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après moi, le déluge

I'm in the process of entering a huge and long overdue stage of transition in my life, which is guaranteed to make me miserable for the next 2-3+ years in addition to costing me thousands of dollars. (Whee!) Since I'm lucky enough to have advance notice before the proverbial trigger is pulled, I'm trying to put together tricks and treats to make the months ahead a bit less awful. When you're having a tough time and you know it's going to last for the indefinite future, what can you do to help soften the blows? [more inside]
posted by divined by radio on Oct 13, 2014 - 29 answers

Help me help my 11 year old brother grow up into an awesome person!

What can I do as his sister to help my brother grow up to an awesome person that's hardworking, successful, happy and responsible (and morally good) person. Also one who's educated and has a good amount of fun, worldly experiences. Right now I'm very afraid of him growing up and being a bad person destined for because because of all of the current situations in his life including the way he's being parented. [more inside]
posted by starlybri on Oct 10, 2014 - 14 answers

Challenges of measuring progress

What are good ideas how to measure progress towards life goals and future projects? [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Oct 8, 2014 - 11 answers

How true is this, really?

In your personal experience, how true are quotes like these? "In the end, we only regret the chances we did not take" or "Regret for the things we have done will be tempered by time. It is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Sep 16, 2014 - 34 answers

Moving across the country: good idea, bad idea, or BEST idea?

Following a series of personal crises, our protagonist contemplates relocating to a warmer, albeit cloudier, part of the world. [more inside]
posted by deathpanels on Sep 9, 2014 - 28 answers

How do I balance after-work activities?

How do I balance after-work activities? [more inside]
posted by joeyjoejoejr on Aug 27, 2014 - 9 answers

Looking for cultures out of place in America

So I'm trying to find examples of cultures/peoples/ethnicities/religions that are significantly dissimilar to the main city/culture/groups that surround them. Like finding a group of Amish people in Detroit. Or the one someone gave me of the significant Hasidic population in the scantily clad nightlife world of South Beach. What other current examples are there in the USA and Canada of unexpected groups in unexpected places?
posted by rileyray3000 on Aug 25, 2014 - 45 answers

How to deal with the anxiety of approaching my late 20s

Turning 27 - help me make the best of it. [more inside]
posted by tackypink on Aug 19, 2014 - 29 answers

Growing up, phase 2.

I finally have my act together, on a very basic level. What are the next steps to becoming a full-fledged adult? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 14, 2014 - 13 answers

I'm really good at...Nothing?

OKCupidfilter and beyond...How do I make me seem less boring? [more inside]
posted by Soap D. Spencer on Aug 5, 2014 - 30 answers

Life's Little Luxuries?

I'm looking to raise my game in all sorts of areas and seeking advice on the things you've invested time and money in that lift your life out of the ordinary... [more inside]
posted by Caskeum on Aug 2, 2014 - 44 answers

How does she do it?

What are the most effective ways to stay organized and get things done? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Aug 1, 2014 - 13 answers

Should I change my job and my country of residence?

I am facing a huge question that I don't know how to navigate and don't feel like I can talk to anyone about. The short story is that I have a precarious-feeling academic job in the Midwestern U.S. and applied for a job in an English-speaking country in the Southern Hemisphere. Today, I found out that I am on the short list for the job. And now I'm just not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2014 - 16 answers

My career is spiraling out of control... Please help! (Beware: Long)

So my career is kind of a disaster and I am not sure what to do about it. This is a bit of a wall of text (because I want to give a lot of context), so thanks to anyone who gets through it. [more inside]
posted by argentum on Jul 31, 2014 - 5 answers

There's no escape

Adrift, lonely and feeling hopeless. Advice would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Jul 28, 2014 - 14 answers

Trying to make a change in my life, but I don't know where to start?

I am in a weird phase of my life where I want to change some things. I have always been a rather antisocial person and for the first time ever I am dying to get out and be social. I am also wondering where I will end up and what my goals in life truly are. I also want to get healthier, eat better, be more productive. Truth is, I don't know where to start? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Jul 24, 2014 - 9 answers

I want to learn new life skills. Starting points?

