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1682 posts tagged with Family.
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Generational impact of incest and intermarriage between cousins

My mother is convinced she is the product of an incentious relationship by her mother and her grandfather. Genetic testing proved inconclusice due to the poor quality of the samples available from her grandfather (my greatgrandfather) and her mother (my grandmother) as both were deceased by the time the testing was done. My parents are first cousins (my maternal and my paternal grandmothers are sisters). I have a child by my SO (not a relative). I constantly worry for his long-term health. This whole issue was extremly worrying to me during pregnancy, but I expected my worries to decrease once he is older, and especially as he continues to develop fine physically and mentally, developing right on target. He will soon turn 6 and I worry more than ever, every little quirk gives me sleepless nights. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 23, 2014 - 22 answers

Abusive parents still blame me

My parents were abusive and awful. I recently tried to get back in touch out of a misplaced hope for connection. They blame me (!?) for making them look bad, among other things, and want me to apologize. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Oct 23, 2014 - 22 answers

where to escape the Texas heat with a toddler and infant?

the chirren, wife, and I want to escape the Texas summer heat next year and are trying to think about places we could go. Next summer we'll have a 3.5 yr old, and an 8 month old, and dread another summer (July & August) sweltering in the sun (100/38 daytime highs). I'm tasked with to find the intersection of all our wants/needs [more inside]
posted by youchirren on Oct 22, 2014 - 10 answers

How to fairly divide time between child and new husband?

I recently got married, having been a single parent beforehand for a long time. My daughter is used to a lot more of my time than she gets now. But my new husband has also never raised a child before and is also used to getting more time from partners than he gets now. How can I fairly resolve this? I feel like I'm being torn down the middle. [more inside]
posted by sockeroonie on Oct 21, 2014 - 39 answers

Determining the limit on how much to "help" family

How does one determine how much to help family (primarily financially) and where to draw the line? What about the ensuing guilt? [more inside]
posted by tz on Oct 20, 2014 - 20 answers

Post-Thanksgiving Family Entertainment

Last year after Thanksgiving dinner, my little 9 year old niece and I decided to entertain the family with two activities. All in all, a huge hit, everyone laughed til they peed, there was major family bonding going on, and OMG, how do we top that this year? [more inside]
posted by HeyAllie on Oct 14, 2014 - 12 answers

Is my sister abusing her husband? How do I help?

My sister is out of control and her behavior is hurting her husband (physically and emotionally) and children (only emotionally). I am not sure how to help anyone in the situation or where to turn for help. Is this none of my business? Do I have a responsibility to step in? [more inside]
posted by RingerChopChop on Oct 13, 2014 - 29 answers

Hereditary plate of beans: coping strats for overthinking family.

My overthinking things was making me unhappy... so I cut way back on it, and now I'm enjoying life more. Yay! But now I'm way less tolerant of the same behavior in family and loved ones; trying to ignore it leads to awkward, anxiety-producing silences. Boo. Insert your advice here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 6 answers

Not My Grandma

My husband's grandparent died. I'm wondering if I'm behaving in a decent way and need some advice. [more inside]
posted by Fairchild on Oct 5, 2014 - 15 answers

Help me escape an abusive family and its ghosts

I grew up in a toxic family. I have cut off contact from most members, but they go to great lengths to find me. This is mentally distressing and sometimes I want to give up. How can I keep them away from me? How can I get past this shame and abuse, especially if I am unable to afford therapy? How do I (not) tell people about my family relationships? Anon for privacy reasons, more detail and snowflakes below the fold. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 1, 2014 - 27 answers

What fun things can I do with my family in the UK in winter?

So, my brother and his wife are flying over from Australia, and my brother-in-law from India, in December. We're all Indian, and we generally get together (us and my parents) once a year or so for around a month. Usually the trips are in India and feature a few exciting things to look forward to: last time we stayed in a few resorts along beaches in South India, and stayed in a house in the country, a houseboat tour through backwater canals, that kind of thing. I'm wondering: what kind of similar-ish things can we book and where? [more inside]
posted by lethologues on Sep 28, 2014 - 10 answers

Plan to move to across the country for love. How do I tell my parents?

