120 posts tagged with Friendships.
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Setting boundaries re my friends' love lives

When is it appropriate to set a boundary regarding how much time you spend dealing with your friends’ romantic turmoil? And how do you set healthy boundaries? I’m not referring to things like supporting a friend through a breakup, but, rather, more ongoing situations. More inside. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Oct 6, 2015 - 15 answers

What's a normal way to navigate friendships?

I feel as though I have a lot of trouble navigating friendships with same way other people do. More specifically, I feel as though my normal is not anyone else's normal vis-a-vis level of contact, time commitments, etc. How do I address this? Lots of snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by O Sock My Sock on Jul 29, 2015 - 25 answers

Can this friendship be saved?

I e-mailed a friend of 8 years recently, saying I'd be in the area and asking if she wanted to get a drink. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2015 - 25 answers

Do I tell my friend that her husband left her to date a former student?

Should I tell her what my ex-friend is up to? If so, how should I tell her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2015 - 31 answers

Am I hurting myself in the long run, or being a good friend?

I have posted some questions before about my first relationship and would like to get some advice on whether friendship is even the right thing now. I've had conflicted feelings the entire 5 1/2 years I've known this person, and am wondering what is the right thing to do? He says he needs my support because he finally came out but could we be friends or are we going to keep hurting each other? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on May 14, 2015 - 19 answers

I am jealous of my friend.

I am very jealous of a friend I've known for ten years. Mostly, it seems like he has an easy and fun life, and he doesn't have to deal with the problems that keep me down (like chronic health worries). I also feel like he takes a lot of his privileges for granted; he doesn't understand why I don't just travel internationally all summer. Plus I think he can be a bit spoiled; I've seen him pout when one thing goes wrong out of dozens that go really great. My trouble right now is that all of the stuff I just mentioned makes it hard for me to talk to him and/or remember the things I like about him. I want to be able to put the jealousy and resentment aside and just be friends. I know I mostly need to keep working on my own self-confidence and enriching my own life. That said, what do you think the best ways are to navigate this friendship right now in terms of how I interact with him?
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2015 - 18 answers

there's no place like home unless you haven't gone one

I'm looking for comforting words and concrete advice on going through the growing pains of finding where I belong. Of course there are special snowflake details. [more inside]
posted by quadrant seasons on Apr 11, 2015 - 7 answers

Politely tell former co-worker I'm not interested in staying friends?

I left a job recently, and there's a former co-worker who keeps contacting me. [more inside]
posted by arbor day on Mar 21, 2015 - 34 answers

Kindly telling someone you're not interested in a closer friendship?

How can you politely tell an acquaintance or casual friend that you don't want to be better friends, when they apparently can't take a hint, and you know you'll continue to see them? [more inside]
posted by aldebaran on Mar 19, 2015 - 48 answers

Fix my life

It seems like there's something about my personality that doesn't inspire affection in other people or the desire to be around me more than once. This makes me feel sad because I like people, feel affection for them and want to be around them. What do I do now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2015 - 43 answers

In search of red and yellow flags for new relationships

Is there something I should I be on the lookout for if I am dating a new guy with (a lot of) close female friends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2014 - 19 answers

How can I stop fretting about standard communications with friends?

I spend way too much time worrying about the way my friends communicate with me -- specifically, I worry that any delay in response time means that they're angry or annoyed with me, or, even more dramatically, that they don't want me around anymore. I wonder if there are any good ways to talk myself out of this. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by holborne on Nov 10, 2014 - 10 answers

Need help getting over my fear of intimate friendships

I have fear of intimacy issues - how do i overcome them? I'm currently a 33 year old male. I was pretty unpopular when i was in middle and high school - i was a particularly awkward kid and i often got rejected when trying to make new friends or invite people to things. I spent much of high school feeling particularly lonely or alone and isolated. Though the adult world is different, i'm still carrying these same fears and it's been terrible to my social and personal life. What are the best steps to work out of these? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 1, 2014 - 7 answers

I need help bringing a messy, inappropriate friendship to a close

A relationship with a friend has spiraled out of control. I have to bring it to an end, and I'm not sure how to go about it. I need advice. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2014 - 46 answers

Apologetic about success?

