780 posts tagged with Divorce.
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Unapproved community property sale in divorce

I am going through a divorce. I am in California. My ex has put our jointly owned home up for sale without notifying me -- contrary to the state's "automatic temporary restraining order" against sale or transfer of property before final judgment. The house is now under contract. I have a lawyer and am not asking for legal advice. This is a question about how the real estate process works. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2016 - 16 answers

Reducing my dog's divorce-related stress

Please help me reduce the stress/separation anxiety and improve the behavior of my 3 year old dog. More inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Jul 13, 2016 - 13 answers

Advise me on marriage.

We're women in our early thirties, non-religious and not planning to have kids. I'm divorced, she's never been married. What do we need to know before tying the knot? [more inside]
posted by possibilityleft on Jul 9, 2016 - 9 answers

I think I want a baby – but not with my husband.

I’m married, mid 30s, and of course, it feels like everyone I know is having children. I love children. I’ve told myself again and again that I’m not going to be a mother. I thought I had made peace with it, and was pretty convinced I did not even want to be a mother. That’s why this seems like a huge betrayal to myself and to my husband.... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 9, 2016 - 26 answers

Separated guy ends it what now?

My divorcing bf of 5mo ended it, saying he wants to fall in love with me and give himself wholeheartedly to me but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. He messaged next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out, I responded to say he should take the time he needs to heal. He messaged again to say he enjoyed every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself at the moment. Every time he messages it's hard as I miss him but I don't want to cut contact as I hope he'll come back. What should I do?
posted by Anastasia100 on Jun 29, 2016 - 20 answers

things to do to avoid slipping back into troubled relationship

I left a physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive relationship for the second time a couple months ago. It was the first romantic relationship i ever had, lasting from when i was 16 until March of this year (I am 40). I need some help. [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Jun 9, 2016 - 25 answers

Building boundaries for custody and childcare

I'm separated, getting divorced, and have 50% custody of our child. We both have busy jobs. My ex regularly leans on me to provide child care when he is in her custody. With spousal and child support, at the moment, she has considerably more income than me. At times though she either cannot or will not sort out child care at her end. Halp! [more inside]
posted by life moves pretty fast on Jun 7, 2016 - 16 answers

I need money for a divorce attorney. Ideas?

Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. Yay. Except... my wife moved out four months ago, leaving me financially destitute and destabilizing my existence. I need to hire a divorce attorney to protect my rights, but don't know where to get the money. Maybe you are clever enough to help. [more inside]
posted by tacodave on Jun 6, 2016 - 17 answers

Penny wise and pound foolish?

You are not my lawyer, my accountant or my financial planner. Which makes sense, financially speaking, or, what factors should I consider, in figuring out which way to credit my ex for his portion of our marital home. My choices: (1) Pay him 85K cash; or (2) credit him 90K in his tax-deferred Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) from my marital share. I am in the U.S. [more inside]
posted by youdontmakefriendswithsalad on Jun 2, 2016 - 8 answers

Should we get a prenup?

We're getting married! Hooray! But given our life circumstances, does it make sense for us to sign a prenup? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 1, 2016 - 17 answers

Name still on home loan after divorce...

It's been a long frustrating 18 months going through divorce. In trial my lawyer and I tried to get the house, but were unsuccessful. So, Asshat gets the house in the decree and I get a cash settlement. [more inside]
posted by OkTwigs on May 25, 2016 - 13 answers

ISO divorce lawyer in the SF Bay Area

Can anyone recommend a great divorce lawyer in the San Francisco Bay Area? (The couple involved have been married for 20 years and have no children, if that matters.)
posted by désoeuvrée on May 25, 2016 - 1 answer

I need advice on selling a diamond engagement ring.

