Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with Birthday

What to do when you have left someone shortly before an anniversary and birthday....?

Anonymous — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 19:45:55 -0800

Two weeks after my girlfriend treated me to the most thoughtfully-indulgent birthday weekend imaginable, I broke up with her. Just a week has passed since we went our separate ways, but that means two weeks until what would have been our three-year anniversary and three weeks until her birthday, upon which I would otherwise be reciprocating her generosity. Is there anything I can do or say or give to mark the occasion appropriately? We were together almost three years, but in my heart there were obstacles preventing me from seeing her as the person with whom I might spend the rest of my life. As she is twelve years my senior at nearly 42, one of my worries was that the longer I stayed with her, the more I was forcing her to sacrifice aspects of life such as having children that I suspect, deep down, she would like to explore. I refused to co-habit with her and latterly found myself treating her with less than the respect she deserves, while hating myself for doing so.

She spoiled me rotten on my birthday, not just in terms of extravagant generosity but also in terms of lovingly-planned, meaningful gestures. To some degree I think this may have been a catalyst in my decision to end it with her. It was clear to me then that I owed it to her to set her free to find someone who will care for her and commit to her as deeply as she did to me. She railed against me for making an executive decision, but this was my choice. A choice made partly from selfishness and partly from love and a desire to see her have and be everything she wants.

Ending it with her and seeing her in pain was the most gruesome experience of my life. The past seven days have been the longest, most agonising and empty I can remember. I worry about how she is coping, how she is doing at work, whether she is being looked after and whether, like me, she is mentally looking ahead towards our anniversary that was not to be. Staying away from her, and not making contact, has been excruciatingly hard, though I am just about achieving that.

My previous long term relationship ended with me being the dumpee after eight and a half years. That was painful but in retrospect nowhere near as hard to bear as this breakup, of which I am the architect. I guess the mixture of love, loss, guilt and anxiety that I am feeling now is less palatable than the fragrance of fresh possibilities I could sense last time round. It's admittedly only been a week but I haven't been able to think of moving on or being with anyone else, even though two women have thrown themselves at me in the meantime.

Time and space will heal us, I am sure. But in the meantime, how do I address her impending birthday? I would feel it uncaring if a good friend or long term partner failed to acknowledge my birthday at all. And as I sit here amidst the many wonderful gifts she lavished on me so recently, it would seem preposterous not to offer something in return.

Is a simple card the best way to deal with this? A heartfelt letter? Do I approach offering my company, or continue to keep my distance, as she does from me? Do I avoid things I know she would like, because they are things that would be associated with "us"? Do I avoid offering my company and my presence? Will a useful, practical or fun gift entirely lose its charm because of the context in which it is received?

I don't want to intervene in a way that will cause her anguish. And I worry about offering her something that could be interpreted as symbolic, or that will later be looked upon as an icon of pain rather than beauty.

Help me find a gift for my sister.

OLechat — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 08:00:36 -0800

Help me find a birthday gift for my sister, who was recently hired as fashion designer... I want to get her something that will surprise her, maybe something related to her field, something she would need or find useful. She works for a sportswear company, and I know very little about that industry. Hints from other designers are appreciated!

Gift guessing that involves height, weight, birth date, address?

acoutu — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 12:03:42 -0800

Gift guessing filter: help me think of what this could be. My friend, who happens to be my personal trainer, recently asked for confirmation of my height, weight, address and full birth date (but not birth time or day of week). She says it is for some sort of gift that will arrive in a few days. What on earth could it be? I'm baffled. It's not for my birthday. It's just some sort of surprise.

Thanks. (I'll come back to say what it was. And I promise that, given the range of possibilities, you're not ruining the surprise)

So it's my birthday, now what?

Anonymous — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:43:46 -0800

It's been a bad summer, what to do for birthday? Birthday is next week. Depressed due to the constant stream of problems life seems to be handing out (work, relationships, kids becoming obnixous teenagers). Would like to do something generally fun and/or life affirming for birthday but can't think of anything.