I am looking to learn or become better at skills that would make life easier for me (fixing a car, cooking, DIY, things like that). To that end, I'd like to learn of some starting activities for various skills which could act as training wheels so I don't feel overwhelmed by all of the things there are to learn. Enjoyable hobbies (like chess, drawing, etc.) are more than welcome as well. An example of what I am looking for plus some extra details inside. [more inside]
posted by BuddyBoo on Jul 24, 2014 - 15 answers

Pregnant with first child, during a chaotic and stressful time

Due to an incredible amount of life changes (including marraige, move, new job and death of a parent) I have barely been able to do all the things you are supposed to do when you are pregnant with your first child. Due date is a little over am month away. On top of that I have gained too much weight and feel very uncomfortable, especially at work. My questions range from how do I make the next six weaks bearable (especially at my desk job) given I've outgrown my maternity clothes and feel really uncomfortable physically, to what are the top three things I must learn and/or have before baby arrives? [more inside]
posted by SanSebastien on Jul 14, 2014 - 52 answers

I'd love some book recommendations.

I'm in the mood to read a great book. Help me find some that are right up my alley. [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Jul 7, 2014 - 16 answers

How to deal with cards I have been dealt?

I was always a very high achiever but in my late teens, I was diagnosed with a debilitating chronic illness. I spent most of my 20s severely limited. In my mid 30s now and still struggling with the feeling that life is unfair. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2014 - 17 answers

Change & Drawing from Within

I was curious as to what others have done when they are not sure as to what they need to change to make their lives better? I am a big believer in therapy but it is also very problem oriented and can focus too much on deficits. I guess what I'm asking is how do you know what you need to change in your life? How do you know if you have fallen off the path of what you need to do in your life? [more inside]
posted by nidora on Jun 29, 2014 - 5 answers

Where is so much anger coming from?

Have you been in a similar situation with respect to anger? What helped? How did you identify where the anger is coming from? Were you able to resolve it? If so, how? [more inside]
posted by xm on Jun 25, 2014 - 31 answers

Navigating (Occasionally Crippling) Self-Doubt and Uncertainty

How did you deal with self-doubt and uncertainty after committing to a path you are not so sure will pan out? [more inside]
posted by tackypink on Jun 24, 2014 - 7 answers

Android tablet with best battery life?

My cheapo Android tablet finally gave up the ghost. I'm in the market for a new, nicer one and thought about getting the Nexus 7*. But searching around, it seems to have a lot of problems with battery life, even when on stand-by. I don't play games or watch videos or even listen to music much on a tablet. My main use case is reading and annotating pdf articles and books, especially when traveling (long flights) when battery life is kinda important. Are these battery life concerns for the Nexus 7 founded? Is there another Android** tablet that does better? [more inside]
posted by bluefly on Jun 14, 2014 - 15 answers

What’s the best suburb south of Philly for a single/late 30’s something?

I’m thinking about relocating for a job around Wilmington DE. My first thinking is to find a place to live somewhere between Wilmington & Philadelphia. The commute would be south to work, north for arts/culture and other nice things… [more inside]
posted by shimmer on Jun 12, 2014 - 12 answers

There has to be more than this

I periodically get overcome by a feeling of what I can only describe as existential angst. Almost as if I can see life stretching in front of me and it's just more of the same: the daily grind of work, housework, weekends that are never long enough. Never feeling like I've achieved enough or done all the things I should, but also feeling like there's never enough time for it all. And what's the point anyway? Not in a "life is so meaningless I wish I was dead" kind of way, but just this nagging feeling that there's supposed to be something more than this. [more inside]
posted by Athanassiel on Jun 9, 2014 - 39 answers

Modern life is bringing me down

Life has been really good to me, yet I feel unfulfilled in this endless cycle of daily routines. Am I expecting something unrealistic or is this a sign I need to change my lifestyle? [more inside]
posted by monologish on May 27, 2014 - 39 answers

Long term attention span.

I love complicated things. Games, books, writing detailed stories, hobbies like scrapbooking, and so forth. But I forget about whatever project and move on to something else to find 6 months later I will fiddle for two weeks and then promptly forget about it again. ARG. [more inside]
posted by AlexiaSky on May 24, 2014 - 8 answers

Finding purpose and choosing a life direction

I'm currently in a position where I can choose the direction I want my life to go in. What have you done to figure out what to do with your life? [more inside]
posted by markbao on May 22, 2014 - 10 answers

How do I Become a Product Manager / Implementation Specialist?

