97 posts tagged with Family and parents.
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Hereditary plate of beans: coping strats for overthinking family.

My overthinking things was making me unhappy... so I cut way back on it, and now I'm enjoying life more. Yay! But now I'm way less tolerant of the same behavior in family and loved ones; trying to ignore it leads to awkward, anxiety-producing silences. Boo. Insert your advice here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 6 answers

Plan to move to across the country for love. How do I tell my parents?

Since having a manic episode about a year and a half ago, my parents started treating me like I was a minor again (I'm almost 30 now). How do I most respectfully tell them that I'm am going to move without turning it into "I'M NOT ASKING FOR PERMISSION, DAMMIT: I'M MOVING AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME"? Thanks, mefites. [more inside]
posted by defmute on Sep 25, 2014 - 33 answers

Parental drama - and we're supposedly adults.

My (divorced) father is having a family party in a few weeks to celebrate his retirement. Due to recent actions he has taken against my mother, my younger brother will not attend, and is in fact not speaking to our father right now. Several people at the party are liable to bring this all up. How do I diffuse this drama so it doesn't blow up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2014 - 42 answers

Family causes anxiety and I can't visit them.

My family causes me a lot of anxiety, to the point that staying away from them is a key part of keeping my sanity. They don't understand why I don't visit and won't discuss with me. How do I deal with the residual guilt? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 19 answers

Web developer salaries: help me distinguish hyperbole from reality

I'm considering a career change into web development and I'm hoping AskMe can help me sort through the abundance of relevant information and get a sense of what reasonable expectations might be. To put it succinctly, I'd like to make about $75-80k a year so that I can support my parents while still being able to save money for my own future. Is it probable for a self-taught developer to earn a salary in this range? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2014 - 9 answers

Great lenguage irrelevat activities?

My wife is finally going to meet my family. Problem, they don't speak English, She doesn't speak Russian. What are good non speech dependent fun activities we can all do? [more inside]
posted by Sentus on Jun 9, 2014 - 28 answers

Parent may have cheated the other out of significant money. What to do?

I think one of my (divorced) parents may have withdrawn legally shared assets and the other parent may be unaware. What is my moral responsibility in this situation, or is it none of my business? Complexities inside. [more inside]
posted by corb on Apr 16, 2014 - 19 answers

I'm doing the "right" thing but I feel trapped and resentful.

I am watching my stepson's daughter every other weekend and I don't want to anymore. [more inside]
posted by cherrybounce on Feb 12, 2014 - 37 answers

Estranged parents threatening to call police

I'd just like opinions on how to handle the potential situation of a police officer and relative showing up at my apartment at the request of other family members. More relevant details inside: [more inside]
posted by velebita on Feb 4, 2014 - 18 answers

Oh brother, don't hate me

I've decided to skip my brother's wedding, for very good reasons. Help me figure out how to talk to him about this - it gets long, sorry. [more inside]
posted by guessthis on Jan 27, 2014 - 62 answers

Help clueless future parents buy the right home to raise kids in!

As future parents and first time homebuyers, what aren't we thinking about, or under-emphasizing/over-emphasizing, in trying to pick a home to raise (two) kids in?  What should we consider in deciding on house versus condo, location, neighborhood, size, layout, features, etc? [more inside]
posted by EmilyClimbs on Jan 10, 2014 - 36 answers

Should I cut off contact with parents who have dysfunctional marriage?

For as long as I can remember, my parents have nasty arguments with each other every few days, including shouting, harsh words, put-downs at each other. When I was a child, they involved me in their marital strife, and I feel damaged from it. I am now in my 30s. I've tried years of therapy for myself to learn how to not be bothered, but I am still very bothered. I want to reduce my contact with them to just occasional phone calls, but I am scared that we'll become estranged and they'll die, and then I'll regret it. Advice from MeFites who have reduced their contact with their parents? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on Dec 29, 2013 - 24 answers

How to interact with an unfamiliar new resident in my parents home?