I'm not looking for specific things, i.e. go to Museum X on Y street, or something location specific to my city (which I wish to keep private for various reasons), but something general, yet not the same old thing, i.e. set that old couch on fire,

My stats: don't have any nearby friends. Male, almost 40. Wife and kids will probably be with me. Like reading, movies, traveling a bit (but don't want to do those things on my birthday).

Thanks.

How to make a theme from all of these numbers?

Kimothy — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:41:27 -0800

My nephews have some numerically coincidental birthdays coming up, anyone have any clever ideas that we can use for the occasion? My sister has given me the task of coming up with a clever way of emphasizing the numbers involved with her sons' birthdays.

-One will be 5 on 11-3-08
-The other will be 3 on 11-5-08
-To further the number madness, their party is going to be held on 11-08-08.

My sister wants me to come up with a theme or invitation design - or both. The only specific instruction was that she wanted it make a point of the once in a life-time coincidence of all of the numbers involved.

Bonus info - the boys are very much into Thomas the Tank Engine and Disney's Cars, which they refer to only as "Lightening McQueen."

Mathematical hive mind, Help me be more clever than I am!

Should I pop this fine French red?

Thorzdad — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 15:09:10 -0800

Meta Oenophiles... Should I open my '86-vintage fine French grape? Back in 1986, when we discovered my wife was pregnant with our first, I bought a few bottles of wine with the specific intention of popping the cork with him on his 21st birthday.
Well, his birthday is this week. But, after reading a few reviews of both the bottles I bought, I'm beginning to wonder if it may still be too early.

The wines in question are the '86 Château Gruaud Larose and the '86 Château Ducru Beaucaillou

Based on the reviews, it seems these wines may have a few more years in them.

They've been stored adequately. That is to say, I don't have a proper cellar, but neither have they been subjected to any extremes. They've been kept quietly slumbering all these years in a cool corner of the house.

So, connoisseurs, waddaya think? Pop a bottle, decant and breathe it and toast my boy's 21st? Or show him the dusty bottle and tell him to open it in another 20 years? Personally, I'm thinking "drink it".

I want to give her a Gift, but without all the dying twice.

aristan — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:38:23 -0800

Buffy Birthday Gift Filter: Ack! I got my dates mixed up, and my friend's birthday is this Saturday, not next! Help me think of Buffy The Vampire Slayer themed (not necessarily branded) gift ideas. Looking for stuff that'd be easy to find in the next day or so. Here's what I've got planned so far... I had plans to order a few more things for her big bag of fun online but now there's no time! She's a huge BtVS and Angel fan and owns all the box set seasons on DVD, the original movie, etc. She loves Spike & Angel the most.

Right now I'm planning on giving her a big white box marked, I think appropriately, as 'The Gift'. Inside right now are the first two collections of the BtVS season 8 comics. And... well... right now, that's all that's in there. I'm thinking of buying a bottle of Vampire Wine if I can still find it, and maybe some wax fangs. I'd like some other ideas of items that might be related to the show, but not necessarily branded for the show (meaning, a product that gets mentioned or was important in the show at some point).

Any ideas are appreciated!

What's a gifter to do with unwanted gifts?

UtterlyDrained — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 08:41:55 -0800

My wife's battled depression for a while, and though she rallied and had a decent few months, she plunged back into the depths of it for the few weeks around her recent birthday (which seems to happen every year, but this year was the worst yet). She had us cancel any birthday plans, cake, etc -- didn't even want anybody to say "happy birthday". After asking a few times and receiving this same answer, I went along with it; it was her birthday, after all. Her mood has lifted since then, but she still doesn't want her presents -- says to return everything, and shuts down when I bring up the subject. Fine, I can return them, except for one, a custom order meant as a present from our four-year-old (call her "Olivia"): a set of coasters printed with Olivia's scanned artwork. What do I do with them? Ideas:
A) Trash them.
B) Give them to her anyway, wrapped, and say "open or trash this, it's up to you". Seems blatantly disrespectful of her explicit request, though.
C) Unwrap them and then give them to my wife, saying "would you, uh, like some coasters?"
D) Save them for another holiday
E) Use them myself, in my own space.
F) Olivia was excited about them, and would love having her very own special set of coasters. I could give them to her instead. They would be a reminder of this episode to my wife, which could be bad (always reminding her of the ongoing depression that caused her to turn them down in the first place, and of the fact that she refused to accept a gift from her daughter because of her own issues), or -- in a way -- good (reminding her that her depression and actions affect those around her). (There's a small chance this could backfire if Olivia insists on presenting them to my wife as a gift; she's been, for instance, occasionally wrapping up her toys in packing paper and giving them to my wife since the non-birthday, though my wife hasn't connected the two as far as I know).

