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How do I support a loved one with cancer, from far away?

My dad was just diagnosed with Large B Cell Lymphoma. The prognosis is good. He begins chemotherapy (R-CHOP) in a week - 6 cycles every 3 weeks, for a total of 18 weeks. I am a 7 1/2 hour drive away, and I don't own a car. What can I do to help? [more inside]
posted by Isingthebodyelectric on Jul 10, 2013 - 8 answers

How do I help my sister whose marriage is on the rocks?

Ten year marriage that includes a 4 yr old kid is about to fall apart. How can I help directly or help them help themselves through this rocky period? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2013 - 8 answers

My brother's wife just came out

How do I support my brother, his wife, and myself through my sister-in-law coming out as a lesbian? [more inside]
posted by katie521 on Jul 5, 2013 - 47 answers

Organize my family life

Help me organize my family life. I've seen previous questions and don't think that Cozi is the solution. Maybe it's not an App but Apps I'm looking for, or are we simply not making the most of the tools we have available on our iPhones. How do you keep your family life organized? If you can give examples of how you use the tools vs. just the names that would be even more super-helpful. Details and specific criteria below the fold, but we need to manage and sync multiple calendars, shopping lists, to do lists, etc. Both wife and I have iPhones (me: 4s, her 3gs), she also has an iPad which she will use, also she isn't very techie so the more straightforward the better, and I need to sync an Outlook work calendar from a work PC that doesn't play nice with Outlook add-ons (other than Google calendar). [more inside]
posted by dismitree on Jul 2, 2013 - 6 answers

How to best deal with and/or avoid estranged parents at a wedding?

I went "no contact" with my birth family years ago, but I will have to see and likely interact with all of them for the first time since then at my sister's wedding, which is happening soon. How can I make sure that I can ably address whatever might come up with ease and clarity? I am not looking to re-establish any sort of regular communication with them at all, I am just trying to figure out how to gracefully handle encountering them at a single event. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2013 - 50 answers

father daughter exposure limits

Is it necessary for a father or step father to completely avoid exposure of private parts (penis) to a 5 year old daughter? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 1, 2013 - 43 answers

Friend just gave birth. Leaving her husband. What does she need to know?

Not the happiest circumstances to bring a new child into this world. After years of supporting her husband, financially and emotionally, she's reached her limit. He's dealing with some addiction issues, and has become increasingly hostile with the birth of this baby. Maybe they'll work this out one day, but right now she doesn't feel safe, has filled her car with personal belongings and is staying with family. She left him a lengthy note, but does not want to talk to him in the next few days. This has been a long time coming, and while I don't imagine it will be a surprise—his family has actually encouraged her to do this—he won't react well. What sort of legal precautions should she begin taking? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2013 - 19 answers

Please Help Me Decide If I Need Help

I am struggling with my relationship with my family. My parents are older (in their 70's) and things are not as bad as they were when I was young, but I still struggle with issues of blame and anger over what I consider to have been their borderline abusive treatment of myself and one of my siblings. I don't want to cut my family off, and I would dearly love to be free of these negative thoughts and feelings for once and for all, but every visit with them (and the weeks leading up to and following them) are a minefield for me. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2013 - 20 answers

July 4th without a BBQ?

My mom, my brother and I will be celebrating July 4th by ourselves in my small apartment. I'd like to have a nice comfort food meal with them, but I don't have a barbeque or grill available. Here's what I do have: [more inside]
posted by nickhb on Jun 24, 2013 - 18 answers

What to say to my alcoholic dad

I feel compelled to say something to my dad about his drinking, after he hurt himself while drunk recently. I don't know if I should even bother. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Jun 20, 2013 - 27 answers

Mummies and Daddies, Ghouls and Boys

Please help me come up with a - clever name- for a local parents with kids meet-up group. We're goths, we don't have special snowflakes, we have coal dust... [more inside]
posted by _paegan_ on Jun 20, 2013 - 32 answers

Wedding and controlling parents-- how to cope

I'm getting married in 10 days, and it's stressful for everybody involved, mostly because I have controlling parents who are intricately involved with every part of this. Any tips/advice for coping with this situation? Lots of culture-specific snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2013 - 45 answers

Need help processing social/familial obligations for funeral

My mother is 75 now, has Parkinson's, and is likely not going to be around in another year or two. I will feel no personal need to go to the funeral, when that time comes, and would like help processing that. The following information may or may not be pertinent and may be a summer blizzard. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 16, 2013 - 48 answers

Don't want to send my kid sister to jail...

My sister told me about some pretty disturbing and illegal things that she is doing. She clearly needs some kind of help or intervention, but I have no idea how to go about doing that without putting her in jail. I feel totally lost and conflicted. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2013 - 44 answers

How to help my lonely brother who I suspect is drinking alone?

I don't think I'll sleep at all tonight because I just got off the phone with my brother and was pretty sure he was alone and drunk. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2013 - 25 answers

First World Problems: Academic edition

Academic sabbatical +/- having a baby: how does that work? What is the most "logical" time frame for either of these to occur? Is this a bad idea altogether? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2013 - 11 answers

Where to go next in personal finance journey?

