946 posts tagged with Etiquette.
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Do I need to go to this funeral?

Yes, I know it’s always nice to go as a gesture of support, but how important is it really, in this scenario? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2015 - 48 answers

What to do if you said something mean that got back to that person?

Let's say I said something about person B to person A ("Person B is a terrible mother!") and person A relates that to Person B. Do I have to apologize to Person B if I said it in confidence? What if everyone knows I meant it? Would a phony baloney apology make everything better? [more inside]
posted by Piedmont_Americana on Nov 19, 2015 - 17 answers

How to tell previous homeowners we are tired of holding their mail

My wife and I moved into our first home in March of this year. The previous homeowners asked if we could hold onto any mail addressed to them and put it in the mailbox around Friday of each week and they would come by and get it. Fast forward to today and we are still doing this for them. It's a bit tedious and frustrating to still have to do this and I'd like to find a way to politely find a way to get out of doing this - otherwise it feels like we may be doing this indefinitely. [more inside]
posted by Proginoskes on Nov 10, 2015 - 57 answers

What to do about messy toddler at a restaurant?

I have a two-year-old, and occasionally I take her out to a restaurant. (Nothing fancy or inappropriate for kids -- think Chili's.) She sits in a high chair and she's pretty well-behaved, but she drops a lot of food on the floor (because she's two). What is the best way to handle this situation? [more inside]
posted by cider on Nov 10, 2015 - 27 answers

What's the etiquette when commenting on someone's plastic surgery?

I realize this could be a judgment call, but I'd like to know if there are any good rules when acknowledging a face lift. [more inside]
posted by msali on Nov 7, 2015 - 23 answers

Stopping the email train

Thanks for your response! Sorry about clogging your inbox with gratitude. [more inside]
posted by knuspermanatee on Nov 2, 2015 - 14 answers

When do you know it's time to take a sick day?

I'm taking my first sick day in a long time, after my boss told me to go home from a meeting because I had actually lost my voice. I'm not good at knowing when feeling crappy merits taking a sick day and when it merits just sucking it up and hauling yourself in to work, especially if you have meetings planned or are supposed to be teaching a group. How do you decide that the level of sick you're feeling is sick enough to require calling in?
posted by sciatrix on Oct 28, 2015 - 43 answers

Big plate of 'party invite etiquette' beans

Is it polite to invite person A at the last minute to a party (in this case, my darling SO's birthday celebration)? I am feeling somewhat anxious about this occasion already and don't want to offend or exclude anyone. I know this is only a big deal in my own mind, and probably in no-one else's, but it is one of a couple of minor things I am feeling a bit stressed about as the day approaches. [more inside]
posted by Weng on Oct 26, 2015 - 13 answers

Where she goes, so does her large dog. Ugh.

Another question about my sister. She has a large pit bull and brings him everywhere (unless it's inconvenient, in which case she leaves him with a friend or family member). She wants to bring him to our house for Christmas. I don't want him to come. [more inside]
posted by witchen on Oct 19, 2015 - 57 answers

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You Kindly!

I'm looking for relatively inexpensive, cute, thank you cards/stationary for a ton of thank yous for baby gifts and not having much luck finding them! [more inside]
posted by Aquifer on Oct 12, 2015 - 16 answers

UK job interview etiquette

I'm a US citizen applying for jobs in London. I've excited to have been shortlisted and offered a couple of interviews. What should I expect? What should I wear? More below the fold. [more inside]
posted by pocksuppeteer on Sep 9, 2015 - 8 answers

re-using a non-traditional wedding dress

I got married in a small courthouse ceremony last December. I wore a normal purple dress. My sister-in-law is getting married this weekend. Would it be a faux pas if I wore the same dress to her wedding? [more inside]
posted by swamp rocket on Sep 1, 2015 - 19 answers

Please don't sit with us

Is there a polite way to say, "Actually, we were hoping it would just be [SO and I] sitting together?" [more inside]
posted by Hot buttered sockpuppets on Aug 22, 2015 - 54 answers

What to do when a newspaper borks your freelance submission?