Unhappy Birthday

Ash3000 — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 20:16:19 -0800

I had a shitty birthday today that seemed to confirm all my suspicions about my friendships, and my life in general, and now I'm not sure how to rebound. Here's the deal - as my questions in the past would seem to indicate, it's been a long, hard journey for me to get past the emotionally abusive household I grew up in, and the number of terrible incidents I dealt with in my adolescent and teen years, to become a person who does not consider himself depressed, or socially awkward. In the past two years, I feel like I've started to have friends, to really like myself as a person, to like the direction my life was going in personally and professionally - and, despite some awful relationship experiences, things've seemed to be continuing in that fashion.

But then, I turned 24 today, and for some reason the way that my friends treated it has me questioning all of that.

I sent an online invite a week ago to all my friends - instead of having it for a big party, it was for a bunch of small things I'd be doing in the NYC area, where I live, on Saturday and Sunday - going to improv shows, having dinner together, etc. Only a few friends RSVPed, but that was fine. Then, of the three things I had penciled in for today (Coney Island, movie, dinner), the first two had to be canceled for weather and reservations respectively - fine, no one was going with me to either anyway. Despite sending it out to 100 friends, just one good friend said she'd go to dinner with me tonight. I was really looking forward to it, even if it was just me and one other person, partially b/c the only proper celebration of my birthday had been going to the movies on Saturday evening with two old friends. Before dinner at 9pm, I spent most of the day sleeping off the fact I spent all night alone, watching a local improv marathon at a favorite spot.

I got an e-mail from her at 6pm, saying she was hung over from seeing an old college friend the previous night, and couldn't make it out, but maybe we could hang out in a week or two.

For some reason, I got so depressed that I just stayed inside. I literally did nothing during my birthday.

It was really just a visceral emotional punch, but the more I think about it the more I feel like I understand why it was so potent for me: the fear that I might have no real friends. About 30 people said "Happy Birthday!" on my facebook wall. By contrast, six people bothered to let me know if they wanted to spend time, yes or no, on my birthday weekend, four people total spent any time with me on Friday or Saturday, even if just 15 minutes in their neighborhood, and this one friend I really considered close decided to let me know off-minute that our birthday dinner was off b/c she got drunk the previous night.

I feel off-keel somehow. Has anyone dealt with something like this? Like they fundamentally question not just their friendships, but any so-called progress they've made as a person?

For your birthday, let's duet

strangememes — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 09:18:27 -0800

[KaraokeFilter] Karaoke night tonight and one of the group has a birthday at midnight. Help me find something special to sing! She loves to sing too, so this can be a duet. Heck, it can be a group number, we've got plenty of people coming. Any special karaoke-able, birthday-ish songs out there? Or any other ideas on making tonight's karaoke memorable for her?

If it helps, she's turning 27.

Free food in the east bay for a birthday girl?

meowN — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:34:46 -0800

It's my friends birthday tomorrow, and she's extremely low on cash and trying to figure out if there are any decent places (hopefully better then Denny's) around Oakland/Berkeley that give out free or greatly discounted food on birthdays. Any suggestions?

Water sports help

chickaboo — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:57:05 -0800

Please help me and my friend develop a water gun target for a 5 year old's birthday. My friend's son is turning five on Saturday and she's staging an Olympics theme party. The kids will have to throw a basketball through a hoop, run between some cones, kick a soccer ball through a target, throw a water balloon at a bucket and shoot a water pistol at.... what?