Since having a manic episode about a year and a half ago, my parents started treating me like I was a minor again (I'm almost 30 now). How do I most respectfully tell them that I'm am going to move without turning it into "I'M NOT ASKING FOR PERMISSION, DAMMIT: I'M MOVING AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME"? Thanks, mefites. [more inside]
posted by defmute on Sep 25, 2014 - 33 answers

Help me plan our perfect 13 people vacation!

There are 4 of us that have been friends for a lifetime, and we all now have families that we want to get together. There will be 8 adults and 5 kids varying in age from 1 year to 13 years. All boys. We are in our 30s. 3 sets of families live all across North Carolina, and one lives in Illinois. Where can we go for a family vacation with a soft budget of $2000? [more inside]
posted by katypickle on Sep 25, 2014 - 18 answers

How does a person change his relationship with toxic parents?

I don't want to be around my parents, but my guilt keeps me in contact with them. How can I get to a place where I don't feel bad about not interacting with them unless it's on my terms? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Sep 24, 2014 - 19 answers

Parental drama - and we're supposedly adults.

My (divorced) father is having a family party in a few weeks to celebrate his retirement. Due to recent actions he has taken against my mother, my younger brother will not attend, and is in fact not speaking to our father right now. Several people at the party are liable to bring this all up. How do I diffuse this drama so it doesn't blow up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2014 - 42 answers

How do I reconnect with my younger brother? Esp. at his wedding.

My younger brother is getting married this week, and I've flown half way across the world to attend the wedding. Gearing up for this trip though, it's become obvious that we've drifted apart. More so than my relationship with other family members. Is there anything worth trying to help us reconnect? Or is this just part of growing up? [more inside]
posted by linus587 on Sep 22, 2014 - 29 answers

Should I contact my biological father?

We've been completely out of touch since I was about twelve. I have a kick-ass step dad, so no old resentments or difficult questions in regard to my biological father, I'm mostly just curious about his life. He has recently turned 70 and I feel like if I decide to get back in touch, I should do it sooner rather than later. But should I? And if yes, how to best approach this? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2014 - 6 answers

Baby sleep problems galore with generally-great baby! What to do?

12.5-month-old Supercoolbaby was a very good sleeper from early on (she slept through the night at 2 months and carried on with that until about 10 months, but never more than 2 wakeups during the night), but recently some problems have developed. Would love your thoughts/advice. Many details within. [more inside]
posted by supercoollady on Sep 15, 2014 - 18 answers

Resources for teaching kids about dogs?

We may find ourselves temporarily caring for an ailing family member's dog. I've had dogs in the past, but never a little dog and the ones I had were being trained as service dogs rather than family pets. I'm looking for books that can help my kid adjust to life with a dog, as well as explain basic training and care principles.
posted by snickerdoodle on Sep 15, 2014 - 4 answers

Should I cash out my golden ticket?

My home is worth at least 2x my mortgage. Should I sell or hold on? [more inside]
posted by momochan on Sep 13, 2014 - 20 answers

Backed into a corner by niceness?

Around a year ago, I stopped communicating with part of my family. Since then, one member has persisted to try to maintain a relationship, but is doing so in a very boundary-pushing way. I feel caught between being a jerk or having boundaries trampled on! Help me boundary-setting mefi! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2014 - 21 answers

What happens when Mom breaks the rules?

My sister smokes pot recreationally. She has young kids who know about it and are really bothered by it. Where does a concerned aunt step in? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2014 - 40 answers

Resources for helping a young trans man in the family

My 13 year old nephew's just come out (only to his best friend and mother so far) as trans and seems relieved and happier. I'm terribly happier for him; it's been a rough couple of years for reasons beyond normal early adolescence. How can I best support him? [more inside]
posted by The Gaffer on Sep 6, 2014 - 10 answers

Travelling to Japan, in November

We (myself, husband and 10 year old son) are hopefully making a return trip to Japan in November. While we were planning on mainly visiting Shikoku and Kyushu, we are open to suggestions. MeFi has been awesome on the travel front before, so hoping you can help again. [more inside]
posted by Megami on Sep 5, 2014 - 15 answers

Is it weird to cry at a funeral/memorial?

