449 posts tagged with Cancer.
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What happens if my father dies without a will?

My father has just been diagnosed with a pretty terminal brand of cancer. The last will he made is about 20 years old. I'm an only child and he's still married to my mother, but he seems completely uninterested in making a will. Whenever I ask him about it, he says he'll make one "eventually." I don't think that he gives a shit and I doubt he'll make a will. What now? We're in Alberta. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2016 - 10 answers

How to be a partner to a person with cancer?

I don't know what I can do to help my partner come to terms with his illness. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 22, 2016 - 15 answers

How to be supportive, when I can't be there in person

My partner is going to visit his parent, who has cancer and is in palliative care in another city (and might die quite soon.) Due to my own health, I genuinely can't travel there with him. What are some ways to be supportive of my partner, when I can't be there in person?
posted by Sockpuppets 'R' Us on May 5, 2016 - 6 answers

What to do about Bob the cat (lung cancer diagnosis)

My 11-year-old cat most likely has lung cancer with a poor prognosis. Aside from the heartbreak, I don’t know how to proceed in terms of surgery versus no surgery. [more inside]
posted by cat friend on May 5, 2016 - 14 answers

breast cancer care package

A friend has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'd like to send some care packages as she goes through treatment, but need some suggestions on what would actually be helpful / things she can use [more inside]
posted by raw sugar on Apr 24, 2016 - 22 answers

Catastrophizing about what could be a catastrophe

The next week is going to be a rough one for me. My father is going in for cancer tests this week. He'll be seeing a oncologist on Friday before getting a biopsy for what could possibly be lung cancer on Tuesday. He clearly hasn't been diagnosed with anything yet (so who knows, it could be nothing, I guess), but I have been a wreck since Monday. I cannot stop imagining the worst case scenario. I am so afraid of my father being seriously ill and dying and these thoughts are just consuming me. I am completely petrified. How can I cope with this uncertainty? And if the news is bad, can I even survive? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2016 - 24 answers

Letter of appreciation to teacher with late-stage cancer?

I recently discovered that my inspirational secondary school art teacher, Mr W, has lung cancer. Reports from my family suggest that it could be late-stage and not being treated, though his wife says they are 'staying positive'. Can I convey my thanks and best wishes without intruding at this time? [more inside]
posted by doornoise on Mar 21, 2016 - 14 answers

How to help a depressed, elderly, sick parent

My beloved dad recently got diagnosed with lung cancer and is now depressed. How to support him, when his internal world seems so bleak? I feel a little like a punching bag for all his frustration and depression, too - how to mend this? [more inside]
posted by sockandawe on Mar 18, 2016 - 15 answers

I'm Too Old for This Shit - Life Catastrophe Edition

My marriage is unsatisfying and problematic, I am in treatment for breast cancer, and the affair that was taking my mind off of these problems seems to be slowly, painfully fading. I turn 40 in a few days and my entire life is a disaster. How on earth do I cope with all of this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 6, 2016 - 18 answers

Give Me a Very Basic Primer on Multiple Myeloma

My mom just got diagnosed with multiple myeloma. I'm driving down to see her and take her to a bone marrow test next week, so I expect I'll be able to get all the specifics of her case with her and her doctors, but I'd like to hear from people with personal experience to set a baseline for my expectations. [more inside]
posted by Copronymus on Feb 25, 2016 - 7 answers

in limbo

My life's turned upside down within the space of a couple of months. My dad has cancer, I've left my job, home, and city to move home to be there for him. Everything is so weird right now, I feel like I am in total personal limbo and completely ALONE. Has anyone who's been in this situation before got any advice to share with me? [more inside]
posted by sockandawe on Feb 16, 2016 - 14 answers

Hit me with your favorite chemo head gear

The hair and I are parting ways. It’s freaking cold outside. The chemo will probably go on through spring-early summer, so I'll need some lighter stuff as well. I’d like to try and hide the hair loss as long as possible, if that is possible. I have looked at a lot of hats online already, but would like some recommendations as to what worked best for you. [more inside]
posted by instead of three wishes on Feb 14, 2016 - 9 answers

Can a CT Scan Determine Cancerous Node?

