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1712 posts tagged with Family.
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Name/domain for private photo network for parents.

Please help me pick a name and domain for our website/app. We're a private network for parents to upload, backup and share their kids' pictures. [more inside]
posted by signal on Apr 14, 2013 - 1 answer

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents.

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

What happens when the family tree goes straight down?

Is there any discussion available of the social/behavior results of having multiple generations of only children in a family? Know of any sources? Have any personal experiences? [more inside]
posted by powerbumpkin on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

Moving Out Update: Making it work in Seattle & recovering from therapy

Hello Mefites, I am in the process of moving away from my abusive family (Previously: here and here). I've had a rough week, with my dad escalating his anger despite no provocation from me, which helped me make a lot of progress on moving out my things (discreetly) but I had a therapy session yesterday and I feel like my therapist has been screwing with my need to protect myself and get out. I was wondering what you think about it and for any tips on finding work in Seattle, because I don't consider moving back home a possibility should I be unable to find a job. Even if you're not from Seattle, any help is appreciated! [more inside]
posted by independence under the radar on Apr 11, 2013 - 20 answers

Help finding a (possible) half-sister in Chad, Africa?

My wife's father (Caucasian American) spent five years teaching in Chad, Africa in the late 60's and early 70's. A few years ago he told my wife that while he was there he had a relationship with a woman and that after he left the village where he was living he heard that she had a child who "looked like him." My wife and I are thinking about traveling to Chad to see where her father lived and to possibly try and find this woman who would now be in her 40's. We have some limited information from him (names places etc.) Finding information about Chadian culture has been difficult and we want to be sure that there would be no negative consequences for this woman and her family if we went and tried to find her. We want to be as low-key as possible but it looks like most of the westerners who travel to this part of Africa use guides or tourist companies. We speak a little french but not much. Any info would be so much appreciated!
posted by bjharl on Apr 9, 2013 - 5 answers

Need advice - Taking care of my mother.

What should I do about my mother? I don't get along with her or like her, nor can I afford to have her live with me. Yet she has nowhere to go. I'm in Canada. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by j1sh on Apr 8, 2013 - 38 answers

Need perspective on inter-family conflict

My mother and mother-in-law have had a falling out due to a misunderstanding on my mother-in-law's part. My mother-in-law lives with me and my mother is due to visit in the summer (she lives abroad). Before I collapse with stress, I need some external perspective on this issue. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2013 - 15 answers

Smalltown or BigCity?

My family needs to decide between living in Smalltown and BigCity. Have you made this decision and how did you make it? Are you happy in retrospect? [more inside]
posted by The Toad on Apr 7, 2013 - 34 answers

Handling bipolar drama

My distant sibling, diagnosed with bipolar some time ago (I don't know any solid details, unfortunately), fell out of touch with me for years. Now he's back in touch, but mostly just to drop dramatic texts on me ("I'm at the hospital", or, tonight, "I'm with the police, I'll call you when I'm released") and then not answer my increasingly plaintive texts or phone calls. I haven't been the prime target of this sort of thing before, what seems to be big swings of mental illness with the hospital and sheriffs and police involved, and the person involved giving me a bit of information but then nothing. Can anyone with more experience give me some advice as to ways I might handle it? [more inside]
posted by theatro on Apr 7, 2013 - 13 answers

Parents. Cheating. Way out of my depth.

My mom just found out my dad's been cheating on her. How do I deal with all of this from 3000 miles away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2013 - 27 answers

Politely parenting my kid's playdates?

My preschooler is getting just old enough to have a proper social life (playdates, birthday parties, etc.). I've got some specific questions about the parental etiquette expectations surrounding these kiddie get-togethers. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Apr 5, 2013 - 24 answers

Family Drama -- Aunt revisited

I wrote this question about my Aunt. As it turned out, I just wrote back a very polite reply -- "thank you for your good wishes" ...I was polite. I felt good about this. Thank you for all the helpful answers. My Aunt wrote me again -- long story inside. Thank you for taking the time to read it. [more inside]
posted by Lescha on Mar 26, 2013 - 26 answers

Authorization for cremation?

Can signing an 'Authorization For Cremation' form somehow make me responsible for my deceased father's debt? [more inside]
posted by KevinSkomsvold on Mar 25, 2013 - 15 answers

Dealing with an estranged family

How can I accept and deal with my estranged family? My father was an incredibly abusive person to his family. My mother couldn't really handle it (she was 17 or 18 at the time) and ended up giving me to my aunt (father's side). For years I had very little contact with my mother's family. I now have three half-siblings, whom I didn't grow up with and have very little in common with. In fact, at age 32, I live in a world that's completely different from theirs. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2013 - 11 answers

Needed: Credit Card That Allows Hard Spending Limit On Companion Card/AU

Hello I am in need of a credit card that allows me to set a hard limit on authorized users. In addition I need for the card to allow a different limit for the primary and secondary card. [more inside]
posted by flummox on Mar 21, 2013 - 14 answers

My family is in trouble. To what extent is it my duty to help?

