738 posts tagged with Divorce.
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Co-parenting woes

I've read The Co-Parenting Handbook and Raising the Kid You Love With the Ex You Hate and I'm in therapy, but God help me, co-parenting sucks. Please help me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 2, 2015 - 14 answers

Should I stay in the family home after we get divorced?

I'm getting divorced. As a non-primary caregiver with joint legal custody, should I ask to stay in the marital house on the weekends, in order to be with the kids? [more inside]
posted by QuantumMeruit on Oct 15, 2015 - 42 answers

Must choose between being good and being happy? T or F?

I'm a jumble of emotions right now. [TLDR]: The question is, can you be good if you break an unbreakable vow? Is it really a choice between being good and being happy? Is there a way to reconcile the two? [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Oct 11, 2015 - 38 answers

Feeling Lost

Five days ago my wife told me she wants to separate permanently. Everything since then has been a blur. I'm interested in hearing from others who have gone through something similar, to know how you made it through. [more inside]
posted by rabbitfufu on Oct 10, 2015 - 14 answers

Divorcing woman survival guide

I know the first and best answer is LAWYER, but I would like all the tips, tricks, advice, resources, and help yall can give to women who know the divorce should happen, but kids and money are issues. Maybe a step by step divorce and post divorce survival guide? [more inside]
posted by Jacen on Oct 9, 2015 - 14 answers

I'm having reservations about filing for divorce and I'm not sure why.

I've been separated from my wife for two-plus years. We both have lives in different parts of the country and are in serious relationships with other people. There's no way that we could or should be together, but we're both having a hard time accepting the idea of getting a divorce and I'm not sure why. [more inside]
posted by Fister Roboto on Oct 7, 2015 - 9 answers

Recommendations for post-divorce mortgage communication?

I need a legally-enforceable, semi "public" method for my abusive ex to communicate to me evidence of his compliance with his legal responsibilities. We are in dispute over previously shared property but I have insisted on no contact and do not wish to enable my ex to contact me over any issue but the property. I don't want him to have my email address or that of an alias/other account in case he uses that address to send abuse, threats, or any other kind of unnecessary and unwanted correspondence. [more inside]
posted by LetticeLeaf on Oct 6, 2015 - 18 answers

Appropriate ways of coping

Two years ago, my husband and I separated. A year ago we got divorced. Although he initiated the split, we both agreed it was probably the best thing to do. We had managed to maintain a cordial but distant relationship until a few weeks ago, when he informed me that he is dating an old friend of ours who also happens to live on my street. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2015 - 22 answers

My Boyfriend is a Divorcing Dad: What is Appropriate?

I've never dated a dad before -- and now have a boyfriend with two children whose divorce isn't final. They are a very "low boundaries" family and I'm having a hard time dealing with what is said, discussed in front of his children... [more inside]
posted by alice_curiouse on Sep 26, 2015 - 31 answers

Help me find Eternal Sunshine for my not so Spotless Mind

My 8 year relationship just ended and I am trying to figure out how to move on. I know all of the general stuff from other threads and articles, but there are a few specific things that I am having a hard time with. Details inside [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Sep 24, 2015 - 22 answers

How to get a divorce quickly/easily? (Seattle, WA)

My ex and I have been divorced for years, but apparently the service we paid to file the papers hasn't and I'm just completely confused about all the paperwork and crap that goes with it. The ex is visiting my city in the next couple weeks - can we just walk into a lawyers office and get it knocked out? Anyone have a lawyer recommendation in Seattle, WA that will just take care of it so we don't have to do anything? [more inside]
posted by Craig on Sep 15, 2015 - 3 answers

Australian movie--ack!--I can't remember the title

Help me find this (I think) Australian movie [more inside]
posted by sugarbx19 on Sep 14, 2015 - 4 answers

Sister's husband filing for divorce. When does she need her own lawyer?

She's got a meeting scheduled with her husband and his lawyer, and she doesn't have a lawyer of her own yet. [more inside]
posted by TheBraveLittleSock on Sep 12, 2015 - 50 answers

Should we get a divorce to help with upcoming bills?

Should my wife and I, who still want to be married, get a divorce to better pay some LARGE bills that will be coming? [more inside]
posted by Leenie on Sep 12, 2015 - 21 answers

40 years old and have no friends. Where do I start?

How does a guy in their late 30s/early 40s make friends when they are horribly depressed and agoraphobic? See the more inside section for horrible details. [more inside]
posted by Draccy on Sep 6, 2015 - 26 answers

Getting divorced. Lawyer or mediation?

Getting divorced in Illinois. I still love my husband, but cannot remain married to him for many reasons, one of which being that I can no longer take care of him emotionally and financially without ruining my own life. My first instinct was to try to settle this using mediation or collaborative divorce (I don't even understand 100% what this is, honestly). Mostly because I feel enormously guilty for leaving, don't want to make it harder on him, and hope that we can still be a part of each other's lives. No kids, so custody isn't an issue. But there are some major financial issues, and some of the things he's said worry me. Sorry, this is kind of a long one. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 3, 2015 - 43 answers

Transitioning to a new home during divorce.