Asking for panicking friend who has had a painful swollen lymph node on one side of her neck for a few weeks. Antibiotics didn't help, so last week she had a CAT scan done and the doctor wants her in today for a follow up. [more inside]
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes on Feb 12, 2016 - 10 answers

Breast cancer treatment with special needs child -- help?

I'm asking this for a friend who was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. She's getting monthly chemo starting next week for 4 months. Following that will be radiation for 6 weeks and then Tamoxifen. She has an 18-month-old son born 3 months premature who cannot stay in daycare (he's immuno-compromised and has short gut syndrome, so the pediatrician has ruled it unsafe until he's at least 3 years old). We are looking for resources to help with child care during her treatment and recovery. [more inside]
posted by Unicorn on the cob on Jan 21, 2016 - 11 answers

How do I care for someone with cancer?

My SO has a large tumour we're expecting to learn is cancer. Chances of it being benign are small. Assuming surgery/chemo - how do I care for him, both physically and emotionally? We also have a 1yr old - how might he be impacted? What can I do to prepare for treatment? How can I prepare our home? I have never dealt with a major illness before. Thank you
posted by scuza on Jan 15, 2016 - 6 answers

Parent has cancer and I need help dealing

Parent has just been diagnosed with cancer. Quite apart from the emotional devastation, the administrative/family fallout burden is extremely hard to handle and there's just me doing it. Please help me figure out how handle this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 13, 2016 - 18 answers

Cancer troubles vs relationship troubles?

Boyfriend has colorectal cancer and I am starting to struggle to support him as I feel increasingly resentful and like I'm losing my own life to support his. Please help.... [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Jan 7, 2016 - 16 answers

Cancer After-care

My dear cousin is in Durango, Mexico and is recovering from breast cancer. She's had some standard treatment, but she has questions. [more inside]
posted by kamikazegopher on Jan 4, 2016 - 4 answers

OK to use topical steroid on cancerous skin?

I have been treating what I thought was dermatitis with a glucocorticosteroid cream; turns out it is actually a "pre-cancerous lesion", which needs to come off. In the meantime, can I keep treating it with this steroid? [more inside]
posted by Cardinal Fang! on Dec 22, 2015 - 1 answer

Talking about sex with a partner who has Stage 4 cancer...

I really need some advice on how to talk with my partner and address her questions about our sex life (or lack of it) as not only do we have a two-year old but my partner is also undergoing treatment for cancer. Help, please... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 16, 2015 - 22 answers

Best course of action when you have no Primary Care Physician?

I need to know where to begin -- I fear I may have a serious health concern but have no PCP/GP as I've only recently started taking responsibility for my health. [more inside]
posted by nohaybanda on Dec 8, 2015 - 15 answers

is this a bad idea?

Nearly 20 years ago I suspected that my father was having an affair. Now the woman who I suspected as his mistress has been stalking my LinkedIn profile and curiosity is killing the cat. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2015 - 36 answers

Cat has lots of fluid on her lungs

My 2-year-old cat is at the veterinarian’s office overnight. I’m afraid she may not have much time left. I’m looking for more information than I’ve got so far so I have a better idea of what I’m dealing with. [more inside]
posted by bryon on Nov 16, 2015 - 9 answers

Stop harassing my dying friend

How do I help a dying friend discourage another friend (unknown to me)from pushing alternative medicine/cures for her incurable cancer on Facebook? [more inside]
posted by b33j on Oct 30, 2015 - 20 answers

How to cope when you are pushed away?

I met someone fantastic. We really clicked and I was so excited about the future. [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes on Oct 21, 2015 - 12 answers

How can people help me as a caregiver for my spouse?

