511 posts tagged with Family by Anonymous.
Displaying 1 through 50 of 511.

Leaving a dream job for a better quality of life

About a year and a half ago, I was offered an absolute dream job opportunity with a company I obsess over. I feel like the things I am doing have the chance to change the world in at least a small way, and I am well respected and valued in my organization. I have direct access to VIPs that others would love the chance to have a single coffee with. But, it's incredibly stressful at times and has a poor work-life balance. Should I leave this job for an almost-as-cool job that might be better for my family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 25, 2015 - 18 answers

Brother & Sister-in-law becoming distant from family.

I have a younger half-brother who got married 2-3 years ago with a woman that he met at work. The two of them got married in court, and I had no idea that this even took place up until someone told me about it. It was either a family relative or someone else who told me. The two of them are introverted people who kept to themselves. The sister-in-law is a quiet person who was fully accepted by our family. The two of them eventually bought a house, and had a child at the beginning of this year. Everyone was excited about the new munchkin especially our parents. However, it was brought to my attention that the two couple have been very distant for the following reasons. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 25, 2015 - 52 answers

How do I cope with being the estranged one?

Today my sibling has decided to cut ties with me. I am devastated and at an utter loss on how to handle some of the finer social details. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2015 - 19 answers

Contesting a will

My mother recently died. I acted as her live-in carer, to varying degrees, over the last 11 years (mainly the last few years). Do I have a reasonable case upon which to contest the will's equal apportionment of the estate? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2015 - 24 answers

Can/should I avoid visiting my hometown indefinitely?

About five years ago, shortly after my 21st birthday, I was drugged and sexually assaulted by a prominent, beloved person from the rural community where I grew up. My parents still live in the same town, and desperately want me to visit. Potentially running into my rapist is... not a can of worms I want to open. Neither is explaining the situation to my parents. How should I handle this? (trigger warning -description of sexual assault under the cut) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 9, 2015 - 13 answers

My mother's passive aggression hurts me. How to deal?

My mom is a lovely, intelligent, caring person. She also has lifelong untreated dysthymia. What's the best way to deal with her frequent, subtle passive aggression? (Wall of detail inside, feel free to skip to TL;DR if you have general advice for coping with passive aggression in family context.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2015 - 21 answers

Help me work out my boundaries and communicate them to my sister

My sister is moving from our home country to my city, where I’ve lived for several years. She appears to expect that she can stay on my sofa indefinitely whilst looking for work. I don’t want this and have tried to push back, but it doesn’t seem to be getting through. Want to set boundaries kindly and consciously. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2015 - 38 answers

Much worse than I thought.

I've kept my distance and set boundaries, but I just learned my family situation is much worse than I ever realized. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2015 - 6 answers

How to talk to kids about a parent going to prison?

What are some good guidelines for talking to kids about their parent's upcoming prison term? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 9 answers

How do I manage the mom calls?

I'm an adult. My mom calls nearly every day. Her calls are almost always at least an hour long. This is extremely draining for me. How do I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 37 answers

What do I need to know about future partial inheritance?

I may inherit 1/3 of a large parcel of property with a home on it valued at well over 1 million today (not including all its contents). What do I need to know about this possible future inheritance on this property which is not yet paid off? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2015 - 12 answers

How to receive a gift that embarrasses me

My parents are about to give me an embarrassing birthday gift. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2015 - 35 answers

Should I ask my uncle about his Big Secret car crash from 50 years ago?