My sister (late 30s) has recently given birth to a baby who is probably affected by Down syndrome. There will most likely not be a father in the picture. She also has an 8 y.o. daughter from a different, also absent father. They live at my mother’s house in a small town. My sister has a story of emotional instability and I often fear for my niece and nephew. My sister was molested by my father when she was in her late teens. She is extremely dependent on (and at the same time hostile to) my mother. My mother (divorced), in turn, is struggling to help her and the little children, while having to deal with lack of money and her own (physical) health issues. I (male) am the middle child, 8 years younger than my sister. I´ve lived in a big city for the last 6 years. I´m economically independent (yet also struggling) and starting a career in academia. I feel that if I don´t go back to my home town and help my family, things will deteriorate further. On the other hand, my chances of professional growth would be reduced by moving back there. Do you think a sacrifice of this sort is the right thing to do? [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Mar 19, 2013 - 31 answers

Help me respond constructively to my brother!

My older brother (in his 50s) posted something on FB regarding the Steubenville rape case, which was: [more inside]
posted by HopperFan on Mar 17, 2013 - 52 answers

Planning to have a baby before getting married?

So, I'm trying to get some opinions here: My fiance and I have been engaged for 4 months and are in our mid-20s. We are both in school (undergrad for him, grad for me), but due to my income, we wanted to wait one more year, so that it would be financially better for us (e.g., paying tuition, etc). We are both interested in having children, however, something has come up for me health-wise (ulcerative colitis) that would make it less safe (because of medications) to have a baby later on, compared with now. Here are my questions for you: 1) Would you have a baby before marriage? What would be the reasons? 2) Has anyone actively planned this before? How did it work out? I know some would say suck it up and push up the wedding, but it would save us a good 20K or so.
posted by queenba on Mar 16, 2013 - 49 answers

Speeding up the marriage timeline, need advice

We want to get married, but need to do it much quicker than expected for visa/insurance reasons. How to handle it (snowflakes within)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2013 - 21 answers

Health Insurance/New Job Question

Can a new employer wait 7 months to start health insurance? [more inside]
posted by Broken Ankle on Mar 12, 2013 - 10 answers

Unusual things people do to stay/get healthy?

I'm going into the health field and curious about cultural/ethnic health practices that are off the beaten path. For example, can anyone tell me the "what", "how", and "why" of cupping and coining? What other cultural/religious/traditional practices can you share? [more inside]
posted by mschief on Mar 10, 2013 - 33 answers

Should I move out ASAP or wait it out?

I'm a 22-year-old college grad living home with my dysfunctional family after being away at school for four years. I want to go to dental school but need to take pre-requisite science courses first. These courses should take me 1-2 years to complete. I work about 35 hours per week, but I have no savings and ~40K in student loan debt. My dad is an alcoholic and my mom is frighteningly codependent on him. The environment in my house is miserable and stale. That being said, financially it makes the most sense for me to live home for a couple more years. Should my focus be on moving out ASAP or learning to adapt to the dysfunction while I get my shit done? [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Mar 9, 2013 - 22 answers

Second-time parenting, how does that work?

Tell me about your daily schedules, parenting logistics, etc., with a newborn plus a toddler or older child. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Mar 7, 2013 - 15 answers

80 year old MIL talks incessantly

My 80 year old mother- in- law of 30 years talks non-stop about things I am not interested in----- but the people-pleaser in me keeps listening to her politely and I end up feeling exhausted. [more inside]
posted by seekingsimplicity on Mar 5, 2013 - 23 answers

Advice for making a request of someone you don't personally know?

My father passed away when I was a kid. I want to contact some of his friends to learn more about him, which is awkward enough, but more so when some of his close friends are public figures. Looking for advice on how to go about this. [more inside]
posted by INTPLibrarian on Mar 4, 2013 - 13 answers

I'm blue. Healthy suggestions for cheering myself up?