I feel like a paper target won't show whether they've hit a mark or not.

Keep in mind there will be 6 kids - so ideally they would be lined up doing this simultaneously.

And bonus points if you think we should add a game we haven't thought of.

Gift ideas for a 1 year old daughter?

rus — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:03:10 -0800

As a Dad I want to get something very special for my daughters first birthday. I've found some answers but nothing that quite hits it as these are for nephews/cousins/friends She doesn't need toys, she has a college/growing up fund, she doesn't need any more teddies, she has special party clothes. I'm trying to get an idea of something that will keep giving, or something she will look back in the future.

Fun 40th Birthday Celebration Idea Including Dinner?

slo — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 09:13:18 -0800

Chicago hive: any ideas for a 40th birthday celebration that includes dinner on a Saturday night for about a dozen people but is more fun than just doing dinner? My friend is turning 40, and we wanted to have a fun, intimate celebration that includes dinner but is more than just dinner. We tried a cooking class, but there are no openings that night. A few other things to consider:

- he does not enjoy games, so something like Whirlyball, bowling or poker night is out

- we have a decent, but not huge budget (so some of the fancier lake cruises might be prohibitive)

- it would be in the evening

Can you think of any unique venues that don't cost a fortune?

Ideally it would be something that makes it easy for the group to interact. If you've ever been to one of those birthday dinners at a long table in a loud restaurant where you talk to the same 2 people all night, you know what I mean.

Thanks!

Gift for parents' 30th Year in Canada

krunk — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 06:18:42 -0800

How can I help my parents celebrate their 30th anniversary of emigrating to Canada from Britain? They're having a party at the end of July, coinciding with both of their birthdays and their wedding anniversary. I suspect that none of their old friends from England will be there, due to travel costs.

I have 2 weeks to get something together. Any suggestions on a Canada/UK themed gift?

How to get celebrity autographs

Marie Mon Dieu — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 19:51:50 -0800

How do I get famous rock star/celebrity autographs for my teenaged son? When I was 8 months preggers with my son, I won front row seats to Emerson, Lake and Palmer's Black Moon concert. He danced a lot in my tummy at the concert, and now, related or not, he plays drums on a cherry-red set of Premiere drums, and jams on an electric guitar (Gibson lookalike) with his own band. He can also play horns, but he is so very awesome on drums and guitar, electric or acoustic.

He will be 16 at the end of October. I would love to get him as many rock star/celebrity autographs as possible, but especially ELP. Their site is not very user friendly.. and he also likes Slipknot and Atreyu. Paul McCartney, Aerosmith, former Zeps, Green Day, etc., etc. anyone would be good.

Do they really send out autographs and how do I get one? I wrote to Sean Connery's agent two years ago, as my son was named after him, and never heard a word. I was really disappointed in Sir Sean.

Where do I start? There are so many places on the web for paying to get agents' names but that did me zero good with Sean Connery.

Thanks so much in advance for any tips or links.

Solo 21st in san francisco- ideas?

acidic — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:28:14 -0800

I'm moving to san francisco, where I don't know anyone yet, right before my 21st birthday. Any meaningful/memorable ways to celebrate by myself? Relevant details: birthday is on a sunday. I'm a fan of good alcohol, 420, and outdoor activities.

I'm moving for work but don't really want to celebrate with coworkers or any other new acquaintances.

This could be geo-specific or not. I've considered having a boozy picnic with a good book, but I want enough stuff to do the entire day.

I'm also interested in trancendence-type things.

Keep on trying / 'til we run out of cake

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 16:15:24 -0800

GirlfriendFilter: What should my almost-but-not-quite girlfriend of two months and I do to celebrate her birthday? I'm in the entry phase of my first 'official' relationship. We've been dating exclusively for two months, taking it slow. I'm nuts about her already, and for once in my life, I sense the girl feels similarly. Still, I've been good in demonstrating affection in properly paced ways that don't command a restraining order.