A lovely, college-aged young woman who has had a very rough year is coming to live with my parents, whom I visit several times a year, often for extended periods of time (I live 900 miles away, but I'm a student with long vacations). I think this is great. However, I feel a little at sea for how to interact with her, and to prepare for this change, especially given the giant elephant in the room: the horrible event that happened which has caused her to need a new home. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2013 - 31 answers

National Lampoon's European Vacation Moocher

What's the age cutoff to expect to be able to tag along with your parents on a vacation? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Nov 25, 2013 - 34 answers

My fiancé dislikes my mother..,

My fiancé dislikes my mother. How big an issue will this be? What can I do to mitigate any future issues regarding this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2013 - 29 answers

Cutting off abusive parents AFTER they have tried to make amends?

My parents were abusive for over a decade of my life, profoundly and in many ways permanently impacting my physical health and emotional and social well-being. Since that time, they have apologized, but I am still incredibly angry and hurt by the choices they made. Could cutting off contact help me move on? Mefites who have been in similar situations, please share your experiences and suggestions for healing. More details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2013 - 46 answers

Resources to help my SO deal with emotionally abusive parents

I'm a Northern American living in a southern European country and married with a child to a local. My husband is a wonderful partner and father, and the textbook definition of someone who will give you the shirt off his back if you need it. Said Southern European country is very much family orientated. For all intents and purposes I think that's generally a fine thing. My in-laws are a horrible source of counterpoint ancedata and their latest outburst has been the proverbial straw across my back. I need resources and information to help me support my SO as well as help him take the final few steps to admitting to himself that they are abusing his sense of familial responsibility and overall caring nature. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 8, 2013 - 13 answers

How to best deal with and/or avoid estranged parents at a wedding?

I went "no contact" with my birth family years ago, but I will have to see and likely interact with all of them for the first time since then at my sister's wedding, which is happening soon. How can I make sure that I can ably address whatever might come up with ease and clarity? I am not looking to re-establish any sort of regular communication with them at all, I am just trying to figure out how to gracefully handle encountering them at a single event. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2013 - 50 answers

Please Help Me Decide If I Need Help

I am struggling with my relationship with my family. My parents are older (in their 70's) and things are not as bad as they were when I was young, but I still struggle with issues of blame and anger over what I consider to have been their borderline abusive treatment of myself and one of my siblings. I don't want to cut my family off, and I would dearly love to be free of these negative thoughts and feelings for once and for all, but every visit with them (and the weeks leading up to and following them) are a minefield for me. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2013 - 20 answers

Mummies and Daddies, Ghouls and Boys

Please help me come up with a - clever name- for a local parents with kids meet-up group. We're goths, we don't have special snowflakes, we have coal dust... [more inside]
posted by _paegan_ on Jun 20, 2013 - 32 answers

Wedding and controlling parents-- how to cope

I'm getting married in 10 days, and it's stressful for everybody involved, mostly because I have controlling parents who are intricately involved with every part of this. Any tips/advice for coping with this situation? Lots of culture-specific snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2013 - 45 answers

Name/domain for private photo network for parents.

Please help me pick a name and domain for our website/app. We're a private network for parents to upload, backup and share their kids' pictures. [more inside]
posted by signal on Apr 14, 2013 - 1 answer

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents.

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

Parents. Cheating. Way out of my depth.

My mom just found out my dad's been cheating on her. How do I deal with all of this from 3000 miles away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2013 - 27 answers

Second-time parenting, how does that work?

Tell me about your daily schedules, parenting logistics, etc., with a newborn plus a toddler or older child. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Mar 7, 2013 - 15 answers

How to arrange family vacation with adult siblings but without parents?

My sister (married, one child) and I (married, no kids) want to plan a joint family vacation. We do not want our parents (divorced, both remarried) to come. Our mom is extremely sensitive/dramatic, and we are hoping to avoid a major meltdown from her. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2013 - 16 answers

What to do in case of 'helicopter parents'?

I am a young adult woman living in the home she grew up in, with parents and siblings. My parents are NOT abusive - they have always provided me with a place where I felt safe and cared for. But the way they relate to me now that I've gone to college and come back has not changed since I was several years younger, and I think it's affecting me negatively. I need to figure out what my action plan is for establishing my independence, both materially and emotionally. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2013 - 78 answers

Which way past this impasse?