How can people help me as a caregiver for my spouse who is in hospice care? [more inside]
posted by otherwordlyglow on Oct 18, 2015 - 17 answers

Supporting boyfriend through mom's (terminal?) illness and the holidays

I've been dating a great guy for a few months now. About a month in he told me that his mom was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor 8 months before we met. His mom has done radiation and was seeming to get better in the last few months. He was making plans for me to meet his family for the first time on Thanksgiving. He just found out his mother has taken a turn for the worse (she's having difficulty walking), and I'd like to know: 1) how I can support him and 2) how to navigate meeting his family during this difficult time. [more inside]
posted by lafemma on Sep 29, 2015 - 11 answers

V complicated, but hopefully interesting question

I'm in love with a guy with cancer. I'm 31 and starting to feel like I want my life to move on soon. Cancer means it can't with him, and he doesn't want to plan a future right now. What to do? [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Sep 27, 2015 - 22 answers

Experience or advice welcome.

I will soon be accompanying a close friend to Dignitas where she will end her life (she has a virulent, newly diagnosed, Stage IV lung cancer). Has anyone here been to Dignitas in a similar role, or knows of anyone who has, and can comment on the experience? Long-time Mefite posting anon as assisted suicide is illegal in our country. Many thanks.
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2015 - 6 answers

Coping With My Diagnosis of Myelofibrosis

After two major hospitalizations for clotting disorders, I've been given a diagnosis of myelofibrosis from my hematologist. I'm confused and frightened and worried that I'll start to see every little ache and pain as a symptom of my disease. Full details below the fold. [more inside]
posted by alltomorrowsparties on Aug 11, 2015 - 5 answers

Embarrassing parents – encouragement please!

My parents are kind of difficult, and haven't been great parents to me. I find them embarrassing in some ways ( I feel terrible saying that but it’s true). How to navigate feeling insecure about them in front of my boyfriend, and the temptation to act insecure and pissy and create issues in my current relationship because of this? Would be great to hear reassurance from people who've gotten over their partner's difficult or embarrassing parents and loved them anyway, or from those who have difficult parents but haven't let it affect their wonderful relationship. Complicated by other issues (mostly cancer-related) – more inside! [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Aug 3, 2015 - 19 answers

Spouse's birthday... with complications

My spouse is having a milestone birthday. She's been fighting cancer for the better part of a year. I'm strapped as to how to show her how much I care. [more inside]
posted by kamikazegopher on Jul 31, 2015 - 20 answers

Help navigating USA insurance and employment for a sick relative.

One of my relatives has cancer. They’re getting treatment right now and understand the treatment plan. But since we’re in the US, of course there are insurance and employment woes messing it all up. I need help helping them navigate these issues. [more inside]
posted by Tehhund on Jul 31, 2015 - 6 answers

Bad doctor, bad diagnosis, or bad luck?

How do I respond to a puzzling prostate cancer possibility? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 17, 2015 - 15 answers

Where to find advice and support after Dad's mesothelioma diagnosis

My father was recently diagnosed with mesothelioma at age 83, caused by exposure to asbestos at his former workplace. Multiple doctors have urged him to seek a settlement by engaging an attorney. Is there any way to know which firms, if any, are reputable? The ABA website was no help. Also, where can we read about the experiences of other asbestos victims and their families to better know what to expect w/r/t his condition and also with w/r/t their experiences with claims for compensation? [more inside]
posted by miaou on Jul 14, 2015 - 6 answers

I have a bump under my tattoo. What can I expect?

I have a tattoo on my calf. In an area of solid black ink, there's a small bump in my skin. If I go to a dermatologist, what will happen? [more inside]
posted by theraflu on Jul 5, 2015 - 5 answers

Worries about our relationship in face of shitty cancer diagnosis

Please help me sort out my feelings about my relationship with my boyfriend, my relationship with his cancer, and how the two might be interplaying. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Jun 29, 2015 - 17 answers

My daughter has cancer

The love of my life has recently been diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. This seemed to come out of nowhere. In the space of a month from one checkup to the next she developed a 2.5 centimeter tumour. I'm lost. [more inside]
posted by malhaley on Jun 17, 2015 - 14 answers

Portland resources for one with low income and serious illness

Someone I know, who has practically no savings and no home, has just been informed that his biopsy was diagnosed to be melanoma at an alarming stage. Could you please point me to any cancer/low-income/housing resources in Portland, OR? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 13 answers

Why does my stupid body hurt so much?

