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How to express love with Saturday Matinee clichés…

In my (D/s) relationship saying “I love you” is totally out of the question. However, expressions of affection and adoration expressing that sentiment are allowed and highly encouraged. In old B&W movies of the 1930’s/40’s I hear phrases like: “In my eyes there’s no man taller” (about a vertically challenged suitor), and “You set the sun, hang the moon and paint the stars"... Sappy, sentimental, campy, corny, kinky (bonus points for kinkified!), and just plain funny phrases that will let someone know that they are "the only duck in my pond" are what I’m after.
posted by goml on Apr 16, 2014 - 18 answers

 

Save me from my dumb brain

How can I stop thinking about the woman who broke my heart? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 13 answers

He's just definitely that into you

What does healthy requited love look like? How do I know if a person Likes Me Back? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Apr 9, 2014 - 31 answers

What makes a woman "creepy?"

There's plenty of literature out there about creepy men, "nice guys" and other types of that sort. Where are all the resources for this regarding *women?* Google is only giving me examples like she put [something gross] in my food or she made inappropriate references to getting pregnant. I'm looking for something more subtle. Bonus points if it's aimed toward socially-awkward nerdy types. [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Apr 9, 2014 - 23 answers

He loves me, I love him not

A few days ago my training partner/coach/ friend professed his feelings for me; I don't feel the same way. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2014 - 32 answers

How can I let myself be vulnerable in my new relationship?

I think I have some messed up ideas about relationships, that are going to get in the way of me finding true intimacy and being a really good partner to someone. I want to get over these ideas but am terrified that acting in a more authentic and loving way will backfire. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2014 - 8 answers

Who would i hire to research a personal life? Literally.

So I'm trying to figure out who I would hire - theoretically - to do an index or census of a personal life. I want someone who would be able to look at a life (with consent) to study it. The person would follow a subject around to determine core friends/family/contacts on a daily basis and then do research based on relationships. Then they'd objectively drill down into some key data points. - How many of the people in my life up to one relationship away (aka my brother's good friends) are married or single and for how long - How many of my past relationships are single/married and for how long Beyond that maybe some polling on specific questions about the subject from those people. So who am I looking for here? Is it a Private Investigator? A sociologist? A statistician? A life coach? Is there someone in an "I Heart Huckabees" way that you hire to do this sort of thing? Is this already a job or service someone provides and I don't know the name?
posted by rileyray3000 on Apr 7, 2014 - 5 answers

3 year pseudo relationship with ex AFTER breakup. Does he love me?

I met my ex online 4 years ago. We hit it off and started dating shortly after. A mutual breakup occurred about 8 months later due to some arguments we had. He was in love with me during our relationship, but I did not fall in love with him until after we broke up. A couple months after we broke up, we made the brilliant decision that I should become his new roomie. During our time living together we had sex on a regular (weekly+) basis. I dated a bit, but nothing serious. He did not date. We ended up living together, along with his brother, for 2 years. During this time we hung out most days. I moved out about a year ago, but he insisted that I keep the key to his house. We still hang out about once a week and have sex nearly as often. The sex tends to be pretty intense and I know that definitely complicates things. He never expects the sex; he is perfectly fine with me going over just to watch a movie and then leaving. Recently he has been cuddly in bed and that is something new. I usually sleep over after we haven't sex. He still hasn't dated since our breakup 3 years ago. [more inside]
posted by GrapCrap on Apr 7, 2014 - 29 answers

Cant. Seem. To. Move. On.

I'm 30 and female. A year and a half ago I broke up with this guy who I had been with for just as long. I didn't want to break up with him, because I loved him dearly, but I had to because he was treating me so poorly near the end. Ever since we broke up, I've been a semi wreck when it comes to anything romantic. I had an ill-advised rebound with a secret alcoholic followed by a guy who took me for a three month long ride. Meanwhile my ex got back in touch from afar (he lived in another state) this summer and started calling me every night, telling me he loved me and was open to us being together again when I moved to where he lived. But when I actually did move to NY (where he lives) not for him but to start my career in earnest, he abruptly changed his tune. Suddenly he didn't even want to be my friend and couldn't stay in touch. We last spoke a month and a half ago (we've been in very sporadic contact since I moved) and I haven't heard from him since. [more inside]
posted by caseofyou on Mar 30, 2014 - 26 answers

ain't 2 proud 2 beg

I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. We are both mid-thirties; have discussed marriage and kids and are on the same page;we live together; and things are great. Except for one thing - I initiate sex most of the time and want it more. I know the next part is not right, but, me initiating things all of the time makes me feel bad. I know it is a stereotype to expect men to be wanting to have sex more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 23, 2014 - 9 answers

"Honeymoon phase" wearing off - Destiny or decision?

