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1094 posts tagged with Love.
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Am I looking a gifthorse in the mouth?

I found the greatest guy when I wasn't even looking. But I'm not too long out of a relationship (10 months) where I think I really loved him (despite current man looking so much better on paper), intimacy is taking a while to grow and I just feel a bit wary and not sure I'm into him some of the time. It's been 3/4 months of dating but I'd now say we're firmly headed to relationship territory. But I don't want to stay and waste this person's time if he's not the one for me. I also don't want to throw away something which could be really special, and this person is special, but maybe I know that on paper but don't really appreciate it which doesn't seem like a good start to a relationship. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Dec 14, 2014 - 7 answers

Please help me decide if I should move back to NYC from SF

Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Dec 4, 2014 - 27 answers

"No touching!" Physical touch for the less inclined?

You are not a touchy feely person - that is, you do not openly express emotion or affection through physical contact. How have you learned to give and share love with people in your life whose primary love language is physical touch? [more inside]
posted by nathaole on Dec 2, 2014 - 15 answers

Should I stay or should I go.......again?

My on and off love affair is off again.....I think. We had a row.....made up.....next day she cancelled forthcoming date....not heard from her since. Why do I care what happens next? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Nov 25, 2014 - 36 answers

San Fransisco Corgi.

My girlfriend's birthday is next weekend, and I'd love to surprise her with an hour or two or seven of playing with a corgi in a park, somewhere in SF. [more inside]
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? on Nov 21, 2014 - 11 answers

Keeping love alive and well

What are some of the things you do, and your partner does for you, on a daily basis and perhaps as an occasional surprise that makes you feel loved and helps keep the romantic love in your relationship alive? Anything worthwhile takes some serious effort to maintain and nourish in the long term. I am very much interested in learning about the efforts healthy adults in healthy relationships have made that took their relationship to a higher level of love, maturity and intimacy. [more inside]
posted by xm on Nov 8, 2014 - 35 answers

What percentage of trans individuals are gay/queer?

I am interested in learning to what extent individuals who identify as transexual also identify as queer or homosexual. Have there been any good studies of this? I googled but could not find much - please link me to any studies/findings about the issue.
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory on Oct 31, 2014 - 7 answers

I like a guy who has a girlfriend. What should I do?

I have a crush on a guy that I met in grad school several months ago. He's very nice, smart, and fairly handsome. He appeared a little awkward at first but once I got to know him, he's actually one of the few guys that I can have a long and meaningful conversation with. Although our conversations are mostly school-related, he seems to remember a lot of details from our convo, such as where I used to work a few years ago, what my goals are, etc. He recently joined the same student organization and volunteered at the same research lab with me. I'm very inexperienced in dating so I'm not sure if he's interested in me or not. However, my gut tells me that he might be interested because he often asks me to attend certain meetings or events together, he also occasionally calls me to ask questions (which he could simply ask through text or in person). I recently found out that he has a girlfriend and they both live together so I'm assuming his relationship is pretty serious. Therefore I'm trying to keep my distance from him and not cross the line. But the more I see him/talk to him, the more I like him and I'm not sure what to do. Please advise. Thank you!
posted by missybitsy on Oct 27, 2014 - 24 answers

Do I meet my catfish?

I am in Buenos Aires on holiday visiting a relative for two weeks, and this place is so full of emotion. [more inside]
posted by cupkate on Oct 20, 2014 - 13 answers

Finally had the "marriage" talk with long term boyfriend

Do our expectations of when to get married one day match up? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Oct 14, 2014 - 41 answers

Help me help my 11 year old brother grow up into an awesome person!

What can I do as his sister to help my brother grow up to an awesome person that's hardworking, successful, happy and responsible (and morally good) person. Also one who's educated and has a good amount of fun, worldly experiences. Right now I'm very afraid of him growing up and being a bad person destined for because because of all of the current situations in his life including the way he's being parented. [more inside]
posted by starlybri on Oct 10, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I end it with my great companion of a SO?

