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Ending friendship like a grown-up

I’d like to get some outside opinions on managing the probable end of a friendship with a formerly very close friend, without (any more) melodrama or middle-school emotional antics. I will definitely see her at a mutual friend’s birthday in a couple of months, and I may see her infrequently (e.g. a few times a year) on an ongoing basis. [more inside]
posted by Kpele on Jul 21, 2014 - 28 answers

Hello, darkness, my friend! (and guilt, and the bar exam)

The bar exam is in 3 weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt I'm not studying enough. Guilt I'm not researching and writing briefs for work fast enough. And tremendous guilt that I've been a straight-up asshole with my family and friends. I'm not good at this balancing act. [more inside]
posted by chloe.gelsomino on Jul 3, 2014 - 17 answers

Roommate Troubles: Should I bother keeping in touch.

I've made my roommate's life kinda shit the entire school year. Should I just get out of her life, or try to keep in touch in case I become a better person? [more inside]
posted by bluekazoo on May 12, 2014 - 14 answers

Is it normal for your friends to make snide comments about your SO?

I've lost 2 different friends because I've asked them to stop making snide remarks about someone I was dating. It makes me wonder if this is normal in friendships and I should just suck it up? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jan 19, 2014 - 36 answers

A careless Facebook friend request has caused some larger problems

Hey guys, help me resolve this awkward situation that started with a Facebook friend request and has now blown up out of proportion. [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on Sep 16, 2013 - 39 answers

Hey, Extroverts!

This is a question for the extroverts, the popular, those who play well with others and the possessors of good people skills. What do you know about meeting people, making friends and relationships (both platonic and romantic) that others might not? [more inside]
posted by the hot hot side of randy on Aug 9, 2013 - 37 answers

How can I talk with my friend about his dating life given our history?

I have a very good friend who I spend time with on a regular basis. In recent history (and maybe probably for the foreseeable future) he has been depressed about his dating life, so naturally, it is a subject that comes up and I discuss it with him. However, given our past history together, it's been a really hard subject for me to discuss with him and I would like some help navigating this from the hivemind. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2013 - 11 answers

Help settle a debate about a friend who ALWAYS flakes.

Friend Ay always looks forward to meeting Friend Bee. But Friend Bee changes her plans at the last minute at least 25% of the time. THIS time, however, Friend Ay was leaving to a different city to be with his ill grandfather. It may be a 4 day trip if the grandfather got better, and an unknown length of time had he passed away. Ay/Bee made a plan to meet up the night before Ay's flight. Bee didn't inform Ay that she was canceling the plan. They did not meet. Ay was livid. This had happened far too frequently, and the uncertainty of the duration of the trip made it all the worse. Bee profusely apologized; she realized the least she could have done is call and tell him. Upon Ay's return, he met up with some other friends and saved up some time for Bee to meet him afterward. But Bee had already made tentative plans with someone else, a coworker she sees every day. Ay INSISTED that Bee cancel her plans with Cee; they'll see each other again tomorrow at work anyway and can resume their fun on any other night. Bee responded by saying that she can't cancel fixed plans with someone else, even though that was exactly what she had done to Ay earlier in the week. Bee canceled on Ay, but would not cancel on Cee, even though Ay really wanted to talk. [more inside]
posted by smersh on Apr 1, 2013 - 54 answers

Hooking Up with Friends - An Beginner's Primer

I have a lot of female friends. Lately, a number of them have begun giving me romantic vibes. I have never dated a friend in my entire life - I have often become friends with people I dated, but never the other way around. How do I pursue this type of thing? (Snowflake details inside.) [more inside]
posted by wolfdreams01 on Jan 2, 2013 - 25 answers

I AM NOT YOUR OWL

I am tired of being the owl for my friends and family. How do I get them to talk to *each other* instead of *me*? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 25, 2012 - 11 answers

How To Use this Big Change/Trip in My Life To Practise Social Skills/Build More Intimate Relationships?

I'm a 20 year old girl who has had little experience with real romantic relationships. I also have trouble with friendships---though I am super extroverted and can mix and mingle in parties with ease, creating sustainable friendships is very difficult for me. I'll be going on exchange in France for 5-6 months in January. I'd like to practise and build intimate friendships and romantic relationships (short-term, but meaningful!) when I'm there, and try to get a handle on WHY I usually have trouble. How can I do this? More deets inside. [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Oct 22, 2012 - 18 answers

Thrown away

My ex-lover and "best friend" blocked me on Facebook and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. [more inside]
posted by girlmightlive on Oct 8, 2012 - 37 answers

Alone after an obsessive relationship, having trouble making friends in a sea of the elderly...