My baby brother moved to London yesterday and I'm sadder than sad. We're really close and he lived a couple of minutes from me so we hung out a lot. I'm going to miss him so much and it'll take me a while to accept that he's a flight away, and I can't just randomly drop in on him, hear his little hello, and settle down for a few hours of putting the world to rights. My usual way of dealing with sadness is not very productive - namely substances of varying degrees of legality, and chocolate. Help me make a list of positive things I can do to lift me out of the little pool of tears I'm in. He's left me one of his guitars - which was mine about 20 years ago - and I'm determined to learn it this time. Any other suggestions? Thanks.
posted by billiebee on Mar 3, 2013 - 7 answers

When to tell him he's not my biological child?

My wife and I have a 3 year old, which for the sake of anonymity we will call John. He is the joy of my life, but biologically speaking, not mine. I am wondering if we should tell him, if so, how, and at what age we should tell him? Any Mefites who have experience either adopting or being adopted who have helpful input on this, it would be greatly appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Supporting a partner in an ongoing, arguably abusive relationship

Looking for resources for supporting a partner (and my own mental health) in an ongoing, possibly abusive relationship with a family member. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2013 - 8 answers

Help me identify a neighbourhood to stay in Manhattan for a vacation

My family is going on vacation to New York in june for 9 days. We want to find a nice apartment in airbnb, but we have no clue on what would be an appropiate neighbourhood. My parents are over 60, don't speak the language, and want to do all the tourist-y things, so location is very important. My brothers and I are laid back and want to enjoy city life so we are looking for a neighbourhood with interesting things to do. [more inside]
posted by valdesm on Feb 26, 2013 - 25 answers

Hoarders: Crazy cat lady edition!

Mom is a hoarder; house is making her sick. Adult children worried about her and grossed out. What can we do or say to her that might help? Snowflakes inside... Tl;dr: What, if anything, can be done or said to reign this situation in? [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Feb 25, 2013 - 19 answers

How to Anonymously Send Grandmother Money?

How to anonymously send my Grandmother money? I love my Grandmother to pieces. She's one of my favorite people. She's the most charismatic woman I've ever known.. she just has a way with people. I watch her engage others in awe; she can disarm an utterly rigid stranger in a few seconds by simply bestowing her beautiful aura upon them. Pathetically, people have taken advantage of her throughout her entire life. I won't go into details because it's irrelevant, but her story is a sad one. Anyway I'm an adult now and I'm making a good living. I want to help her out without her knowing it's me, and for the rest of her life. She would never accept financial assistance from me so I have to be stealthy. [more inside]
posted by OneHermit on Feb 23, 2013 - 17 answers

Help me sort out what I should say to my aunt -- family drama.

Background: When my father learned I was gay, he disowned me. Think radical old-world "you are dead to me." This was many years ago -- well over a decade. He was very serious and cut off all contact with me. Made it clear I was out of the will and all of that -- very dramatic. I did try to initiate contact a few times many years ago, but was rebuffed. This is not what my question is about though -- I am at peace with this. I know I am a worthwhile and lovable person and I have many people in my life who care about me/love me. I had therapy when all this happened and I really feel I dealt with the emotions then. I know I am lovable and valuable person. Also, my relatives on my late Mother's side -- who are also quite old-world -- surprised me with their acceptance... [more inside]
posted by Lescha on Feb 22, 2013 - 14 answers

Laid Off Spouse

My husband just got laid off from his position today. It's with a large company and he had excellent reviews but their revenue stream has not been up to par. They told him his position has been eliminated. However, he is welcome to reapply if and when blah, blah, blah... My concern is what is the right way to help him. He has never been laid off before and for the most part never thought this could happen. He is very optimistic by nature. He does seem a little shell shocked. My job is not going to be able to support our family. What are the first things we should do? I am also concerned about his mental well being and being a supportive partner while he looks for a new job. To make matters worse (or whatever) we have one in college, one applying to colleges, one getting ready to apply, and one freshman in high school.
posted by lasamana on Feb 22, 2013 - 25 answers

Dealing with family when someone is dying

It appears my Dad is in the process of dying - I'm mostly okay with that, but really struggling with the rest of my family. Could use some words of wisdom. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 21 answers

I do, he does: who marries us?

Please talk to me about your experiences with interfaith wedding ceremonies (specifically, Catholic/non-Catholic.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2013 - 17 answers

Put my name on parent's bank account or power of attorney?

My father would like to add my name to his bank account in case of his medical emergency or death. I'd prefer to just take power of attorney as he has a lot of debt. Thoughts?
posted by jander03 on Feb 10, 2013 - 14 answers

What do you consider a healthy dynamic between parents and a grown son?