This AskMe from 2010 is me. When I wrote that, I had just heard about a car crash my uncle was allegedly in when he was in his early 20s, where he was driving and a passenger died. I never asked about the crash and a newspaper search didn't pull anything up at the time. But I recently stumbled upon an old newspaper article that confirmed it. I don't know what to do, or not do, with this information. He has never even hinted about anything like this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2015 - 61 answers

Aging, depressed parents in another country

A few years ago my parents, who immigrated to the US (where I was born and raised) moved back to their home country, which is in the Middle East. I'm still in the US. About a year and a half ago my only sibling died unexpectedly, causing all three of us untold amounts of grief. Now they're old, tired, and depressed in a distant country and I don't know what to do. What can I do to improve/feel better about this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2015 - 6 answers

should I stay or should I go

My cousin is getting married abroad, and I don't want to go. I can't come to a decision. It's not a big financial/time strain, but I don't want to go, and don't know how to respond. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 32 answers

The Cycle Continues

Are my kids forever damaged? Can I teach them to show love? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 28 answers

Cross-cultural family problems with elderly parents

My parents and I are simply not getting along and I’m struggling to stay true to myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2015 - 12 answers

"Hey Dad, I Didn't Know You Cared!" or How to Reply?

My biological dad suddenly emailed me out of the blue. I have only been approached by him one other time. I am not exactly sure how to proceed here. Prepare for wall of text as my family history is straight out of the Jerry Springer Show. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2015 - 59 answers

Cross-cultural relationship, family problems

We are planning a future together... If only my family would accept him in spite of his race and religion. Snowflakes entail. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2015 - 20 answers

Kill 'em with kindness strategy is not going to work on me.

Have I lost perspective here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2015 - 50 answers

I am feeling stuck in a serious rut. How to reboot?

In my mid-20s, going nowhere, full of shame. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2015 - 18 answers

Help me shut down conversations

I'm related to a person of moderate fame in a (global) community I'm part of. We share a last name. When people ask me my name, I don't tell them my last name, but if it comes up, they ask "Oh, are you related to [famous relative]?" How do I gracefully shut down, redirect, or prevent this conversation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2015 - 55 answers

Perfect storm of familial dysfunctionality--need solutions for sanity

Family dynamics are slowly driving me up the wall, but I can't bear to let things wind destructively. How can I cope without being caught in the storm? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2015 - 13 answers

on a self-perpetuating downward spiral

I am having somewhat of a huge existential crisis at the moment after just exiting a 5-year serious long-term romantic relationship, one that I was hoping would be permanent and committed. I am having trouble coming to terms with the setup of my life and the course it is taking. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2015 - 15 answers

How do you get someone who likes you to stop harassing you?

My brother's too much for me to handle. How can I get him to stop calling and showing up so often? Simply telling him not to do it isn't working; he keeps coming up with dumb excuses for doing it. Though I hate the word 'creepy', what he's doing is what many would consider just that. And his behavior is almost stalker-like. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2014 - 22 answers

Mental Health for a Teen in BFE

Apparently, my nephew witnessed a friend commit suicide and is now falling apart. I'm 2500 miles away and his parents don't seem motivated to get him some help. They live in the middle-of-nowhere. How can I get him hooked up with some help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 10, 2014 - 13 answers

Need help figuring out child custody logistics across the border

Long story short, my wife and I are separating and I may try to find work and live in the US (I'm currently in Canada and a Canadian citizen). I'm trying to hear from others who have shared custody of their children where their ex- lives in another country. My situation is across the US/Canada border but I'm interesting in hearing other experiences as well. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I avoid supporting my aging father?

My father is aging, with heart problems and developing dementia. I am generally a conscientious person, but I'm staring down the necessity of supporting him like the barrel of a gun. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2014 - 39 answers

Finding out about a half-sibling from a parent's affair

25-year-old woman here. My father confessed I have a 21-year-old half-sister that he had from a long affair. A half-sister he is in touch with and still, in some ways, financially supporting. I'm having a hard time processing this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2014 - 28 answers

Generational impact of incest and intermarriage between cousins

My mother is convinced she is the product of an incentious relationship by her mother and her grandfather. Genetic testing proved inconclusice due to the poor quality of the samples available from her grandfather (my greatgrandfather) and her mother (my grandmother) as both were deceased by the time the testing was done. My parents are first cousins (my maternal and my paternal grandmothers are sisters). I have a child by my SO (not a relative). I constantly worry for his long-term health. This whole issue was extremly worrying to me during pregnancy, but I expected my worries to decrease once he is older, and especially as he continues to develop fine physically and mentally, developing right on target. He will soon turn 6 and I worry more than ever, every little quirk gives me sleepless nights. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 23, 2014 - 25 answers

Hereditary plate of beans: coping strats for overthinking family.