After years of mysterious pains in my side, treatment for colon cancer in 2014 and a colonoscopy yesterday, last night I ended up in the ER howling in agony for hours. My doctors aren't really sure what happened. YAobviouslyNMD, but I'm hoping the smarties of Ask Metafilter can offer some ideas about what the hell is going on with my stupid goddamned body. [more inside]
posted by Ursula Hitler on May 14, 2015 - 24 answers

Hope in face of colorectal cancer?

My boyfriend has just been diagnosed with cancer of the colon. I don’t really know what I want to ask here, except to ask for some reason to hope that he’ll be okay, and to ask for advice if he’s not. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Apr 27, 2015 - 21 answers

I did not get the Angelina Jolie gene! Woo hoo!

Three of my cousins have tested positive for BRCA1 gene mutation, all in the last year. After a 3-month wait, I finally got the good news from the lab - I am negative! I need to tell my cousins... but how? I am elated but the last thing I want to do is add to their pain with my ill-timed, poorly delivered giddiness. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 18, 2015 - 16 answers

Lgsil with negative colposcopy and biopsy

This is my situation- had ascus and hpv negative 4 years ago, then 3 years ago was all normal now I have lgsil and they did a biopsy which was negative. They did not find anything in the colpo or biopsy. Now they tell me to redo the pap in 6 months. Has anyone experienced that- bad pap but normal biopsy and have to retest in 6 months? What is your experience? I am kind of scared cause I am wondering what is wrong with me
posted by barexamfreak on Mar 30, 2015 - 7 answers

Does marijuana cure cancer?

Can medical marijuana cure or at least be effective in some capacity in treating cancer? [more inside]
posted by otherwordlyglow on Mar 27, 2015 - 23 answers

Coping with mom's cancer while living abroad

My mom was diagnosed with stage iv cancer 10 months ago. She has responded fairly well to treatment and the doctors give her 3-5+ years. I live on the other side of the world with my partner and my job. I am in my early 30s. Where am I supposed to be? How do I make decisions? What does "Family is everything" mean? Is my partner family, too? How do I prioritize? [more inside]
posted by stumblingthroughitall on Mar 16, 2015 - 18 answers

Brother with cancer; now what?

My 30 year-old brother called me last night to tell me that he has been diagnosed with testicular cancer (based on blood markers/physical examination). His CT scan is later this week, and he'll be scheduled for surgery/radiation/? shortly depending on the results. If you have been through this, what can I do or not do to make this easier for him? [more inside]
posted by My Top Secret Sock Puppet Account on Mar 2, 2015 - 11 answers

Recommendations for a bone marrow transplant hospital?

A family member has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and their doctor has advised they pursue a bone marrow transplant. The doctor is able to arrange this through a regional hospital but I was asked to help research other possible hospitals where they could have this done. Do you have any specific recommendations for hospitals or facilities that do a large number of these or are uniquely qualified/specialized? Patient is based in the northeast US, please assume no insurance/cost/travel barriers at this point.
posted by brbmaroon on Feb 28, 2015 - 11 answers

What happens when you have melanoma?

Someone very close to me was diagnosed with early stage melanoma. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 19, 2015 - 10 answers

Breast Cancer Best Practices

I've just been diagnosed with breast cancer. As in, Wednesday. It is a small tumor, likely stage 1 or 2, but aggressive (ER+ and her2+) and I will have chemo, radiation, and then hormone-suppressing pills for a number of years. I am 38 years old and there is no history of breast cancer in my family. Needless to say, I am freaking the hell out. [more inside]
posted by something something on Feb 13, 2015 - 17 answers

Questions for triple-negative breast cancer recurrence?

I found out that I had a recurrence of breast cancer about two months ago, and subsequently had a mastectomy towards the end of December. Although it is a local recurrence, I was told that I should get chemotherapy. This was a big shock to me - I thought the mastectomy would be the end of it - and I couldn't really think of any questions to ask. I'd like to prepare a list of questions to ask my doctor, and would appreciate some suggestions. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by BuddyBoo on Jan 24, 2015 - 12 answers

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