21 posts tagged with Family and conflict.
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How can I deal with problematic family while being a good ally?

As has been noted in many places, including in a recent comment I made on the Blue, this idea of cutting problematic family members loose is weighing heavily on my mind. [more inside]
posted by witchen on Oct 3, 2016 - 46 answers

My mother's passive aggression hurts me. How to deal?

My mom is a lovely, intelligent, caring person. She also has lifelong untreated dysthymia. What's the best way to deal with her frequent, subtle passive aggression? (Wall of detail inside, feel free to skip to TL;DR if you have general advice for coping with passive aggression in family context.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2015 - 21 answers

Should I avoid supporting my aging father?

My father is aging, with heart problems and developing dementia. I am generally a conscientious person, but I'm staring down the necessity of supporting him like the barrel of a gun. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2014 - 39 answers

What to do when a family member is offensive, but you love them, anyway?

A beloved family member was unexpectedly (and likely unintentionally) racist. We called her out on it. She didn't react well. What to do next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2014 - 42 answers

How do I handle two siblings ganging up on me? Fun fact: they're 30.

My two older siblings and brother-in-law are beyond irritated with me when all I've been doing is minding my own business and forging my path into adulthood. They are never short of criticisms and any attempts at satisfying them are futile. Things got way out of hand this weekend to the point I am either ousted from future family functions or there will be an awkward vibe/fake niceness. [more inside]
posted by HiphopAnonymous on May 12, 2014 - 34 answers

Please stop making me take sides

How can I navigate the breakup of my close friend with my sister, which is still causing problems years later? I’m caught in the middle trying to be friends with both and it’s very frustrating! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2013 - 44 answers

Every unhappy family .. how do I resolve my aversion to conflict?

I am the eldest child, have always been seen and portrayed by my family as attention-seeking, self-centred, a worrier, over-sensitive, over-serious etc. I thought I had got over this. However, the other night I had a discussion with my partner where he told me he feels hurt that I don't defend him or even believe him when he feels attacked/misunderstood by my family (My sister can be snooty and dismissive and self-absorbed like every-other 20something and my dad has zero social skills, and they have sometimes said things to him that I cringe at but I think he is being slightly paranoid - to complicate things, he also suffers from depression). This has made me realise that I try to avoid conflict with my family at all costs. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 24, 2013 - 6 answers

Need perspective on inter-family conflict

My mother and mother-in-law have had a falling out due to a misunderstanding on my mother-in-law's part. My mother-in-law lives with me and my mother is due to visit in the summer (she lives abroad). Before I collapse with stress, I need some external perspective on this issue. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2013 - 15 answers

So, is my reputation tarnished forever?

If I lie (a very big lie), can I ever redeem myself? [more inside]
posted by raintree on Jun 15, 2012 - 41 answers

How can I improve my relationship with the family?

Dad and I don't really get along, and I don't feel happy or comfortable in the same house as him. What can I do to make things better, short of moving out? [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on May 28, 2012 - 23 answers

How to overcome a family issue?

How should I ease myself out of the family conflict? [more inside]
posted by sanskrtam on Mar 12, 2012 - 9 answers

Being realistic about paternal relationship

How do I become comfortable with how my father chooses to be involved in my life (minimally, not of his own initiative) as an adult? What are the limits between healthy and compassionate effort on my part and a realistic acknowledgment of both of our limitations? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2012 - 8 answers

Canine complicating family dynamics

How do I address my parents' insistence on bringing a dog into our house when my wife is opposed to it? [more inside]
posted by Run.Faster on Dec 23, 2011 - 56 answers

I'd like not to have an argument, please

My mother threw out a number of things during a redecoration. She told me to look through them to make sure nothing precious was getting thrown out. The thing is, I thought I had plenty of time to do this before a planned trip to the thrift store a few weeks from now. I didn't realize that a number of these things would get thrown outside next to the garbage cans to get rained on. Among them was an irreplaceable (AFAIK) VHS tape of my late father competing in a TV quiz show. My mother cannot understand why this upsets me, has several arguments for why she is right, and I feel unable to cope with arguing about it. Please tell me what to say! [more inside]
posted by tel3path on Jul 10, 2011 - 41 answers

Top tips for dealing with crazy people?

How do you stay calm under (social) pressure? I'm looking for some tips on how to keep my cool when someone is really trying to wind me up and make me lose my temper. [more inside]
posted by rubbish bin night on Jun 2, 2011 - 28 answers

How can I make this trip with my family easier for me?

I will be spending a week on a small boat with my dysfunctional family. How can I prepare myself so that this is a tolerable, or even pleasant, experience? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2011 - 32 answers

Familial contents under pressure.

How do I help the members of my immediate family to accept that I have a casual relationship with family members that have been effectively disowned? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2010 - 37 answers

Should I, or should I not meet with my estranged relatives?

Should I, or should I not meet with my estranged relatives? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 16, 2009 - 23 answers

How can I make this relationship "healthy?"

Things with my parents are not good right now due to what I (thought) was a reasonable (although mishandled) decision. I knew it would be hard but wasn't expecting this; how do we deal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2008 - 31 answers

If there's drinking, crying and cops, well, then it must be Christmas

Should I go home for Christmas? (Warning: long family financial drama inside). [more inside]
posted by snickerdoodle on Dec 16, 2007 - 16 answers

Help for family conflict resolution?

ConflictResolutionFilter: We have a family friend who is an 85 year old woman and has been having problems with her two grown sons. They are both married with children, but classic daughter-in-law conflicts have led her sons to not have contact with her. [more inside]
posted by steve.wdc on Jul 12, 2007 - 12 answers

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