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Looking for ways to connect with other kids remotely as a caring friend

My friend just passed away due to heart attack, leaving 7 years old twins with their Dad. We have a lot of caring friends who want to help their family. The family have plenty of money, toys, dress, ect. So we are looking for ways to love them. We all live in different parts of America. [more inside]
posted by akomom on Aug 29, 2014 - 2 answers

I want to go off psych meds but my family might not. Do I do it anyway?

I made a promise to my family that I wouldn't make decisions about my treatment without them. I want alternative treatment. If they say no, do I still go? [more inside]
posted by defmute on Aug 22, 2014 - 73 answers

Cooperative house building in Boston

How might I go about building a (big, cooperative) house in Boston? [more inside]
posted by woodvine on Aug 17, 2014 - 5 answers

Fancy events + no sleep + small children = help?

Family trip coming up, and I need advice on helping my five-year-old daughter manage sleep-deprivation and jetlag. In the context of a wedding weekend, with all the attendant social and behavioral expectations. With bonus similarly-aged relative who brings out her most rambunctious side. What can I do by way of scheduling, boundaries, etc., to keep this sane while still being polite? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Aug 17, 2014 - 19 answers

Life changes for the... difficult brain.

I'm not happy with the way I look or feel. I haven't been for a long time. I'm severely overweight, have high blood pressure with a family history of heart disease and diabetes, wake up with back pain every morning, have zero energy if it doesn't come in the form of an energy drink or shot, and just generally look like hell. What can I do to lose over 80 lbs and get myself to a healthy BMI for a 24yo 5'8' male when my brain acts like it really, really just wants to have me die of a heart attack by 35? Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Aug 15, 2014 - 34 answers

My sister offended my girlfriend. Can or should I do anything about it?

My sister made a careless remark about a coworker being "too old" to have children that really offended my girlfriend. Ever since, my girlfriend has been making snarky remarks about my sister whenever I mention anything about my immediate family. My sister has no idea that my girlfriend feels this way. Can I do anything to change how my girlfriend feels about this situation, and should I even try? [more inside]
posted by Chuck Barris on Aug 14, 2014 - 42 answers

Help me be a supportive wife when I am a mess

My husband's parent is sick. I am a jerk. I don't want to be a jerk. Advice? [more inside]
posted by kat518 on Aug 8, 2014 - 27 answers

What are some good ways to learn languages at home with a toddler?

How can I help my toddler learn a new language? Is there something that we'd also enjoy and learn from, as a family? There was a previous post, without any leads, beyond Pocoyo. [more inside]
posted by filthy light thief on Aug 8, 2014 - 8 answers

Dealing with shitty parents?

Dealing with shitty parents - when to cut them off for good? [more inside]
posted by thelivingsea on Aug 3, 2014 - 23 answers

What is the best way to find housing in the South Bay area?

My husband has a job in Campbell, CA, and we've been looking at Craigslist and Zillow and Realtor.com for places to live. We've already had an attempted scam via CL and I don't want to waste time with other useless sites. Any recommendations? [more inside]
posted by lysdexic on Aug 3, 2014 - 9 answers

What do you think--folding bikes for kids?

I should start by saying I'm a big fan of folding bikes and have been using one to commute to work for the last 8 years.(Brompton SL-2) We have two girls who can now both ride bikes, and are living overseas in the UAE. We can buy bikes where we live but the prices are higher and the selection's a bit limited. I'm thinking of buying a pair of Dahon Boardwalk single speed coaster break folders and bringing them back when we return next week. Has anyone tried folding bikes for kids? I've had our older daughter ride my Brompton--she does fine on it. My sense is they would not be as excited about them initially as opposed to something more kid-like, but that over time it would just come to be seen as what it is--a bicycle we can bring anywhere. I'm wondering if others in the MeFi community have tried folding bikes with kids--have they worked size wise? Lasted over the years? Or languished in a corner of the garage?
posted by teddyb109 on Aug 2, 2014 - 8 answers

Disclosure vs. anxiety

I'm nearing the end of police academy for the largest police department in my area. An officer in a suburban department of my area was just murdered on a traffic stop. My fiance doesn't really follow local news and is unaware of the murder. Should I talk with him about it? Or should I continue to let it slide by unremarked unless he hears about it? What about the rest of my immediate family? If you were my family member would you want me to talk about this with you, or would it make you worried? Is it relevant that a LOT of the cops in my department have been in shootings or other critical incidents during their careers? I would honestly estimate that at least half the cops I've talked to have been involved in a shooting, keeping in mind that the cops doing training at the academy all tend to have 10, 15, or more years on. Is it relevant that my fiance has some general problems with anxiety? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I change my job and my country of residence?