I've been divorced for 4 years now, and I think it's about time I get rid of my engagement ring. It's a 1.5 carat solitaire in a big hunk of white gold, so rather than chunk it down the sewer, I'd like to see about getting some cash out of it. I've done a lot of reading about different ways to do this (pawn shop, consignment, diamond broker, online site), but I'd like some advice from anyone that has successfully sold fine jewelry. [more inside]
posted by tryniti on May 24, 2016 - 5 answers

Ex-Husband and Taxes

You are not my lawyer. But I want to know if this is possible, and should I find a lawyer? It involves a divorce and taxes in New Jersey. [more inside]
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit on May 17, 2016 - 12 answers

Need a divorce lawyer in Toronto and have no idea where to start

I'm separating from my common-in-law partner and need to find a divorce/separation lawyer who can help me get a separation agreement crafted and signed. I have only ever used a lawyer twice - when I bought & sold my house, and when I wrote my will. I have no idea where to look or what I should be looking for. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 12, 2016 - 8 answers

How to tell a 6yr old child that Mom and Dad are splitting up?

I'm looking for recommendations about what and how to explain to our 6-year old daughter that Dad (me) has moved out and won't be living at home for an extended period (very likely a few months, at least). It's entirely unclear whether I'll be moving back home ever. I'll be with my daughter tomorrow and her mom and I have both agreed that we need to start explaining this to her, and Mom has asked that the conversation happen tomorrow. So I'm trying to get prepared for that - both trying to figure out what to say (or what not to say), and to anticipate what questions my daughter might have. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2016 - 24 answers

What do I do with my parents and their weird divorce/mortgage situation?

My mom cant pay her own bills after her divorce and me having to pay hers is slowly driving me crazy because I've lost my freedom and flexibility. We have a weird mortgage situation that essentially expires in 2 more years, but I want to resolve it sooner than that so I can move into a new apartment and just feel less stressed. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by nodebunny on Apr 25, 2016 - 14 answers

Accio happiness! 2016 Divorce Recovery Edition

Recently divorced, I filed. Having so much trouble dealing with how I lost financial security, a decent place to live and general happiness. Looking for help/ideas on how to recover and want to go on through life. There are days when it's dragging me over gravel to get up and get going. Sidenote, treated for Bipolar I and medicated. Likely going to adjust. Seeing therapist. [more inside]
posted by Draccy on Apr 24, 2016 - 10 answers

How do we break out of a years long separation limbo?

Over five years ago I (male) decided to separate from my wife. We’ve been married for 16 years. The dam burst of emotion that fueled my decision to separate was spent before going all the way to divorce. She hasn’t divorced me either. Neither of us has dated anyone else. Things have simmered to an uneasy state of limbo, where we’re technically married, yet more like just friends and co-parents. How do you break out of an indecision so powerful that any choice feels like dying? Warning: tsunami of text inside! [more inside]
posted by star fruit on Apr 15, 2016 - 22 answers

How do you know when your marriage over?

Wife and I have been having been in couples counseling for past 5 months for issues that started 2-3 years prior. How do you know when you should stop putting effort into saving the marriage? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2016 - 42 answers

Is a divorce reported to the IRS?

If you get a divorce, is that automatically reported to the IRS? [more inside]
posted by Fister Roboto on Apr 2, 2016 - 7 answers

What is a sensible response to a difficult situation?

My ex-wife has just advised she is taking my kids on holiday in just over a weeks time but the specific accommodation seems to be totally inappropriate for a 6 and 8 year old. She is going to Aya Napa in Cyprus which is renowned as a party resort. I feel very uncomfortable and nauseous. Am I overreacting? [more inside]
posted by numberstation on Mar 23, 2016 - 31 answers

Refinance or Sell? Finances + Ethics

Due to a mediated agreement in divorce proceedings, I'm faced with either refinancing or selling. I planned on selling the house soon anyway, but now my ex-partner is pushing to have it refinanced IMMEDIATELY. Looking for advice...lots more details beneath the fold. [more inside]
posted by guster4lovers on Mar 19, 2016 - 9 answers

Looking for a Divorce Lawyer in Boston

A friend is looking for a divorce lawyer in Boston who is reasonably-priced and ideally offers a free consultation. Also, any advice about what he should bring to/ask at the consultation would be extremely helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2016 - 4 answers

Recommend some children's books showing divorced parents!