My partner and I are breaking up after 20 years. Neither of us trusts the other’s judgement and dividing our only asset has become hugely problematic. We purchased our home 18 years ago as a fixer-upper in what has since become a very desirable location, so there’s a large amount of equity in it. I never gave proper thought about how we’d move on from it, meaning this is one of those “explain it to me like I’m five” inquiries. I’d like to have sensible questions to ask at our bank meeting tomorrow. We have a meeting next week with a therapist and have agreed to some kind of professional mediation in the future. The thing is… my partner demands that we extend our joint mortgage-backed line of credit to allow her to purchase (outright) a smaller place in the countryside. For 10 years, she’s only done part-time work for my home business, so she won’t have any income going forward (except for support payments). I doubt she could get bridge financing under her own name. I want to avoid being drawn deeper into debt with her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 27, 2015 - 30 answers

Help with marriage counseling?

My wife and I are recently separated and there's some weird dynamics going on. Would appreciate your thoughts. Long details within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2015 - 40 answers

I am married and have left our shared religion. Can I make this work?

When my husband and I got married we were both practicing Muslims. We've been married almost 3 years and now I don't think I believe anymore. Can I make this work despite the religious differences? [more inside]
posted by deeba on Aug 22, 2015 - 17 answers

Can you teach yourself to be more compassionate in relationships?

Need help in stopping a toxic behavioral pattern in post-divorce relationships. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 14, 2015 - 7 answers

Group therapy vs. individual therapy (or both?)

I'm looking for some input on how best to proceed regarding my divorce and whether group therapy or an individual therapist would be best. [more inside]
posted by Twicketface on Aug 10, 2015 - 11 answers

How to DTMFA....when they are disabled

How to end a relationship with a partner who is physically dependent on you? How to deal with the guilt? [more inside]
posted by yawper on Jul 31, 2015 - 20 answers

I want a divorce, he doesn't

After a long consideration phase, I have decided that I want a divorce but my partner is refusing to start the formal process. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2015 - 25 answers

My Mom and Dad aren't in the fairy tale marriage I thought...

...and it freaks me out! Mom gets snippy and negative with Dad a lot more these days while he tries to sweep it under the rug. My little sister left home last year, and with an empty nest it seems things are changing for them. I'm worried about my parents. More inside. [more inside]
posted by johnpoe50 on Jul 25, 2015 - 31 answers

Licensed divorce mediator in the Philadelphia area

I'm looking for one, any recommendations appreciated. Many thanks! [more inside]
posted by life moves pretty fast on Jul 21, 2015 - 4 answers

How can I find legal advice on the other side of the continent?

I am getting divorced and I need a family law lawyer. I live in Vancouver, but it seems that I need to find a Toronto-area lawyer and I'm not sure how best to find one. Friend-of-a-friend recommendations and websites aren't making me feel less nervous. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow on Jul 20, 2015 - 3 answers

How do I deal with this intimate relationship with my ex?

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my divorce. The ex, our child, and I just spent the weekend with his extended family, visiting them in another state. We laughed, played darts, had a great time. We have been doing many things together (volunteering, gardening, walking, watching shows, going out) over the last month or so. Today he broke up with his girlfriend, because, among other reasons, he and I spend so much time together. But there is a problem. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2015 - 32 answers

How to survive life post-divorce?

Need advice from the hive mind on life after divorce. More inside... [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Jul 7, 2015 - 8 answers

Affordable Care Act Questions

I recently lost my healthcare coverage and would like to explore scenarios for obtaining coverage for my estranged wife and the rest of my family. [more inside]
posted by Mister_A on Jul 6, 2015 - 6 answers

Partying with ex-in-laws, sans the ex

I'm planning a #MEDIA-themed party. Some of my current siblings-in-law would totally dig this and it would be fun to have them there - we're all on good terms. However, I absolutely do not want my almost-ex (divorce proceedings underway) present. Is there any acceptable way to invite them but not the ex?
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2015 - 27 answers

How to navigate a potential divorce?

Hi. This is me. I have been thinking for a couple weeks and am leaning towards divorce. I have multiple questions about this. [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Jun 24, 2015 - 41 answers

Do I tell my friend that her husband left her to date a former student?

Should I tell her what my ex-friend is up to? If so, how should I tell her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2015 - 31 answers

Looking for a divorce lawyer in Portland, Oregon.

I need recommendations for a divorce lawyer and/or a divorce mediator in PDX. A few details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2015 - 3 answers

Take A (4800 mile) Hike

My (US Citizen) husband recently indicated that he’d like me (a UK Citizen) to leave. Where do I start? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2015 - 21 answers

Time for Her to Fly-eee-aiyyyy....

Asking for a friend: This is in New York State. She's been with her husband for 25 years, married for 15 of those. She's done trying to make it work, and wants a divorce. [more inside]
posted by itmightbecheese on May 8, 2015 - 7 answers

Separated after many years. Help me feel like I haven't wasted my life.

