1962 posts tagged with Family.
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How to discuss an argument with someone who avoids discussions?

I am feeling such anxiety about an in law family incident about a month ago. I am a conflict avoider. I don't think fast on my feet. But on the other hand, I am trying to stand up for myself more, because I have noticed how much it affects my health to hold my anger/resentment inside. It literally makes me sick to my stomach and tense all over. I wrote about the incident and how I feel my sister and brother in law are very inconsiderate about other people's time and money. I understand this is not my problem except when it affects me. My question is, what am I supposed to do now? I am not sorry for standing up for myself. But this family does not discuss problems, they give silent treatments for 10 years. It makes me so so so uncomfortable and I feel anxiety just anticipating the next family event. I don't want to feel like I am getting the silent treatment. However, I cannot avoid these people for the rest of my life.
posted by tangomija on Apr 13, 2016 - 8 answers

Help me avoid the WASP trap.

My super-rich, super-WASPy, tangential in-laws, have invited us to stay with them for a few days. I do not understand their ways and am terrified of making some huge social faux pas and creating offense I don't understand that will last for forty years. What do I wear? What do I say? How do I avoid weird undercurrents? Please advise! [more inside]
posted by corb on Apr 13, 2016 - 105 answers

Formerly abusive parents who are now elderly and wanting forgiveness

Growing up, my family was squarely middle class. But that didn’t make it easy. My father was an alcoholic with a vicious temper. He was incredibly emotionally abusive, and on occasion, he was physically abusive. Think “The Great Santini”, minus the military elements. And minus the supportive mother. My mother – whom my father abused just as much as he did us – put up with every inch of it. What’s more, she basically took it out on us children, keeping herself cold and distant while never once acknowledging his faults. Now they’re dying, and man, are the guilt trips heavy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 60 answers

National Sibling Day. But he's a buttmunch.

The "political is personal" and vice-versa with my younger brother during this election season. It has sort of hit a boiling point via social media recently and I need some strategies for how to manage this - both in terms of my feelings and as a practical matter. [more inside]
posted by pantarei70 on Apr 10, 2016 - 22 answers

The in-law triangle, how do you deal with it?

My partner and I have been together a long time and I have posted about issues with his sister before. I can see that his inability to draw boundaries is the real issue here and so my question is combination of how does one deal when a SO can't and won't draw boundaries and has a needy sibling who has a hard time backing off. We are all in our late 30s but emotionally in our relationship, it feels like he needs to take care of her, and be there for her and I can't get over the feeling that her very existence is now sucking oxygen out of my relationship, and i need to stop feeling like that. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on Apr 5, 2016 - 30 answers

Bali newbie seeks your best do and don't recommendations and hot tips

Travelling to Bali soon for the first time (2 adults, 2 kids under 10). We're staying in Sanur. What are your top tips please? This could be for places to visit or things to see but could also be around important things to consider regarding health, safety, money exchange, general dos and don'ts etc. I'm sure there are lots of seasoned Bali visitors on the site who've got lots of experience to share, some having learned the hard way. Please pass on your wisdom!
posted by ozem on Apr 2, 2016 - 8 answers

Family filter: the logistics of moving cross-country!

What factors might I consider and questions need I answer in planning a cross-country move for my family from San Diego to the east coast? Looking primarily for advice on logistics, practical considerations on the most economically feasible ways to do this, and personal anecdotes from those of you that have done a long distance, city to city move successfully with a family. [more inside]
posted by Everydayville on Mar 30, 2016 - 8 answers

Any advice for family trip to D.C. in April?

My wife and I are driving down from New England to Washington, D.C., in later April with our four kids. We'll be staying near the Capitol. Is there anything we should especially know? [more inside]
posted by wenestvedt on Mar 28, 2016 - 36 answers

Sick, estranged parent and toxic family

Estranged parent is ill. Toxic family member has moved in. Advice on how to convey caring while maintaining safety is needed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2016 - 18 answers

TravelFilter: cross country trip in early summer on the cheap, with kids

We're looking to travel from New Mexico to the Baltimore area in early summer, with 4 adults and 2 kids under 5 years old. Airfare looks to be steep enough (and our schedules flexible enough) that we're thinking of road-tripping, so I'm looking for suggestions for vehicle rentals, routes, activity places and distractions along the way. Thanks! [more inside]
posted by filthy light thief on Mar 21, 2016 - 6 answers

Should I rock the boat?

