My husband cheated on me and left me after nearly two decades of a wonderful, loving, respectful marriage. The betrayal came out of nowhere, and involved emotional and on occasion physical abuse. I can't just go no contact, because we've got a daughter, we're financially entangled, and we will be for years. I am having trouble forging a new, post-marriage relationship with him because I'm deeply hurt, raw, angry, sad, and disoriented. I also can't picture what that relationship even looks like. And he has asked to spend all day on Christmas here at the house ... I don't know if I can handle it. [more inside]
I lost my husband this year, and my adult children lost their beloved father. I would like to start a tradition for remembrance this Christmas, at a meal or at gift opening. Ideally it should be short, meaningful, and accommodating of a wide range of beliefs, from atheist, to agnostic, to believer, to alternate religion. Any suggestions?
A family member lost her sense of smell in an accident and we would like to hold a little "memorial ceremony" to help her process it. Can you think of any songs, poems, quotations, readings, symbolic activities we could use? Serious and humorous suggestions are fine.
Have you ever dropped a bomb on your life? Been disowned by your parents? Shunned by your extended family and community? Please tell me about it. [more inside]
A mentor of mine passed away pretty suddenly a few weeks ago. I attended her funeral, cried, wrote out some of my thoughts, and think about her from time to time while listening to music that reminds me of her. This isn't affecting my daily function, but it has been on the back burner for a while. Now what? [more inside]
Late 30's female here who is undergoing a physician supervised diet because (obviously) I need to lose weight. I'm only on day two and all I can think about is FOOD! I keep reminding myself of all the reasons I want and need to lose weight but I'm getting discouraged. I know it's going to take time to break the old, unhealthy habits so, until that happens, I'm looking for advice on how to get over this hurdle. Special bonus points for website suggestions with inspirational stories.
Recently, I was my PCP and inquired about appetite suppressants. (I had taken adipex many years ago, which was great) and she informed me that she did not prescribe Adipex due to the possible cardiac side effects - but that she was prescribing Topamax as a weight loss aid due to the side effect of the medication being loss of appetite. She said it works quite well for a large majority of her patients, but not everyone. Has anyone here been prescribed Topamax specifically for this reason? If so, how well did it work and would you recommend it?
A friend who lives far from me delivered a beautiful baby boy yesterday at 24 weeks and lost him only hours later. I would like to send her something, what should I send? [more inside]
I've always been a huge overplanner but rarely follow through on any of my plans. When I do try, I get so obsessive about it it inevitably falls apart. I've been "trying" to lose the 40 lbs I gained in college (I'm 24 now) for the past 3 years without success. How can I actually lose weight without being so anal about it? [more inside]
How do the elderly process loss? [more inside]
I've had a truly awful year, and in April my much beloved pet died suddenly leaving me completely devastated with guilt and grief. Among the things I no longer seem to be able to do is answer the innocuous "How are you?" question from acquaintances and colleagues. Any suggestions? [more inside]
For the first time, in my early 40's, I'm overweight and ashamed and embarrassed and can't get back on track. [more inside]
Does anyone have any suggestions for working out and dieting that has worked for them? Although I do not have any health problems (knock on wood), I would really like to get into shape. I typically use the elliptical at the health club and I enjoy running out side except I tend to get shin splints. Not sure whether anyone has any book recommendations that helped motivate them? I can't stand how I feel and look as of late, so I need to do something drastic. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
I work with a woman whose adult son passed away a little over a year ago. My mom also passed away 2.5 years ago, and we really connected over our losses. Last year for Mother's Day I sent my co-worker some standard flowers. This year I'd like to do something different, but need ideas. [more inside]
I had to put my beloved cat down last week and I'm frankly stunned by how hard the grief has hit me. He showed up at my back door 14 years ago and never left. We had a great time together. I decided to bury him in the garden but when I got home I found I couldn't dig down further than about a 8-12 inches because of tree roots and sprinkler lines. I have a bad back already, so in a panic, I buried him in his towel at that depth and put a 38-pound paver stone on top. I have a fenced yard and only a few stray cats (I note the ones always bullying him have disappeared) and maybe a possum find their way in. Now I am wracked with anxiety, worrying that he is not safe and I should not have done it, and maybe I should dig him up and cremate him, which would be awful to imagine...I can't stand it. Is there some drawback to this more shallow grave I don't know about? No animal could lift that stone. So far this anxiety and fear is the worst part of it. So if you could allay my fears, I'd appreciate it.