I separated from my ex-husband about a year ago. I am now 40 years old and I feel like I threw my life away on a marriage that never should have happened. Please help me to move on and be optimistic for the future. (Wall of text inside) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 7, 2015 - 26 answers

Divorce Process Question

Hopefully a quickie: Divorcing, and my car loan is in wife's name (as is registration), and her car loan and registration is in my name. Need your help/advice [more inside]
posted by Draccy on May 6, 2015 - 8 answers

Preparing to leave marriage, how to deal with sex in meantime

I am in an abusive relationship. Not physical, but mental, emotional and verbal. I want to stress that there is no physical abuse. I am getting my ducks in a row & working on an exit strategy. It will be ugly when I leave, so I really need to have things in order when I do. Problem is - I haven't had sexual relations with my husband due to the fact that his treatment of me over the past year has repulsed me to the point that even the thought of it makes my skin crawl. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 2, 2015 - 28 answers

Divorce across state lines

We lived in California. I moved to North Carolina. He stayed. I want to file for divorce in California. I'd like a little internet not-legal advice before I make my first move. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2015 - 4 answers

Divorce questions

I'm ending a marriage after 14 years and I have two questions. [more inside]
posted by Draccy on Apr 18, 2015 - 18 answers

How should I tell my 6 year old that my boyfriend and I are engaged?

I asked the love of my life to marry me this weekend, and he said yes! But what's the best way to tell the other love of my life, my 6 year old son? [more inside]
posted by pleasant_confusion on Apr 14, 2015 - 7 answers

How did you organize your decision making around divorce?

I'm debating getting divorced. I'm interested in the decision-making process. If you've debated getting a divorce - whether you ultimately decided to or not - what did your process look like? What did you do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 24 answers

How can I help my new love interest not feel like 'the other woman'?

Recently separated after long but loveless marriage. Re-conected with an old colleague. Like her a lot. (I'm wise enough to differentiate btw a rebound and the real thing). Don't want to hide this relationship to friends and acquaintances. But she's worried about my kids running into us together and she doesn't want to be 'the (perceived) other woman' in their eyes. How do I help quell her fears or is she right? [more inside]
posted by pman78 on Apr 6, 2015 - 31 answers

Is it ok to date/meet new people now?

I am in the process of getting a divorce. I have separated from my wife, have filed for a divorce but have not been able to serve her summons because she has been avoiding that. So, in a sense, the divorce process has not really started. Now I need to figure out when I should start dating or meeting new people again. [more inside]
posted by questionsquestions on Apr 3, 2015 - 29 answers

Ex is getting the house, need legal help in Denver, Colorado

My ex and I are trying to figure out how to transfer the house to her without me losing all of my equity. Unfortunately, she can't afford to just buy me out, and can't qualify for a new mortgage on the remaining loan balance if she's got a loan to me as well. I'm looking for recommendations on finding a lawyer to help vet a legal agreement, and any specific legal methods for making this happen. This is in Denver, Colorado. [more inside]
posted by hackwolf on Mar 31, 2015 - 11 answers

Am I being supporting or sacrificial? Taking things back a step

My boyfriend (just turned 30, and I'm 24) of nearly 7 months is very recently divorced (it was finalized 4 months ago and they have been separated for 9). He's the most open and communicative person I've ever met and keeps me as much in the loop as I need to be about where he's at and how he's feeling regarding his loss (but also keeps some details to himself that I probably don't really need to know about.) Our relationship started out very mutual and enthusiastic, and mostly still is but he's taking a few steps back to analyze himself and it's triggering my relationship anxiety. I don't know whether to trust my gut or quiet the fear. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus on Mar 30, 2015 - 26 answers

So, it turns out I've been married for the past two years. Help?

I found out today that the divorce I filed two years ago did not, in fact, go through. However, I've been filing my taxes as a single person during that period. What should I do? Are there other legal issues I may not be considering? Neither of us want and did not want alimony and we have no children, so that's not a concern. Thanks.
posted by Fister Roboto on Mar 26, 2015 - 9 answers

Marriage models?

Looking for research on good marriages, not memoirs or personal anecdotes. My therapist asked me the qualities of a good marriage and I hadn't a clue. My immediate family are all unhappily married, and I only recently realised how fearful my own marriage is and left. I basically assume that "If they're not beating you or cheating on you, that's enough." I'm looking for what comes after reading John Gottman: research on thriving marriages, including multicultural or historical. Books, documentaries, films and novels, scholarly keywords etc. I'm not looking for personal accounts but bibliography recommendations.
posted by dorothyisunderwood on Mar 22, 2015 - 15 answers

Best practices for talking to a child about separation

I need help figuring out the best ways to explain separation/divorce to my extremely precocious 6 year old. I'm hoping that this process can be as compassionate as possible all around, but the idea that I'm "ruining her life" by considering ending our marriage is plaguing me. Books, anecdotes, what you told your kids, etc - anything would be helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 19 answers

Is my marriage so unusual?

The other night I asked my husband if he is happy and, after about 30 minutes of thoughtful consideration, he said he feels the concept of a long happy marriage is overrated and that he "isn't not happy." He is satisfied. [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Mar 8, 2015 - 33 answers

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