I know every family is different, however I'd like to know what people consider to be a healthy idynamic between a grown (41 years) adult living at home and their parents and what would be considered unhealthy. [more inside]
posted by Ranting Prophet of DOOM! on Feb 9, 2013 - 31 answers

I have no blood relatives

What do I need to do to feel connected to people who don't have any "obligation" to be in the world with me? [more inside]
posted by Vermillion on Feb 9, 2013 - 22 answers

Marriage on the rocks, but the rest of my life is a disaster too

My marriage is in bad shape and I feel a lot of anger and resentment toward my husband for his lack of initiative, follow-through, and logistical/emotional support within our household, especially during times of crisis. But right now I feel like I'm dealing with the mother of all crises, and on a practical level it would be folly to leave for at least a year, nor will I be in a position to focus on giving him one last honest shot at fixing things for months. What tools/attitudes/approaches can I adopt or employ to keep from making things worse and even more unsalveagable over the next few months? [more inside]
posted by SomeTrickPony on Feb 8, 2013 - 17 answers

My sister has a hobby my spouse finds offensive. How to set boundaries?

I need to set some boundaries with my spouse about my sister's new passion, which is something he finds offensive. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2013 - 55 answers

How to make an email survey to identify people in a photo?

I have a good scan of the group photo from my grandparents wedding. I know who several of the people are in the photo, and I know that all my grandmother's eight brothers are in the group, but I do not know which brother is which. My Dad has made his best guesses, but he's not sure about many of them. I have recently made contact with several second cousins in the family while doing my genealogical research, so I thought I could get each of them to give me their best guesses in some sort of online survey, and compile the answers to get a sort of family crowd-sourced opinion. But how best to do this? [more inside]
posted by Joh on Feb 3, 2013 - 8 answers

How to make happy time for my reproductive organs?

What can I do, as a mid-twenties female, to ensure my reproductive organs will be as healthy as possible by the time I want kids? There is also history of problems in my family. [more inside]
posted by ramenopres on Feb 3, 2013 - 19 answers

How to help a friend who suffers family criminal from her husband?

My friend is a very nice person and married to her husband three years ago. They got along well with each other. And then they had a baby two years ago. So this family looks like a happy family at first glance. But problem came gradually, when her husband beat her several times without reasons. They quarreled even with very tiny and trivial controversies, followed with beats. Then she tries not to quarrel with him or confront him, but the same happens. There were two times that she called police and he was forced to leave the family for a period of time. Now the same thing happen. As a friend, what kind of comforts and suggestions should I give my friend for her best interests?
posted by caladesi on Feb 2, 2013 - 19 answers

How Can Living in a Multiracial Household Affect an Adopted Child

I am of one race/ethnicity; my partner is of another. No kids. How will adopting a child from a third background impact him/her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2013 - 22 answers

Best photo hosting for organizing and sharing privately?

I'm planning to scan a large number of old family photographs, with an eye to eventually creating family photobooks. I need a wide variety of my family members to be able to access these photos in order to comment on them, and tell me who is in them, when they are from, etc. [more inside]
posted by jacquilynne on Jan 30, 2013 - 6 answers

How do I tell my boss I can't make it to a work-related social event?

My weekend is overbooked to the tune of family vs. work. Help me figure out how to tell my very difficult boss about this the right way. [more inside]
posted by chatelaine on Jan 29, 2013 - 12 answers

How to arrange family vacation with adult siblings but without parents?

My sister (married, one child) and I (married, no kids) want to plan a joint family vacation. We do not want our parents (divorced, both remarried) to come. Our mom is extremely sensitive/dramatic, and we are hoping to avoid a major meltdown from her. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2013 - 16 answers

Tax implications of being "bought out" of a percentage of a realty trust

My two sisters and I were equal beneficiaries in a realty trust. This past year, my older sister bought my 1/3 share (as well as that of my sister.) According to the legal documents, it was a "transfer of beneficial interest". Other than signing and notarizing the documents to transfer the real estate share, nothing else official occurred and my sister just paid us our fair share of the assessed market value. She is not planning on reporting the transaction. I have no idea if I owe taxes on the money I've received (and will also be receiving this year - it was divided into a few payments) and if so, what kind of tax that might be. [more inside]
posted by nekton on Jan 24, 2013 - 10 answers

Help me not ruin my sister's wedding.

My younger sister is getting married, and there are a million ways this could go wrong for me. Help me not ruin her wedding. [more inside]
posted by dekathelon on Jan 24, 2013 - 43 answers

I need a help with a vaca destination in Caribbean or Central America

I am planning a vacation and tortured by all the choices. I'm thinking of the Caribbean or Central America (but open to just about anyplace). I need help narrowing it down. The trip is for my husband, my 5 year old son and me. We'd be flying from Boston and going for a week. So much more inside... [more inside]
posted by beccaj on Jan 22, 2013 - 21 answers

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