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1682 posts tagged with Family.
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How to interact with an unfamiliar new resident in my parents home?

A lovely, college-aged young woman who has had a very rough year is coming to live with my parents, whom I visit several times a year, often for extended periods of time (I live 900 miles away, but I'm a student with long vacations). I think this is great. However, I feel a little at sea for how to interact with her, and to prepare for this change, especially given the giant elephant in the room: the horrible event that happened which has caused her to need a new home. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2013 - 31 answers

Someone is intentionally attacking me & my family online.

Someone has created a site via Google Sites that is radically defaming myself and my family. We're not talking about a 12 year playing a prank. It's a systematic attack with the most egregious accusations one can imagine. They're parroting my personal business site and posting info that is not only libelous, but fantastically horrible. The junk they've posted about myself, my wife and our two small children is heartbreaking. We believe we know who it is (but have no proof) and have contacted the FBI on advice of a lawyer. They've told us they'll call us once they get jurisdiction figured out and the cybercrime guys take a look. The kind SAIC looked at the site and understood the problem but only got the ball in motion. That could take weeks/months for them to move on this and the site needs to come down, now. HOW? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2013 - 19 answers

Unexpected TEENAGE guest for the holidays?

Both my niece (16 yrs old) and her father (my brother - 37 yrs old) conveniently "forgot" to tell me that her 18 year old boyfriend would be coming to our family Christmas. They will be staying in MY house and did not ask for permission for the boyfriend to stay, nor did they ask myself or my mother (Grandma) permission for an outsider to come to the family Christmas. The kid already has a plane ticket and I honestly don't believe it's his fault - I 100% blame my brother and my niece. So, it's sort of too late - he's coming. But what do I say to them to let them know that I am FURIOUS but it's the holidays so I'll do my bloody best to be HOSPITABLE and FUN and CHEERY but that this is seriously NOT OKAY with me? [more inside]
posted by athena2255 on Dec 16, 2013 - 113 answers

Family board games for adults and little kids

This holiday season, I'm thinking about giving the gift of board games. Most of my friends (adults in their 30s - 50s) have little kids (2-6 years old). Do you have any board game recommendations for a family with kids around that age, that everyone can play together? Card games, or heck any other games are good, too. Thanks!
posted by lillygog on Dec 16, 2013 - 33 answers

Make a trip to see elderly relatives, even if she caused odd mini-drama?

Should we make plans to drive several hours and stay in a hotel, after flying across the country with our young kids (who'll be ages 6.5 and 4.5) next Spring, so that they can meet my husband's elderly relatives, with whom he has always had very good relationships... that is, until his octogenarian Grandmother said something to him over the phone that caused my husband to suddenly have a strong negative/ambivalent reaction to the whole idea? [more inside]
posted by hush on Dec 16, 2013 - 46 answers

Me and You and That Guy

I can't stand my sister's boyfriend. He's coming for Christmas. They're inseparable. Now what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 14, 2013 - 47 answers

How to stop my father's rages (or at least their effect on me)?

Throughout my life, my father has had anger issues, typically directed at me. Although he isn't violent, he will become extremely (almost uncontrollably) angry whenever I do anything 'wrong'. Now that I'm an adult and no longer financially dependent on him, I want to stop this cycle. However, I'm having trouble figuring out how to do this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2013 - 63 answers

So apparently my family is publicly bragging about our child abuse now?

So I log onto facebook for the first time in weeks today and see my brother has posted this image and my mother has "liked" it. Nothing that was done to us as kids would qualify as spanking (punched in the side of the head very often, welts on skin, bruises, dad threatening my sister with a kitchen knife, holding us off the ground by our necks, locking us in the bathroom and hitting us for half an hour for eating the wrong yoghurt from the fridge, knocked over if we ever spoke back to them etc). My brother was actually very rarely hit and it stopped altogether when mum threatened to divorce dad after he hit my brother badly one time. (No such luck for us girls though). I'm SO ANGRY right now and want to react but don't know how it would improve anything. I feel like I'm being goaded but am trapped in how I handle this, with it being a public forum all my friends can see. Please Mefi help me stay calm and do this right (even if that means doing nothing). [more inside]
posted by everydayanewday on Dec 10, 2013 - 39 answers

My, what big eyes you have

Having trouble with a visiting relative, do I confront or just avoid? [more inside]
posted by readygo on Dec 7, 2013 - 36 answers

JobFilter: help me choose

Choice 1. Tech startup - smart people, legitimate prospects, lots of autonomy, good upside, exciting work. Choice 2. Young but growing company - #5 with a bullet in their industry, much lower risk, 15% higher pay, potentially boring work [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 4, 2013 - 22 answers

Amtrak - Xmas travel from NYC to DC with infant and luggage

Questions on Christmas Amtrak travel from NYC to D.C (how busy and what's the deal with luggage?) for a small family who has never traveled Amtrak before. [more inside]
posted by inflatablekiwi on Dec 2, 2013 - 15 answers

How do I respond to this?

