532 posts tagged with Family by Anonymous.
Displaying 1 through 50 of 532.

What are my options for this family dilemma?

I am getting married in August. I'm very excited to be married, have not much enjoyed the planning process. I am at a loss for how to proceed with my parents after a wedding related disagreement and would like to get some feedback on possible responses. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2016 - 47 answers

Grieving family from a distance

How do you do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2016 - 10 answers

Family member in serious legal trouble. Should I lawyer up?

An immediate family member has been arrested and charged with a felony. I want to protect myself and my spouse and avoid involving ourselves in the situation to the greatest extent possible. Unfortunately, there is a complicating factor. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 23 answers

Formerly abusive parents who are now elderly and wanting forgiveness

Growing up, my family was squarely middle class. But that didn’t make it easy. My father was an alcoholic with a vicious temper. He was incredibly emotionally abusive, and on occasion, he was physically abusive. Think “The Great Santini”, minus the military elements. And minus the supportive mother. My mother – whom my father abused just as much as he did us – put up with every inch of it. What’s more, she basically took it out on us children, keeping herself cold and distant while never once acknowledging his faults. Now they’re dying, and man, are the guilt trips heavy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 60 answers

Sick, estranged parent and toxic family

Estranged parent is ill. Toxic family member has moved in. Advice on how to convey caring while maintaining safety is needed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2016 - 18 answers

Should I rock the boat?

I have written a letter to my mother in which I try to show her that her marriage to my father is not what it claims to be, and that the promised happy times that are always just around the corner are probably never going to come. Should I send it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 19, 2016 - 43 answers

Help me make coming out to my parents as bearable as possible

I've managed to put off coming out to my parents as transgender for close to a year now. I'm 22 and have spent the majority of the last 4 years studying and volunteering abroad. Coming home last summer (to live with my parents, I should add) I thought I'd finally felt prepared enough to tell them what I'd been trying so desperately to hide from them. Over nine months later now I still haven't "gotten around to it", I guess. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2016 - 10 answers

How do you know it's the right time to have a baby?

I am 29, my husband is 38. I have a year left in my technical program. In the past few months I've felt like I NEED NEED NEED A BABY. I can't decide if we should go for it or wait a year. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2016 - 27 answers

Uncertainty about kids a good reason to stay unmarried?

We have a great relationship. For lots of reasons, it would make sense for us to get married in the near future. But she wants kids, and I'm not sure I do, or ever will. Would getting married be a bad idea, particularly if the likely alternative is to break up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2016 - 44 answers

Sibling extremely dependent on increasingly frail parents

My parents are in their 70s. My 38-year-old sister has severe social anxiety and she is unnecessarily dependent on my parents as caretakers. I worry about my parents' health. How can I encourage my sister to be more independent? How can I encourage my parents to take a step back? How can I communicate to everyone that I will never take over the caretaking position and my sister needs to learn adult living skills? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2016 - 31 answers

Supporting a seriously ill loved one without being intrusive or grim

My favorite cousin is in a pretty serious health battle. She's vitally important to me, to my wife, and to my kid (her godson). We've always seen her at least monthly and called her every week or so. But now she's going through the fight of her life and she's not even always telling us when she's been hospitalized or is otherwise struggling. We want to find a way to step up our support for her without being intrusive or making any grim assumptions about her prognosis. How do we do that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2016 - 12 answers

Extended Family Separation

Advice for surviving my wife's summer internship in another state. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2016 - 34 answers

Should I intervene in my brother's relationship? How?

My brother is behaving in ways that I consider emotionally abusive towards his long-term partner. She's on the cusp of moving across the country to be with him under questionable circumstances. I'm very alarmed by the patterns I'm picking up. What on Earth do I do, if anything? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2016 - 17 answers

Stop a cycle that technically isn't a cycle yet?

How to foster a household that is devoid of physical violence, including threats of violence? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2016 - 13 answers

Help protecting my niece after coming out to her parents

I'm gay and my husband and I are concerned about the safety of our 13-year-old niece who is in a relationship with another girl. My husband's brother and sister-in-law have reacted very poorly to learning about this. What we can do for his niece? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 14, 2016 - 18 answers

Parent has cancer and I need help dealing

Parent has just been diagnosed with cancer. Quite apart from the emotional devastation, the administrative/family fallout burden is extremely hard to handle and there's just me doing it. Please help me figure out how handle this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 13, 2016 - 18 answers

Suicidal Nephew Possibly Moving In - No Job, No GED, No Car

My 18-year-old nephew tried to commit suicide two months ago, right before his birthday. At that time, and a couple times a couple years ago, my husband and I offered to let him come live with us. His mom wouldn't let him before he turned 18, and, after his suicide attempt, he chose to continue living with his mom. His mom just quit her job to move out of state, and the consensus has been that he'll come live with me and my husband. I've been open to it, until this past week or so. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2015 - 87 answers

Am I about to seriously endanger my nephew's health?