I am facing a huge question that I don't know how to navigate and don't feel like I can talk to anyone about. The short story is that I have a precarious-feeling academic job in the Midwestern U.S. and applied for a job in an English-speaking country in the Southern Hemisphere. Today, I found out that I am on the short list for the job. And now I'm just not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2014 - 16 answers

Family drama about to come to a head. Help me head it off

I stopped speaking to a family member due to a unhealthy dynamic that had been going on for years now. We're both invited to a family event we both want to attend. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 20 answers

Should I put my reading three-year-old in a (pre)school for bright kids?

Should I put my reading three-year-old in a (pre)school for bright kids? Should I move in with my partner in order to do so? [more inside]
posted by woodvine on Jul 31, 2014 - 28 answers

Smartphone game to play as a family (adults)?

I am around 50 years old and my kids are around 30. Is there one really cool smartphone game we could play together? [more inside]
posted by cda on Jul 27, 2014 - 12 answers

Next time I'll remember to ask this question when it's 1987 out.

I've had this little home decor project idea floating around in my head for ages and I need a specific kind of picture frame to pull it off. One of those family collage frame type dealies that everybody's grandma has in the den. But they seem to have dropped out of fashion and I haven't been able to find one anywhere over the course of numerous googlings for the past year and a half. [more inside]
posted by phunniemee on Jul 23, 2014 - 23 answers

Family causes anxiety and I can't visit them.

My family causes me a lot of anxiety, to the point that staying away from them is a key part of keeping my sanity. They don't understand why I don't visit and won't discuss with me. How do I deal with the residual guilt? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 19 answers

Good town to visit in Spain in the summer with young kids?

What's a good town or smallish city in Spain to visit in the summer with kids (ages 2 and 5) in tow? We're looking at 3 weeks in late July/August, and would prefer a walkable place that's on a train line (or are they all?) so we wouldn't have to rent a car to explore locally or beyond. [more inside]
posted by gottabefunky on Jul 19, 2014 - 8 answers

Should I stay or should I go?

So here's the thing. My dad just got diagnosed with ALS-- Lou Gehrig's Disease, That Thing That Stephen Hawking Has, you know the drill-- and I have a moral dilemma. [more inside]
posted by dogheart on Jul 16, 2014 - 30 answers

Advice for a 25 year old feeling lost?

I'm not sure how to ask this question. I've been in a weird funk lately where I've been feeling lonely and frustrated due to many factors. I guess I am just having a quarter life crisis in that I am 25 and feel a little lost professionally and personally. [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Jul 15, 2014 - 10 answers

How to come to terms with huge life decision?

The decision has been made, the pros and cons weighed. For one of the first and only times in my life I followed my gut. Why does it still feel yucky? [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Jul 13, 2014 - 7 answers

Sexist dog? Protective dog? Traumatized dog?

Does a dog's behavior against his owner--in only about 50% of circumstances--warrant concern? The answers in this ask were helpful, particularly this one (there is much of item #3 that happens during play). But what I want to know is whether his dog's behavior around step-brother + a female might point to something from his past. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Jul 8, 2014 - 11 answers

Doggy Daycare/Boarding Hours of Operation

Is opening a dog daycare/boarding open 6 days a week weird? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jul 5, 2014 - 19 answers

Family suicide complicated by lack of communication: is it ADHD?

My husband’s cousin recently killed himself. The sadness we feel is colored by intense anger at my husband’s mother, who never communicated what was going on with the cousin - or that he had moved to a city we visit frequently. Could "forgetting" to mention or misrepresenting major family information/news be a byproduct of ADHD? Yes, there's more inside... [more inside]
posted by mitschlag on Jul 3, 2014 - 38 answers

Lost and found: half sibling edition

I found out that I have a half brother five years ago. I got curious, then thanks to the internet, I was able to locate him a year ago. We (mom included) have been in touch, and he wants to be a part of our family, which I love as I am an only child raised by a single mom. The catch: He has problems with addiction, the law, and being employed. [more inside]
posted by hippychick on Jul 3, 2014 - 32 answers

How to support family dealing with cancer, non-sartorially

My cousin's kid was born with cancer. A friend of theirs started a website where one can buy a t-shirt to show support for the family. This seems a little odd. Should I buy a t-shirt or do something differently to show love and support for the family? [more inside]
posted by kat518 on Jul 1, 2014 - 25 answers

Sibling weddings cannot be in same month, even in different years?