I have written a letter to my mother in which I try to show her that her marriage to my father is not what it claims to be, and that the promised happy times that are always just around the corner are probably never going to come. Should I send it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 19, 2016 - 43 answers

Skill of the month

I'm thinking of introducing a 'skill of the month' for my family of 3 kids and 2 adults. I'd love some more ideas - criteria within... [more inside]
posted by widdershins on Mar 17, 2016 - 46 answers

Navigating family expectations about wedding surprises

We're introverts who don't like the spotlight or surprises, and our family wanted to throw a surprise performance at our wedding reception. The discussion around this isn't going well. How do we communicate more effectively about this, both re: this specific reception and introversion in general? [more inside]
posted by orbit-3 on Mar 16, 2016 - 33 answers

Help me make coming out to my parents as bearable as possible

I've managed to put off coming out to my parents as transgender for close to a year now. I'm 22 and have spent the majority of the last 4 years studying and volunteering abroad. Coming home last summer (to live with my parents, I should add) I thought I'd finally felt prepared enough to tell them what I'd been trying so desperately to hide from them. Over nine months later now I still haven't "gotten around to it", I guess. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2016 - 10 answers

Is there a way to let my family (& only them) tag family photos online?

After my Grandma died recently, I went to her house and scanned every family photo she was in so everyone in the family could have a digital copy. There are a lot of people I can't identify in these pictures. I'm wondering if there's a way I could put the whole folder of them online in a password-protected or invite-only place that lets family members tag the pictures so anyone who knows who these people are can identify them. I don't want to put them online somewhere where just anyone could see them.
posted by Sleeper on Mar 1, 2016 - 4 answers

VacationFilter: Help Plan a Three-Generation Adventure in Ireland.

We're planning an 8 to 12 day vacation in Ireland this summer (late June / early July) for 11 people (mostly Canadian) ages 1 through 70. Looking for suggestions for family-friendly places to stay, things to see, ways to get about. [more inside]
posted by stungeye on Feb 29, 2016 - 7 answers

Help me get along with my bf's perfectly decent family

I (F, early 30s) have been together with my bf (mid 30s) for 2 years and have spent many a weekend together with his family. They are always really nice and welcoming to me and yet I still don't feel comfortable around them because of: difference in family background (his family is extremely close-knit and generally happy, mine is a painful emotional mess), my own tendency to feel like an outsider, my not really liking who he is when around his family, and my not-entirely-baseless insecurity about him always choosing his family over me (more explanation about the last two inside). My questions: 1. How can I learn to be more comfortable around his family? I am interested mainly in advice on how I can manage my insecurity about him always choosing his family over me. 2. Is there any point of doing (1) at all or are we just incompatible? [more inside]
posted by thecampushippo on Feb 28, 2016 - 24 answers

How do you know it's the right time to have a baby?

I am 29, my husband is 38. I have a year left in my technical program. In the past few months I've felt like I NEED NEED NEED A BABY. I can't decide if we should go for it or wait a year. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2016 - 27 answers

Could my ethnicity play a role in my disappointing love life?

I am a 27 year old woman, and have always had horrible luck with relationships. I'm starting to wonder if my ethnicity, culture, background (Asian-Indian/Hindu) could have something to do with it? [more inside]
posted by summertimesadness1988 on Feb 27, 2016 - 35 answers

Need a mobile task app to manage family to-do lists.

I'm looking for an app to co-manage household tasks with my husband from our phones. There are a few requirements scenarios this app needs to allow. What do you use that meets those requirements? [more inside]
posted by chesty_a_arthur on Feb 22, 2016 - 10 answers

Music you and your kids both enjoy

I'm in search of specific suggestions for music you and your kids both enjoy listening to. I'm thinking primarily of music targeted at adults, though am open to suggestions for particularly awesome kids' music as well (See: Here Comes Science). Recommendations for albums, individual songs, or Pandora channel seeds all highly welcome. [more inside]
posted by telepanda on Feb 22, 2016 - 55 answers

Parent/adult child creative financial planning

I am an only child in my early 30s; my mom is in her late 50s. I have a good income, while she does not really make a living wage and has no retirement savings or pension. I am committed to taking care of her, and I want to try thinking about our finances in a unified way. [more inside]
posted by ecsh on Feb 21, 2016 - 6 answers

Uncertainty about kids a good reason to stay unmarried?