A not very close family member recently died and I would like to attend their memorial. However, I know that I will cry during the memorial and I feel weird about that. [more inside]
posted by chaiminda on Sep 1, 2014 - 32 answers

I want to help, but I want to help me out of this situation more

Family member asked me to help Christian dude struggling with gay feelings. After agreeing to meet him I see his beliefs are way more extreme than I'm comfortable with. What do? [more inside]
posted by yellowbinder on Sep 1, 2014 - 25 answers

How can I convince my mum to quit smoking once and for all?

She recently fell off the wagon after quitting for several years. Is this a lost cause? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Aug 31, 2014 - 27 answers

Looking for ways to connect with other kids remotely as a caring friend

My friend just passed away due to heart attack, leaving 7 years old twins with their Dad. We have a lot of caring friends who want to help their family. The family have plenty of money, toys, dress, ect. So we are looking for ways to love them. We all live in different parts of America. [more inside]
posted by akomom on Aug 29, 2014 - 5 answers

I want to go off psych meds but my family might not. Do I do it anyway?

I made a promise to my family that I wouldn't make decisions about my treatment without them. I want alternative treatment. If they say no, do I still go? [more inside]
posted by defmute on Aug 22, 2014 - 73 answers

Cooperative house building in Boston

How might I go about building a (big, cooperative) house in Boston? [more inside]
posted by woodvine on Aug 17, 2014 - 5 answers

Fancy events + no sleep + small children = help?

Family trip coming up, and I need advice on helping my five-year-old daughter manage sleep-deprivation and jetlag. In the context of a wedding weekend, with all the attendant social and behavioral expectations. With bonus similarly-aged relative who brings out her most rambunctious side. What can I do by way of scheduling, boundaries, etc., to keep this sane while still being polite? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Aug 17, 2014 - 19 answers

Life changes for the... difficult brain.

I'm not happy with the way I look or feel. I haven't been for a long time. I'm severely overweight, have high blood pressure with a family history of heart disease and diabetes, wake up with back pain every morning, have zero energy if it doesn't come in the form of an energy drink or shot, and just generally look like hell. What can I do to lose over 80 lbs and get myself to a healthy BMI for a 24yo 5'8' male when my brain acts like it really, really just wants to have me die of a heart attack by 35? Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Aug 15, 2014 - 34 answers

My sister offended my girlfriend. Can or should I do anything about it?

My sister made a careless remark about a coworker being "too old" to have children that really offended my girlfriend. Ever since, my girlfriend has been making snarky remarks about my sister whenever I mention anything about my immediate family. My sister has no idea that my girlfriend feels this way. Can I do anything to change how my girlfriend feels about this situation, and should I even try? [more inside]
posted by Chuck Barris on Aug 14, 2014 - 42 answers

Help me be a supportive wife when I am a mess

My husband's parent is sick. I am a jerk. I don't want to be a jerk. Advice? [more inside]
posted by kat518 on Aug 8, 2014 - 27 answers

What are some good ways to learn languages at home with a toddler?

How can I help my toddler learn a new language? Is there something that we'd also enjoy and learn from, as a family? There was a previous post, without any leads, beyond Pocoyo. [more inside]
posted by filthy light thief on Aug 8, 2014 - 8 answers

Dealing with shitty parents?

Dealing with shitty parents - when to cut them off for good? [more inside]
posted by thelivingsea on Aug 3, 2014 - 23 answers

What is the best way to find housing in the South Bay area?

My husband has a job in Campbell, CA, and we've been looking at Craigslist and Zillow and Realtor.com for places to live. We've already had an attempted scam via CL and I don't want to waste time with other useless sites. Any recommendations? [more inside]
posted by lysdexic on Aug 3, 2014 - 9 answers

What do you think--folding bikes for kids?