I'm unsatisfied in the passion and effort in my relationship but love the companionship. We are like best friends. However, it's been so long since I've seen makeup or hair down, or her really initiating to me. Tons of details inside... thanks for your help. My frustration has been building over a long time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2014 - 88 answers

It's been a year and he still won't sleep with me.

I am a female and my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other about once a week for over a year. I am 27 and he is 30. I know he isn't seeing anybody else, and that he likes me. Why have we still not slept together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 2, 2014 - 50 answers

Plan to move to across the country for love. How do I tell my parents?

Since having a manic episode about a year and a half ago, my parents started treating me like I was a minor again (I'm almost 30 now). How do I most respectfully tell them that I'm am going to move without turning it into "I'M NOT ASKING FOR PERMISSION, DAMMIT: I'M MOVING AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME"? Thanks, mefites. [more inside]
posted by defmute on Sep 25, 2014 - 33 answers

Please tell me how to get through this breakup with sanity intact

I went through a breakup this summer and the mental aftermath has put me in a very bad place. Please help me find peace and perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2014 - 9 answers

How do find a job or career where compassion, sensitivity are assets?

Are there jobs where having a *thin* skin is an asset instead of a liability? Where being loving, caring, emotional, sensitive are a good thing and you don't have to fight those tendencies, especially as a leader? [more inside]
posted by inatizzy on Sep 16, 2014 - 30 answers

Sharing relationship problems for advice with best friend

Is it okay to ever talk about relationship problems with your closest trusted friend(s) for advice or to vent? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Sep 16, 2014 - 22 answers

Relationship plagued by fear/anxiety or is it just bad fit?

How is it possible to feel anxious and questioning most of the time, but also feel genuine moments of excitement to see him and genuine calm/happiness to be in his presence? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 9, 2014 - 29 answers

Why is it so hard to find a women interested in long-term relationship?

I'm a male in my late 20's who's having trouble finding a woman to settle down with. I keep getting attracted to/and attracting women who are either not interested in serious relationships (only casual/physical relationships) or have some self-esteem issues/other problems that makes them very unstable/emotionally fluctuating. I wouldn't describe myself as overly attractive (very average looks and slim build) or promiscuous, so I'm kind of puzzled by how and why these women feel attracted to me. [more inside]
posted by kampken on Sep 6, 2014 - 32 answers

Marriage Discussion in Long Term Relationship

How would you bring up discussion of marriage without scaring your partner or making them feel pressured? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Sep 4, 2014 - 18 answers

Dealing with a love Conundrum

Should I take the leap, and take the risk, or should I just forget about it and move on? [more inside]
posted by wak5700 on Aug 31, 2014 - 11 answers

Should I or should I not ? (date someone while not over someone else)

I am a man. I had an emotional affair with a friend - let’s call him James - whom I was very much in (unrequited) love with, and recently decided to "break up”. The long story is here. Then I decided to start dating and recently met this person, let’s call him Fred, whom I like very much. The problem is that I am absolutely not over James, and we’ve even managed to re-establish contact, still very guarded at this point, although we have not yet met. So I find myself in a quandary and wondering whether it’s fair to start something with Fred when my heart is really with James. I mean, I like Fred very much and could ever grow to love him. But I fear I may be just using them as a convenient toy while waiting for a James moment that will never come. And Fred is a nice enough person that I don’t want to play with him. But then, I also need company and intimacy and I like having him around and he seems to feel the same about me, and is prepared to wait for as long as it takes for me to be truly over James. [more inside]
posted by Kwadeng on Aug 29, 2014 - 26 answers

Is he a narcissist, or just very self-centred?

I've been dating a guy (30) for half a year, and though I am blinded by love, I'm starting to see signs that he could be narcissistic, but am not sure. [more inside]
posted by palomago on Aug 18, 2014 - 44 answers

How do i deal with my boyfriends distance and communication issues?

My boyfriend cancels so often on our dates, and we haven't had sex even though we have been together for half a year, which makes me think he could have a sexual problem or is afraid of getting close to me. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by palomago on Aug 10, 2014 - 59 answers

Stay for love or move for money?