People keep telling me that my husband and I are still in the "honeymoon phase" and that it will wear off. I disagree, and I think that "honeymoon phase" is a bunch of crap, but maybe I am being naive? Can a couple maintain a level of romance and affection and "in love"-edness throughout their relationship, or must it inevitably fade? I'd love to hear people's experiences, and examples of where they have been able to maintain the "honeymoon" feeling, and where the honeymoon phase ended and why they think that was. [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson on Mar 21, 2014 - 39 answers

Do I marry/have kids with longterm love if I'm not ready due to career?

I love my partner - we have known each other for over a decade and have been together for over five years. I am in my 30s and he wants to live together/get married and/or start a family. I have insisted we wait due to my graduate school (and later) career struggles. Now we are older and our time frame for children (if not settling down with children in mind later) is diminishing. I don't know the right thing to do - specifics inside... [more inside]
posted by partly squamous and partly rugose on Mar 21, 2014 - 25 answers

How is chammistry formed?

Do you have any tips on how to behave on early dates to increase romantic chemistry? [more inside]
posted by Mr C on Mar 19, 2014 - 29 answers

"I love you" 1) What does it mean? 2) When do you say it? 3) To whom?

I'm curious. What's the normal meaning? What's your meaning? Do you have expectations associated with saying it/what expectations? My details inside. [more inside]
posted by chrysanthemum on Mar 14, 2014 - 24 answers

Lucky shirt.

What are your favorite relatively realistic love poems? Modern poets especially appreciated. [more inside]
posted by woodvine on Mar 10, 2014 - 26 answers

How to discourage an ill-advised marriage without alienating the person?

My partner's 18 year old sister wants to marry her boyfriend of one year. They both live at home with their respective parents, are not planning to pursue post-secondary school, and are financially insecure (she does not work, he works part time). They have recently converted to a fundamentalist version of a new faith, and their plan is to rely on her disabled mother who would lose her benefits by caring for them - the mother is against this but of course loves her daughter. Their religious community is encouraging them (but not offering financial aid). What can we do to support her but not her decision? [more inside]
posted by partly squamous and partly rugose on Mar 9, 2014 - 27 answers

Love songs with dark, disturbing music and lyrics

I am looking for songs about love and/or obsession that feature a creepy / dark / disturbing aesthetic. [more inside]
posted by Noisy Pink Bubbles on Mar 1, 2014 - 78 answers

Head vs. Heart debate: can it work if I am not 'in love' with him?

For just over a year I have been with a guy who is perfect for me on paper. He is sweet, kind, intelligent, hardworking, loves me and would do anything for me... we get on with each other’s families. We share values, interests, friends, ideas about where to go on holiday. But although I care about him a lot I’m not 'in love' with him, and I’m not sure I will ever be. [more inside]
posted by Britchick35 on Mar 1, 2014 - 65 answers

Can You Help Find the Missing Pieces in These Playlists?

I know there are songs I want on these playlists that I'm not remembering, and I'm constantly aware that I have blind spots that may be robbing me of perfect songs. Can you help me attack either issue by looking over one or both playlists then suggesting songs to add? [more inside]
posted by batmonkey on Feb 25, 2014 - 5 answers

How do I work out what to do next, without disrespecting my marriage.

Out of nowhere it seems, I’m considering asking my wife for a divorce and I can’t figure out if its because I met someone else I feel I’d really like to get to know or because I’ve realized that we just aren’t meant to be. Or am I just being a douche for even considering throwing away what I’m confident almost anyone would agree is a marriage to a great woman? Sorry for the long story… My wife is a great person – of course – why would you marry someone you didn’t think this about? The list is huge – she’s smart, funny, empathetic, gets me, is very beautiful and will one day I know make a really wonderful mother. I know most would say all of this about their spouse, but even with rational eyes, the above is true. She has bad points too for sure, but no need to list those off as well. We’ve only been married about 18 months, but together for some time before this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2014 - 58 answers

How do you untangle the threads of a beat-up heart?

I'm in the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful woman; it's our second go at this. I'm pretty sure this is love. But my anxiety and depression is holding me back, or making me doubt how I feel, or stopping me from actually expressing how I feel. And I don't know how to navigate this. I don't know whether to push through all these uncertainties or walk away. Help me work it out, mefites. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 11, 2014 - 18 answers

Songs for your true love/arch-nemesis.

