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I am not bound to please thee with my answers...when it comes to career.

I graduated college last year with a degree in the science field. I have long had a passing interest in the healthcare field, and have had familial pressure to "become a doctor" even longer. It goes without saying that I decided to take an entry-level job related to healthcare. However, the more I see of healthcare, the less I like what I see, and the more I am reconsidering my future plans. The sources of the familial pressure, in turn, are getting more aggressive. (See inside.) [more inside]
posted by Seeking Direction on Apr 27, 2014 - 27 answers

Is it a good idea to live next door to a sibling?

My brother and I have the opportunity to buy two houses next to each other. We like each other. Is this a great idea or a terrible one? [more inside]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm on Apr 24, 2014 - 37 answers

should I attend estranged sister's babyshower?

Today I got a message from my brother inviting me to our older sister's baby shower on Sunday and saying that she would really like me to come. I'm torn about attending because ...well, my sister didn't actually invite me. It's at her place so obviously it's not a surprise shower. Instead she relied on our brother to do it. [more inside]
posted by mariisoul on Apr 19, 2014 - 27 answers

Trying to organize the family archive box...

Mu aunt has agreed to store all my grandpa's old photos and documents, if someone else can 'do something with it' first. That someone is me. Where do I start? [more inside]
posted by JoannaC on Apr 18, 2014 - 7 answers

My 75 year old father will be moving in with us.

What are the logistics of having a parent in so-so to mediocre health move in? He is currently in St. Louis, MO and my wife and I currently live in Johnson City, TN. [more inside]
posted by Groundhog Week on Apr 18, 2014 - 10 answers

how do i stop my parents dictating my life?

How do I keep my parents from being quite so upset, angry and unreasonable, while retaining control over my wedding, marriage and life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 22 answers

How to combat mental shutdown triggered by feelings of inadequacy.

So this will usually be in a family setting. I live quite far away from most members of my family (brothers, cousins etc). I look forward to seeing them but when I do something happens. For the first few hours everything is great, I'm happy to see them. We're getting on great. Then slowly but surely I start to feel that my life is inadequate, and that I am inadequate. Witty responses become sarcastic putdowns and insults. I feel like I'm taking things the wrong way. My own capacity for conversation and fun becomes subdued and almost entirely non-existent. I overthink every word. I feel completely mentally drained. And I wish they would leave as soon as possible! I know I was happy before the visit or stay. I know I never felt inadequate with any of my friends or work colleagues. But I feel really bad that I feel this way and I feel even worse in the actual situation. [more inside]
posted by razzman on Apr 16, 2014 - 11 answers

Parent may have cheated the other out of significant money. What to do?

I think one of my (divorced) parents may have withdrawn legally shared assets and the other parent may be unaware. What is my moral responsibility in this situation, or is it none of my business? Complexities inside. [more inside]
posted by corb on Apr 16, 2014 - 19 answers

Help Me Replace 'Raising Hope'!

My wife and I watch 4 shows together, Raising Hope, Cougar Town, Archer and Girls. Of the four shows, she is more into Girls than I am (although I love the show) and I am more into Archer than she is (she isn't a first language English speaker and they speak fast, plus references that are impossible for her to understand) but we both love Raising Hope and Cougar Town equally. The problem is that Raising Hope is no more and Cougar Town will likely not continue. What can we watch together? I think we are generally looking for a fairly light comedy with some kind of buddy/family elements. Generally more recent shows preferred, but they don't have to be totally current. Thanks!
posted by Literaryhero on Apr 13, 2014 - 29 answers

Help me help my brother learn how to be a better listener and friend.

My brother needs resources to help him learn to be a better listener and friend to those he cares about. [more inside]
posted by crunchysalty on Apr 11, 2014 - 4 answers

HR person at my company asked if I intend to have kids. What to do?