How to balance saving, paying off debt, improving living situation, having a baby, getting spouse more involved in finances, better managing retirement accounts, and a partridge in a pear tree. [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Jun 4, 2013 - 14 answers

Need a surrogate older sister... where to find?

What I want is an older sister /grandmother/ auntie type - someone wise I can write letters to from time to time, who will write me thoughtful letters back and offer suggestions and whatnot. A life coach? A counsellor (or therapist)? Does anyone offer this service? I would happily pay a reasonable fee. [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Jun 3, 2013 - 104 answers

Magical Make-it-Click-Phrase

My husband's mother will not accept that we can not accompany them on a family vacation this summer. We need a magical phrase that is going to help her get it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2013 - 55 answers

Respond to fb warning involving sister's alleged affair ?

How to respond to a facebook warning/possible threat concerning an alleged affair involving my sister? [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Jun 2, 2013 - 26 answers

Forget it, doc, I think it's really cool that you're concerned...

I've recently experienced a significant family loss. I also need to leave my long-term partner. How does this go exactly? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2013 - 14 answers

Fighting family

I lent my cousin a very special item. Now they won't give it back. Do I fight or retreat? [more inside]
posted by mumimor on May 31, 2013 - 40 answers

Other than Naomi and Ruth...

What are some stories (real/historical or fictional) about good mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships that I can read? [more inside]
posted by peacrow on May 30, 2013 - 2 answers

Want to connect with extended family, but don't know the words

For a variety of reasons I have never been close with my extended family. Growing up there was tension between my parents and them. We maybe saw them once every few years and I knew virtually nothing about any of them. When I was older and began to appreciate what I was missing, I was too socially awkward and wrapped up in young adulthood angst to make the connection myself. I want to connect now and don't know how. [more inside]
posted by Hey nonny nonny mouse on May 29, 2013 - 8 answers

Grocery Budget for a Whole-Foods loving family

We're a family of four with two girls, ages 5 and almost 2. Need to keep grocery budget around 100/week. We like to buy organic fruits, veggies, and milk. How do you do it? Examples, lists, all helpful. [more inside]
posted by percor on May 23, 2013 - 31 answers

DC Hotel Filter

Looking for a hotel in the Washington DC area. There are, of course, a lot of special snowflake requirements. [more inside]
posted by Andrhia on May 23, 2013 - 18 answers

How to not get upset if my partner sees my friends' news before me?

A few times, my partner has seen news (on Facebook mostly) from friends such as my siblings and their partners, before I have. I get very upset when this happens. Is this irrational? Is there any good way to cope with it? [more inside]
posted by skippy_gal on May 21, 2013 - 31 answers

What are your family-style, urban living life hacks?

Mrs. Quizicalcoatl and I are finally moving to the Boston area with our 9- and 7-year old. What do we need to know? [more inside]
posted by Quizicalcoatl on May 20, 2013 - 22 answers

What to do when girlfriend and brother don't get along?

I'm having trouble getting everyone to get along. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2013 - 18 answers

Finding a Missing Traveller

My brother left for Rome, Italy on Monday to do a summer job for a lab there and we (his friends and family) still haven't had any contact from him. I'm worried that something might have happened to him and his wife and kids are worried sick. Is there any good routes to trying to find him in case he's been in an accident? I don't have the name of the lab he's working for or I'd just call them :(
posted by Ikazuchi on May 15, 2013 - 20 answers

When should I present this recording to my niece?

A while back my sister left a message on my mom's answering machine, saying "Hi mom, we had a baby girl..." and then she goes on to describe the birth of her daughter and how cute she was, basically leaving an audio record of this wonderful occasion. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to save this recording. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2013 - 33 answers

I want to take a family history. There may be a cultural barrier. Tips?

I've always wanted to learn about my family's history. I have an aunt who is nearing 75 and according to my father, she knows the most about my family. I was thinking of interviewing her this summer. [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on May 14, 2013 - 8 answers

i am a terrible human being

Yesterday was mothers day. I sent her a card/flowers and called. I completely forgot about both of my grandmothers who are the most wonderful loving caring people. Argh, I feel terrible. what should i do? if you were them, what would you want? send a card and call? thanks.
posted by seesom on May 13, 2013 - 22 answers

Grandpa must be crazy pt. II

My previous post from 2007 gets the sequel treatment. Here's the post. [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! on May 10, 2013 - 16 answers

Nice way to decline sister's baby shower?

My sister with whom I have a strained relationship is having her baby shower on Sunday (yes, Mother's Day) for her baby due in July. I was not super-excited about going, and then my other sister called to say she's not going, and did I want to get together & do something. I do, but I don't know how to decline the invite from the other sister. [more inside]
posted by epersonae on May 8, 2013 - 56 answers

My wife doesn't want kids but I do -- is change of her mind possible?