I just received a probably inappropriate and drunken, certainly meddling message on FB from someone I don't know, but who has connections to my family. [more inside]
posted by RedEmma on Dec 2, 2013 - 25 answers

Fiction featuring Thanksgiving gatherings?

What are some examples of works of fiction (e.g. novels, movies) that feature a Thanksgiving family gathering as a major plot element? [more inside]
posted by Asparagus on Nov 30, 2013 - 21 answers

Help us move without too much chaos!

We are making a local move (less than a mile) to a new house. When my husband and I moved into our current 4-bedroom house 14 years ago, it was the two of us coming from a small two-bedroom apartment with not much stuff - I packed it all, had movers, and it was done in a day. This is not that move. Please share your tips and tricks for moving a big, complicated household! [more inside]
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse on Nov 30, 2013 - 19 answers

forgiveness

How do you know when you've truly forgiven someone? How do you let go of old pain when you've long ago forgiven the person who caused it? Is it possible to truly forgive someone but still not want them in your life? [more inside]
posted by evil otto on Nov 30, 2013 - 21 answers

How to stay sane spending the holidays with my bigoted parents

How to stay sane spending the holidays with my bigoted parents [more inside]
posted by GorgeousPorridge on Nov 29, 2013 - 35 answers

New Year's Day in San Francisco

I'm spending New Year's in San Francisco so my partner and I can get married (no gay marriage allowed in Montana, so we're headed to the home state of both our families). We plan to be there with our parents and siblings for the event, but are not sure what to do with ourselves on the day of the 1st. [more inside]
posted by ikahime on Nov 27, 2013 - 9 answers

Staying at Land of a Thousand Cleaning Products

My family spends most holidays at the home of a family member with untreated OCD. It’s already a huge challenge, and I’ve discovered it’s slightly worse than I’d thought. Will solve an immediate problem temporarily, but won’t see my therapist until after Thanksgiving. Please just help me to not go nuclear this week. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2013 - 40 answers

National Lampoon's European Vacation Moocher

What's the age cutoff to expect to be able to tag along with your parents on a vacation? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Nov 25, 2013 - 34 answers

Help Me Figure Out the Best Finanacial Strategy

I'm unexpectedly broke. How do I get cash to use now, and a way to pay tuition and living expenses soon -- with the least risk of ending up in this situation again? [more inside]
posted by rue72 on Nov 21, 2013 - 19 answers

What steps can I take to meet a family orientated partner?

I'm an early 30s male, I have spent the last few years living a very self-centered life, hopping around short term casual relationships. I recently had a change of priorities, and want to prioritise starting a family. The gist of the question is about compromise. What kind of traits should be prioritised in a partner? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2013 - 37 answers

Alcoholism and the holidays

How do I navigate this family dysfunction around an alcoholic at Thanksgiving and Christmas? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2013 - 18 answers

Strategies for quality time with my wife when life gets in the way

How does a youngish (36) married couple spend quality time together when demanding jobs and childcare responsibilities seem to make it nearly impossible? What are your strategies? How do you cope? [more inside]
posted by Creamroller on Nov 13, 2013 - 18 answers

Yeah, you're ill, but you're still being a nightmare...

I posted this question back in May, about my father's strange (and awful) behaviour that seems to be driven by some kind of illness. Things have not improved. Part of me says, "you should be there for him, it's your dad and he's obviously ill"; another part says "he's behaving like a monster, cut him out of your life." How do I determine which part to listen to? [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on Nov 11, 2013 - 19 answers

How do I deal now?

After getting severely depressed in Japan, I quit my fabulous grad school and left my friends and boyfriend behind to go back to Germany last month. I am getting treatment, but what can I do to make sure I won't get worse again? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Nov 8, 2013 - 8 answers

But I don't like you - must I toast to you?