I have a possible job opportunity (and similar ones in the future, if I don't take this one) at a prestigious institution in my field that would allow me to live a comfortable middle-class life, pay my debts, and raise a family or own a house someday. I love my current job, relationship, home, and community, but I'm stuck at a pay level that's barely adequate to cover my bills each month and that's unlikely to increase much over the course of my career. How do I proceed? [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Aug 3, 2014 - 35 answers

How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

I want you like a penguin..in canvas

Looking for prints of animals clearly in love or displaying "love" that I can buy, frame, and hang on my wall [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Jul 18, 2014 - 4 answers

Love songs for married couples?

Songs about long-term, developed love - not butterflies. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Jul 11, 2014 - 78 answers

How to deal with cards I have been dealt?

I was always a very high achiever but in my late teens, I was diagnosed with a debilitating chronic illness. I spent most of my 20s severely limited. In my mid 30s now and still struggling with the feeling that life is unfair. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2014 - 18 answers

Who am I and why should I matter to a boss, a boyfriend, or a friend?

What methods would you recommend to someone looking to develop a sense of self and a more accurate sense of their own value if they've spent most of their life defining themselves and their worth through their grades, their job, and their partner? [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger on Jun 28, 2014 - 21 answers

I'm PRETTY sure I'm gay. Help me be okay with it.

I've always known I was a little different. I have trouble remembering things from my relatively normal childhood, so it took until high school to connect the few dots I had, but after I did that, I relished in the attraction I felt for certain other men. It was exciting and made me feel as though I was part of a community with a common story. I grew up with conservative parents who I haven't been able to tell but who I suspect have an inkling, given the things they found left open on my teenage computer and my shy, sensitive nature. I was fine with not making it a part of my identity and limited its sphere of influence to my taste in porn and online friendships. I never felt the need for a relationship- with women or men- but I enjoyed the way validation from "manly" men made me feel both emotionally and physically. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Jun 26, 2014 - 29 answers

He keeps on flaking.

Today he forgot about our date, and i am really upset because it shows that he doesn't like me right? I would love to see him more regularly, but it isn't happening. At the beginning of our relationship we were both a bit nervous and getting to know eachother, but the last couple of times have been great and we really connected on a deeper level, which is why i still want to see him, but not sure if it is worth it if he flakes. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by aivilo91 on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

How to evaluate news from acquaintance that partner is cheating&on drugs

I have a relationship and thought it was solid. Today my partner's former best friend and current room-mate contacted me to advise my partner has been cheating from the start of the relationship with random people met online. Also, partner has a $100 a day drug habit and is stealing from the elderly mother. Details and specific questions inside. [more inside]
posted by partly squamous and partly rugose on Jun 18, 2014 - 37 answers

It's a bad time...but when is it ever a good time?

I'm coming to realize that my partner is seriously abusing alcohol (and being cavalier about other substances) just as he's embarking on an existential crisis following a messy legal situation (finalizing a divorce that's 2+ years in the making). The relationship needs work; he needs work; hell, I might need work; but he's got a lot on his plate and I can't really pile on. I have kind of lost sight of what is reasonable here, and could use some perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2014 - 30 answers

Trying to find a quote from Gone with the Wind

I'm trying to find an excerpt/quote from Gone with the Wind (the movie). Someone (I think Rhett but I'm not sure) is criticizing Ashley (to his face? behind his back? can't remember) for being unfair to both Scarlett and Melanie. I thought it was along the lines of Ashley being too weak to either love her properly or give her up properly. Help? [more inside]
posted by Salamandrous on Jun 14, 2014 - 4 answers

How can I stop looking at websites that just make me upset?

I can't stop reading PUA websites even though they make me unhappy, and I'm not sure how to deal with the effects it's having on me. [more inside]
posted by aivilo91 on Jun 9, 2014 - 45 answers

I have *the feels* for a boy that I made friends with.

We met as travelers on the Greyhound bus and developed a platonic friendship. I like him so much though. And he may have a girlfriend. Should I just let it go? [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jun 8, 2014 - 20 answers

Socially awkward human seeks advice on friendship.

