162 posts tagged with Loneliness.
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Surrounded by people but feel alone

I'm married, mother of one, good job, lots of acquaintances. Why do I feel so lonely? [more inside]
posted by shock muppet on Jul 10, 2016 - 15 answers

Trying to understand why no one likes me

It feels like in pretty much every sphere of my life everyone around me makes friends with each other as though by magic but no one ever makes friends with me. I really can't see what the difference is between me and these other people and how we interact but this is such a consistent pattern it can't all be in my head. I want to learn how to become a likeable person which mostly seems to be something about someone's energy or manner rather than anything tangible or concrete. [more inside]
posted by ninjablob on May 12, 2016 - 78 answers

Late-twenties guy with no friends?

I'm a late-twenties guy with no friends. I feel like I need to get out of this situation somehow. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2016 - 37 answers

Accio happiness! 2016 Divorce Recovery Edition

Recently divorced, I filed. Having so much trouble dealing with how I lost financial security, a decent place to live and general happiness. Looking for help/ideas on how to recover and want to go on through life. There are days when it's dragging me over gravel to get up and get going. Sidenote, treated for Bipolar I and medicated. Likely going to adjust. Seeing therapist. [more inside]
posted by Draccy on Apr 24, 2016 - 10 answers

Should I Even Date?

I don't know if I even want a relationship. How do I find out? [more inside]
posted by zchyrs on Apr 5, 2016 - 11 answers

Who am I?

I'm 28 and my life is a mess and I don't know where to start fixing it. A big part of the problem is that I don't feel like I have any sense of who I am. How can I find out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2016 - 18 answers

in limbo

My life's turned upside down within the space of a couple of months. My dad has cancer, I've left my job, home, and city to move home to be there for him. Everything is so weird right now, I feel like I am in total personal limbo and completely ALONE. Has anyone who's been in this situation before got any advice to share with me? [more inside]
posted by sockandawe on Feb 16, 2016 - 14 answers

How do I deal with working from home?

I started a new job working from home 4 months ago. I'm also single and relatively new to the city I live in, without much of a social circle or local support network, and am finding the social isolation to be a bit much. What are some things I can do to cope/feel better? [more inside]
posted by Automocar on Jan 14, 2016 - 15 answers

It's been a long December-- reason to believe

It's been a long year for Draccy. I've separated, started divorce proceedings, had a huge mental health scare and am currently battling loneliness, shame and desolation. My hand aches where my wedding band used to be. I used to fidget with it. I miss it. So here's the scoop. [more inside]
posted by Draccy on Dec 11, 2015 - 22 answers

Taking a break from dating when you're lonely and have no friends.

I want to take a long break from dating to get to know myself better. The thing is, I don't have any in person friends and am very lonely. I mostly just hang out with my Mom. How do I keep myself from dating again just to fill the loneliness? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Nov 26, 2015 - 17 answers

Fear of loneliness *and* fear of dating

I'm terrified of loneliness and terrified of dating. Needless to say, I'm wound up most of the time. What can I do about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2015 - 7 answers

How to tackle multiple goals or get shit done w/anxiety etc.

Sort of recently (about 2 & a half months in) moved to a brand new town so my husband (I'm, 29, he's 32) could go to uni. I was so stoked on having a clean slate to start everything anew, but not so much any more. Reality has set in and i'm dealing with soaring bouts of anxiety and pretty severe mood swings, and can't seem to decide anything tangible to get shit actually done. Any ideas / practical advice regarding how to deal with this would be so welcome. I have so much time alone i think i'm actually going a little nuts. More inside [more inside]
posted by speakeasy on Nov 18, 2015 - 18 answers

Is there a way to google twitter accounts without followers?

I would like to observe some active twitter accounts without followers, or with very few followers (let's say, no more than 3). Is there a way to search those particular accounts? Is there a google ninja (or bing, or yandex) that may help me?
posted by - on Aug 11, 2015 - 2 answers

Techniques for dealing with lack of partner?