After 2 years of marriage my wife (age 33) still doesn't want to have children while I (age 35) desperately want ones. Before marriage we have discussed it and she said that she would like to wait "for about a year" before trying for a baby. I agreed. Now she is saying that she isn't ready yet, and won't be ready for another 2 years. I thought that we have an agreement, but I was mistaken. Is it at all possible that she will change her mind, or postponing children for more years is just a stalling tactic on her behalf? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 5, 2013 - 64 answers

Help me help them to help themselves.

A barrage of bad news has come down the parental pike. I'm dealing fine but I think my parents--my mom, in particular--are in denial about their situation. Help me figure out the politest course of action to do something about it? [more inside]
posted by Kitteh on May 2, 2013 - 13 answers

Pre-marriage counseling is fine. But how committed is he?

It's been a few months after my fiance proposed and he made plans to move in with me and my 15-year-old son this summer. As predicted, my son began acting up, basically in the form of talking back and being a little rude to me in front of the fiance, who comes here every weekend. It's important to note my son does not act this way when it's the 2 of us and I completely understand what's going on and we're talking to someone. [more inside]
posted by kinetic on Apr 27, 2013 - 26 answers

Towns to use as a home base in Scotland?

My family will be spending 10 days road tripping through Scotland in May. There will be four adults (myself, my husband, and my retired parents), and one 18 month old toddler. What towns will work best as bases for exploring surrounding areas? [more inside]
posted by asnowballschance on Apr 25, 2013 - 5 answers

Is it dangerous/reckless for a young woman to take a taxi at 5 AM?

Is it dangerous/reckless for a young woman to take a taxi at 5 AM? [more inside]
posted by instantfail on Apr 22, 2013 - 45 answers

Explaining "you're not welcome" to family?

How do you explain to your mother-in-law that you don't want some of her family around? Trigger Warning: abuse. [more inside]
posted by msladygrey on Apr 18, 2013 - 23 answers

SF Bay to Tampa Bay

We live in the San Francisco Bay area and we are considering moving to the Tampa Bay area. Where in Tampa/St. Pete would we not hate living? [more inside]
posted by gnutron on Apr 15, 2013 - 8 answers

Where are the best places in LA to live with a family?

You're considering a move to Los Angeles for a job in Irvine. You and your (stay-at-home) wife are both in your early 30s, and have two young (under two years old) children. You were raised in the midwest, and prefer the suburbs. You want to live in an area that has lots of other young families and easy access to eating and shopping and preschools and other things like that. You don't want to spend more than 30 minutes or so commuting. You want to spend about $3,000 per month on rent for a 3+ bedroom single-family-home (or condo, you suppose). What areas of Los Angeles do you focus on?
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2013 - 25 answers

Name/domain for private photo network for parents.

Please help me pick a name and domain for our website/app. We're a private network for parents to upload, backup and share their kids' pictures. [more inside]
posted by signal on Apr 14, 2013 - 1 answer

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents.

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

What happens when the family tree goes straight down?

Is there any discussion available of the social/behavior results of having multiple generations of only children in a family? Know of any sources? Have any personal experiences? [more inside]
posted by powerbumpkin on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

Moving Out Update: Making it work in Seattle & recovering from therapy

Hello Mefites, I am in the process of moving away from my abusive family (Previously: here and here). I've had a rough week, with my dad escalating his anger despite no provocation from me, which helped me make a lot of progress on moving out my things (discreetly) but I had a therapy session yesterday and I feel like my therapist has been screwing with my need to protect myself and get out. I was wondering what you think about it and for any tips on finding work in Seattle, because I don't consider moving back home a possibility should I be unable to find a job. Even if you're not from Seattle, any help is appreciated! [more inside]
posted by independence under the radar on Apr 11, 2013 - 20 answers

Help finding a (possible) half-sister in Chad, Africa?

My wife's father (Caucasian American) spent five years teaching in Chad, Africa in the late 60's and early 70's. A few years ago he told my wife that while he was there he had a relationship with a woman and that after he left the village where he was living he heard that she had a child who "looked like him." My wife and I are thinking about traveling to Chad to see where her father lived and to possibly try and find this woman who would now be in her 40's. We have some limited information from him (names places etc.) Finding information about Chadian culture has been difficult and we want to be sure that there would be no negative consequences for this woman and her family if we went and tried to find her. We want to be as low-key as possible but it looks like most of the westerners who travel to this part of Africa use guides or tourist companies. We speak a little french but not much. Any info would be so much appreciated!
posted by bjharl on Apr 9, 2013 - 5 answers

Need advice - Taking care of my mother.

What should I do about my mother? I don't get along with her or like her, nor can I afford to have her live with me. Yet she has nowhere to go. I'm in Canada. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by j1sh on Apr 8, 2013 - 38 answers

Need perspective on inter-family conflict

My mother and mother-in-law have had a falling out due to a misunderstanding on my mother-in-law's part. My mother-in-law lives with me and my mother is due to visit in the summer (she lives abroad). Before I collapse with stress, I need some external perspective on this issue. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2013 - 15 answers

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