She'll be out of town on her birthday, the 25th of this month. It'll probably be an uneventful day with her parents in an unfamiliar city. Sometime after she comes back I want to do something more interesting for her. We live in Austin, we're both pretty low-key people (therefore making skydiving an unlikely choice), and I don't want to go overboard for a relationship that isn't yet a relationship. Basically, I seek a day/night of fun that is a happy medium between 'dinner + [minor activity] + coffee' and 'giving her dad 20 camels.' This is not to be confused with 'what should I get her as a present'—can't go wrong with a book I know she wants.)

day spa in Bayside?

joshuaconner — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:27:19 -0800

Best day spa near Bayside, NY? For my grandmother who just turned 90!

Last pre-fatherhood birthday gift recommendations?

penciltopper — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 11:22:41 -0800

Birthday gift recommendations: this will be the last birthday before he starts getting Father's day presents too. Expectant father.
37 year old male.
Mac geek.
Quitting smoking.
Seattle resident, formerly Canadian.

Hive mind, what's a gift you got/gave or wished you'd got before the baby arrived?

Can you help me make an impression (literally)?

jasbet07 — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:29:36 -0800

Can you help me make an impression and/or leave my mark (literally)? I'm putting together a series of gifts for my partner's birthday all playing on the (slightly corny and very intentionally "punny") theme that she's made a very lasting "impression" on me and/or that she continues to leave her "mark" on my heart.

So far I've ordered personalized M&Ms (she makes me melt in her hands) Sharpies (she will always have a permanent place in my heart), and am having a cake made with a picture of her (sweet face) on it.

Other things I've considered:
Hiking boots (she needs new ones)
a piece of engraved jewelry

I have become known for theme presents. I also know that despite the eye rolls and her indictment of my humor as "grandpa-like," she actually very much appreciates it (it's the stifled laughter that gives her away).

So...I'd love to hear your other ideas (since I regularly use this site to research such things and am always amazed at the amount of creativity around here) - big, small, funny, serious, corny...I'll take them all! Nothing is too outrageous.

What to do for a Sixteenth Birthday?

knolan — Tue, 27 May 2008 08:06:05 -0800

I'm looking for gift ideas for my daughter's sixteenth birthday. She's not into the traditional Sweet 16 routine but still, I feel like the gift has to be more significant than a regular old B-day gift. About her: musical hippie type (has good guitar and equipment already), California girl relocated to Moscow Idaho two years ago; mellow, sweet girl. ANY ideas greatly appreciated.

Deli Delivery in Los Angeles

arha — Tue, 27 May 2008 06:03:22 -0800

I'm looking for a good deli that delivers in Los Angeles, Beachwood Canyon to be precise. I need a website or very patient people. My boyfriend is getting home from an overseas trip on Thursday, which happens to be his birthday. I'd like to organise a hamper of tasty foodstuffs to be delivered to him, as I know he hates shopping and is certain to have absolutely nothing in the fridge.

Complicating factors are that I am in another country (Australia) so I have to be able to order it over the web, or be able to talk to them on the phone and have them be very patient with me. Also, he is picky. It has to be fairly healthy but also gourmet.

Any LA mefites have suggestions for where I can get something delivered to him? The only LA deli I am familiar with is Greenblatt's on Sunset, which seems to deliver but I can't find a website for them.

How can I make oral surgery into a lovely birthday present?

brittanyq — Mon, 19 May 2008 23:29:04 -0800

My friend is getting her molars removed on her birthday - what can we do to make it better? We'd love to take her to do something fun, but are worried that the pain/pain meds will be too overwhelming. Is there anything that she could enjoy despite having oral surgery, or even enjoy more because of it? What can be we do make both getting her molars out bearable and her birthday awesome?

cool classic gift for a one year old

kanemano — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:18:00 -0800

Next Sunday is my friends son's 1st birthday, what can I get the little tyke that would be a great gift for about $50, it hopefully would be something that is not a stuffed animal, that will last until the time he has the ability to remember it.