I am looking for techniques for surviving when you don't have the kinds of loving relationships you want. I was dumped late last year and am having real trouble with loneliness and staying hopeful. I've tried all the suggestions, go to meetups, do stuff you'd enjoy anyway... the trouble is, i don't really enjoy spending time around strangers. the feeling i get going up to a meetup doesn't satisfy my need for emotional connection the way talking to someone i'm really close to does. [more inside]
posted by ninjablob on Jun 3, 2015 - 24 answers

Thwarting loneliness in times of trial

How can I cope with the fact that I will likely be single for the next several years? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Apr 18, 2015 - 21 answers

there's no place like home unless you haven't gone one

I'm looking for comforting words and concrete advice on going through the growing pains of finding where I belong. Of course there are special snowflake details. [more inside]
posted by quadrant seasons on Apr 11, 2015 - 7 answers

My mom is lonely and alone. Can I offer healthy support with boundaries?

I recently posted my current situation here. I'm still struggling with a longstanding issue: My mom's undiagnosed (notwithstanding a brief stint on anti-depressants 15 years ago following her divorce) possible depression. About once or twice a year I find myself with her while she sobs uncontrollably and talks about how lonely and alone she feels as she ages. These are all valid feelings and fears, but everytime I bring up seeing a counsellor to help her get her life back on track, giver her tools to cope, filter out the negative energy in her life (such as her codependent relationship with her 29 y/o son), she refuses to admit there is a problem. [more inside]
posted by stumblingthroughitall on Mar 31, 2015 - 12 answers

Making friends for people who hate being in groups.

I dislike being in groups, but I'm finding that I'm at a life stage where my friendships are dwindling - people have kids, move away, etc. I like being around people in one-on-one interactions. [more inside]
posted by unstrungharp on Mar 17, 2015 - 16 answers

How can we make our city apartment more of a social hub?

My wife and I are in our late thirties with a young child of 2, living in a big European city. Though we still have social lives outside and host a few dinners a month, we're finding ourselves increasingly isolated at home, and it's kinda depressing. We long for the days when people used to just 'drop by' and the home was filled with people. How can we shake things up and make our apartment more social? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2015 - 18 answers

You CAN sit with us.

Growing up, my family moved every few years and I was constantly a "new kid" navigating unfamiliar social situations. Although as an adult I now have many great friendships, I have an almost compulsive desire to be inclusive and not exclude others. I have a pattern of befriending people who say they are lonely and then feeling responsible for making them not feel lonely. How can I be compassionate to lonely people without reliving my childhood anxiety? [more inside]
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto on Feb 20, 2015 - 13 answers

How do I get myself out of this rut?

I’m in a rut. I focus so hard on what I dislike about myself and my situation that I can’t motivate myself to get out of it. How do I stop dwelling on these things? How do I start? Lots of self-centered complaints inside. [more inside]
posted by The Man Who Wore the Sock on Feb 13, 2015 - 23 answers

I give up.

I can't understand people at all and I don't know how to handle this anymore. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2014 - 20 answers

What if I just don't fit in with people?

I have the sneaking suspicion that I was born in the wrong place (or planet), and I want to come to terms with the loneliness that sometimes creeps in. Please help? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by The Shonky Shop on Dec 28, 2014 - 14 answers

have I made a horrible mistake

I just moved to a new apartment in a different town and I hate it. Have I made a mistake? How do I cope and feel better about this? [more inside]
posted by thereemix on Dec 17, 2014 - 26 answers

How do I get used to being single?

I've been out of a relationship for over a month and I'm running into trouble reconciling with the single status. It doesn't help that the ex seems to be moving along well. How do I reconcile with the feeling that I'm completely isolated? [more inside]
posted by skippingcharades on Nov 25, 2014 - 16 answers

Healthy ways to avoid the hurt of loneliness.

How do I safely navigate through life without having to succumb to loneliness? Is it possible? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Sep 28, 2014 - 9 answers

Feeling depressed, lonely, aimless - need help figuring out my life

I'm at a point where I just don't know what to do - I feel hopeless, aimless, and lost; I feel like there's little hope for my life getting better, and that I'll spend the rest of my life alone, just doing... nothing meaningful. I need help. [more inside]
posted by nightdoctress on Sep 21, 2014 - 28 answers

How do I form stronger friendships and cope during a PhD transition?