What I do in terms of career/projects/desire are all one and the same. And I'm lucky enough to be paid to do what I love, and I continue to do it. It just so happens that lately, within the past year or so, I've been especially "successful". But much of my friends/acquaintances are not really in a similar position, which makes me feel guilty/weird about sharing what's going on in my life. I feel apologetic about my so-called "success", which leads me to under-share about myself. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2014 - 8 answers

A friendship worth strengthening?

A longtime casual friend, that many of my other friends dislike, is moving to my city and expecting us to become much closer friends. However, I don't feel particularly close to this person, our conversations have always been kind of awkward and I'm uncertain we can ever have the close friendship he wants. Should I give it a chance? Is it worth it? How do I handle this situation without hurting anyones feelings? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2014 - 22 answers

Having difficulty making friends in the area

I'm wondering why I had a much easier time making friends in the last area where I lived than I have had in this area. I think it has to do with the way social media has changed, but I'm not sure that's the whole story. I've asked myself what gives. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by tckma on Jul 29, 2014 - 14 answers

Ending friendship like a grown-up

I’d like to get some outside opinions on managing the probable end of a friendship with a formerly very close friend, without (any more) melodrama or middle-school emotional antics. I will definitely see her at a mutual friend’s birthday in a couple of months, and I may see her infrequently (e.g. a few times a year) on an ongoing basis. [more inside]
posted by Kpele on Jul 21, 2014 - 28 answers

Hello, darkness, my friend! (and guilt, and the bar exam)

The bar exam is in 3 weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt I'm not studying enough. Guilt I'm not researching and writing briefs for work fast enough. And tremendous guilt that I've been a straight-up asshole with my family and friends. I'm not good at this balancing act. [more inside]
posted by chloe.gelsomino on Jul 3, 2014 - 17 answers

Roommate Troubles: Should I bother keeping in touch.

I've made my roommate's life kinda shit the entire school year. Should I just get out of her life, or try to keep in touch in case I become a better person? [more inside]
posted by bluekazoo on May 12, 2014 - 14 answers

Please can I join your sisterhood?

I'm pretty uncomfortable bonding with girls - are there any rules or tips or unspoken etiquette that I should be aware of? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on May 2, 2014 - 33 answers

You don't usually come to these things...

Want to rejoin the herd at my University hall! Any tips on doing this without seeming awkward and desperate? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Apr 22, 2014 - 7 answers

Is it normal for your friends to make snide comments about your SO?

I've lost 2 different friends because I've asked them to stop making snide remarks about someone I was dating. It makes me wonder if this is normal in friendships and I should just suck it up? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jan 19, 2014 - 36 answers

Depressed & lonely; obviously the solution is to make myself lonelier!

I had a significant depressive period earlier this year. I'm climbing out if it now, but I'm awkwardly reticent and hung-up about telling anyone about my issues. My closest friends don't know or have been told a generic, "It was just a hard semester for me" story. But I feel so isolated and acutely lonely when I stumble and have a few bad days again, and I'd like to be able to reach out to friends. I don't want to engage in destructive isolation and have this unnecessary martyr complex, and need advice on how to open up and ask for/accept support. [more inside]
posted by Sudo on Dec 30, 2013 - 13 answers

How can I help my friend come out to play with baby around?

I've only seen my best friend outside of his house twice this year. He and his wife have a 15-month-old baby boy, and they ignore, decline or don't make it to every social engagement because the baby might cry, or the baby is sleeping. They've all but stopped communicating with me. Help me understand why this is so hard for them, and if there is there any advice I can use or pass on that can help? [more inside]
posted by cogat on Dec 27, 2013 - 55 answers

how to maintain depth as well as breadth of friendships?

I have a good life - good community, friends, lots of different communities in different interest areas as well as geographically in the town i live in. I try to maintain involvement with a lot of different communities because I feel that learning broadly from a lot of people (and a lot of different types of thinking, experiences, backgrounds) is really important. But I'm worried that the depth of my friendships may be suffering. How have some of you folks balanced broad networks (professional, personal, interest-based, geographical) with keeping them deep as well. [more inside]
posted by waylaid on Dec 15, 2013 - 12 answers

Making friends out of communities

How do I turn people I am in communities with into friends? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Nov 28, 2013 - 9 answers

Maintaining healthy friendships while struggling with a mental illness.

