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Need help getting over my fear of intimate friendships

I have fear of intimacy issues - how do i overcome them? I'm currently a 33 year old male. I was pretty unpopular when i was in middle and high school - i was a particularly awkward kid and i often got rejected when trying to make new friends or invite people to things. I spent much of high school feeling particularly lonely or alone and isolated. Though the adult world is different, i'm still carrying these same fears and it's been terrible to my social and personal life. What are the best steps to work out of these? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 1, 2014 - 7 answers

I need help bringing a messy, inappropriate friendship to a close

A relationship with a friend has spiraled out of control. I have to bring it to an end, and I'm not sure how to go about it. I need advice. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2014 - 46 answers

Apologetic about success?

What I do in terms of career/projects/desire are all one and the same. And I'm lucky enough to be paid to do what I love, and I continue to do it. It just so happens that lately, within the past year or so, I've been especially "successful". But much of my friends/acquaintances are not really in a similar position, which makes me feel guilty/weird about sharing what's going on in my life. I feel apologetic about my so-called "success", which leads me to under-share about myself. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2014 - 8 answers

A friendship worth strengthening?

A longtime casual friend, that many of my other friends dislike, is moving to my city and expecting us to become much closer friends. However, I don't feel particularly close to this person, our conversations have always been kind of awkward and I'm uncertain we can ever have the close friendship he wants. Should I give it a chance? Is it worth it? How do I handle this situation without hurting anyones feelings? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2014 - 22 answers

How can I talk with my friend about his dating life given our history?

I have a very good friend who I spend time with on a regular basis. In recent history (and maybe probably for the foreseeable future) he has been depressed about his dating life, so naturally, it is a subject that comes up and I discuss it with him. However, given our past history together, it's been a really hard subject for me to discuss with him and I would like some help navigating this from the hivemind. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2013 - 11 answers

Old feuds, new friends, ultimatums and a sticky social situation. How do I navigate this stupid fight that precedes me?

Old feuds, new friends, ultimatums and a sticky social situation. How do I navigate this stupid fight that precedes me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2012 - 24 answers

don't call me (for a while), I'll call you (eventually)

What are some socially acceptable ways to "drop out" socially for 6 months or so? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2012 - 12 answers

Typical mid-20's crap.

I feel unbelievably shitty after a close friend hurt my feelings. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2011 - 35 answers

This really won't let me go. Please be my internet friends and counsel me.

How do you deal with a bad social experience that cannot leave you alone for years? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2011 - 57 answers

My friend vs. the guy I am seeing

I screwed up, and realized too late that my friend is in love with the guy I am seeing. We're not serious. Should I stop seeing him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 7, 2011 - 45 answers

How to let down someone who has a crush on me?

She has a crush on me. I don't feel the same way about her. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 19, 2011 - 19 answers

How do you decide what to share? Challenge: Asperger Syndrome

How do you decide what to share with others? I am a 28-year-old woman with Asperger Syndrome, and my biggest hurdle is figuring out what sorts of things are appropriate to share with others. So far in my life, I have erred too much on the side of caution, and I regret that I have missed out on great friendships just because I can't pick up on signals and I constantly feel like I'm wasting peoples' time even when they assure me I am not. I would like to get better at sharing on social media in particular, but I find myself totally paralyzed trying to decide what's worthy of sharing with others. I need help and advice on how to improve this crucial social skill. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2011 - 27 answers

Social Skills Training/Behavior Therapy in NYC?

I need to improve my social and relationship skills. Can anyone recommend a behavior therapist in NYC who does social skill training and takes Empire Blue Cross/Blue Shield? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2011 - 3 answers

[whine filter] How do I deal with burnt bridges gracefully?

I'm bad at letting things that need to die die. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2011 - 21 answers

Are meaningful relationships the meaning of life?

Do most people feel the need for permanent, intense connections with other people? Am I abnormal in my need? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2010 - 40 answers

How do I move on when I broke all the break up 'rules'?

Another break up: maybe it is a special snow flake. You know how almost everyone tells you the no contact rule after a break up? Well, I didn't follow that. I need your help [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 12, 2010 - 26 answers

Why have I not heard back?

How much more effort do I put in before giving up (relationship advice)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2010 - 21 answers

Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice and Lions and Tigers and Bears and Hot Tubs and Hairy Chests and Press-On Nails...

Some now-former friends have decided to jump into polyamory as a solution to a big mess of relationship crazy. I think this is a terrible, terrible idea, for reasons specific to both the couple and polyamory as a whole. But how do I discuss this with them (and others) without sliding down the slippery slope of defining what other types of relationships are "right" or "wrong"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 26, 2010 - 50 answers

I think my fear of fake relationships might be stopping me from having real relationships - help?

Why am I so scared that people are trying to trick me/use me? Is this something you really need to be on guard against all the time or is it irrational thinking? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 6, 2010 - 23 answers

How do I stop having hatecrushes?

How do I stop having hatecrushes? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 18, 2009 - 31 answers

Should I amend my personality to make more friends or, "be me" and have fewer friends?

Should I amend my personality to make more friends, or "be me" and have fewer friends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 12, 2009 - 39 answers

Friends don't stress friends out!

How do you extricate yourself from a family-oriented friendship? Very long and pathetic story to follow. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2009 - 28 answers

fear of intimacy with friendships

How do i get over my fear of intimacy in friendships, and actually let myself get into close friendships and not push people away? Help me sort out my problems with intimacy and social anxiety, and fix it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2009 - 8 answers

I was told, "Let other people bless you." How?

"Why do you do that? Stop it. Let other people bless you. You're always supporting others, why don't you let others show support for you?" This is what a co-worker said to me today when scolding me about my not wanting to have a promotion luncheon and moving to another area. This has happened like three times in as many years. After many excuses, I finally conceded to her "I don't know." [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2009 - 11 answers

How do I stop being afraid of women?

How do I, a lesbian woman, get over my fear of women? Ever since I was little I have had trouble making friends with women and it cripples my dating and friendship options. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2009 - 24 answers

How do deal with a jealous spouse?

How do you deal with a spouse who is jealous of your friendships and family relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 10, 2008 - 50 answers

How do I matter more to others?

Is it really true that the more you do for others, the closer you will become? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2008 - 13 answers

Internet Friends. I'm having a hard time letting go.

I'm at a point in my life where I have to break off some friendships I've made online and am finding it tough. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2007 - 17 answers

You met online. You got married. Some friends know. Other people you lied to but are now close to them too...How to handle?

What do you do if you met online, got married, and completely told your close friends how it happened BUT didn't tell other people? In fact, you lied, declaring you were set up by friends. You thought the other people would be passing acquantainces but they became much closer friends..... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 28, 2006 - 25 answers

Approaching Another Couple

My girlfriend and I are friends with another couple whom we'd like to become, er, more intimate with. Unfortunately, they, like us, are very reserved, and don't tend to talk about sex, so we have no idea how to begin to broach the subject. The friendship is very important to us, and we don't want to ruin it. What should we do?
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2005 - 38 answers

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