I was waiting with HR person and my manager for a meeting room to come free for a meeting about a project I want to start at work. HR manager casually asked about my upcoming wedding (I'm engaged and getting married soon), then asked if we'll have kids soon. How do I handle this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2014 - 48 answers

non-traditional parenting for dummies

What resources exist for non-romantic adult friends thinking about having a kid? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2014 - 16 answers

Being a good aunt to kids whose parents are divorcing

How can I be a good aunt to my 13-y-o niece and 14-y-o nephew as their parents split? I want to be someone they can use during this transition. [more inside]
posted by goofyfoot on Apr 1, 2014 - 7 answers

Is a second dog such a big deal?

My wife and I have a dog. She wants to adopt another one, I'm being very resistant. Are my reasons completely ridiculous? Are two dogs really better than one? [more inside]
posted by BlerpityBloop on Mar 31, 2014 - 53 answers

Easter weekend getaway!

Trying to find a place to go for a long weekend, within a four hour drive of northern RI. Complication: Easter weekend in the off season. [more inside]
posted by Ruki on Mar 26, 2014 - 4 answers

How do I get to know my parents as people?

After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Mar 26, 2014 - 21 answers

He ain't heavy...

How do I deal with an immediate family member with substance abuse problems at my upcoming wedding? When do I put my foot down? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2014 - 38 answers

Do I marry/have kids with longterm love if I'm not ready due to career?

I love my partner - we have known each other for over a decade and have been together for over five years. I am in my 30s and he wants to live together/get married and/or start a family. I have insisted we wait due to my graduate school (and later) career struggles. Now we are older and our time frame for children (if not settling down with children in mind later) is diminishing. I don't know the right thing to do - specifics inside... [more inside]
posted by partly squamous and partly rugose on Mar 21, 2014 - 25 answers

How to quell impending blog doom from Aunt Lisa

How do I ask my aunt not to write about me in her blog (specifically wondering about wording), and how do I politely stick to my guns if she pushes back? Snowflakes after the fold. [more inside]
posted by horizonseeker on Mar 17, 2014 - 27 answers

Sanity check on teenagers and their whims, please!

We have a teenager that wants to visit his internet girlfriend and is being increasingly pressuring. We're resistant, feel that we are right in being resistant, but just wanted to check whether we're being reasonable or not. So, given the details (and SO MANY DETAILS) below, should we be stopping this teenager visiting his girlfriend in another country? Or should we let him go? [more inside]
posted by sockpuppettastic on Mar 17, 2014 - 68 answers

Keeping relationship with my dad, minus one of his kids?

I think my half-sister has some sort of personality disorder, and I want to limit her involvement in my life going forward. But I still want to have a relationship with our mutual father... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2014 - 11 answers

What do you do when reason fails?

(Or, How I Learned Not to Meddle With the Affairs of Others) Someone is incredibly angry with another party, and you are caught in the middle. You may not know the entire picture, but you've seen enough to conclude that the Angry Person is letting his emotions get the best of him, even if he occasionally raises some good points. You have tried reasoning with Angry Person but he just dishes out comeback after comeback. You are exhausted with the drama and it seems like Angry Person has just begun gaining momentum. What do you do when reason fails? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by bigasthesky on Mar 7, 2014 - 20 answers

Help needed with ancient Family Tree Maker file formats: TRT & IDX

I've inherited some very old Family Tree Maker TRT and IDX files now but find no version that can read them. I'm looking for someone who has an old version of FTM which can read the TRT & IDX files and export the data in the standard GEDCOM format. Please help! [more inside]
posted by queue_strategy on Feb 28, 2014 - 7 answers

I didn't mean to be a condescending bitch. Yikes....

After my grandma lost her shit with me last night, she's calmed down enough to admit to my father today that she feels like I can be really condescending sometimes. Eek. This is a piece that I want to work on improving, while I'm also learning to be much more on guard whenever I'm around my grandma. Can you help me be less of an annoyingly (unintentionally) condescending/smug person? Ugh. The worst. [more inside]
posted by ohyouknow on Feb 24, 2014 - 52 answers

How to find independance with a visual deficit?