I recently met someone who is an Agile product manager, and he seems to have my dream job. I love meeting and talking to people, translating layman's speak and understanding into tech speak and vice versa, and I love an everchanging, fast-paced job where you actually *work.* How do I get into this? (Longsplaining background follows.) [more inside]
posted by traversionischaracter on May 1, 2014 - 13 answers

Inspirational quotes on the subject of moving forward in life.

I am designing a poster for a personal project on the subject of "always moving forward" and "taking the next step" – do you have any quotes that you live by on that subject? [more inside]
posted by stackhaus23 on Apr 28, 2014 - 18 answers

Help me find work-life balance as a recent college graduate.

I graduated college a year ago, and I'm having trouble acclimating to my new life. Plenty of special snowflake info inside, but I would love any tools or anecdotes about how your life changed after college. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Apr 25, 2014 - 46 answers

What Am I Good For? Hopefully Absolutely Something

So I did an aptitude test way back when, and the results were thus: *is good at short-term transactions, interactions, is creative and possesses superior verbal skills.*. [more inside]
posted by watercarrier on Apr 16, 2014 - 18 answers

Life check-in worksheets?

I have recently undergone a lot of change in my life - ended a long-term relationship, moved into a new place (previously lived with partner), quit a long-ish-term career (9 years including profession-specific study) and as a combination of the above, changing a lot of my social group. I think this is a sort of make-or-break crossroads time in my life - so would like to actively work on and question what I want to get out of my career/personal relationships. My therapist suggested doing "life check-ins" where I spend time thinking and writing down these things. Does anyone know of any "worksheets" that might give me some guidance to work with? Even a check-list would be helpful, but I'm envisioning maybe a list of questions. Google has brought up some options but I'm looking also for personal anecdata about what has worked for mefites. Thanks!
posted by nvly on Apr 13, 2014 - 6 answers

1.85% on 45k student loan - just pay the minimum?

So, I'm selling my house and will have some extra cash, finally. I have a consolidated student loan that after years of steady payments, has come down to a very low 1.85% interest rate. Given the current economic conditions, and an intense desire to have my money work hard for me after years of being in the doldrums, should I up the payment and try to save a tiny bit on interest? Or would it be better to stuff my IRA, or put money into a no-load fund or index? [more inside]
posted by ihavequestions on Apr 11, 2014 - 13 answers

Who would i hire to research a personal life? Literally.

So I'm trying to figure out who I would hire - theoretically - to do an index or census of a personal life. I want someone who would be able to look at a life (with consent) to study it. The person would follow a subject around to determine core friends/family/contacts on a daily basis and then do research based on relationships. Then they'd objectively drill down into some key data points. - How many of the people in my life up to one relationship away (aka my brother's good friends) are married or single and for how long - How many of my past relationships are single/married and for how long Beyond that maybe some polling on specific questions about the subject from those people. So who am I looking for here? Is it a Private Investigator? A sociologist? A statistician? A life coach? Is there someone in an "I Heart Huckabees" way that you hire to do this sort of thing? Is this already a job or service someone provides and I don't know the name?
posted by rileyray3000 on Apr 7, 2014 - 5 answers

Switching MA programs

I'm finishing my second semester of a MA program, and am realizing that I am not happy in this program and (most importantly) it isn't fulfilling my academic and professional needs. I have identified another MA program which I know would be a good fit for me, and am considering switching. Assuming money is no object here, would I be crazy to make the switch? [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Mar 31, 2014 - 7 answers

Is it depression if I'm legit sad?

My life overall is good. I want for very little in the way of material things, I have friends and lovers who are wonderful, I have fulfilling hobbies, I do meaningful volunteer and professional work, I live in my favorite place on earth, and I generally try to enjoy life to the fullest extent possible. But I also have a relationship that is secretly falling apart, body image issues directly related to the relationship problems, trouble finding enough work to be comfortably financially independent, parents on the other side of the country who are suffering in ways I cant do anything to help with, and a few other things going on that are legitimately upsetting. So when I have bouts of crushing sadness and feelings of hopelessness, I'm not surprised. But the bouts have been lasting longer and coming more frequently, and things feel more and more hopeless (not to the point of wanting to self-harm, but to the point of feeling like my only options are resign myself to this forever or leave everything I know and love and start over alone). Recently a friend asked me if I was depressed, and I had to stop and wonder. Could I be? Can depression co-exist with legitimate sources of sadness and despair? Should I consider seeking treatment for depression as well as figuring out how to resolve all this other crap?
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2014 - 21 answers

How do I get to know my parents as people?