I think I'm about to have to deal with the loss of a beloved pet cat. I am not sure how to best handle dealing with her remains. I want to keep them. Can anyone help me figure this out? [more inside]
What I’m trying to figure out now is how to trust people again, trust myself again, and find myself/my voice again. [more inside]
I'm trying to think of more examples of this particular moment: a character who is dying, or thinking of death, or speaking from beyond the grave, gives a list or inventory of the everyday things they remember and appreciate about being alive. A few examples inside. [more inside]
I am having trouble dealing with the loss of my parent. What did you do during a period of acute loss that helped you hang in? [more inside]
How do you deal with a complicated loss of friendship that has no possible resolution? [more inside]
There is no shortage of diets for people who want to lose weight quickly: Atkins, the "Zone" diet, the Vegan diet, the Weight-Watchers diet, the Mediterranean diet, ... But there are countless articles and experts which seem to refute the "evidence" put forth by the creators of such diets. Question is, do you know whether the latest diet advertised by Dr. Oz (the " Garcinia Cambogia" extract-based diet) is safe / do you have any information on it? [more inside]
I have crippling, perhaps justified fear of being fired. My fear is making my performance suffer, causing me misery and probably making firing more likely. How do I stop thinking like this? [more inside]
I'm going through some things that have both brought me a lot of sadness and presented an opportunity to change my life for the better. I'm wondering if there are any books the MeFi hive can recommend, novels, memoirs or otherwise. They should be about people who have suffered loss, perhaps enduring shame, but emerging better for it. [more inside]
My wedding is coming up in a few months and I want to find some small things I can do to reduce my spare tire before I walk down the aisle. [more inside]
My boss' mother is dying. It's not about me, but: what am I not doing that I should be doing? What have I not even thought of? [more inside]
How do you deal with the death of a good friend? [more inside]
How to handle my healthy pregnancy and friends' pregnancy struggles? [more inside]
hi forum, I'm checking to see if any of you have any experience using Belviq or other weight loss medication. I'm overweight, and while I do try to get exercise, it seems it's not enough to make much of a dent, and now I'm having knee and back problems when I try to job (for the above mentioned exercise). Someone recommended that I look at Belviq or other weight loss medication. Do any of you have any experience with this or similar medication? kind regards, -matt
What are video games in which your decisions rob you of resources or options, leaving you with fewer and fewer possibilities as the game goes on? [more inside]
I'm trying to lose weight, again. One thing I perpetually struggle with is the impulse to snack, especially in the afternoon and evening. I'm trying to distract myself from snacking with new and exciting calorie free beverages, and I'm stuck in a rut. I love Diet Coke, but am trying to reduce my intake of chemical sweeteners. Plain water is obvious, and seltzer with citrus is only a little less so. I've experimented with cold brewing green tea, and I like that, but I am looking for more creative ideas. What are your favorite ZERO CALORIE beverages? I am really not interested in anything that involves any form of sugar. Ideally your idea does not involve artificial sweetener, but if it's an enchanting concoction that REQUIRES aspartame or sucralose, I'm down. I am in the U.S., if that matters, and you may assume I can procure just about any ingredient/beverage within reason. I'm interested in product recommendations as well as recipes, and note that I'm fine with a moderate level of fiddliness, as a project recipe that ends in calorie free indulgence will keep me away from the chips and ice cream for MINUTES AT A TIME. :)
My father was given a terminal diagnosis almost a decade ago. I am so lucky that he is still here. But I'm exhausted from living with the specter of his imminent death all these years. And I feel like I've been missing out on living my own life. How do I find more space for myself, even as I try to cherish the time I have with him (which now does seem to be running short)? [more inside]
CPAP users: Did you manage to lose weight after starting CPAP? [more inside]
What can I do in the short term to feel better while losing weight when everything seems to make me gassy, swollen and uncomfortable? My doctor's answer to everything seems to be "Lose weight!". That's not going to help these problems in the moment. TMI descriptions follow... [more inside]
