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Got the Italian Girlfriend Blues...

letsgomendel — Thu, 09 May 2013 08:47:33 -0800

Any tips from Metafiltrati with latin/italian lady experience to make things calmer or more manageable? About 4 months ago my Italian gf moved in with me and since then we've gone through patches of insane arguments and peace and loving tranquility.

The main gripes seem to be: my seeming "lack of passion", her not feeling "at home" in my house because I say things like "would you mind not putting chicken carcasses in the compost" and various other random things I don't quite understand where they've come from. The other dispiriting thing is that when she does get annoyed about things it's just one thing after another which becomes totally deflating.

I'm a pretty calm English dude and the things she gets mad at seem to be quite unreasonable, but then I get mad when she extends these seemingly unimportant things out for hours and hours. I've learnt Italian since being with her and I've spent a few years in Latin countries in Europe so I'm not completely unfamiliar with their way of doing things, I just don't think I've got it right. The good bits are enough to make me want to persevere, but the bad bits are just doing me in. She seems to be able to switch on an off this angry mode but it leaves me messed up for hours as I'm totally not used to this kind of lovers conflict!

Before I decide enough is enough, I'd like to do my best to be able to make things work. Any tips dudes/dudesses?

Etruscan resources

the man of twists and turns — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 13:49:57 -0800

I'm learning that many of the customs and traditions that I think of as Roman actually originated from the Etruscans instead. Can anyone recommend some good books, videos, or websites about ancient Etruscan culture and history?

Adult school in Italy, July

Yayita — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 06:21:04 -0800

Any recommendations for a school for an adult woman over 50 in Italy this July? Language and or art and or music and or cooking. Florence? elsewhere? Michelangelo school in Florence?

What books should I read about historical Rome and Venice?

garlic — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 11:27:54 -0800

I'm looking for books about Italy, specifically Rome and Venice, and also books set in Rome and/or Venice. What would you recommend? When I was in Paris in 2007, I was reading The Three Musketeers by Dumas at the same time. It was pretty cool to be reading about the musketeers playing tennis 4 blocks from where my hotel was, and it made the experience much richer. So now that I'm going to Rome and Venice, I'd like to do the same while there -- reading something during downtimes set in the city I'm visiting, set in the cities heyday. Since this is a downtime sort of read, I'd like it to focus on the entertainment aspect over the educational aspect.

And when I was thinking about how to find that sort of book, I realized that I have more general french cultural knowledge through studies and Dumas and Hugo so I'd be a good idea to get a more historical educational book about the realities of Rome while the empire was there, and history after that probably up to the Rennaisance, so a book or two about Roman and Venetian history that I can finish before my trip (Sep 18) would be helpful too.

Bowlers in Bolivia and Peru

tellurian — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 21:30:01 -0800

There are two different stories about how bowler hats came to Bolivia and Peru. I'm looking for some original sources for the stories that bowler hats are "worn by Quechua and Aymara women in Peru and Bolivia since the 1920's when supposedly a shipment of bowler hats was sent from Europe to Bolivia via Peru for use by Europeans who were working on the construction of the railroad. The hats were found to be too small and were distributed to locals." -OR- It is a result of an over-order and an enterprising salesman who supposedly convinced them that the wearing of the hats would increase their fertility.

Your ideas for nontraditional, off the beaten path, interesting, insightful things to do or see in or close to Venice, Florence, and Rome, Italy?

Askr — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 08:13:54 -0800

What are your favorite nontraditional, nontouristy, alternative, culturally-insightful things to do in or near Venice, Florence, and Rome? I mean the deeper anthropological kind of culture, not museums, opera, etc. I'm not looking for the usual must-see tourist destinations or the things that epitomize a city. I want the fascinating little finds you accidentally stumbled on and loved, but which few or no tours would have found because they aren't "sights". If it can give me a glimpse of how contemporary Italians see the world, to appreciate a bit more what it's like to be them, that's a turbo bonus. No points off for plain old fun activities either. I've read every Italy thread on here and haven't quite found what I'm after. My parents invited me on a guided package tour of Venice, Florence, and Rome next week and the following week. Italy's not high on my list of travel destinations and I'm not a package tour kind of guy at all, but it's free, foreign, and family, so I'm going and am sure I'll have a good time. I'd like your help in reducing that touristy malaise feeling and replacing some of it with interesting insights and experiences.

There is a lot of the usual museum/monument time on the itinerary. I'm not a museum/monument kind of guy. Paintings paintings paintings, churches, aaagh! Don't care! Don't wanna take all the same obligatory pictures everyone has taken for a century or follow a guide around the whole time as they tell me about this or that set of ruins. For me, travel is about learning about how the world looks through other cultures' eyes. I know some of this can be informed by their history or past cultural products such as art or architecture, but what I want is to get glimpses of what life is like for ordinary people there right now to the degree I can in a very short time - what their big issues are, what their worldview is and how it differs from mine. Optimism, cynicism, assumptions, prejudices, filters, priorities, norms, oddities. A guided package tour of sights is not a great way to do this but it's what I have to work with.

So I want to break away from the tour group at least once per city and go do my own thing - - interesting, educational, insightful, off the beaten path kinds of things, especially any that help me understand what life is like for normal contemporary Italians. I don't want to see sights (I'll already see plenty, e.g. David, Sistine, etc.); What I want is some hint of contemporary cultural anthropology. It could be anything - some interesting local custom, some political event, some unique civic activity, some un-famous piece of history that influences the present in a fascinating way, some cultural fixture (e.g., I wish there were some soccer games during my stay). What have you found in or near these three places that was your special find that people wouldn't normally find on a tour, and which enriched your experience and understanding of Italy and Italians?

One hurdle is that I speak almost no Italian, not having planned to go there. So it would need to be something observable absent language or there would need to be English speakers or literature, a tall order. Below is the itinerary, including what I'm considering skipping. There are a fair number of free afternoons and evenings built in. What is nearby that's not on this list, that you loved, that isn't a "sight" but was a great find? Not looking for restaurant/bar recommendations unless they happen to deliver what I'm looking for. If you don't have anything in the sort of cultural anthro insight category, yeah, just list anything fun or interesting or unusual that's not a major tourist sight. For example I keep seeing recommendations to go to Siena near Florence. But why? What do people like about it?

No need to focus on these knowns in your reply:
-This is a very short time to develop any real cultural insight
-Art and architecture and ruins and history are important
-Don't discount what you can learn from quality guides
-Not speaking Italian limits your options

Grazie!

Itinerary:

Nov 12-14: Venice
-backstreets walking tour (also planning on "getting lost")
-St. Mark's Basilica & Doges' Palace
-Accademia art museum. SKIP THIS
-a free afternoon
-2 free evenings and 1 planned dinner

Nov 15-17: Florence
-Accademia Gallery w/ David
-"Renaissance walk" - Duomo, Baptistery, etc. SKIP ONE OF THESE TWO
-Oltrarno area - walk/talk re Roman, medieval and 19th century Florence. SKIP ONE OF THESE TWO
-Uffizi art museum. MAYBE POP IN FOR AN HOUR OR TWO. (I know it's huge)
-2 free afternoons
-2 free evenings and 1 planned dinner

Nov 18-20: Rome
-Vatican Museum, Sistine, St. Peter's.
-Some free time in Vatican area for crypt, dome, whatever.
-Forum, Colosseum, Pantheon
-Free afternoon near area of Palatine ruins, Mamertine prison, etc.
-A few free hours in heart of city
-Evening stroll through historic heart of city.
-2 planned dinners and 1 free evening
.