I have two brothers-in-law, my husband's younger siblings. Both of them are getting married. The older of the two, who we'll call Brother A, has been planning his wedding for a while. His fiancé and he have been dating for a few years and are planning a traditional wedding for next year in August. The younger, Brother B, is getting married ASAP to a girlfriend he has only been dating briefly, for well... the classic reason for getting married in a hurry. They also want to get married in August, of this year. Brother A says that's "his" month. Is that even a thing? [more inside]
posted by Comrade Doll on Jun 30, 2014 - 53 answers

Need some of that quiet confidence.

I've been dating a great person for about 4 months. She's really outgoing, charming, attractive, and funny, and people just love her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 28, 2014 - 20 answers

Inviting only *some* family to our wedding?

We’re in the very earliest stages of wedding planning, trying to come up with a guest list so that we have approximate numbers in mind when we look into venues, etc. How can - or should - we balance a seriously lopsided family tree with our desire to have our friends there (and not go bankrupt/remain engaged forever)? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Austenite on Jun 24, 2014 - 47 answers

Just because they share half their DNA....

Should I help my daughter connect with her half-sister? Or more precisely, should I help my daughter's half-sister connect with her? [more inside]
posted by marionett gjorda av strumpor on Jun 19, 2014 - 22 answers

Whitewashing a sociopath's actions

My BIL is a sociopath. We don't deal with him. But the parents still do. Therein lies the problem... [more inside]
posted by lost_lettuce on Jun 18, 2014 - 24 answers

How do you deal with family-in-law that's in a cult?

Short version: my fiancé's family is involved in a cult. He left the cult while in college, but they don't know. Most people don't know, except me and a few other friends. He hasn't told his family that he left, and he says he never will. My question is, what do we do when/if they want us to be more involved in their lives, without either getting involved in the cult or letting it slip that we're not part of it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 15, 2014 - 43 answers

Never in my life did I think my son share/split...the restaurant tab

Indians of me-fi: is it commonly accepted etiquette that splitting a restaurant bill with Indian parents is an insult? [more inside]
posted by ovenmitt on Jun 14, 2014 - 32 answers

Web developer salaries: help me distinguish hyperbole from reality

I'm considering a career change into web development and I'm hoping AskMe can help me sort through the abundance of relevant information and get a sense of what reasonable expectations might be. To put it succinctly, I'd like to make about $75-80k a year so that I can support my parents while still being able to save money for my own future. Is it probable for a self-taught developer to earn a salary in this range? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2014 - 9 answers

Economical Vehicle for 8?

I need to find a safe vehicle that can seat a family of 8 comfortably and still have enough room to haul backpacks and school sports equipment. [more inside]
posted by bleucube on Jun 10, 2014 - 11 answers

Great lenguage irrelevat activities?

My wife is finally going to meet my family. Problem, they don't speak English, She doesn't speak Russian. What are good non speech dependent fun activities we can all do? [more inside]
posted by Sentus on Jun 9, 2014 - 28 answers

Introductory sources on biological classification

I'm beginning a project that looks partly at biological classification, primarily in western science. I have no background in this, and so I'm digging around. I'm interested to know more about the current rules for nomenclature, and also to know more about historical, philosophical, sociological, knowledge practice, ethnographic, anthropological, science technology and society (STS), sociotechnical, etc., approaches to the study of biological classification. I'll take monographs, articles, papers, web sites, etc. I have access to a university library. What are some good sources that can introduce me to this? Many thanks!
posted by carter on Jun 9, 2014 - 13 answers

My 2-year-old niece is battling cancer. What can I say to be supportive?