I just ended a year-long relationship two months ago with the love of my life. He was a brilliant, creative, talented and generous man with Asperger's and a long, complicated history of severe mental illness. He was an Army vet and had lived an incredible life, full of adventures but also extreme trauma and heartbreak. He killed himself on Friday. How do I go on? [more inside]
I have been noticing recently that I have a hard time knowing what people are saying to me at work, so I usually just nod and laugh or something. my hearing feels a bit muffled and sometimes at night my ears ring for no real reason (tinnitus?). I also listen to music when I jog through ear buds. It doesn't feel like I'm playing the songs too loud, and I listen to my ipod about every other day for about an hour. I am gonna hold out on any more listening until i figure out what's going on. I recently went to my ear nose and throat doctor and had a hearing test. He said it came back next to perfect. This confused me. Should I consult an audiologist? I feel like I'm struggling to hear others, especially when there is background noise. If anyone can give me any feedback, I'd surely appreciate it. I am 30 btw.
Death of a parent and a breakup- how to disentangle the two, get a virtual lobotomy regarding the breakup, and for heavens sake just fucking move on regarding the breakup. [more inside]
Are there non-prescription simpler, yet awesome cat food to try to alleviate his allergies? [more inside]
Recently in a social situation I was asked my thoughts on a budgeting item and I gave it along with a solution that I had given thought to and was planning on presenting to the budget chair. (We work in different departments but run things past each other on occasion). One of the people at the gathering was a woman with political ambitions for our small town. A few days later she wrote a letter to the editor that gave my exact idea. What would you do? On the plus side it was very well received, OTH it was mine. I realize I should have said nothing and it was my mistake. I figure people that were there would know it wasn't hers and hopefully someone will point that out. Can I address it or should I leave it?
My partner just ended our relationship, what strategies can I use to get through the night and next few days? [more inside]
I am looking for a poem that was published in Granta magazine sometime between 1992-1995. It wasn't in a poetry-only issue. [more inside]
Printable workout schedules? [more inside]
What techniques do you use to process big changes in your life? I'm interested in specific tips to deal with change once you've accepted it and made it. [more inside]
How can I help my friends whose daughter was killed in yesterday's school shootings? [more inside]
Family drama: what should we be doing? This was me. Last night, my pregnant-with-twins sister went to the ER with bleeding and what felt like early contractions. [more inside]
I have adult onset psoriasis. My eyebrows have been thinning because of it and small bald spots in my brow are becoming more and more visible. I have been using T-Gel to prevent it, applying castor oil at night to see if it helps my eyebrow hair grow back, and not tweezing. What else can I do and take to help with eyebrow hair growth?
Daughter's father no longer in our lives, unexpectedly, after some sad times. Daughter (5) now a stressed little kid. Therapy coming up, but… ? [more inside]
For a while now, maybe several months or so (this only proves further how terrible my memory is) I have been experiencing long term memory loss. I have great trouble remembering my childhood, places I've been to, anything at all that i learned in school a year or two ago. I always forget what I say to people even a few weeks ago. They will talk about something I said or something I did and I won't remember. When I go to bed, the hours just before become unknown to me. When I try to remember what happened in the last hours of the night it is all foggy and fragmented. This is not something I normally experience, especially all the things I've done with family and friends, I can barely remember anything and it makes me very sad. [more inside]
I've never eaten too healthy in my life. I feel like it's taking a toll on my body and my mood at a relatively young age. More details inside. (long and some things about my past) [more inside]
I'm losing focus on my weight loss goals and I don't want to fall off the wagon. I have had to fight hard to lose what I have lost, and I do not want to back track. How do you get your head back in the game and really find the time to focus on it and prioritize it when your life has become extremely busy? [more inside]