My overthinking things was making me unhappy... so I cut way back on it, and now I'm enjoying life more. Yay! But now I'm way less tolerant of the same behavior in family and loved ones; trying to ignore it leads to awkward, anxiety-producing silences. Boo. Insert your advice here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 6 answers

Help me escape an abusive family and its ghosts

I grew up in a toxic family. I have cut off contact from most members, but they go to great lengths to find me. This is mentally distressing and sometimes I want to give up. How can I keep them away from me? How can I get past this shame and abuse, especially if I am unable to afford therapy? How do I (not) tell people about my family relationships? Anon for privacy reasons, more detail and snowflakes below the fold. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 1, 2014 - 27 answers

Parental drama - and we're supposedly adults.

My (divorced) father is having a family party in a few weeks to celebrate his retirement. Due to recent actions he has taken against my mother, my younger brother will not attend, and is in fact not speaking to our father right now. Several people at the party are liable to bring this all up. How do I diffuse this drama so it doesn't blow up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2014 - 42 answers

Should I contact my biological father?

We've been completely out of touch since I was about twelve. I have a kick-ass step dad, so no old resentments or difficult questions in regard to my biological father, I'm mostly just curious about his life. He has recently turned 70 and I feel like if I decide to get back in touch, I should do it sooner rather than later. But should I? And if yes, how to best approach this? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2014 - 6 answers

Backed into a corner by niceness?

Around a year ago, I stopped communicating with part of my family. Since then, one member has persisted to try to maintain a relationship, but is doing so in a very boundary-pushing way. I feel caught between being a jerk or having boundaries trampled on! Help me boundary-setting mefi! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2014 - 21 answers

What happens when Mom breaks the rules?

My sister smokes pot recreationally. She has young kids who know about it and are really bothered by it. Where does a concerned aunt step in? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2014 - 40 answers

Disclosure vs. anxiety

I'm nearing the end of police academy for the largest police department in my area. An officer in a suburban department of my area was just murdered on a traffic stop. My fiance doesn't really follow local news and is unaware of the murder. Should I talk with him about it? Or should I continue to let it slide by unremarked unless he hears about it? What about the rest of my immediate family? If you were my family member would you want me to talk about this with you, or would it make you worried? Is it relevant that a LOT of the cops in my department have been in shootings or other critical incidents during their careers? I would honestly estimate that at least half the cops I've talked to have been involved in a shooting, keeping in mind that the cops doing training at the academy all tend to have 10, 15, or more years on. Is it relevant that my fiance has some general problems with anxiety? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I change my job and my country of residence?

I am facing a huge question that I don't know how to navigate and don't feel like I can talk to anyone about. The short story is that I have a precarious-feeling academic job in the Midwestern U.S. and applied for a job in an English-speaking country in the Southern Hemisphere. Today, I found out that I am on the short list for the job. And now I'm just not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2014 - 16 answers

Family drama about to come to a head. Help me head it off

I stopped speaking to a family member due to a unhealthy dynamic that had been going on for years now. We're both invited to a family event we both want to attend. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 20 answers

Family causes anxiety and I can't visit them.

My family causes me a lot of anxiety, to the point that staying away from them is a key part of keeping my sanity. They don't understand why I don't visit and won't discuss with me. How do I deal with the residual guilt? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 19 answers

Sexist dog? Protective dog? Traumatized dog?