My sister had her first baby a few months ago. She stressed the importance of getting vaccinated before meeting him, but between various obligations I completely forgot about getting a flu shot. I'm supposed to meet him tomorrow, and I have no idea what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2015 - 40 answers

My Mom Keeps Buying Me Expensive Jewelry I Never Wear

My mom spends a great deal each year on a piece of jewelry for me. The jewelry is never my style and I never wear it. Seeing her is enough for me during the holidays, I don't need expensive gifts. These jewelry items are becoming a wasteful tradition. I don't know what to say. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2015 - 21 answers

My relationship with my brother is increasingly untenable

My brother is an alcoholic/rageaholic and I'm working on cutting him out of my life - this is wreaking havoc on all my family relationships. I'm frightened to travel home for Christmas, but not sure what to do to get around the holiday. My instinct is not to go. My therapist suggests my brother and I schedule separate holiday celebrations with my parents. How do i do this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2015 - 78 answers

How to Deal With My Mother (Not Just Holiday Edition)

I've always had a strange relationship with my mother and the holiday season obviously makes it harder. I live overseas and today I learned my cousin died two days ago .. via my mother putting up an In Memoriam video on FB. It's the latest blow in a long series of disappointments. I'd appreciate advice on how to deal with a mother who both pulls me in and keep pushing me away. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2015 - 24 answers

Leaving a dream job for a better quality of life

About a year and a half ago, I was offered an absolute dream job opportunity with a company I obsess over. I feel like the things I am doing have the chance to change the world in at least a small way, and I am well respected and valued in my organization. I have direct access to VIPs that others would love the chance to have a single coffee with. But, it's incredibly stressful at times and has a poor work-life balance. Should I leave this job for an almost-as-cool job that might be better for my family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 25, 2015 - 18 answers

Brother & Sister-in-law becoming distant from family.

I have a younger half-brother who got married 2-3 years ago with a woman that he met at work. The two of them got married in court, and I had no idea that this even took place up until someone told me about it. It was either a family relative or someone else who told me. The two of them are introverted people who kept to themselves. The sister-in-law is a quiet person who was fully accepted by our family. The two of them eventually bought a house, and had a child at the beginning of this year. Everyone was excited about the new munchkin especially our parents. However, it was brought to my attention that the two couple have been very distant for the following reasons. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 25, 2015 - 52 answers

How do I cope with being the estranged one?

Today my sibling has decided to cut ties with me. I am devastated and at an utter loss on how to handle some of the finer social details. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2015 - 19 answers

Contesting a will

My mother recently died. I acted as her live-in carer, to varying degrees, over the last 11 years (mainly the last few years). Do I have a reasonable case upon which to contest the will's equal apportionment of the estate? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2015 - 24 answers

Can/should I avoid visiting my hometown indefinitely?

About five years ago, shortly after my 21st birthday, I was drugged and sexually assaulted by a prominent, beloved person from the rural community where I grew up. My parents still live in the same town, and desperately want me to visit. Potentially running into my rapist is... not a can of worms I want to open. Neither is explaining the situation to my parents. How should I handle this? (trigger warning -description of sexual assault under the cut) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 9, 2015 - 13 answers

My mother's passive aggression hurts me. How to deal?

My mom is a lovely, intelligent, caring person. She also has lifelong untreated dysthymia. What's the best way to deal with her frequent, subtle passive aggression? (Wall of detail inside, feel free to skip to TL;DR if you have general advice for coping with passive aggression in family context.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2015 - 21 answers

Help me work out my boundaries and communicate them to my sister

My sister is moving from our home country to my city, where I’ve lived for several years. She appears to expect that she can stay on my sofa indefinitely whilst looking for work. I don’t want this and have tried to push back, but it doesn’t seem to be getting through. Want to set boundaries kindly and consciously. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2015 - 38 answers

Much worse than I thought.

I've kept my distance and set boundaries, but I just learned my family situation is much worse than I ever realized. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2015 - 6 answers

How to talk to kids about a parent going to prison?

What are some good guidelines for talking to kids about their parent's upcoming prison term? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 9 answers

How do I manage the mom calls?