I have low vision and I cannot drive because of it. I feel imprisoned and this is a last ditch effort to see if there is some solution (or partial solution) to help me gain more independence. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 24, 2014 - 17 answers

Help me help a friend learn how to help himself and not feel helpless

I have a friend (Steve) that seems to be unable to try and help himself get along in life when certain problems come up. He's mentioned more than a few times he's not happy where he's at and I've been trying to help when I can. About a year ago when we first talked on this he brought up the matter of not having finished highschool cuasing the problem in a big way. I knew a thing or two about some free programs so I pointed him in the right direction and he took it upon himself to get on it, get it done and move forward. Now since he got his GED back in fall, it seems like I and our small circle of friends are finding out a few other things that are causing this problem Steve's problem to come back with a vengeance. [snowflakes and the like ahead.] [more inside]
posted by ThrowbackDave on Feb 23, 2014 - 8 answers

Oldest artifact passed down through a family

What is the oldest family heirloom still in possession of the family, not a museum? [more inside]
posted by candasartan on Feb 23, 2014 - 12 answers

Considering move to Snohomish, WA. Difficulty level: mixed-race family.

My wife and I are considering moving to Snohomish (county), WA for work. She recently got a postgraduate degree in Library Science and is having trouble finding work where we currently live on the East coast (too many qualified people, too few jobs of the sort she's looking for). Pertinent details: I'm white, my wife is black, and we currently live and work in a very racially diverse urban area where couples like us are a common sight. We currently have no children but plan on starting a family in the next few years. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2014 - 9 answers

You Married? You Have Kids?

I got asked about my marital and family status in a job interview. Now what? [more inside]
posted by dortmunder on Feb 19, 2014 - 16 answers

Getting our shit at LEAST in a diaper or something

OH HAY it's another prenatal question. Pursuant to getyourshittogether.org, I am trying to put those pesky ducks in a row before August. What kinds of documents, topics, etc. should we include in an estate plan et. al.? And what should we add (e.g. life insurance) to solidify things a bit more in case of Bad Things Happening? [more inside]
posted by Madamina on Feb 18, 2014 - 14 answers

How do I learn to live on my own?

I've never been close to either of my parents and was really only close to one set of grandparents. Well, the last of my grandparents died recently and I'm rapidly realizing just how alone I am. How do I come to terms with this? How do I proceed in having a happy and successful life in the knowledge that I'm really without a safety net? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2014 - 8 answers

Away We Go - Grandparents Included!

My partner and I are pregnant and looking for a place to make our permanent home. The sitch? My parents are coming with us. And while we think it's pretty awesome of them, it's making location hunting that much more complicated. [more inside]
posted by givennamesurname on Feb 15, 2014 - 19 answers

How to love the hater?

What should I do about the bigotry of close family members? [more inside]
posted by TheGoodBlood on Feb 15, 2014 - 18 answers

Living with a Family Mental Illness

My younger brother has been living with a schizophrenia-like mental illness for about a year. It's hard for me to interact with him. I'm looking for perspectives from those who've had loved ones with mental illnesses, and books or other resources that will help me better relate to him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 15, 2014 - 13 answers

I'm doing the "right" thing but I feel trapped and resentful.

I am watching my stepson's daughter every other weekend and I don't want to anymore. [more inside]
posted by cherrybounce on Feb 12, 2014 - 37 answers

GSOH is killing my love life.

My stepson revealed the greatest stressors in his life is my self-deprecating sense of humor. What can I say? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2014 - 53 answers

Mother got a job in my workplace behind my back.

I have been working a steady job at a fairly close-knit company for about 3 years, and was recently promoted. My mother applied behind my back and got a job in the same company. We do not get along. Should I quit? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 7, 2014 - 31 answers

Estranged parents threatening to call police

I'd just like opinions on how to handle the potential situation of a police officer and relative showing up at my apartment at the request of other family members. More relevant details inside: [more inside]
posted by velebita on Feb 4, 2014 - 18 answers

How to respond to this kind of venting/anger?