We have a great relationship. For lots of reasons, it would make sense for us to get married in the near future. But she wants kids, and I'm not sure I do, or ever will. Would getting married be a bad idea, particularly if the likely alternative is to break up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2016 - 44 answers

Should I fight for my relationship for our daughter's sake?

How do you decide what is more important, to fight for your family, or to fight for what you believe in, which may never happen? [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 on Feb 17, 2016 - 41 answers

A mom, a grandma, an aunt. What do you call her in a sympathy note?

Angelica Smith has passed away. Albert was her son. You were her niece. You want to write a note to the Smith Family, but what to call aunt Angelica in the letter? "I'm sorry for the loss of your mother/grandmother" doesn't quite convey the love you feel. [more inside]
posted by a sock of sheep on Feb 11, 2016 - 11 answers

Sibling extremely dependent on increasingly frail parents

My parents are in their 70s. My 38-year-old sister has severe social anxiety and she is unnecessarily dependent on my parents as caretakers. I worry about my parents' health. How can I encourage my sister to be more independent? How can I encourage my parents to take a step back? How can I communicate to everyone that I will never take over the caretaking position and my sister needs to learn adult living skills? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2016 - 31 answers

Good morning, sunshine!

A friend of mine often says that he hates being a parent between 6 and 8 am (and I have to laughingly agree). Getting the children up, getting them dressed in seasonally appropriate clothing, delivering them to the educational institution of choice, dealing with whining and general lack of cooperation... aghhhh, I hate that this neverending struggle sets the tone for the day. So, parents of the Metafilter, what are your tricks, hacks and morning traditions that make your mornings with children great, or at least better?
posted by kitchencrush on Feb 10, 2016 - 34 answers

Low cost family vacation?

I don't really want to go to Disney again. Looking for ideas for a family vacation. [more inside]
posted by Ruki on Feb 9, 2016 - 33 answers

Supporting a seriously ill loved one without being intrusive or grim

My favorite cousin is in a pretty serious health battle. She's vitally important to me, to my wife, and to my kid (her godson). We've always seen her at least monthly and called her every week or so. But now she's going through the fight of her life and she's not even always telling us when she's been hospitalized or is otherwise struggling. We want to find a way to step up our support for her without being intrusive or making any grim assumptions about her prognosis. How do we do that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2016 - 12 answers

Miami Family Funtimes

My family is going on a Disney Cruise in April out of Miami! Yay! Before that, we want to spend a couple of days vacationing on land. But we have many questions. [more inside]
posted by Andrhia on Jan 30, 2016 - 5 answers

Book title where an object was passed down ending with Lincoln.

Years ago I read a fictional book in which a small object (I don't remember what. Maybe a ring? ) was passed down through several generations, being owned by some people that were good and some that were bad until it ended up with Lincoln's father, Tom, and his name in the book was written as Linkhorn. That's not much to go on and I don't remember if it was an adult or youth book. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
posted by mcbeitz on Jan 29, 2016 - 3 answers

Anne Frank's stepsister?

An article came up in my social media feed talking about Anne Frank's stepsister. Is there a journalistic reason for this? [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jan 29, 2016 - 13 answers

Disavowing Trump?

I'm curious and I've looked everywhere and haven't found anything. I was wondering if any of Mr. Trump's family members have distanced themselves from him and his racial and general incendiary remarks? [more inside]
posted by lasamana on Jan 27, 2016 - 11 answers

Extended Family Separation

Advice for surviving my wife's summer internship in another state. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2016 - 34 answers

How to deal with a loved family member with an addiction

My extended family always turns to me whenever there's a problem that they are having a hard time dealing with. Most of the time, I'm able to provide something based on research or I'm able to give helpful advice. This time, I need a little help. [more inside]
posted by hal_c_on on Jan 16, 2016 - 7 answers

Should I intervene in my brother's relationship? How?

My brother is behaving in ways that I consider emotionally abusive towards his long-term partner. She's on the cusp of moving across the country to be with him under questionable circumstances. I'm very alarmed by the patterns I'm picking up. What on Earth do I do, if anything? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2016 - 17 answers

Stop a cycle that technically isn't a cycle yet?