I'm an adult. My mom calls nearly every day. Her calls are almost always at least an hour long. This is extremely draining for me. How do I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 37 answers

What do I need to know about future partial inheritance?

I may inherit 1/3 of a large parcel of property with a home on it valued at well over 1 million today (not including all its contents). What do I need to know about this possible future inheritance on this property which is not yet paid off? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2015 - 12 answers

How to receive a gift that embarrasses me

My parents are about to give me an embarrassing birthday gift. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2015 - 35 answers

Should I ask my uncle about his Big Secret car crash from 50 years ago?

This AskMe from 2010 is me. When I wrote that, I had just heard about a car crash my uncle was allegedly in when he was in his early 20s, where he was driving and a passenger died. I never asked about the crash and a newspaper search didn't pull anything up at the time. But I recently stumbled upon an old newspaper article that confirmed it. I don't know what to do, or not do, with this information. He has never even hinted about anything like this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2015 - 61 answers

Aging, depressed parents in another country

A few years ago my parents, who immigrated to the US (where I was born and raised) moved back to their home country, which is in the Middle East. I'm still in the US. About a year and a half ago my only sibling died unexpectedly, causing all three of us untold amounts of grief. Now they're old, tired, and depressed in a distant country and I don't know what to do. What can I do to improve/feel better about this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2015 - 6 answers

should I stay or should I go

My cousin is getting married abroad, and I don't want to go. I can't come to a decision. It's not a big financial/time strain, but I don't want to go, and don't know how to respond. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 32 answers

The Cycle Continues

Are my kids forever damaged? Can I teach them to show love? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 28 answers

Cross-cultural family problems with elderly parents

My parents and I are simply not getting along and I’m struggling to stay true to myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2015 - 12 answers

"Hey Dad, I Didn't Know You Cared!" or How to Reply?

My biological dad suddenly emailed me out of the blue. I have only been approached by him one other time. I am not exactly sure how to proceed here. Prepare for wall of text as my family history is straight out of the Jerry Springer Show. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2015 - 59 answers

Cross-cultural relationship, family problems

We are planning a future together... If only my family would accept him in spite of his race and religion. Snowflakes entail. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2015 - 20 answers

Kill 'em with kindness strategy is not going to work on me.

Have I lost perspective here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2015 - 50 answers

I am feeling stuck in a serious rut. How to reboot?

In my mid-20s, going nowhere, full of shame. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2015 - 18 answers

Help me shut down conversations

I'm related to a person of moderate fame in a (global) community I'm part of. We share a last name. When people ask me my name, I don't tell them my last name, but if it comes up, they ask "Oh, are you related to [famous relative]?" How do I gracefully shut down, redirect, or prevent this conversation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2015 - 55 answers

Perfect storm of familial dysfunctionality--need solutions for sanity

Family dynamics are slowly driving me up the wall, but I can't bear to let things wind destructively. How can I cope without being caught in the storm? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2015 - 13 answers

on a self-perpetuating downward spiral

I am having somewhat of a huge existential crisis at the moment after just exiting a 5-year serious long-term romantic relationship, one that I was hoping would be permanent and committed. I am having trouble coming to terms with the setup of my life and the course it is taking. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2015 - 15 answers

How do you get someone who likes you to stop harassing you?

My brother's too much for me to handle. How can I get him to stop calling and showing up so often? Simply telling him not to do it isn't working; he keeps coming up with dumb excuses for doing it. Though I hate the word 'creepy', what he's doing is what many would consider just that. And his behavior is almost stalker-like. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2014 - 22 answers

Mental Health for a Teen in BFE

Apparently, my nephew witnessed a friend commit suicide and is now falling apart. I'm 2500 miles away and his parents don't seem motivated to get him some help. They live in the middle-of-nowhere. How can I get him hooked up with some help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 10, 2014 - 13 answers

Need help figuring out child custody logistics across the border

Long story short, my wife and I are separating and I may try to find work and live in the US (I'm currently in Canada and a Canadian citizen). I'm trying to hear from others who have shared custody of their children where their ex- lives in another country. My situation is across the US/Canada border but I'm interesting in hearing other experiences as well. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I avoid supporting my aging father?

My father is aging, with heart problems and developing dementia. I am generally a conscientious person, but I'm staring down the necessity of supporting him like the barrel of a gun. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2014 - 39 answers

Finding out about a half-sibling from a parent's affair

25-year-old woman here. My father confessed I have a 21-year-old half-sister that he had from a long affair. A half-sister he is in touch with and still, in some ways, financially supporting. I'm having a hard time processing this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2014 - 28 answers

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