So, like many people, when I need a break at my desk I tend to look for something mindless on the Internet. I'm trying to get out of the habit of defaulting to fashion and beauty forums, which I like because they're low-effort, have pretty things to look at, and tend not to get me worked up about politics or whatever, but hate because I get the impulse to buy things I don't need. It's not causing a financial problem but I just don't want my time-wasters to lead to a shopping spree. [more inside]
You are future me. You used to self-sabotage your healthy intentions after shitty days by eating weird, crappy foods. No disordered eating or thinking, just zero self control and a feeling of 'fuck the plan, I'm sad and I deserve to feel better'. What did you successfully replace the weird crappy foods with to give you the same 'comfort blanket' feeling without the sabotage? [more inside]
I picked up Stuck: Why We Can't (or Won't) Move On by Anneli Rufus on a whim, but can’t finish it as it is truly awful in every way. Now I’d like to read a book on the same subject that doesn’t suck, actually addresses the subject, and doesn’t resemble the comments section of an internet article. There must be a million books about getting stuck in ruts, changing habits and such, any recommendations?
There are so many things I want to change about myself, and I don't know where to start. [more inside]
I grew up in an abusive family. I haven’t spoken to my brother in forever. I plan to communicate minimally with my parents in the future. But this isn’t about them. It’s about the fact that I deal with friendships a little strangely. I tend to cut close friends out of my life abruptly. [more inside]
My Christmas present to myself is six months of a health coach who is also a registered dietitian. I recently fell in love with The Power of Habit. I would like suggestions on how to maximize the next six months to build healthy habits that will net real health and fitness changes now and stick with me over the years. [more inside]
First of all: I don't think this is a capital-p Problem with alcohol. I just like it--specifically wine--a lot, and I have some vague sense that I should cut down or stop. Much of this has to do with the fact that my partner is a recovering alcoholic and doesn't drink at all, so I have some guilt with my dinnertime glass even as he says he doesn't mind. I know, intellectually, that alcohol is bad, mmkay, but that knowledge does nothing for my decision-making. [more inside]
I frequently get hangnails. I understand that the main treatment is not to pick at them and the main prevention is to keep your cuticles moisturised. I have questions about how to make these things happen. [more inside]
I'd like to develop a post-work habit or ritual for as soon as I arrive home. Something that will send a signal to my brain that "work is over, and now you're home." What habits, rituals or environmental changes have worked well for you?
I would like to begin my day with yoga/exercise and/or meditation, followed by a mindful walk through my "getting ready for work" routine. Instead, I stare at Facebook for 45 minutes and then flail around like a nut, invariably running out the door 5-10 minutes late. This is stupid. Have you solved a similar problem? Can you help? More inside. [more inside]
There are tons of suggestions on how to stop nail-biting on metafilter, but they all seem to coincide with the idea that to stop a compulsive habit, one must replace it with another habit. [more inside]
What's the most inspiring New Year's Resolution/habit change/life change you've witness in friends and family or even yourself (it's OK to brag)? This year I want to push myself to try new things after stagnating a bit and I'm looking for inspiration!
I have a lot of bad habits, should I try to change one at a time or all at once? [more inside]
They say you should kick a bad habit to the curb by replacing it with a good one. Well, what should that be? Let's say it should be something you can do at a desk to replace a bad Internet-related compulsion. It should preferably be something straightforward but productive that (eventually) makes you feel like you've accomplished something of value, not just a useless "tic" (so, something more meaningful than pen-spinning or card shuffling, but not something overly complex that will be given up on). Any suggestions?
I will enter a master's program in Fall 2015 in the humanities. I want to use the next year to become as prepared as possible. [more inside]
What small steps/actions do you take to increase your daily happiness/contentment? I'm interested in practices that can be easily adopted in a full life of work, exercise, home & health care.
I love drinking tea, especially the unique international varieties I have collected in my travels. But there are too many steps to making tea -- get water, put in pot, heat pot, wait for pot to boil, open cabinet, put bag in mug, etc. -- so I never think to do it. Are you a tea drinker? What rituals, storage trays, and methods can I use to speed up the process? And how can I display my tea in the kitchen (without taking up too much space) instead of hiding it in a cabinet? [more inside]
Lately I notice that I've been slipping into some unhealthy vices.... [more inside]
My flatmate has certain eating habits that could be negatively influencing my own, but of course it's not my place to comment on her eating habits. It's stressful. What can I do? [more inside]
I am a diagnosed ADHD inattentive type (comorbid with anxiety and major depression) who has WAY too many personal pursuits, hobbies and interests. For this reason, I often feel overwhelmed and end up starting but not finishing (or continuing to seriously pursue) many of them. This cyclical behavior makes me anxious and miserable, and it fuels my procrastination tendencies. Occasionally, I will get a jolt of enthusiasm that helps me start a project and finish it, but this is really no different than any of my other impulsive behavior that is, ultimately, inconsistent rather than disciplined and habitual. I often beat myself up and tell myself I'm a failure because I do so few of the things that I talk or think about doing. I also beat myself up (less often, but enough that it's cause for concern) even when I *do* start and finish a project/pursuit - the reason being that I still didn't get all of the OTHER things done. How do I choose one or two things to really focus on deeply, and accept and be happy with those choices? How do I stop letting myself get caught up in the allure of "everything else"? [more inside]
My spouse's mother, a senior citizen, just learned this year that she has heart failure. She survived multiple heart surgeries recently, a harrowing process during which she said she never wants to go through that again. Great! We assumed this meant that she was seeing this as a wakeup call to change her eating/exercise habits and stress levels so that she could get healthier. Several weeks later, it turns out that she is going back to all the old habits that helped contribute to heart disease in the first place. Is there any hope for her changing her deeply-ingrained habits? If so, what can my spouse do from afar to help support mom? If there isn't any hope for her adjusting her lifestyle, then how can we learn to accept her choices and still give her the support she needs? [more inside]
The recent general knowledge says you can use gamification to instill new habits, rewarding yourself for actions taken. But are there any strategies for instilling habits of *not doing* something? How can you reward something you haven't done? [more inside]
Are there people with no vices? Is it possible to switch one vice for another? [more inside]
There are about a zillion goal-tracking and habit-forming apps out there with a bit of gamification ingrained in them. Which are great? [more inside]
I'd like examples of traits/personality types/habits/behaviors wherein most people fall into two or three "camps", none of whom are generally aware of the existence of the other(s). "Ask Vs. Guess Culture" and "Sit Vs. Stand to Wipe?" are two examples (a LOT of people are absolutely gobsmacked when they learn that Asking and/or Standing is not only an option, but a POPULAR option). I'm NOT interested in predefined typologies (e.g. the MBTI or Buzzfeedy "What Garden Implement Are You?" kinda stuff)... just ones that, 1. Arise kinda organically, 2. Involve Group A and Group B people frequently being unaware of one another's existence.