I'm looking for more love songs with a specific theme - essentially, "You drive me fucking crazy and sometimes I want to throttle you and we're both kind of fucked up AND ALSO I love you more than anything and need you more than air and think you're the best person ever." [more inside]
posted by DulcineaX on Feb 7, 2014 - 46 answers

Small Valentine's gestures, not too corny, delivered sneakily

Ideas needed for a low-key sneak attack expression of "I'm glad you're in my life and I adore you, even if this holiday is for the birds (according to you)"? I expect no reciprocation (really) other than verbal acknowledgment + kisses. This relationship is good--fabulous, really--but scheduling/logistics and his stubbornness against "Hallmark holidays" mean that Valentine's will likely pass unmentioned. And yet...I love any excuse to do something special with/for him, so I'd like to leave something sweet on his doorstep. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Feb 5, 2014 - 27 answers

What is love, anyway?

I am in love with a man who claims that he cannot feel love, that he does not know what it is and I want to figure out whether to stay with him in the casual/open/this-will-one-day-end romantic relationship we are in now, to cut that off entirely and just try to be friends, or to go all in and try to forge a long term bond and hope that he will one day feel love. [more inside]
posted by telomere on Jan 31, 2014 - 59 answers

I feel like I’m not good enough. How can I battle my depression

I’m a 25 year old female and have been going through a lot of depression over the past year, mostly in the areas of finance and romance. [more inside]
posted by summertimesadness1988 on Jan 25, 2014 - 19 answers

What's the line between having needs and being needy?

I recently married the love of my life after dating for a year. He's a good man, really kind, wonderful to my kids and sweet to me. I don't want to screw it up but I'm also getting tired of being on my best behavior. [more inside]
posted by Lizlemondrop on Jan 22, 2014 - 31 answers

Conscious Pop Music Hits of 2012-2014 for Play-List, Suggestions Needed

"Same Love" by Macklemore is the epitome of a conscious (social, environmental justice) pop music song that has been a hit over the past two years. I'm looking for others to create a playlist - pop music songs that have been hits with a socially environmentally conscious message, or at least are not misogynist or violent in any way - talk about love, relationships, etc in a respectful way. Can you make any suggestions? Thx!
posted by franklen on Jan 15, 2014 - 7 answers

You're in my blood like holy wine, you taste so bitter and so sweet

I can't seem to get over my ex and I'm worried that I never will. Is that possible? It feels like I'm grieving something heavier than the loss of a relationship. [more inside]
posted by caseofyou on Jan 5, 2014 - 30 answers

Girl of my dreams and I decided to not do long distance when shes abroad

Girl I've been dating for a few months, who is perfect for me, has left to go abroad for 10 months. We decided not to do long distance but to keep in close contact. I'm planning to visit her. I'm in this grey area where we are in an unlabeled, romantic friendship and care deeply about each other but due to distance and uncertainty of the future, we can't commit. I'm just scared we are going to lose our amazing connection and fall apart, so I need some perspective on how to keep close and be as intimate as possible in the face of this distance, and the freedom to date other people. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2014 - 15 answers

How to pronounce "I love you" in Sinhala (Sri Lankan)?

I know it's spelled "mama oyāṭa ādareyi" and I can sort of read it phonetically, but I really want to know exactly. Can anyone direct me to an audio or video, or at least explain the inflections to me? =)
posted by Ellabelle797 on Jan 2, 2014 - 4 answers

Can children detect on some level when love is not genuine?

Can children detect on some level when love is not genuine? An example would be when a parent is affectionate to spite their own parents as if to say "This is what you were supposed to do with me," rather than doing so out of a genuine feeling towards the child. Acting the part without the emotion and connection to back it. Can this be perceived by the child and perhaps effect their emotional development? If so, to what degree could this hinder them in the long term?
posted by mrflibble on Jan 1, 2014 - 22 answers

Songs for when the boyfriend is away. "Home is wherever I'm with you..."

My boyfriend is away and I'm making a playlist of poppy songs about love that are either cheery (& uptempo) or lovely/sweet (& understated) without being "too much" of a good thing. Currently have two songs: I wouldn't dance and Home. Nothing over-the-top (no Whitney Houston or other full-lung songstresses, nothing overproduced). Any decade is fine by me. Unfortunately, I don't have much happy music and I've run out of songs already (and one of my two songs is already leaning heavily towards sad/wistful!). Any help?
posted by flibbertigibbet on Dec 27, 2013 - 38 answers

Can We Be Friends?