My wife has started doing some freelance writing, and her first story will be published in tomorrow's edition of our local newspaper. Yay! Unfortunately, someone in the editorial chain made several errors, including misspelling a simple word in a section they (poorly) rewrote, and misspelling the name of one of the subjects of the story in several of the photo captions. They also rewrote another portion into a bunch of short, choppy sentences that totally ruin the flow of the article. How should she respond? [more inside]
posted by tonycpsu on Aug 16, 2015 - 14 answers

restaurant etiquette: used tissue on finished plate?

In a middle-of-the-road restaurant (i.e. not upscale, but not fast food), is it or is it not okay to leave a bunched-up, used tissue on a finished plate, alongside a bunched-up napkin, leftover food scraps and used cutlery?
posted by paleyellowwithorange on Jul 30, 2015 - 41 answers

Save the Date but No Invitation?

Received a Save the Date for a wedding for a couple we'd like to be less close with, but didn't receive a real invite. What to do? [more inside]
posted by mornie_alantie on Jul 26, 2015 - 27 answers

Bow out gracefully?

The wife of one of my office' higher ups has a birthday coming up, and a colleague's wife is planning a lavish birthday blast. Can I bow out early without hurting anyone's feelings? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Jul 25, 2015 - 16 answers

Introducing honoured guests

I am responsible for introducing (in English) a number of honoured guests from Japan at an event in Canada. I am looking for the appropriate English honorifics (His Excellency, Her Honour, etc) for some specific government officials, as well as some general honorifics. [more inside]
posted by arcticwoman on Jul 21, 2015 - 8 answers

Hacks for timely responses to emails and texts

I used to be great at replying to emails and texts; now I am not. I need some ideas for methods to help me reply to people in a timely way. I could also do with some input into what is realistically considered "timely". [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Jul 21, 2015 - 10 answers

Too late to back out of staying in a pricey room for a wedding?

I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding this summer which will take place 30 minutes from my house. The facility has cabins which guests are invited to stay in. Awhile ago the bride told me that she is paying for the wedding party to stay overnight. She asked if my boyfriend would be staying overnight and I said yes, assuming that he would be covered too. I just got an email pay-pal request from her for $80 for my boyfriend's share. [more inside]
posted by pintapicasso on Jul 16, 2015 - 20 answers

Is there any way to rescind this invitation?

I have a milestone birthday coming up and an incredibly lovely friend has taken it upon herself (with my blessing) to invite people to my place for a low key celebration (yay!). Unfortunately, she also accidentally invited a friend of mine whose boyfriend I can't stand. [more inside]
posted by wondrous strange snow on Jul 14, 2015 - 45 answers

How to react when an artist gives you an unsolicited portrait?

Yesterday I was minding my own business, working on my laptop in a "McCafe", when someone approached the table and handed me a sketch (portrait of me) they had drawn. I thanked him and complimented the drawing. But how would you react? [more inside]
posted by 99percentfake on Jul 14, 2015 - 30 answers

Introvert needs help with impending death etiquette

So, my spouse of 20 years has weeks to live according to the hospice nurse who came today. [more inside]
posted by mismatchedsock on Jul 11, 2015 - 24 answers

What is a word for the unpredictable imposition of irrational standards?

What is a word (or phrase!) for the unpredictable imposition of irrationally high standards? Further description/examples inside. [more inside]
posted by mchorn on Jul 7, 2015 - 36 answers

Appropriate response to religious greeting

I am currently living in Austria, where it is typical for people entering a semi-public space (e.g. doctor's office, barber shop) to greet the entire room and receive a greeting back. What is the appropriate response when greeted with "salaam alaikum" (selamün aleyküm)? [more inside]
posted by frimble on Jun 30, 2015 - 9 answers

Post-interview municipal HR etiquette question

Would love to hear feedback from someone familiar with municipal HR practices. Yesterday I interviewed for a position with a city department. The interview was set up by someone from city HR, but was I was actually interviewed by people in the department. At the end of the interview, the contact from HR told me I could not contact the interviewers, but I could direct questions to her (the HR contact). I believe this is all because of various regulations regarding city hiring. When I've been interviewing for other jobs (private companies), I have sent a post-interview "thanks" email to the interviewer. Since I can't contact the people I interviewed with, is it appropriate to send a "thank you for organizing the interview" email to the HR person who has been my point of contact so far?
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2015 - 3 answers

My friend lost her baby. I'm pregnant. Should I go to the funeral?