I have been with my partner for over 5 years and know his family fairly well. A little over a year ago his brother's one year old daughter was diagnosed with cancer. His daughter, whom I consider as a niece even though my partner and I are not married, has now been battling cancer for over a year. It appears to be quite aggressive. When my sister-in-law calls to give me updates about their daughter's condition (or vice-versa), what can I say to be supportive and express that I care? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by Blissful on Jun 5, 2014 - 17 answers

Memorial for family member planned while I'm away working

Someone in my extended family passed away. Her only child just told me that he'd like to plan a memorial for a future date while other relatives are in town. He and I were very close growing up, have somewhat drifted, but lately have been in one another's lives again. His mom was his only immediate family member. I already know I'm scheduled to be away from home working for three weeks at that time. Do I cancel, or proceed? [more inside]
posted by BestCoaster on Jun 3, 2014 - 11 answers

Taking on more hours with a baby on the way

I've been offered a job I'd like, but the hours are longer and there's a commute, and we're expecting a baby. Would I be crazy to take it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 1, 2014 - 25 answers

My brother seems to have some sort of deep seated issue with me.

My brother (four years younger than me, we are both in our 30s and single, I am a woman) and I have had a back and forth relationship - it was normal brother/sister stuff - fighting and whatnot but nothing crazy - until I went to college, when we were super close. Then when I graduated college, he started and dropped out and went to community college and finally graduated after 7 years, and is actually doing really well as a banker, though he's between jobs now. Our relationship deteriorated rapidly after I graduated college though, because he had a big issue with drinking and was living with our parents and using them, I thought. That was a long time ago, and I've tried really hard to see where he's coming from and I thought our relationship had improved, but now new issues have come up... (wall of text inside) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2014 - 35 answers

Misophonia with brother-in-law

My sister has a very nice husband who is a loud and emphatic chewer, who smacks his lips and says "mmmmm" upon putting anything in his mouth ever, and who always seems to be eating or drinking something he wants to share the experience of (I recognize this is not actually true, but it feels true). I have mild misophonia that centers around chewing sounds, and kind of want to throttle him or myself when this happens. I love my sister and her kid and even this guy when he's not having these table manners, but I find it really unpleasant to be around him during those times and it's very hard for me to actually enjoy a meal when we're eating it together. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2014 - 26 answers

Need to cross a minivan with a Prius (or vice versa)

Just discovered that our next car purchase needs to happen this summer, so I've gotta get into research mode stat. Is there such a thing as a family car (ie kid transporter etc) with great city gas mileage? Special snowtires inside. [more inside]
posted by sesquipedalia on May 30, 2014 - 20 answers

East coast vacation spots for the 10 to 78 set?

Do you know a great place near New York City for three generations of family to vacation for three to five days this summer? [more inside]
posted by snorkmaiden on May 29, 2014 - 5 answers

Do I reach out to someone I've hurt but doesn't want contact from me?

Would it be upsetting to have someone who wronged you--really, really, really wronged you--to contact you out of the blue to apologize? Over a decade ago I was a stupid, histrionic, selfish, needy and endless pit of WANT and ME-ME-ME kind of a person. I alienated everyone I knew and ended up moving away from my hometown. It took me a long time but I grew up and I realize how terrible I was then. Now I want to apologize to some people I wronged. Is it out of line for me to send a letter when I was asked to make no further contact over a decade ago? I don't deserve or desire a reconciliation but I do want to apologize and thank them for putting up with me--instead of just being a destructive person, I'm sure I would have ended up a dead person had it not been for them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2014 - 56 answers

a black sheep by my own design

How can I be gracious, kind, and supportive when I feel like a fuck-up compared to the rest of my family, particularly my younger sister? Messy wall of text below. [more inside]
posted by ablazingsaddle on May 28, 2014 - 18 answers

Little brother is racist, but I'm a bitch

My brother did something racist that offended me, but when I spoke up against it, I'm the family bitch. How can I talk to my family so that they understand this? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on May 28, 2014 - 36 answers

How do I insure a newborn on short notice?

We just found out the baby we're having any day now is probably not eligible for medical care at birth on her mother's insurance plan. Help! [more inside]
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis on May 22, 2014 - 17 answers

Obtaining consent before posting family photos to social media?

Am I wrong to want for my 25-year-old sister to get consent before posting photos of our family to >900 followers on social media sites (including Facebook and Instagram)? I feel annoyed by the Pinterest-perfect ideal of our family life that she's selling, and like my privacy is being violated in a big way. We're currently arguing about this and I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable, or if there's a better/more productive script I can follow so that we might actually resolve the conflict. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on May 22, 2014 - 41 answers

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