I should start by saying I'm a big fan of folding bikes and have been using one to commute to work for the last 8 years.(Brompton SL-2) We have two girls who can now both ride bikes, and are living overseas in the UAE. We can buy bikes where we live but the prices are higher and the selection's a bit limited. I'm thinking of buying a pair of Dahon Boardwalk single speed coaster break folders and bringing them back when we return next week. Has anyone tried folding bikes for kids? I've had our older daughter ride my Brompton--she does fine on it. My sense is they would not be as excited about them initially as opposed to something more kid-like, but that over time it would just come to be seen as what it is--a bicycle we can bring anywhere. I'm wondering if others in the MeFi community have tried folding bikes with kids--have they worked size wise? Lasted over the years? Or languished in a corner of the garage?
posted by teddyb109 on Aug 2, 2014 - 8 answers

Disclosure vs. anxiety

I'm nearing the end of police academy for the largest police department in my area. An officer in a suburban department of my area was just murdered on a traffic stop. My fiance doesn't really follow local news and is unaware of the murder. Should I talk with him about it? Or should I continue to let it slide by unremarked unless he hears about it? What about the rest of my immediate family? If you were my family member would you want me to talk about this with you, or would it make you worried? Is it relevant that a LOT of the cops in my department have been in shootings or other critical incidents during their careers? I would honestly estimate that at least half the cops I've talked to have been involved in a shooting, keeping in mind that the cops doing training at the academy all tend to have 10, 15, or more years on. Is it relevant that my fiance has some general problems with anxiety? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I change my job and my country of residence?

I am facing a huge question that I don't know how to navigate and don't feel like I can talk to anyone about. The short story is that I have a precarious-feeling academic job in the Midwestern U.S. and applied for a job in an English-speaking country in the Southern Hemisphere. Today, I found out that I am on the short list for the job. And now I'm just not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2014 - 16 answers

Family drama about to come to a head. Help me head it off

I stopped speaking to a family member due to a unhealthy dynamic that had been going on for years now. We're both invited to a family event we both want to attend. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 20 answers

Should I put my reading three-year-old in a (pre)school for bright kids?

Should I put my reading three-year-old in a (pre)school for bright kids? Should I move in with my partner in order to do so? [more inside]
posted by woodvine on Jul 31, 2014 - 28 answers

Smartphone game to play as a family (adults)?

I am around 50 years old and my kids are around 30. Is there one really cool smartphone game we could play together? [more inside]
posted by cda on Jul 27, 2014 - 12 answers

Next time I'll remember to ask this question when it's 1987 out.

I've had this little home decor project idea floating around in my head for ages and I need a specific kind of picture frame to pull it off. One of those family collage frame type dealies that everybody's grandma has in the den. But they seem to have dropped out of fashion and I haven't been able to find one anywhere over the course of numerous googlings for the past year and a half. [more inside]
posted by phunniemee on Jul 23, 2014 - 23 answers

Family causes anxiety and I can't visit them.

My family causes me a lot of anxiety, to the point that staying away from them is a key part of keeping my sanity. They don't understand why I don't visit and won't discuss with me. How do I deal with the residual guilt? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 19 answers

Good town to visit in Spain in the summer with young kids?

What's a good town or smallish city in Spain to visit in the summer with kids (ages 2 and 5) in tow? We're looking at 3 weeks in late July/August, and would prefer a walkable place that's on a train line (or are they all?) so we wouldn't have to rent a car to explore locally or beyond. [more inside]
posted by gottabefunky on Jul 19, 2014 - 8 answers

Should I stay or should I go?

So here's the thing. My dad just got diagnosed with ALS-- Lou Gehrig's Disease, That Thing That Stephen Hawking Has, you know the drill-- and I have a moral dilemma. [more inside]
posted by dogheart on Jul 16, 2014 - 30 answers

Advice for a 25 year old feeling lost?

I'm not sure how to ask this question. I've been in a weird funk lately where I've been feeling lonely and frustrated due to many factors. I guess I am just having a quarter life crisis in that I am 25 and feel a little lost professionally and personally. [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Jul 15, 2014 - 10 answers

How to come to terms with huge life decision?

The decision has been made, the pros and cons weighed. For one of the first and only times in my life I followed my gut. Why does it still feel yucky? [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Jul 13, 2014 - 7 answers

Sexist dog? Protective dog? Traumatized dog?

Does a dog's behavior against his owner--in only about 50% of circumstances--warrant concern? The answers in this ask were helpful, particularly this one (there is much of item #3 that happens during play). But what I want to know is whether his dog's behavior around step-brother + a female might point to something from his past. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2014 - 11 answers

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