A friend just lost her baby in the second trimester of pregnancy. She's invited me to the funeral. I want to go to support her. I cannot imagine the pain she's going through. But I'm 8 months pregnant and all is going fine. Would this be upsetting for her? [more inside]
posted by Pearl928 on Jun 9, 2015 - 28 answers

Job interview + can't understand my interviewer's accent

I'm a native U.S. English-speaker, they might not have been. I've twice been at U.S. job interviews where I haven't been able to understand my interviewer; they had an accent and I couldn't tell what words they were saying, even after they slowed down and repeated. How should I handle this? [more inside]
posted by StealthOatmeal on Jun 1, 2015 - 13 answers

Hookup etiquette, campsite rule edition

I met someone several years younger than me on a hookup site. We met and I'm pretty sure he felt nervous about his performance. What else could / should I have done? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2015 - 8 answers

What to do about a nasty email sent to the wrong person?

My mentally ill mother likes to send me super mean emails every once in a while, which I don't usually reply to. I just discovered today that she has accidentally been sending emails to a random person with a similar email address to mine. I'm not sure what, if anything, I should do about it. [more inside]
posted by thelaze on May 20, 2015 - 27 answers

Bar Mitzvah giftiquette - long distance edition

Much to my pleasant surprise, today in the mail I received an invite from one of my oldest friends to his son's Bar Mitzvah celebration. They live thousands of miles away, I'm sure they don't expect me to make an appearance, but it seems . . . . . inadequate . . . . . to just check the "no" box on the RSVP card. More context below, but the TL;DR is -- what, if anything, would be an appropriate Bar Mitzvah gift for a young man that I barely know? Or should I just send a card to sort of the whole family? [more inside]
posted by soundguy99 on May 14, 2015 - 17 answers

Houseguest karma

I've had my share of regrettable houseguest behaviours in my early 20s (I am 30 now), so I am choking this up to karma. But I am curious: I've had consecutive houseguests in their late 20s/early 30s who are fantastic people but rough-around-the-corner as houseguests. Is this a generational thing? Is it particular to the artsy/academic type that I hang out with? How do I politely tell them "I consider you a good friend, and that part won't change. I am unhappy with [behaviour] in my home, so if that doesn't change I can't host you again."? [more inside]
posted by redwaterman on May 1, 2015 - 42 answers

Help me understand this restaurant reservation policy?

Okay, yes, apparently I was raised in a barn. There's a restaurant I'd like to patronize*, but I'm stuck on their reservation policy. Specifically, their use of the term "dinner seating." Please explain to someone who frequently fails to wear a tuxedo, even well past 6:00 pm. [more inside]
posted by Naberius on Apr 20, 2015 - 24 answers

should I stay or should I go

My cousin is getting married abroad, and I don't want to go. I can't come to a decision. It's not a big financial/time strain, but I don't want to go, and don't know how to respond. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 32 answers

Same-Sex Wedding Etiquette: Do We Invite Non-Supportive Parents?

My same-sex partner and I have decided to get married. However, on both sides of our family we have immediate family members who are either tepid or outright hostile to gay marriage--specifically, both sets of parents. Should we extend to them invitations to our wedding anyway out of courtesy or deliberately not invite them? [more inside]
posted by Quaversalis on Apr 15, 2015 - 42 answers

Destination wedding/bridal shower - gifts?

What is the gift etiquette when you are attending both? [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes on Apr 14, 2015 - 9 answers

Overthinking Flowers -- Japanese Edition

I would like to send a colleague a housewarming gift. Tomoya has recently moved from Japan to the UK with his wife and two babies, and they are finding the change challenging as none of them lived in the UK before. They have moved out of temporary apartments into a house, and I would like to send flowers as a welcoming gift. Is this an appropriate gift and should I avoid any particular colours/flowers? [more inside]
posted by TriparteGoddess on Apr 10, 2015 - 11 answers

Baby Shower Invite Etiquette?