I had a sort-of breakup recently, and I'm wondering whether I should move forward as friends or never speak to this guy again. [more inside]
posted by cscott on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

How To Talk About Sex

Occasionally, I bring up the subject of sex with my partner, and I always get nowhere. Sex has never been something that we've really talked about. We had those first few conversations when we met several years ago: disclosures of risks, general preferences, expectations for monogamy, etc. and from there we just let it develop naturally. We need to talk about it because our sex life isn't meeting my needs, and I've asked to talk about it, but I still don't know how to talk about it, and I'm afraid this is just going to become another in a string of failed attempts to talk about sex. [more inside]
posted by this *is* my happy face on Dec 19, 2013 - 28 answers

SSRIs and the end of romantic love

Four months after my husband went on Lexapro, I could see it in his face that he didn't love me anymore. At seven months, he asked to separate after four years of marriage. After finding this article online, I'm curious as to whether others have had similar experiences. Have you or your spouse experienced a decline in attachment/romantic love after starting an SSRI? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2013 - 71 answers

Brain and body not both in love, makes me feel bad

I have been dating a woman for just under six months that I met unexpectedly when visiting another city. She is almost perfect: smart,funny, sassy, intellectually stimulating, kind, attentive, independently minded, socially aware, positive, sociable, generous, emotionally strong and sensitive, likes and wants to have children, easy going and has great friends. She dresses well and is pretty, has a lovely smile and is healthful. We enjoy straightforward communication and are open and honest with each other. I am not very physically attracted to her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2013 - 25 answers

Oh the fun you'll have!

Magical video of festive people speaking lines in rhyme about life and fun? [more inside]
posted by Mike Mongo on Nov 25, 2013 - 2 answers

Should I give this another shot?

I searched for similar questions but had a hard time finding something that applied to what I think is a very specific situation. I'm trying to decide if I should attempt dating an ex, and I'm hoping the Hive Mind can help me out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2013 - 23 answers

Should I stay or should I go?

I am in a strange situation. Around 8 or so months ago I met a man on a message board. We started private contact and things quickly turned romantic. He lives in another country that I will be visiting in a few months. There are some concerns in if I should bail now or go through with the meeting. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2013 - 30 answers

What Does a Woman Taste Like?

However bizarre my inquisition, for those men and women who have 'been down,' and eaten the proverbial flower, what have your experiences been like? What does it taste like? Men taste like skin and smell a bit earthy.. and sometimes taste incredibly salty which is slightly unpleasant but not off-putting in the moment lol. So what do we taste like?
posted by OneHermit on Nov 18, 2013 - 19 answers

I've been going in circles about this for a while

My relatively new boyfriend (half a year) told me he never wanted to get married or have kids. I have always wanted these things. Friends tell me that since we're still young and none of this is an issue yet, I shouldn't be worrying about it, but I can't help it. What to do? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Nov 18, 2013 - 49 answers

How do you get over someone who loves you and still leaves you

There's a lot of advice out there for getting over someone but I can't wrap my head around being left unexpectedly when I still feel loved. First time being broken up with at 30 doesn't help either... [more inside]
posted by Valkyrie21 on Nov 16, 2013 - 29 answers

songs: i'm sorry

Looking for songs that reflect the following sentiment: I'm sorry I hurt you, you were right to end things, I hope we can build a better friendship but I don't expect anything, thank you for trying anyway. [more inside]
posted by divabat on Nov 13, 2013 - 22 answers

taking responsibility in a breakup

How do you manage healing from a breakup when you contributed a lot to the problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2013 - 18 answers

Overwhelming need for intimacy.

I've been really lonely the past year or two, and it's been very overwhelming how much I've missed being with someone. I romanticize women I come across and it always leads to disappointment. How do I stop doing this? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Nov 4, 2013 - 18 answers

Happy endings, the second time around

I'm seeking fictional stories of second chances at love that work out successfully, but not the standard Act II breakup with a happy Act III resolution. [more inside]
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese on Oct 28, 2013 - 11 answers

Can I learn to cope with possibly permanent lack of a sex and love life?

I'm a straight guy, late thirties. I have little sexual experience and have never been in a romantic relationship, for reasons of social anxiety and body image which I won't get into here. It's coming to seem possible that this will never change, and that thought is extremely painful to me. How can I learn to live with it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 28, 2013 - 35 answers

Were my relationship expectations unrealistic?

Having been in a nigh 4 year relationship, it's ended and I'm left wondering did I just expect too much? [more inside]
posted by Junghans on Oct 25, 2013 - 29 answers

Recommend media that is dark, sad, and beautiful

I love the theatrical, haunting, sad, yet, beautiful music of Lana Del Ray. Can you recommend any similar music, or accompanying literature and cinema? Thank you!
posted by blithecatpie on Oct 24, 2013 - 38 answers

Wuv! Troooo wuv!

Help me add nerd cred to a wedding speech. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2013 - 12 answers

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