Does a dog's behavior against his owner--in only about 50% of circumstances--warrant concern? The answers in this ask were helpful, particularly this one (there is much of item #3 that happens during play). But what I want to know is whether his dog's behavior around step-brother + a female might point to something from his past. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2014 - 11 answers

Need some of that quiet confidence.

I've been dating a great person for about 4 months. She's really outgoing, charming, attractive, and funny, and people just love her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 28, 2014 - 20 answers

How do you deal with family-in-law that's in a cult?

Short version: my fiancé's family is involved in a cult. He left the cult while in college, but they don't know. Most people don't know, except me and a few other friends. He hasn't told his family that he left, and he says he never will. My question is, what do we do when/if they want us to be more involved in their lives, without either getting involved in the cult or letting it slip that we're not part of it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 15, 2014 - 43 answers

Web developer salaries: help me distinguish hyperbole from reality

I'm considering a career change into web development and I'm hoping AskMe can help me sort through the abundance of relevant information and get a sense of what reasonable expectations might be. To put it succinctly, I'd like to make about $75-80k a year so that I can support my parents while still being able to save money for my own future. Is it probable for a self-taught developer to earn a salary in this range? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2014 - 9 answers

Taking on more hours with a baby on the way

I've been offered a job I'd like, but the hours are longer and there's a commute, and we're expecting a baby. Would I be crazy to take it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 1, 2014 - 25 answers

My brother seems to have some sort of deep seated issue with me.

My brother (four years younger than me, we are both in our 30s and single, I am a woman) and I have had a back and forth relationship - it was normal brother/sister stuff - fighting and whatnot but nothing crazy - until I went to college, when we were super close. Then when I graduated college, he started and dropped out and went to community college and finally graduated after 7 years, and is actually doing really well as a banker, though he's between jobs now. Our relationship deteriorated rapidly after I graduated college though, because he had a big issue with drinking and was living with our parents and using them, I thought. That was a long time ago, and I've tried really hard to see where he's coming from and I thought our relationship had improved, but now new issues have come up... (wall of text inside) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2014 - 35 answers

Misophonia with brother-in-law

My sister has a very nice husband who is a loud and emphatic chewer, who smacks his lips and says "mmmmm" upon putting anything in his mouth ever, and who always seems to be eating or drinking something he wants to share the experience of (I recognize this is not actually true, but it feels true). I have mild misophonia that centers around chewing sounds, and kind of want to throttle him or myself when this happens. I love my sister and her kid and even this guy when he's not having these table manners, but I find it really unpleasant to be around him during those times and it's very hard for me to actually enjoy a meal when we're eating it together. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2014 - 26 answers

Do I reach out to someone I've hurt but doesn't want contact from me?

Would it be upsetting to have someone who wronged you--really, really, really wronged you--to contact you out of the blue to apologize? Over a decade ago I was a stupid, histrionic, selfish, needy and endless pit of WANT and ME-ME-ME kind of a person. I alienated everyone I knew and ended up moving away from my hometown. It took me a long time but I grew up and I realize how terrible I was then. Now I want to apologize to some people I wronged. Is it out of line for me to send a letter when I was asked to make no further contact over a decade ago? I don't deserve or desire a reconciliation but I do want to apologize and thank them for putting up with me--instead of just being a destructive person, I'm sure I would have ended up a dead person had it not been for them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2014 - 56 answers

What to do when a family member is offensive, but you love them, anyway?

A beloved family member was unexpectedly (and likely unintentionally) racist. We called her out on it. She didn't react well. What to do next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2014 - 42 answers

Found my grandfather's birth family. Now what?

In the process of helping post my late grandfather's digitized papers online, I found his adoption paperwork (he made no secret of being adopted, but didn't talk about it much). It gave enough information that I was able to find that my grandfather had a brother, who apparently is still alive. I'm not sure what to do next; it's good to know there's more family out there (my father has few living relatives), but I'm not sure how happy others in my family will be with the reality, and the same may go for my grandfather's newly-discovered relatives. Advice would be helpful; details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2014 - 7 answers

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