My stepsister is getting married this Saturday, a stepsister who has always presumed closeness to everyone in her stepfamily. I do not like her very much for reasons that are not relevant here. I am a bridesmaid in the wedding. She e-mailed all of the bridesmaids and in the same e-mail about our jewelry, mentioned that they'd be making time for speeches during the rehearsal dinner while the band is on a break (yes! There's a band at the rehearsal dinner, which is a whole other story...). She asked for us to let her know if anyone was interested in giving a toast. Should I? [more inside]
posted by juliagulia on Nov 7, 2013 - 39 answers

Making a book of Favorate Tweets

There used to be a service that took your stared tweets, and make them into a book. I can't find it now and it would be awesome for all the family stories and comments I've saved over the years... [more inside]
posted by rmathew1 on Nov 6, 2013 - 3 answers

Support Groups for adult children with estranged families?

Is there such a thing? I tried searching some, but I dunno, maybe I'm not searching right because I didn't find anything. [more inside]
posted by manderin on Nov 5, 2013 - 6 answers

Setting boundries with parents, what is the best approach at 30?

I am 30 years old, I have been pretty independent (I left NY to move to VA when I was 21 to go to college and have been here since). My parents recently moved 3 miles from my house about two years ago... it is a blessing, but sometimes it is difficult. I feel I carry "guilt" that I need to keep them company or keep my Mom busy since they don't have any friends or family here, so it makes me feel like I owe them a lot of my time since they basically moved here for me. If I dont call her or see her twice a week its like I've "abandoned" them. How do I get my parents to see this without it sounding like I don't "need" them in my life as much? [more inside]
posted by BrandNewMe on Nov 4, 2013 - 15 answers

How to support a relative post-bariatric surgery during the holidays?

I have a relative with some long-time food and weight issues who just underwent bariatric surgery. Making meals with her, cooking and eating out have always been kind of fraught. We'll be having a family Christmas holiday at her house and I'm worried that the heavy emphasis on food will be stressful. Any tips? [more inside]
posted by amanda on Oct 31, 2013 - 8 answers

My fiancé dislikes my mother..,

My fiancé dislikes my mother. How big an issue will this be? What can I do to mitigate any future issues regarding this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2013 - 29 answers

Inbetween Days

What tasks should I accomplish during a week off in between jobs to improve the state of my soul? [more inside]
posted by thenewbrunette on Oct 26, 2013 - 13 answers

I'm not on this diet to alienate you, I promise!

I'm on a diet that many (most) people would consider very restrictive if not downright odd. It's for health reasons, though I don't have any visible health or weight issues. I'm going to be spending several days with my boyfriend visiting his family over the holidays, and I'm dreading trying to navigate the weird food issues that will likely arise. If you are on a specific diet, how do you get around not eating various things that people are expected to eat (especially around the holidays)? [more inside]
posted by whistle pig on Oct 24, 2013 - 50 answers

What should my elderly parents do with their only asset, a liquid $250K?

I'm seeking as many opinions as I can get from people with knowledge of financial advising and/or trusts & estates and/or estate planning, about what my parents (in their 80s) ought to do with their $250,000 in liquid assets. I'm NOT looking for the kind of detailed plan we'd get from an advisor whom we hire; I'm looking for short, quite general, common sense answers (such as "These ONE OR TWO types of instruments are good/bad; all others are to be avoided/considered.") I'm also looking for as many answers as I can get. In order to get that assortment of answers, I want to disclose only a very few specific things about the folks: 1. they currently rent an apartment; they do not own a home. 2. they are in their 80s--relatively healthy and can drive, shop, take care of themselves, but I'm not sure how long that'll last. I'd like to see them in a retirement community within a couple years. 3. Their only income (which doesn't amount to much) is social security. 4. They lose about $2,100 in total expenses every month. That's just about equal to what they take in each month. 5. Their one and only significant asset is a liquid $250,000. Okay, at their age, and considering all the above, WHAT IS/ARE THE MOST PRACTICAL THING(s) THEY SHOULD DO WITH THAT LUMP OF LIQUID MONEY? THANK YOU from their worried adult child with a family of my own!
posted by losdavos on Oct 24, 2013 - 14 answers

how to cope with an omnipresent ex-girlfriend?

my SO's ex-girlfriend is pretty much always around. i thought i was cool with it, and philosophically, i want to be cool with it... but it's seriously starting to grate on my nerves. how to deal? [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape on Oct 22, 2013 - 26 answers

Urgent family illness and academic deadline

I have a complicated relationship with my family. An elderly relative is dying in the next few weeks. I have an extremely important deadline coming up. I need help in coping. [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Oct 16, 2013 - 8 answers

No really, I don't want to do that... ever...

