Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with Gifts and party

Wedding shower etiquette in NYC

Neely O'Hara — Wed, 02 May 2012 09:00:33 -0800

We've been invited to a wedding brunch/shower at a restaurant in NYC and I've already RSVP'd that we're attending - should I be expecting that we have to pay for our meal? My boyfriend and I were invited to a wedding brunch for friends of mine who are getting married next month, thrown by the sister of one of the grooms. (It wasn't specifically identified as a shower, but there was registry information printed on the invitations, so I'm assuming that it is a shower.)

I also assumed that since it was a shower, hosted by my friend's sister, with official invitations that went out in the mail, that the food would be paid for by the hosts, as that's how every shower I've ever been to operated. But I've only ever been to wedding or baby showers in the suburbs, held at people's homes or rental halls - never at a restaurant. And after reading this thread, I'm getting nervous that I'm misunderstanding the invitation and we're going to wind up having to pay for our meals. I'm not cheap, but money is really tight right now and I've already paid hundreds of dollars toward the wedding since it's out of town.

So now I'm tempted to buy a less-expensive shower gift just in case we have to pay for the meals, but I would hate to show up with a meager gift if it turns out we won't have the expense. I just don't know how to politely find out if we have to pay or not. I've met the sister, but only a few times, and I wouldn't be comfortable calling her to ask. I only know one other person who is attending the shower and she doesn't know any more about it than I do. It's a surprise shower for the grooms, so I can't ask them either.

Also, if I do need to get a less expensive gift, how tacky is it to buy something like one serving utensil or one wine glass out of a dozen?

Thanks for any advice!

The $100 gift

dynamiiiite — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 12:30:08 -0800

The most awesome $100 gift you can think of. My company has a $100 game of white elephant at our annual holiday party. The bringer of the gift that gets stolen the most wins $100.

I'm not too concerned with the prize, but I would like to impress with "my" ingenuity, particularly as I've been at the company for a few years and see the same types of gifts being foisted on the same resigned recipients year after year.

So, what's the most interesting/creative BUT generally appealing gifts for adults costing approximately $100 that you guys can come up with?!

Suggestions for a Book of Memories?

aqsakal — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:42:57 -0800

Grateful for inspirational suggestions for a contribution to a "Book of Memories" for my brother's golden wedding anniversary. My elder brother celebrates his golden wedding in November, and his three super kids have organised the party. My wife and I will travel there for a long weekend. The kids specifically said "No gifts, but please provide a contribution to the Book of Memories we are compiling" (suggesting pictures or a text).
Trouble is, although I love my brother and sister-in-law dearly, we have virtually no shared memories. He worked abroad while I was growing up, then I worked abroad when he moved back to our home country; as a result, we've seen each other for perhaps a total of two weeks over the past 50 years. Despite long and cordial email correspondence (including a lot of very helpful financial advice on his part), it would be fair (but brutal) to say we hardly know each other. A 12-year age gap doesn't help. And as our parents were divorced, he was more of an uncle- or father-figure to me than the way I imagine most brothers are (that is, on an equal rather than a guide/pupil footing).
Can any kind MeFite help me overcome what is rapidly turning into paralysed panic as the party day nears?

Birthday party favour ideas for kids under 8

yawper — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 10:16:40 -0800

Birthday party favour ideas for kids under 8? I’m planning a party for my 5-year-old daughter. There will be about 18 girls and boys ranging in age from 4-8. What can I give them as party favours? I like to give one useful item rather than a goody bag filled with trinkets. I don’t want to spend more than $4 per favour. In the past I’ve given jigsaw puzzles, jump ropes, balls, Hot Wheels, and Polly Pockets. We are hosting this party at a pretty pricey indoor playground, and I need to save where I can. But I do want to send the kids home with favours. I can get different favours for the girls and boys, but the average price should work out to $4 CDN or less.

Books are an option, but I don’t know where I could get nice-quality books for that price (and several of the same quantity).

I’m considering crayons and colouring books – but will those work for the 8 year olds?

Any other suggestions are welcome. The party is in 2 weeks, so I may have time to order online. Also, I’m fairly crafty so making the favours is not out of the question.

Please help us make our Oscars/Housewarming Party a success!

iamkimiam — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 11:45:48 -0800

Need help planning a themed Oscars/Housewarming Party! Here are a couple areas we're having trouble with:

The theme: Currently thinking about doing a "Make Yourselves at Home & Roll Your Own Theme!" party, where people can dress up in whatever theme they want, based on whatever they feel like. I would like to incorporate prizes (but what kind?), both relating to theme and to the Oscars. Does anybody have a better idea? What details can we incorporate to make this kickass?

Mixed company: We have a lot of friends, all ages, all ilks. I'm not that good with interacting with people in groups. How can I help ease the awkwardness I have and make sure everybody is having a good time?

Housewarming Ettiquette: My boyfriend and I have never had or been to a housewarming party. Do we fill out a gift registry for this (ex. Target)? Do we even expect gifts? How long to people generally stay? What are housewarming parties all about? What are we expected to provide?

Neighbors: Do we invite them? I'd feel awful not doing so, especially since I'll likely warn them about a long day/night of noise. If they come, do I introduce them to everyone, or just let them come in and fend for themselves and leave when alienated? This is a social minefield that makes me want to call the whole thing off.

Other stuff...our place is small, parking is limited, we have 2 hypoallergenic indoor pets, no shoes allowed on carpet, cats are toilet trained and so toilet seats must stay up...how do we tell people all this without seeming neurotic as all getout?

Baby, baby, how was I supposed to know

GardenGal — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:16:10 -0800

My first baby shower is tomorrow... what do I do? How do these things work? I've got three baby showers coming up (one for each workplace and one for friends) that other people asked to plan for me. My first is tomorrow and the organizer hasn't contacted me to give me any details other than the time and place. Here's the catch - I've never been to a baby shower before, and have no idea what actually goes on in them. I don't want to appear clueless in front of my coworkers!

I'm planning on bringing something like banana bread (it is supposed to be a potluck), but is there anything else I should be bringing? Or doing?

I am fairly reserved and actually really dislike getting gifts except from close friends (though I love giving them). It makes me feel very awkward, though I try to be gracious and enthusiastic. On top of that, I don't know many of these people's names (except for about 6 of them, we work in different buildings) and am afraid I won't be able to thank them properly, especially with everyone else looking on. Is it expected that you open your gifts at a baby shower, or is it okay if you set them aside to open in private? If you have to open them in front of people, what do you do if you get two of the same thing?

I will most likely be expected to give some sort of speech, at least at the work parties. I'm afraid I'll forget to say something really important. Is there anything I should absolutely not forget to say other than thanking the organizer and the attendees?

I'm sure there's stuff I've forgotten to ask simply because I don't know what to expect. Suggestions? Anecdotes? Please help me be gracious and confident!

And please also pardon the Britney Spears title reference... it won't happen again. -grin-