Trying to figure out how to manage both a mental illness and a set friendships at the same time - balance between opening the can of worms that thoughts of a depressed mind can be and closing in, keeping things to myself appears to be incedibly hard to strike, and being unable to figure it out for 4 years now has been costing me plenty of sleepless nights and otherwise good friendships along the way. All input appreciated; more backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by 9080 on Oct 16, 2013 - 6 answers

Avoiding friendships over attraction

Is avoiding friendships if you are attracted to that person a bad thing? [more inside]
posted by raintree on Sep 21, 2013 - 10 answers

A careless Facebook friend request has caused some larger problems

Hey guys, help me resolve this awkward situation that started with a Facebook friend request and has now blown up out of proportion. [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on Sep 16, 2013 - 39 answers

Let's be F.R.I.E.N.D.S!

What can I do to bond with my roomates? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Sep 11, 2013 - 13 answers

Hey, Extroverts!

This is a question for the extroverts, the popular, those who play well with others and the possessors of good people skills. What do you know about meeting people, making friends and relationships (both platonic and romantic) that others might not? [more inside]
posted by the hot hot side of randy on Aug 9, 2013 - 37 answers

How can I talk with my friend about his dating life given our history?

I have a very good friend who I spend time with on a regular basis. In recent history (and maybe probably for the foreseeable future) he has been depressed about his dating life, so naturally, it is a subject that comes up and I discuss it with him. However, given our past history together, it's been a really hard subject for me to discuss with him and I would like some help navigating this from the hivemind. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2013 - 11 answers

Should I continue being friends with this person? Warning:I ramble...

I am wondering if I should continue a friendship with a woman I met on our old job almost 20 years ago. Some background: we're both in our 40's, married, and have children. We live in different cities, my family moved from our hometown 14 years ago. I work outside the home, she is a sahm since she had her first child. We have corresponded mostly by e-mail, facebook, text message over the years. When we both worked we would literally "talk" via e-mail the entire day. We have been there for each other through some really serious stuff, i.e. marital problems, deaths, pregnancies, illnesses. [more inside]
posted by getyourlife on Apr 27, 2013 - 21 answers

Help settle a debate about a friend who ALWAYS flakes.

Friend Ay always looks forward to meeting Friend Bee. But Friend Bee changes her plans at the last minute at least 25% of the time. THIS time, however, Friend Ay was leaving to a different city to be with his ill grandfather. It may be a 4 day trip if the grandfather got better, and an unknown length of time had he passed away. Ay/Bee made a plan to meet up the night before Ay's flight. Bee didn't inform Ay that she was canceling the plan. They did not meet. Ay was livid. This had happened far too frequently, and the uncertainty of the duration of the trip made it all the worse. Bee profusely apologized; she realized the least she could have done is call and tell him. Upon Ay's return, he met up with some other friends and saved up some time for Bee to meet him afterward. But Bee had already made tentative plans with someone else, a coworker she sees every day. Ay INSISTED that Bee cancel her plans with Cee; they'll see each other again tomorrow at work anyway and can resume their fun on any other night. Bee responded by saying that she can't cancel fixed plans with someone else, even though that was exactly what she had done to Ay earlier in the week. Bee canceled on Ay, but would not cancel on Cee, even though Ay really wanted to talk. [more inside]
posted by smersh on Apr 1, 2013 - 54 answers

Pursuing a Platonic Friendship

So I am in an extended academic program meaning almost all of my friends have graduated and moved on and I know only a handful of people in my current city. I have always been very shy and since the departure of my friends I have been making every effort to be a more social, friendly, and outgoing person. I have been doing an OK job but sometimes stumble as I feel very awkward initiating friendships of either sex and I really need help with this one. [more inside]
posted by Valkyrie21 on Mar 31, 2013 - 7 answers

What should I do about this friend who has cut me off?

What should I do about a friend who has apparently cut me off for no reason. We are both in our late 20's/early 30's. [more inside]
posted by Butterflye1010 on Mar 26, 2013 - 35 answers

How do I build a support system?