I am a 31 year old woman and newly married. I have a kick ass husband who also came with a kick ass stepson that I love to death and with whom I have a great relationship. I have no desire to have a bio-kid, especially now that I have a step son. I have had many comments from people about how I am going to change my mind about not wanting more kids, a lot of “Uh huh…” comments with ‘knowing’ smug smiles, sort of like when a 6 year old boy says that he will never ever kiss a girl, eww that is gross. Are they likely right, or are they being assholes? How do I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson on Oct 16, 2013 - 65 answers

Where should I live?

Looking for a home in a gay marriage state. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 14, 2013 - 50 answers

miss manners: government shutdown edition

How can I, a government employee, tactfully field ribs about being furloughed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2013 - 38 answers

How to gracefully not attend a wedding this weekend?

I said I would go to my cousin's wedding this weekend. I am on my second day home sick with a massive cold and just don't think I'll be up to it... [more inside]
posted by JoannaC on Oct 10, 2013 - 59 answers

Is it my place to be the one telling people about what this guy did?

I came across a news article that revealed that someone I used to be acquainted with was convicted for production and distribution of child pornography. He toured the churches of his denomination with a music group for many years. As a former member of that faith, with friends and family members still active, and someone who was not directly effected by what he did, is it my place to be the one let people people know about this? If so, what is an appropriate way to do that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2013 - 18 answers

How to break big career change to the parents?

I want to get a PhD in clinical psychology and be a therapist (or maybe an MSW or other similar degree). I'm very well informed about this decision and have already learned a great deal about the field through personal study. Here's the catch: I don't know how to explain it to my parents. I scored very well on the LSAT, and my lawyer dad loves the idea of my being a lawyer. Plus, I've become interested in psychology through my personal therapy, which they know nothing about. Any advice on how to break it to them that I want a different career that seems to come out of left field? How do I explain WHY I want to be a therapist? I'm 27, they think I'm settled on becoming a lawyer, and they are entirely unaware that I have any interest in psychology. Help?!
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2013 - 15 answers

Cutting off abusive parents AFTER they have tried to make amends?

My parents were abusive for over a decade of my life, profoundly and in many ways permanently impacting my physical health and emotional and social well-being. Since that time, they have apologized, but I am still incredibly angry and hurt by the choices they made. Could cutting off contact help me move on? Mefites who have been in similar situations, please share your experiences and suggestions for healing. More details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2013 - 46 answers

Help me handle a tricky family situation.

My sister-in-law is doesn't hang out with my kids and my mother-in-law thinks it's my fault. How do I defuse the situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2013 - 31 answers

Wow, it's beautiful, please can I take it back?

For a sentimental family occasion, my inlaws got me a very sweet present of some expensive jewelry-- after being told very clearly that I don't like expensive jewelry and don't really wear it. How terrible would it be (politically, ethically, relationally) if I were to return the item in question to the store? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2013 - 60 answers

Need a Seattle family photographer

Looking for a Seattle photographer than can shoot some quirky outdoor family photos for us. [more inside]
posted by dw on Sep 23, 2013 - 6 answers

How to not let a mean family member (and people in general) get to me?

I have an extended family member that likes to poke fun at me - I consider the fun to be mean spirited, he doesn't. He doesn't let up, and it makes me dread family gatherings, because I know that I will get peppered with rude comments (about what I'm wearing, my sexuality, etc.). I have a hard time knowing what to say in response, and I find this to be the case when dealing with many people that I would consider to be "assholes". How to cope and not let myself get scared away from events by people like him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 21, 2013 - 62 answers

Please stop making me take sides

How can I navigate the breakup of my close friend with my sister, which is still causing problems years later? I’m caught in the middle trying to be friends with both and it’s very frustrating! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2013 - 44 answers

How can I help my brother?

A few years ago I posted here to ask for help after having my identity stolen by my mother. It turns out that this has now happened to my younger brother as well, but he isn't being smart about it. How can I help him? [more inside]
posted by delicate_dahlias on Sep 17, 2013 - 12 answers

Looking for a simple divorce solution in PDX area

Paperwork makes me droolingly stupid. I have taken a stab at doing the divorce paperwork myself, but it always ends up crumpled up on the floor. The parenting plan business (required by Multnomah county) was the easy part. I am looking for someone who will handle the paperwork and filing and just get it done with. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2013 - 3 answers

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