How do I reconcile my parents and my fiance? Should I even try? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 11, 2013 - 25 answers

How do I bank sperm for later use?

How do I bank my sperm for potential future parenting desires? [more inside]
posted by Borborygmus on Oct 19, 2012 - 4 answers

Stuck in the middle of spouse and parents

Stuck in the middle of spouse and parents - How to tell parents to lay off? How to support spouse while also seeing my parents/visiting my hometown when I want to? [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Aug 7, 2012 - 22 answers

Caregiving at a Distance

How can I get information about my mom's medical condition when I live in another state? [more inside]
posted by ottereroticist on Jul 17, 2012 - 8 answers

Money issues with family

Can you shed some light on this situation with my mom and her hints about her financial situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 7, 2012 - 33 answers

When to pull the plug?

Family Drama Filter: Please help me sort out this situation. My parents are very difficult people and I'm considering cutting off ties. Help. [more inside]
posted by floweredfish on May 1, 2012 - 50 answers

How do I communicate better with my dad?

I need some advice on how to communicate better with my dad and hopefully improve our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2012 - 11 answers

Breaking up is hard to do when it's family.

My dad cut all ties with me and my siblings and left the country. Now he's back and has repaired his relationship with my siblings...but not with me. What do I do? (It's a long one.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 6, 2012 - 32 answers

HELP!

Please help me figure out how to deal with my parents' financial situation and my mental health. [more inside]
posted by sock bandia on Feb 9, 2012 - 16 answers

Making My Own Misery

I need some wisdom to get the chip off my shoulder. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2011 - 54 answers

Learned the lessons, still doomed to repeat

Regarding family and friends, how have you been able to let go of dark/problematic pasts, and moved forward? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2011 - 15 answers

I mean I sure wouldn't want to know how often THEY get it on.

As an adult, how honest should one be with parents? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 24, 2011 - 41 answers

Stare down the emotional pit or look elsewhere?

How do you deal with difficult family situations without imploding? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2011 - 8 answers

Mother-in-law troubles

I need some help regarding my prospective mother-in-law's involvement in our lives. [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on Sep 12, 2011 - 24 answers

How do you deal with anti-intellectual parents?

How do you deal with anti-intellectual parents? [more inside]
posted by ziggly on Aug 10, 2011 - 33 answers

Half sister wants to meet us - what do I do?

My father recently revealed that he got someone pregnant before he met my mother, some 35 years ago. He knew his biological daughter existed for a long time, and didn't tell anyone. Now my half-sister is looking to meet our family... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2011 - 27 answers

When your family decides to skip your wedding...

How can I help my friends enjoy their wedding, despite a lot of family stress? [more inside]
posted by treehorn+bunny on Jul 22, 2011 - 5 answers

Can I keep my mother from visiting the maternity ward?

How inappropriate would it be to prevent my boundaries-challenged mother from visiting the hospital upon the birth of my child? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2011 - 55 answers

How can I deal with my alcoholic parents?

What are my opinions for dealing with my alcoholic parents while they spend the week with us? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 24, 2011 - 38 answers

Is this empty-nest role reversal normal? How can I stop it!??

I have weird feelings of guilt/empty-nest role reversal?? My parents are relatively young (dad is 54, mom is 57), and I just moved out a few months ago 500 miles away, and I am scared to death that something is going to happen to them and I won't be there to save them. Is this psychological torture completely crazy? [more inside]
posted by LemonGardot on Dec 30, 2010 - 16 answers

My Christmas sucked, how was yours?

Dad is on life support. He has no advance directive/living will. How do we make end-of-life decisions when none of us are capable of thinking clearly? [more inside]
posted by kella on Dec 24, 2010 - 23 answers

Oh, you don't need to stay for Christmas. Really...

How can I deal with Dad's sudden, one-sided announcement that his marriage to my mother is ending because he "reconnected" with his high school girlfriend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 25, 2010 - 17 answers

My father's religious and cultural beliefs, & my facebook account

A fundy Muslim father (and his extended family) with strong religious & cultural beliefs vs. his adult daughter's facebook account. How do I reconcile this? [more inside]
posted by overyourhead on Nov 22, 2010 - 96 answers

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