I'd love to find some children's books that present something other than a traditional nuclear family just... as a matter of course, not as the focus of the story. Can you recommend some kid's books that a) show parents that don't live together and b) are not specifically about the process of separation/divorce? [more inside]
posted by Kpele on Mar 1, 2016 - 10 answers

Ex-Husband Racking Up Property Violations in My Name

Divorced for a decade. Ex-husband still lives in our formerly-shared house. Recently discovered that he has been racking up property violations... under my married name. Do I have any recourse? [more inside]
posted by sarling on Feb 29, 2016 - 20 answers

Finding an old op-ed piece about who can become president

I'm looking for a particular op-ed piece which I believe was written in the 1950s. I remember it was described as a "famous piece" and was being discussed back when Reagan was looking to become president. As I remembered it, the opinion piece did not take an overtly bigoted stand, but said Americans would not elect Catholics, Jews, blacks, women, those who have divorced, those from Southern or Eastern Europe, etc. I believe it boiled down the number of "acceptable" candidates to several hundred. [more inside]
posted by dances_with_sneetches on Feb 3, 2016 - 3 answers

Divorce lawyer in Toronto?

A couple of lawyers have given me opposing opinions and I'm feeling stuck. This community has given me a lot of great advice in the past, so...if anyone can recommend a reliable/knowledgeable divorce lawyer in the Toronto area (hopefully west of Yonge and hopefully less that $400/hr.) I'll be very grateful. I'm watching my Memail.
posted by bonobothegreat on Jan 24, 2016 - 2 answers

How to tell a narcissist I really did screw him over, this time

My ex has NPD and anger problems so I really don’t want to tick him off – but I think I’m about to. Please help me to mitigate the damage. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 22, 2016 - 16 answers

How do I end two relationships in a positive note?

Need help in ending two relationships in a way that is not too hurtful for any of those involved. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 21, 2016 - 15 answers

So if this is too bad to stay... then what?

Last night I read the section on "Power People" in Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay and so much of it resonated with me that I underlined most of the chapter. But I have a young child with my Power Person spouse and am not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by ABCApplePie on Jan 17, 2016 - 36 answers

Canadian Semi-Amicable Divorce

My friend ("J") lives in Toronto. She was recently surprised by her husband ("R") moving out and filing for divorce. She has need of guidance/support from knowledgeable people. Level of difficulty: she hasn't had a FT job in around 13 years, and their two middle-school age kids have autism (one low-mid functioning.) [more inside]
posted by SMPA on Jan 13, 2016 - 16 answers

Quick, Easy and Inexpensive Divorce in California.

What is the best way to go about achieving an amicable, no fault divorce in CA? [more inside]
posted by snsranch on Jan 12, 2016 - 7 answers

Getting separated, need a lawyer, have no idea how to find a good one

I am a Torontonian in the process of separating from my common-in-law wife. It's been mostly amicable. We've known for a while things weren't working and I finally made the decision late last year. I need to find a lawyer to possibly help with the separation details and also to help if we get to the point where custody becomes an issue. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 10, 2016 - 8 answers

Pick up the Slack or (Potentially) Let the Children Suffer?

I have been dating a man with three children (10, 6, & 3). His ex-wife relies on him tremendously. Should he continue to pick up her slack, or allow the kids to suffer/force her to pull her weight? [more inside]
posted by TauLepton on Jan 10, 2016 - 18 answers

Lawyer for a divorce, Bay Area (peninsula ideal)

A friend needs a good lawyer. [more inside]
posted by tangerine on Jan 8, 2016 - 5 answers

I want to be a good partner, but I don't have one!

I'm single at 40 after being coupled for my entire adult life. One of the things I'm missing the most is not having anyone reach for me (literally or figuratively!) because they want or need me. How can I stop letting this bother me? [more inside]
posted by metasarah on Dec 28, 2015 - 9 answers

What am I in for?