Why would someone have a hard time getting people to want to be friends with him, yet be great at listening to people talk about deep personal issues? Is my personality "intense" in ways that amount to immaturity--and if it is, how do I hold onto my idealistic, nonconformist streak without coming across as a jerk or a child with it? And how do I deal with all of this while keeping my career in academia afloat? [more inside]
posted by urufu on Sep 4, 2014 - 19 answers

How can I make life more stimulating and beat an Internet addiction?

I'm underemployed, have so many hobbies and interests that I can't decide which to pursue, and friends who are usually too busy to hang out very often. All of this makes my day-to-day life incredibly dull, so I usually end up online...all day. My room doesn't get cleaned, my laundry doesn't get done, my clients grow unhappy, and sometimes I forget to eat, but at least my brain has something to do. [more inside]
posted by oogenesis on Sep 4, 2014 - 16 answers

Needed: One Pair Of Big Girl Pants ASAP

I am one of those adults who had to emotionally take care of myself throughout my life due to mediocre parenting. Mom and Dad weren't hugely abusive, but they didn't seem to give a fuck about my brother and I. I'm coming out of a month where I went off my meds and I think I had a hypomanic episode followed by a giant crash. While I am now back on my meds and working with my therapist and pdoc, I am craving someone in my life who would take care of me emotionally. Someone who would understand where I was coming from and why I feel the way I do. The thing is, I do live in reality and know that's not possible for the immediate foreseeable future, if ever. What can I do to self-soothe and give myself that pampered feeling? How do I find someone who gets me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 13 answers

How do I get out of this alive? Should I bother?

I'm an isolated mess of a person and not sure how I will get out of it at this age. If you've ever been this isolated or hit rock bottom and made it out, how did you do it, particularly if it happened to you after 35? [more inside]
posted by katherant on Jul 10, 2014 - 45 answers

Stranger in a strange land

I am lonely and alone in a different country. How can I be okay with being alone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2014 - 13 answers

Solitude 101.

Solitude, isolation, introversion...how to be happy with related life choices and what to watch out for. Advice? [more inside]
posted by Caskeum on Apr 22, 2014 - 29 answers

Dating while depressed?

Due to various life happenings, I am not in a great place mindset-wise and have more than a tinge of depression. I am also more than ever rather lonely, and would like a partner. I worry that subconsciously I am looking for someone to help "fix" and take care of me during this depression, which is not the best reason to date and would be unfair to whatever partner I might find. Then again, this loneliness could very well be contributing to my depression. Would it be a bad idea to date under these circumstances? Has anyone dated while depressed with positive results? Or should I wait until I am in a better frame of mind to search for a partner?
posted by CottonCandyCapers on Jan 29, 2014 - 14 answers

Help me close the door on this infatuation..

I act like an idiot around this person. I need to stop and salvage my dignity. [more inside]
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune on Dec 4, 2013 - 14 answers

Lifeless in Palo Alto.

Six months ago I moved from Maryland to the Bay Area to start a new life in tech. I knew no one here before moving. The weather here is wonderful. I live and work in Palo Alto at a startup-y job with long hours. I am often pretty dang miserable outside of work. How can I have more fun day to day? [more inside]
posted by Nomyte on Dec 4, 2013 - 20 answers

Are lust and loneliness always bad counselors?

I (30) am occasionally tutoring a girl (20) who seems to have some (undiagnosed) learning disability. Yesterday, she dropped me some hints that she might be attracted to me. I find her physically attractive too, but I realize that, on paper, we are not a good match. The differences in terms of education and prospects are considerable. She is a dropout trying to return to high school, she also assists her sister at a modest beauty parlor, I am a nerdy graduate student. As a long-time single, it is probably mainly lust and loneliness which is encouraging me to consider suggesting meeting outside tutoring time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 34 answers

Overwhelming need for intimacy.