Has anyone conquered the overwhelming task of personal and life goal setting and tracking? I just got a Tools4Wisdom weekly planner and I don't know where to start. Specifically I'm looking for a simplification and breakdown of making this process a new long term habit. I think that someone who has been there and done that who could share their insights on how they made it manageable will be really helpful. I've looked at some websites on this but it's too much data to process. I guess I'm looking for a dumbing down of some sort based on personal experiences.
Having finished, and loved, The Good House by Ann Leary, I'm interested in other novels where addictions, problems, obsessions or bad habits affect the (unreliable?) narrator as part of their character rather than the main plot theme. [more inside]
former chronic procrastinators, reformed flighty people, etc.: What's the #1 change you've made to improve your organizational and time management skills? (new mantra or mindset? taking a course? etc) [more inside]
How can I learn to be a bit more empathetic? [more inside]
I've kind of started to implement htid's excellent advice regarding breaking depression-based habits, but I don't have a good way to keep track of my goals. So, what's a good way for me to keep track of how many times I've done multiple different tasks? Paper and pencil doesn't really work for me. Something I can do on my iPhone would be best. [more inside]
I don't floss regularly, and I want to. I just can't seem to get over the hump and really do it every day. Please hope me. Did you develop a habit because you felt like you really had to but sorta didn't really care? How? Bonus: I seem to not form habits (or at least this one) very easily. People say that thing about doing something for 21 days and then it's a habit? Not so much. I can very easily fall off the wagon with flossing after months. I have floss I like, so I don't think that's going to be the answer.
How can I gamify the tedious parts of my day? [more inside]
There are tons of "Don't Break The Chain"-style motivation tools in the iOS App Store and online, but I'm having trouble finding one with a feature I find essential: the ability to skip days on the fly without breaking your streak. [more inside]
Do you know about any researchers studying human behavior with regard to motivation, habits, and goal-setting, or books/papers about those topics?
Do you know about any researchers studying human behavior with regard to motivation, habits, and goal-setting, or books/papers about those topics? [more inside]
What strategies do you employ in your relationship to rebuild closeness in your long-term relationship/marriage?
Some weeks/months, you feel closer to your partner. Other weeks/months, not as much. Time and the natural course of things usually propel the cycle back around – is there anything you can do to hasten the process? What strategies do you employ in your relationship to rebuild closeness in your long-term relationship/marriage? [more inside]
Transform-my-life filter: looking for "good habits" to build into my life. [more inside]
If I wrote down all the witty/funny/odd/insightful things that cross my mind all day long, I'd have tons of ideas for creative projects. The problem: I'm missing the part of my brain that says "Hey, write that down!" [more inside]
I need more sleep and I have the means. But I don't seem to want to, you know, actually sleep. What gives? [more inside]
I am a messy person who doesn't like to clean. Should I put more effort in being cleaner, or just accept this part of myself and get over the guilt? How? Or is this a psychological problem? Or maybe it's normal. [more inside]
This is for my mom. "Luke, baby i keep, ten months old, keeps spitting/blowing for lack of a better word, his food out. he is still on baby food plus a little table food. does it to both of them. does it to his mom too. what can we do about it? Will you ask people you know with babies about this situation? not fun."
I need to stop fidgeting. How? Help! [more inside]
How can I stop messing with my cuticles and nails? I don't want sad-looking hands forever! [more inside]
The guy I am dating has unusual tendencies, is this a part of his ADD? Or his quirkiness? How should I approach the subject? [more inside]
I'm looking for a PC desktop widget that will track my progress towards various goals. [more inside]
Help me understand and get over my extreme repulsion to certain human sounds. [more inside]
I'm freeing up two hours a day in my schedule, and thinking about my mortality. In the next five years I'd like to spend that 3,600 hours to get really good at something in the area of music, art or programming, or some combination thereof. Which areas are most likely to show dramatic improvement with 3,000 hours of practice? [more inside]
What did you do without removing your tonsils that helped reduce the frequency of your bouts of tonsillitis? [more inside]
I am a 27 year old girl and I'm still living like a teenager or college student. I have no adult habits and put absolutely no effort into taking care of myself. I don't understand how I got this way or how other people my age have transformed into real adults. I don't even know what I'm asking.. I guess I need help figuring out how to develop good habits, how to take care of myself, and hear from people that have experienced this same problem. [more inside]
What can I do to my office to help keep me calm, focused, and motivated? [more inside]