After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Mar 26, 2014 - 21 answers

Nuts and dried fruit mixed?

Can nuts and dried fruit be mixed in a container with no decrease in quality or shelf life? [more inside]
posted by BillyAnne on Mar 8, 2014 - 7 answers

An Inspiring Mantra to Start My Morning?

Do you have a poem, quotation, or mantra you read each morning that puts things in perspective, and inspires you? I'm looking for one to help with motivation when waking up each morning. So far no luck. [more inside]
posted by ratherbethedevil on Mar 4, 2014 - 20 answers

I have a $33,000 dream. Plus or minus 10K.

I'd like to buy a home in a very cheap place that still has culture--local, regional, and national music. Museums, public attractions, parks. Bike friendly and/or walkable and/or good public transportation system. Great natural attractions nearby--hiking, rafting, kayaking, swimming, climbing, caving, hunting, fishing. Where is this possible? [more inside]
posted by jsturgill on Mar 4, 2014 - 44 answers

How to deal with difficult co-workers?

In December I started working for a mill that manufactures flour, and although most employees there are excellent and fun to work with, I am discovering that many of my immediate co-workers appear to sabotage others for their own benefit. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Mar 1, 2014 - 9 answers

Losing faith in idealism

I’ve realized that I’m starting to lose faith in idealism, perpetuated in part by instances where reality hasn't lived up to it, so I'm beginning to become more "realistic" about where the limits are. However, I’m worried that this leads to mediocrity. Has anyone dealt with this? [more inside]
posted by markbao on Feb 27, 2014 - 30 answers

How do I work out what to do next, without disrespecting my marriage.

Out of nowhere it seems, I’m considering asking my wife for a divorce and I can’t figure out if its because I met someone else I feel I’d really like to get to know or because I’ve realized that we just aren’t meant to be. Or am I just being a douche for even considering throwing away what I’m confident almost anyone would agree is a marriage to a great woman? Sorry for the long story… My wife is a great person – of course – why would you marry someone you didn’t think this about? The list is huge – she’s smart, funny, empathetic, gets me, is very beautiful and will one day I know make a really wonderful mother. I know most would say all of this about their spouse, but even with rational eyes, the above is true. She has bad points too for sure, but no need to list those off as well. We’ve only been married about 18 months, but together for some time before this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2014 - 58 answers

Connecting And Building A Mentor Relationship

I am currently in my late twenties finishing my degree in Information Technology. I live in a large city. I'm a sociable person. My question is, not working in the professional environment, how could I find a professional mentor? How do you recommend someone build such a relationship? Any ideas? .... There are industry related conferences within the area which I sometimes attend. Professors seem like an option. But what steps should I take to form such a relationship? Is it something you would ask for explicitly?.... I'd just like to thank the community in advance for your feedback. It's been something I'd like to do, but due to uncertainty in how to go about it I haven't. Thanks!
posted by Nicholas Geary on Feb 12, 2014 - 8 answers

Depressed & need inspiration.

I am a single mother, down in the dumps and looking for mefites for a lightbulb or maybe just a bone. I've been juggling my post-divorce financial mess, toxic workplace, toxic people all around, and I'm so tired and exhausted, I just know my six-year old and I need to be somewhere where the atmosphere is more laid back with better quality of life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 9, 2014 - 13 answers

Calling all Freelance/Paycheck couples...(wall o text, sorry!)

How do you budget? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2014 - 8 answers

Help me, help myself?

How to approach therapy when I'm not really sure what I'm going for but feel depression has a huge part of it. Kicker - the standard tests show I'm not and I don't know how far to push to get some help or what I even need help for. [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Jan 29, 2014 - 9 answers

LivingFilter: Western Town, Outdoorsy Girl

After living the nomadic life for many years, I'm starting to think about settling down again. Search criteria inside. [more inside]
posted by grinagog on Jan 29, 2014 - 24 answers

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