A while back, my friend sent me a message confessing his love for me. Awesome, right? Not so much. I failed to reply because I am a socially awkward human being and it was overwhelming at the time and now he has stopped speaking to me entirely. I'm not sure how to fix this, and honestly, I'm not sure if I even want to. [more inside]
posted by sarahgrace on Jun 7, 2014 - 19 answers

Help me stop becoming a man-hater/bitter ice queen

I used to be a soft, sensitive, hopeful young woman but too many knocks is making me feel hard, and it shows. I am too young to feel this way, help me figure out new thought processes to prevent this from getting worse. [more inside]
posted by DeadFlagBlues on Jun 6, 2014 - 21 answers

International dating- help me stay safe in worst case scenario

I am currently involved in a sexual/dating/subculture where international meetings are normal. Most recently, men have met me in my city and then we have planned a trip later.... And I have had a fab time with these men- they have been great fun! I am okay with meeting men for dinner in Oslo, London or Stockholm..... I have no problem hopping on a plane and meeting a man, spending a few days with him and nipping back home... but I cannot figure out how to make sure that my flight home is paid for- if something doesn't work out. Is there any way to have your flights and hotel paid for, in a way that the host can not just cancel on you if you refuse to have sex with them?
posted by misspony on Jun 4, 2014 - 27 answers

What, specifically changes as your relationship goes on?

OK people who have been in long term relationships (for our purposes 5 or more years, but the more years the better): How did/has your relationship change/d over time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2014 - 11 answers

Good Movies About Couples in Love

Looking for some good, non-sappy movies about married (hetero) couples in committed, loving and devoted relationships - with emphasis on devotion. Not necessarily romance, but authentic, real love between 2 people - even if and when TSHTF. They stick through it all because they have each other's back. [more inside]
posted by watercarrier on May 22, 2014 - 30 answers

Startled by a tender moment - how much to give in?

For the past two years, I've developed an very stable and satisfying dating style that suits me for the time being - I maintain a certain emotional distance and all of my sexual relations fall very easily in the platonic category - I've thus far avoided any complications. However, I was completely startled when a friend I had expected to sleep with ended up being intensely sweet and now my system is a bit shaken up. I'm not sure how much to give in to this feeling I'm having for him. In a way, I can't remember what's normal to be feeling in these situations. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2014 - 16 answers

love in complicated times

What are some good movies that follow complicated (but not needlessly miserable) adult relationships in the context of larger social changes or problems? [more inside]
posted by AtoBtoA on May 2, 2014 - 36 answers

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner?

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner? Snowflakery to follow [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 26 answers

Should I stay or should I go now?

I’m no longer in love with my fiance and I’m not sure how I should proceed. The complicating factor is our children. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2014 - 28 answers

How to express love with Saturday Matinee clichés…

In my (D/s) relationship saying “I love you” is totally out of the question. However, expressions of affection and adoration expressing that sentiment are allowed and highly encouraged. In old B&W movies of the 1930’s/40’s I hear phrases like: “In my eyes there’s no man taller” (about a vertically challenged suitor), and “You set the sun, hang the moon and paint the stars"... Sappy, sentimental, campy, corny, kinky (bonus points for kinkified!), and just plain funny phrases that will let someone know that they are "the only duck in my pond" are what I’m after.
posted by goml on Apr 16, 2014 - 18 answers

Save me from my dumb brain

How can I stop thinking about the woman who broke my heart? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 15 answers

He's just definitely that into you

What does healthy requited love look like? How do I know if a person Likes Me Back? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Apr 9, 2014 - 31 answers

What makes a woman "creepy?"

There's plenty of literature out there about creepy men, "nice guys" and other types of that sort. Where are all the resources for this regarding *women?* Google is only giving me examples like she put [something gross] in my food or she made inappropriate references to getting pregnant. I'm looking for something more subtle. Bonus points if it's aimed toward socially-awkward nerdy types. [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Apr 9, 2014 - 23 answers

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