How do you respond to family members venting/unloading on you? This past week, my mother and I kept playing phone tag, which culminated in her blowing up at me. I am sick of repeating this behavior pattern. Pertinent details: [more inside]
posted by nakedmolerats on Jan 29, 2014 - 35 answers

Oh brother, don't hate me

I've decided to skip my brother's wedding, for very good reasons. Help me figure out how to talk to him about this - it gets long, sorry. [more inside]
posted by guessthis on Jan 27, 2014 - 62 answers

Do I completely change my family's life for a dream job opportunity?

I have been offered a dream career position. All signs indicate that I will excel at the job, and in a few years I may be in a technical leadership position with amazing potential and significant rewards. However, it will require my wife and I to move across the country, away from family and friends. How do we make such a difficult choice? [more inside]
posted by RobotNinja on Jan 26, 2014 - 46 answers

Family of three, two last names. Problem?

When I got married I never changed my last name. We're pregnant now (yay!), and thinking the baby will have my last name. Dad will likely big picking kiddo up from daycare/school a lot and we'll be traveling internationally a lot (Oz-US). How big a deal is it if dad has a different surname? [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Jan 25, 2014 - 43 answers

I feel like I’m not good enough. How can I battle my depression

I’m a 25 year old female and have been going through a lot of depression over the past year, mostly in the areas of finance and romance. [more inside]
posted by summertimesadness1988 on Jan 25, 2014 - 19 answers

choose: job and lifestyle OR friends and family

Which would you choose: a great job and lifestyle OR being close to your family and friends? Especially if you really can't have both at the same time...? [more inside]
posted by elizamina on Jan 25, 2014 - 33 answers

Dealing with stress and comparmentalization.

Problems with the SO, family acting irrationally and Career in a turbulent state. Help me find a way of dealing with the stress! [more inside]
posted by perspicaturous on Jan 23, 2014 - 13 answers

Wedding gift for the adult sister I'm just getting to know

At age 43, I found my birth family. (Original post. MeTa.) In addition to my birth mother and many other relatives, I've gained an adult sister. I'm now 44 and she's 29. We're slowly getting to know each other. My birth mother informed me the day we met last June that I'd be going to my sister's (up until then her only daughter, as far as the world knew) wedding in Key West in March. I was so thrilled by the whirlwind of everything, and I wanted to keep the hoopla surrounding my integration into the family as minimally disruptive to her planning the big event, that I've kind of forgotten something important until now: What on earth should I get her as a wedding present? [more inside]
posted by ImproviseOrDie on Jan 17, 2014 - 28 answers

How do I decide if I want us to have a baby?

I'm having a difficult time deciding whether I want my wife and I to get pregnant. She is very into it, but I have mixed feelings. How do I decide if I'm ready? [more inside]
posted by jsharke on Jan 14, 2014 - 60 answers

Help clueless future parents buy the right home to raise kids in!

As future parents and first time homebuyers, what aren't we thinking about, or under-emphasizing/over-emphasizing, in trying to pick a home to raise (two) kids in?  What should we consider in deciding on house versus condo, location, neighborhood, size, layout, features, etc? [more inside]
posted by EmilyClimbs on Jan 10, 2014 - 36 answers

Mentally unstable sister, I fear for her young children

Background: My sister (38) has a story of emotional instability and I fear for my niece (8) and baby nephew (Down syndrome). My sister was molested by my father when she was in her late teens, which might have something to do with her current condition. She is extremely dependent on (and at the same time very hostile to) my mother. My mother (divorced, late 60s), in turn, is struggling all by herself to help her daughter and the little children, while having to deal with lack of money and her own (physical) health issues. [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Jan 8, 2014 - 16 answers

Important aspects of planning for your family

Hi all, Belated Happy New Year everyone! I am a 32yr old single mother of a beautiful 1yr old, and this year I’ve decided to plan ahead to help me fulfill my parenthood responsibilities to the best. We are a US middle-class family of two. Originally not from this country, I need to research several important aspects of planning for a future here. I hope to get some useful suggestions from those of you who are savvy about these things :-) [more inside]
posted by Spice_and_Ice on Jan 6, 2014 - 15 answers

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