Received a baby shower invitation from an acquaintance who I would like to turn into a friend. Unsure of how to handle this and other social events. [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Apr 9, 2015 - 17 answers

Difficult Wedding Guest Quandary

A wedding guest just told us that her plus-one has tricky dietary restrictions our caterer cannot handle. What are our obligations? [more inside]
posted by rainbowbrite on Apr 6, 2015 - 50 answers

What to do - Card and Flowers for a dying friend?

A friend of the family is dying, and soon. She was diagnosed recently with cancer and given days to live. She is in her home and aware, but under hospice care. Rather than send flowers when she's dead I thought I should send them now while she is alive to know we are thinking of her. What should I put in the card? I'm leaning towards just "Thinking of you" and our names. Any better suggestions for the card?
posted by arniec on Apr 3, 2015 - 8 answers

When do you re-express interest in a job interview?

I received an email from a job I'd applied to a couple of months ago requesting my availability for a phone interview. I responded via email (per their request) the same day with my limited availability. As a healthcare provider, it seems that tight schedules are the norm, but I haven't heard back, four days later. When, if ever, is it appropriate to send a follow-up email? [more inside]
posted by stillmoving on Mar 27, 2015 - 8 answers

Public transit phone/picture-capable-device etiquette

On public transit, do you feel threatened about people holding devices with cameras in such a way that they could potentially be taking pictures or recording? Do you feel pressure about how you hold your own camera-capable devices? This is more of a general question, but details about why I became curious are as follows. [more inside]
posted by halifix on Mar 27, 2015 - 28 answers

Ambulances and civilian drivers: a traffic etiquette question!

The other day, I was driving home from work and an ambulance was coming up from behind. I didn't pull over because it didn't seem useful, a nearby motorcyclist chewed me out through my open window: "You're supposed to pull over when there's an ambulance!!" Due to the not-so-snowflakey details inside, I'm struggling to understand what the right thing to do would've been. [more inside]
posted by witchen on Mar 26, 2015 - 52 answers

Birthday party invitation etiquette

I got invited, last minute-ish, to a birthday party for a friend of a friend's daughter. What, if anything, do I bring? [more inside]
posted by film on Mar 26, 2015 - 19 answers

Politely tell former co-worker I'm not interested in staying friends?

I left a job recently, and there's a former co-worker who keeps contacting me. [more inside]
posted by arbor day on Mar 21, 2015 - 34 answers

I need a primer on playdates.

How do playdates generally work for 8-year-olds? In particular, do you have any specific activity or game suggestions? What is playdate etiquette? Any tips for very introverted parents? (Location: U.S.) [more inside]
posted by Eolienne on Mar 20, 2015 - 4 answers

Nurses/Phlebotomists/etc: How to ask politely for gloves to be replaced?

I recently had an iv line inserted by a delightful technician who was wonderful in every way except that she put on her gloves and then rubbed her nose and then proceeded to insert the line. How could I have asked her to change her gloves without causing offense? [more inside]
posted by janey47 on Mar 20, 2015 - 15 answers

Kindly telling someone you're not interested in a closer friendship?

How can you politely tell an acquaintance or casual friend that you don't want to be better friends, when they apparently can't take a hint, and you know you'll continue to see them? [more inside]
posted by aldebaran on Mar 19, 2015 - 48 answers

Am I enabling poor pregnancy etiquette?

After a long journey to this point, I am 24+ weeks into what seems to be a pretty vigorous pregnancy, and quite thrilled about it. I am also showing like whoa, and so it is becoming commonplace for people I don't know well to spontaneously comment on my being pregnant before I say anything about it. I know this is a terrible thing for people to do, etiquette-wise... but I am too excited to want to quash it. Should I be trying to, and if so, how? [more inside]
posted by Smells of Detroit on Mar 18, 2015 - 24 answers

How to handle health questions semi-objectively

My family had unusual ideas about health, illness and contagion, and now I have confused instincts about when to go to the doctor, and when to worry about giving someone my nasty cold. Do you know some resources or rules of thumb that might help? [more inside]
posted by feets on Mar 15, 2015 - 15 answers

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