I've been really lonely the past year or two, and it's been very overwhelming how much I've missed being with someone. I romanticize women I come across and it always leads to disappointment. How do I stop doing this? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Nov 4, 2013 - 18 answers

Overcoming loneliness...

I've been dependent for most of my life, and I now find myself in a situation where I'm completely alone for huge spans of time. It's depressing. How can I overcome this? Any good resources, means to helping? [more inside]
posted by MMALR on Oct 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Does happy lifelong singledom exist?

At 30 and after almost a decade of being unable to click with anyone at a romantic level, I'm starting to consider the possibility of my having to live as a single for the rest of the journey. Not that I plan to quit trying in the near future, but given the poor results so far, I am trying to imagine and anticipate what perpetual singledom may be, especially as one grows older. My questions are related to the possibilities for happiness, fulfillment and emotional stability while chronically single. Are they real? Do you think a person can be alone all his/her life and have a meaningful and fulfilling life? I have a clear sense of what sort of contributions I want to try to make to my environment and society, but I wonder if this purpose will be enough to keep my life motivation burning as I get older supposing that I do stay alone. [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Sep 29, 2013 - 23 answers

Guess vs Ask, grieving edition

Dealing with grief, unsure how to ask friends for support, if at all. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2013 - 13 answers

Suppose you're never going to have any friends for the rest of your life

I have no friends. I have no reason to believe I'll ever have any friends. Is it even possible to have a worthwhile life? [more inside]
posted by dekathelon on Aug 23, 2013 - 164 answers

Talk to me!

I have a job that currently bores me greatly, with lots of down time during the day. A coworker and I started texting during our workday recently, and I find it entertains me and passes the time, in addition to pushing a few of my other buttons. Unfortunately this relationship has gone a bit sour so I'm looking for a similar situation and I'm wondering if there's an easy solution. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2013 - 11 answers

How To Keep My Morale Up When I've Never Had Any Type Of Relationship

How can I cope with the weight of being single pretty much my whole life (29 years old) - it's wearing me down and killing my self esteem. A few snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 27, 2013 - 19 answers

How can you tell whether or not your problems are self-created?

You know when someone is complaining about something and the reason for their trouble is SUPER OBVIOUS? Like when a guy you've just met moans, "Why don't I have a girlfriend?" and in his next breath makes a joke about domestic violence? Or when your friend confides that she can't meet anyone in a new city, yet nixes Meetup groups or clubs? Or when your coworker is constantly sick and blames it on germs in the office, when he's been pulling all-nighters and subsisting on Cheetos for the last month? [more inside]
posted by whenbynowandtreebyleaf on Jul 12, 2013 - 20 answers

I feel lonely

I've moved to Tokyo a couple of months ago for grad school and while I love it, I was suddenly overcome by a wave of severe loneliness and homesickness last week, and it won't go away. Also, when I came here, I finally found a boyfriend (I was single for the first 24 years of my life), but lately, he just makes me feel lonelier than I already am... [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Jul 8, 2013 - 31 answers

How do extroverts deal with unexpected alone time?

I'm an extrovert. I can't stand alone time. At all. This may be due to a recent falling out with a few friends making me feel lonelier than usual - I don't know. But recently any large gaps of alone time has made me feel incredibly depressed, often to the point of tears. Extroverts, how do you handle being alone? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jun 30, 2013 - 19 answers

Loneliness and OKCupid, part 2

A few weeks ago I, a hetero male in his early 30s, asked about dating and using OKCupid with some restrictions: no kids, no religion, no alcohol being the main ones. This is a follow-up to that AskMe, but going beyond OKCupid. [more inside]
posted by moonlit walk on the sun on Jun 8, 2013 - 70 answers

Isolation, Linguistically & Socially: the 4 Year Edition.

This past late March marked four years of living in Quebec. It has also marked more or less four years of isolation. This needs to change. A myriad of snowflakes within. [more inside]
posted by Kitteh on Jun 4, 2013 - 28 answers

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - A time for solitude?

Is there a time to be alone/ How to feel like life is meaningful when I am mostly alone? [more inside]
posted by ichomp on May 21, 2013 - 13 answers

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