Those of you who have been divorced, where your spouse wanted to keep trying to save the marriage, but you did not. What was the emotional fallout like, and how did you cope with it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2015 - 25 answers

Separated Parents, Separate Expectations for Children

My ex and I share custody of our three children. She is very lenient and doting; I encourage self-reliance and responsibility within a structured framework. She is a helicopter, I am a safety net. [more inside]
posted by Mister_A on Dec 14, 2015 - 23 answers

Dating while 'separated'

My partner and I are divorcing after eight years, with the initial paperwork to be filed before the end of the year. However, we are still sharing a house (but not bedrooms). I am looking for a place to live, but realistically it will be mid-January, at the earliest, before I can move. We both have acknowledged this and have both expressed okay-ness with sharing the house in the interim. My question is about dating and ethics (I guess?). [more inside]
posted by mudpuppie on Dec 11, 2015 - 34 answers

It's been a long December-- reason to believe

It's been a long year for Draccy. I've separated, started divorce proceedings, had a huge mental health scare and am currently battling loneliness, shame and desolation. My hand aches where my wedding band used to be. I used to fidget with it. I miss it. So here's the scoop. [more inside]
posted by Draccy on Dec 11, 2015 - 22 answers

Need to decide whether to get separated from my wife

Will it be best for my kids in the long run? Will the inevitable guilt and loneliness be better than staying with a seemingly unchangeable loveless unhappy marriage?  [more inside]
posted by thrasher2399 on Dec 1, 2015 - 79 answers

Co-parenting woes

I've read The Co-Parenting Handbook and Raising the Kid You Love With the Ex You Hate and I'm in therapy, but God help me, co-parenting sucks. Please help me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 2, 2015 - 14 answers

Should I stay in the family home after we get divorced?

I'm getting divorced. As a non-primary caregiver with joint legal custody, should I ask to stay in the marital house on the weekends, in order to be with the kids? [more inside]
posted by QuantumMeruit on Oct 15, 2015 - 42 answers

Must choose between being good and being happy? T or F?

I'm a jumble of emotions right now. [TLDR]: The question is, can you be good if you break an unbreakable vow? Is it really a choice between being good and being happy? Is there a way to reconcile the two? [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Oct 11, 2015 - 43 answers

Feeling Lost

Five days ago my wife told me she wants to separate permanently. Everything since then has been a blur. I'm interested in hearing from others who have gone through something similar, to know how you made it through. [more inside]
posted by rabbitfufu on Oct 10, 2015 - 14 answers

Divorcing woman survival guide

I know the first and best answer is LAWYER, but I would like all the tips, tricks, advice, resources, and help yall can give to women who know the divorce should happen, but kids and money are issues. Maybe a step by step divorce and post divorce survival guide? [more inside]
posted by Jacen on Oct 9, 2015 - 14 answers

I'm having reservations about filing for divorce and I'm not sure why.

I've been separated from my wife for two-plus years. We both have lives in different parts of the country and are in serious relationships with other people. There's no way that we could or should be together, but we're both having a hard time accepting the idea of getting a divorce and I'm not sure why. [more inside]
posted by Fister Roboto on Oct 7, 2015 - 9 answers

Recommendations for post-divorce mortgage communication?

I need a legally-enforceable, semi "public" method for my abusive ex to communicate to me evidence of his compliance with his legal responsibilities. We are in dispute over previously shared property but I have insisted on no contact and do not wish to enable my ex to contact me over any issue but the property. I don't want him to have my email address or that of an alias/other account in case he uses that address to send abuse, threats, or any other kind of unnecessary and unwanted correspondence. [more inside]
posted by LetticeLeaf on Oct 6, 2015 - 18 answers

Appropriate ways of coping

Two years ago, my husband and I separated. A year ago we got divorced. Although he initiated the split, we both agreed it was probably the best thing to do. We had managed to maintain a cordial but distant relationship until a few weeks ago, when he informed me that he is dating an old friend of ours who also happens to live on my street. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2015 - 22 answers

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