How do I make friends in an unfriendly place for young folks (18-20), and how can I make him believe that I've made changes to myself? [more inside]
posted by orchidgenes on Oct 6, 2012 - 13 answers

True friendship sometimes means letting go

Tell me about situations where you've reluctantly cut off contact with a close friend, family member, or confidant -- especially those in which the relationship was good to you but you felt that letting go was the best move for *their* sake. [more inside]
posted by renovatio1 on May 27, 2012 - 9 answers

Old feuds, new friends, ultimatums and a sticky social situation. How do I navigate this stupid fight that precedes me?

Old feuds, new friends, ultimatums and a sticky social situation. How do I navigate this stupid fight that precedes me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2012 - 24 answers

Connect the dots (or, people..)

How do you connect with people? How do you reach out to someone you're interested in getting to know better to let them know you're interested in them as a person (with or without romantic potential). I suffer from a bit of social anxiety and shyness so I tend to feel extremely awkward in approaching opportunities for one-on-one interaction. [more inside]
posted by myShanon on Jan 9, 2012 - 19 answers

Typical mid-20's crap.

I feel unbelievably shitty after a close friend hurt my feelings. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2011 - 35 answers

I have no idea how to summarize this.

Help me interpret my situation and figure out the practical implications of the social advice/philosophies that my friends have been giving me about it. (Warning: a super long and arguably dramatic story awaits you.) [more inside]
posted by Conspire on Nov 4, 2011 - 38 answers

How to let down someone who has a crush on me?

She has a crush on me. I don't feel the same way about her. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 19, 2011 - 19 answers

Is it okay to surprise my best friend at the airport?

Would it be inappropriate to surprise your best friend at the airport who has been on a long international flight? She'll be arriving alone in Abu Dhabi from Toronto this evening. We haven't seen each other in about five months. See further details below: [more inside]
posted by thatgirl1985 on Aug 26, 2011 - 19 answers

Tough decision: life abroad vs. staying at home

Fellow expats: Need some advice! Weighing the travel/stability/benefits of my current career choice vs. the personal costs of a transient expat lifestyle [more inside]
posted by photo guy on Jun 20, 2011 - 33 answers

Social Skills Training/Behavior Therapy in NYC?

I need to improve my social and relationship skills. Can anyone recommend a behavior therapist in NYC who does social skill training and takes Empire Blue Cross/Blue Shield? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2011 - 3 answers

[whine filter] How do I deal with burnt bridges gracefully?

I'm bad at letting things that need to die die. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2011 - 21 answers

Are meaningful relationships the meaning of life?

Do most people feel the need for permanent, intense connections with other people? Am I abnormal in my need? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2010 - 40 answers

How do I move on when I broke all the break up 'rules'?

Another break up: maybe it is a special snow flake. You know how almost everyone tells you the no contact rule after a break up? Well, I didn't follow that. I need your help [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 12, 2010 - 26 answers

Why have I not heard back?

How much more effort do I put in before giving up (relationship advice)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2010 - 21 answers

Did she take the easy way out?

Did she just take the easy way out or am I just that guy? About 8 months ago I started talking to a girl I have known for many years. She is 7 years younger than me and I never noticed her until boom she magically grew up. I always thought she was a loser ( hung around with the wrong crowd made bad choices). We began talking every so often then it turned into a daily ritual txt, fb, and phone call situation once she got rid of her BF. I slowly began to develop feelings and we started hangin out when.... [more inside]
posted by SleeveHearted on Jul 2, 2010 - 36 answers

Are close, one-on-one, opposite-sex friendships a good idea?

Are close, one-on-one, opposite-sex friendships a good idea; or is the risk of one-sided romantic feelings and other problems too great? [more inside]
posted by dogcat on May 6, 2010 - 34 answers

Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice and Lions and Tigers and Bears and Hot Tubs and Hairy Chests and Press-On Nails...

Some now-former friends have decided to jump into polyamory as a solution to a big mess of relationship crazy. I think this is a terrible, terrible idea, for reasons specific to both the couple and polyamory as a whole. But how do I discuss this with them (and others) without sliding down the slippery slope of defining what other types of relationships are "right" or "wrong"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 26, 2010 - 50 answers

Eulogy for a friendship

Relationship Filter: How do you know, and what do you do, when a 25+ year friendship may have reached it's logical end? Novella length setup: [more inside]
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet on Apr 20, 2010 - 32 answers

I think my fear of fake relationships might be stopping me from having real relationships - help?