How to foster a household that is devoid of physical violence, including threats of violence? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2016 - 13 answers

Practical Plague Prophylaxis

I've been home looking after my wife today who had one of those 1-day vomiting illnesses. My toddler who seemed ok today just vomited all over me. Help me to not get sick too! [more inside]
posted by Joe Chip on Jan 14, 2016 - 12 answers

Help protecting my niece after coming out to her parents

I'm gay and my husband and I are concerned about the safety of our 13-year-old niece who is in a relationship with another girl. My husband's brother and sister-in-law have reacted very poorly to learning about this. What we can do for his niece? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 14, 2016 - 18 answers

Parent has cancer and I need help dealing

Parent has just been diagnosed with cancer. Quite apart from the emotional devastation, the administrative/family fallout burden is extremely hard to handle and there's just me doing it. Please help me figure out how handle this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 13, 2016 - 18 answers

Could this anger be due to ADHD?

How can I help my family deal with my adult brother's potentially violent behavior? I live several states away, and he recently started ADHD meds as an adult. [more inside]
posted by hyperion on Jan 9, 2016 - 16 answers

Which social obligation to attend?

I'm torn between conflicting events on the same night and am not sure which of two events to attend and which to cancel. Since there will be drinking at either (and I can't afford a cab or get a DD on short notice) I feel I must pick one or the other. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by MeFiMouse on Jan 9, 2016 - 41 answers

Fear of Antidepressants

Yesterday a dear friend had a come to Jesus talk with me and encouraged me to make an appointment with my doctor about going on an antidepressant. I have been advised to go on antidepressants in the past by therapists and other doctors, but have never taken the next steps because my family views being on medication as a personal failure/huge dangerous risk. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger on Dec 30, 2015 - 63 answers

Suicidal Nephew Possibly Moving In - No Job, No GED, No Car

My 18-year-old nephew tried to commit suicide two months ago, right before his birthday. At that time, and a couple times a couple years ago, my husband and I offered to let him come live with us. His mom wouldn't let him before he turned 18, and, after his suicide attempt, he chose to continue living with his mom. His mom just quit her job to move out of state, and the consensus has been that he'll come live with me and my husband. I've been open to it, until this past week or so. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2015 - 87 answers

How to deal with an opinionated, overbearing mom (re my kid & childcare)

My mom has many, many opinions on how we are caring for our son (from what we give him for breakfast to the chores he should have, ugh), and she loves to share them. All the time. Especially in emails (joy). Here's the situation: I am considering going back to work full time but I am sure my mom will voice her displeasure. [more inside]
posted by trillian on Dec 28, 2015 - 18 answers

Finding a relative using limited information

We've got two photos, a first name and potential surname, rough year and known location at that time, distinguishing marks and military rank. What are our options for finding out more about someone from the past with this amount of information? [more inside]
posted by terretu on Dec 27, 2015 - 5 answers

Am I about to seriously endanger my nephew's health?

My sister had her first baby a few months ago. She stressed the importance of getting vaccinated before meeting him, but between various obligations I completely forgot about getting a flu shot. I'm supposed to meet him tomorrow, and I have no idea what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2015 - 40 answers

My Mom Keeps Buying Me Expensive Jewelry I Never Wear

My mom spends a great deal each year on a piece of jewelry for me. The jewelry is never my style and I never wear it. Seeing her is enough for me during the holidays, I don't need expensive gifts. These jewelry items are becoming a wasteful tradition. I don't know what to say. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2015 - 21 answers

My skin can't get much thinner...

I used to have a pretty dark sense of humor, watch crime shows all the time with dead people and blood and guts and really was never bothered by any of this. I've always been a news junky, and I'd read about all sorts of crimes and murder etc. etc. and never be bothered in the least. Since having a baby, I can't even read a news headline about a person being harmed - particularly children. It seems obvious that this is baby related, but will it ever get better? And if not, can I acclimatize myself so I can exist in the world? [more inside]
posted by Toddles on Dec 19, 2015 - 27 answers

Suggestions for a family vacation — good balance of relax and activity?

Hey all, I'm looking to take a short vacation with my family somewhere next year, and we're looking for places that are a good balance of relaxing but still has some great activity options. Would like to relax on the beach (or a similar alternative) and also see some culture and do some activities. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by markbao on Dec 19, 2015 - 14 answers

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