Hey mefites, how did you build up your friendship group and support system? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Feb 20, 2013 - 11 answers

Friends, money and jealousy.

I have a few new couple acquaintances that are on their way to becoming friends. Here's the trouble. As I get to know them more, i realize that there is a common thread about most of them. They are all quite pre-occupied with "how do i make more money" in life. [more inside]
posted by gadget_gal on Jan 27, 2013 - 11 answers

Advice on dealing with feelings of loneliness and paranoia

I'm having a hard time dealing with feelings of profound loneliness and paranoia about the states of friendships which in turn affect my dreams and my moods (being a vivid dreamer) and I don't like the affect it has on my happiness. Is there any good literature or advice that you can give to help me conquer these feelings and appreciate what I have in my friends or branch out to finding others? Any communication advice to being clear with friends and alleviating my paranoia without insulting them or sounding weird? [more inside]
posted by Recca on Jan 22, 2013 - 6 answers

Russian female bonding vs. American female bonding

How do Russian female friendships differ from American female friendships? [more inside]
posted by akka on Jan 7, 2013 - 9 answers

Hooking Up with Friends - An Beginner's Primer

I have a lot of female friends. Lately, a number of them have begun giving me romantic vibes. I have never dated a friend in my entire life - I have often become friends with people I dated, but never the other way around. How do I pursue this type of thing? (Snowflake details inside.) [more inside]
posted by wolfdreams01 on Jan 2, 2013 - 25 answers


I am tired of being the owl for my friends and family. How do I get them to talk to *each other* instead of *me*? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 25, 2012 - 11 answers

Romance with old friend

I've recently been through some major life changes and find myself feeling strong romantic feelings for an old friend, former co-worker. I fear acting on my feelings because I don't want to jeopardize our platonic friendship which, at my age (65) is precious. I worry that even talking about my change in feelings for this woman might ruin our friendship. I'm not certain that she has reciprocal feelings for me, although I think she might. We are very compatible in most regards, intellectually, shared interests and activities, etc. And the friendship just as it is is rare and cherished. Should I 'confess' and risk what we have, or accept it for what it is and look elsewhere for the intimacy I seek? As might be obvioius, I have limited experience in physical (sexual) and emotionally-close relationships.
posted by NorthCoastCafe on Dec 3, 2012 - 10 answers

How To Use this Big Change/Trip in My Life To Practise Social Skills/Build More Intimate Relationships?

I'm a 20 year old girl who has had little experience with real romantic relationships. I also have trouble with friendships---though I am super extroverted and can mix and mingle in parties with ease, creating sustainable friendships is very difficult for me. I'll be going on exchange in France for 5-6 months in January. I'd like to practise and build intimate friendships and romantic relationships (short-term, but meaningful!) when I'm there, and try to get a handle on WHY I usually have trouble. How can I do this? More deets inside. [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Oct 22, 2012 - 18 answers

Thrown away

My ex-lover and "best friend" blocked me on Facebook and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. [more inside]
posted by girlmightlive on Oct 8, 2012 - 37 answers

Alone after an obsessive relationship, having trouble making friends in a sea of the elderly...

How do I make friends in an unfriendly place for young folks (18-20), and how can I make him believe that I've made changes to myself? [more inside]
posted by orchidgenes on Oct 6, 2012 - 13 answers

A little something to make me sweeter.

My social relationships start out as acquaintance with classmates, coworkers, and roommates. Then they progress to casual friendships, in which I hang out in bars and do small favors (help carry stuff, give rides). Then they stagnate or die. I have little in the way of family, so "chosen family" is an ideal that appeals to me a lot. Sadly, I have no one like that and things aren't moving in that direction at all. [more inside]
posted by Nomyte on Jun 24, 2012 - 42 answers

True friendship sometimes means letting go

Tell me about situations where you've reluctantly cut off contact with a close friend, family member, or confidant -- especially those in which the relationship was good to you but you felt that letting go was the best move for *their* sake. [more inside]
posted by renovatio1 on May 27, 2012 - 9 answers

Old feuds, new friends, ultimatums and a sticky social situation. How do I navigate this stupid fight that precedes me?

Old feuds, new friends, ultimatums and a sticky social situation. How do I navigate this stupid fight that precedes me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2012 - 24 answers

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