Why am I so scared that people are trying to trick me/use me? Is this something you really need to be on guard against all the time or is it irrational thinking? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 6, 2010 - 23 answers

Is this friendship worth saving?

FriendshipFilter: Should I give up on this friendship? I am female and I've been good friends with my next-door neighbor from my first year of college since then. We haven't lived in the same place since college, but we've been quite close since then. However, we've been having trouble connecting. [more inside]
posted by mrstrotsky on Jan 5, 2010 - 9 answers

Men: "Nice shoes!" (trans: let's fuck!) Women: "Nice shoes!" (trans: let's be friends!)

Previously dated men, now wants to date women. Problem: I can't tell when women are interested in me or if they just want to be friends. [more inside]
posted by Eleutherios on Oct 13, 2009 - 17 answers

fear of intimacy with friendships

How do i get over my fear of intimacy in friendships, and actually let myself get into close friendships and not push people away? Help me sort out my problems with intimacy and social anxiety, and fix it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2009 - 8 answers

I was told, "Let other people bless you." How?

"Why do you do that? Stop it. Let other people bless you. You're always supporting others, why don't you let others show support for you?" This is what a co-worker said to me today when scolding me about my not wanting to have a promotion luncheon and moving to another area. This has happened like three times in as many years. After many excuses, I finally conceded to her "I don't know." [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2009 - 11 answers

How an a grown-up learn social skills?

Are there any decent guides to improving your social skills? Most of what I've found on the topic deals with children, formal etiquette, or the standard self-help cant. Is there anything for people interested in the nuts and bolts of building relationships, giving off a good impression, and making people think you are a good guy. I get the idea that most people with bad social skills tend not to care or notice and this hurts the market for such material. I have a pretty good eye for books and I have found precious little on this topic. I assume we are supposed to learn these things in childhood or be screwed for life. [more inside]
posted by Yakuman on Feb 6, 2009 - 16 answers

Child without bedtime interrupting adult evenings

How can we get our friends to put their 4 year old to bed so we can have grown up evenings together? [more inside]
posted by lilyflower on Jan 18, 2009 - 45 answers

How to cope after breaking up with a BFF of 10 yrs?

I feel like I made the right decision in breaking up with my (jealous) BFF of 10 yrs - but I still feel guilty over it? Also, what to do about mutual friends and any advice on coping? [more inside]
posted by urbanchic on Jan 18, 2009 - 22 answers

How do I matter more to others?

Is it really true that the more you do for others, the closer you will become? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2008 - 13 answers

Can I be friends with husband's team's spouses?

Is it possible for the wife of a CEO (me) to be good friends with the wives of my husband's management team spouses? We socialize a few times per year and I always sort of feel guarded with them. I like many of them a lot and would like them as friends. Part of me sees it as not a good idea though? Would it compromise my husbands relationships at work? Might there be trust and confidentiality issues? Maybe it is just about how close I get to them? Keeping boundaries as far as what we talk about? Staying away from talk about the company? Would I be able to share important things going on in my life or will it become company gossip---and spread like wildfire? Anyone here have experience with this?
posted by seekingsimplicity on Feb 7, 2008 - 10 answers

Portrayals of friendship and social circles in books, movies, or essays

Can you recommend books, movies, or essays with good portrayals of friendships or people's social circles? [more inside]
posted by salvia on Jan 27, 2008 - 30 answers

Why can't I have normal friendships?

Why do I feel this way? I apologize for the length of this. This is a desperate attempt to get some understanding around a problem that has plagued me for years. What follows is a chronological account of things. The way it looks to me? I simply can't have friends. [more inside]
posted by tcv on Jul 6, 2007 - 45 answers

I can't go a whole day without offending someone.

I can't go a whole day without offending someone. Should I be true to myself or please you? [more inside]
posted by Xurando on Dec 13, 2005 - 90 answers

Approaching Another Couple

My girlfriend and I are friends with another couple whom we'd like to become, er, more intimate with. Unfortunately, they, like us, are very reserved, and don't tend to talk about sex, so we have no idea how to begin to broach the subject. The friendship is very important to us, and we don't want to ruin it. What should we do?
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2005 - 38 answers

Friendship with an Ex?

Friendship with an Ex? (added wrinkle: 17 year age difference, and of course, more inside) [more inside]
posted by amberglow on Oct 22, 2004 - 16 answers

Can someone's standing be vitiated by honesty?

Can someone's standing be vitiated by honesty? For example, telling someone they are fat and need to lose weight? [more inside]
posted by the fire you left me on Aug 29, 2004 - 33 answers

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