I have been dating a man for just over a month that I met online. He is 41 and I am 33. He is simply lovely: kind, attentive, complimentary, generous, funny, smart, gainfully employed, family oriented and wants children, likes me a lot, socially/environmentally conscientious, cooks well, nice sense of style, has friends, etc. And, I'm not very physically attracted to him. I am 5'2" and his profile says he is 5'7" but I think he exaggerated ~two inches and has a slight frame. He is very fit, but the cave woman in me seeks a more commanding physical partner. There are other things about his physicality and bedside manner that don't "do it" for me, either, but the main thing is that I just prefer bigger men.
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posted by AlmondEyes
on Apr 1, 2013 -
35 answers
I've been in very few relationships in my life: 2 boyfriends of about a year each, and marriage for 8 years. I'm in my early 50s. I split with my husband at the end of 2001, and I've only had a very few first dates since then with men I met online, and no dating activity now for about 6 years. I am very overweight and have severe self-esteem issues, especially about my looks.
But apart from that and the whole question of how to even meet men, I'm curious about the phenomenon of people meeting and feeling mutual attraction. I'm not talking about falling in love or the development of a relationship, but the first moments of meeting and reacting to another. In the media mutual attraction is depicted as happening commonly; it's the norm, like if one person has something in them that makes them react to another, it's kind of because that second person also has that same thing in them and reciprocates the attraction.
Is this just a media construct? Is it pretty true-to-life?
posted by primate moon
on Mar 8, 2013 -
23 answers
I’ve realised in recent months that everyone I’ve been in a relationship with had/has a mood disorder - depression, or in a couple of cases, cyclothymia with crushing lows. This seems like more than coincidence. What can I do about it?
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posted by Someone Else's Story
on Feb 18, 2013 -
22 answers
As a 22-year-old woman with zero real relationship experience, I'm turning to AskMe in this time of indecision. One of my best friends wants to date me, and I like him, but I also want to make out with boys I might like more. Does that make me a bad person? Should I forget about the other boys? Details inside, naturally.
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posted by jouir
on Feb 12, 2013 -
33 answers
I love him deeply, miss him terribly. He loves me more than anyone he's ever met. We go together like peas and carrots. But I broke up with him over one health problem that he can and would fix if I told him how much it bothered me. Am I nuts?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 3, 2013 -
41 answers
I thought he was attracted to me. I'm really attracted to him. Turns out he's just really excited about my creative work. Help me find the words to be honest about the attraction and the fact that I'd like to get past that imbalance so we can do all the collaborations we want to do.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 16, 2013 -
19 answers
Over the past year, I've notice that I've been approached almost exclusively by noticeably younger guys. What's up with that?
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posted by gohabsgo
on Sep 30, 2012 -
22 answers
Where is this going?! Strong mutual feelings and attraction for a close opposite sex friend who is engaged...
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posted by Vareshka
on Sep 20, 2012 -
49 answers
How can I stop thinking about a girl I like, who's too young for me to say anything to, at least enough for me to focus on my work? (Snowflakey details inside.)
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 11, 2012 -
37 answers
How do I get over the fact that people find my boyfriend unattractive, how can my boyfriend and I make our long-distance relationship more romantic and interesting, and how do I deal with/get over the fact that he knows people from my past that I wish I didn't ever have to run into?
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posted by lilacp
on Aug 10, 2012 -
43 answers
How do I approach a castmate I've developed feelings for? We've been working on a show together for about a month, and I've developed an attraction to him. I immediately determined I should wait until the show closed to make any obvious moves, but I'm not sure how to do it.
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posted by lemoncakeisalie
on Jul 21, 2012 -
35 answers
How do you send clear signals when someone is flirty with you, but you are not interested, yet still like them as a person?
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posted by abirdinthehand
on Jun 30, 2012 -
13 answers
I'm not fully attracted to the girl I am dating, but I love her personality and we get along great, what do I do?
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posted by curious-mind
on Jun 24, 2012 -
65 answers
Why am I not in love with my girlfriend? I'm 25. She's 28. We're 7 months in and things are fine, but sometimes I wonder if things should be better. Am I over thinking things? Is more time going to change anything? Answers based off a guy's similar experience would be awesome, but all advice is appreciated.
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posted by yeahyeahyeah
on Jun 8, 2012 -
61 answers
I get obsessed with pretty girls to the point that they get distracting. How do I stop and does this mean something more? (I am female.)
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posted by ichomp
on Apr 29, 2012 -
26 answers
Is it normal for a woman to begin feeling invisible in her thirties? Please excuse the fact that this question might come off as totally narcissistic and a little crazy but it's been something that has been on my mind a lot lately and I was hoping to get some perspective on the situation.
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posted by thelastgirl
on Apr 4, 2012 -
48 answers
Found myself head-over-heels in love with my friend. Our interactions have gotten exceedingly flirtatious. Is she in love, too? What's your opinion? Details after the jump.
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posted by thatgirl1985
on Apr 3, 2012 -
39 answers
I'm single and I've been saying for ages I want to have more sex. I'm getting sick of finding I'm in the mood and not being able to (really) enjoy it. A new guy I met recently has fallen madly for me, and would clearly get physical if I showed any interest in him. Truth is I don't find him physically attractive at all, and I don't think there is any chemistry for me, but he seems trustworthy and an ok person. Assuming he would be ok with sex w/o a relationship, am I crazy to shag him just because I want the sex? Have any of you girls ever done this - what was it like? Worth it?
posted by EatMyHat
on Jan 28, 2012 -
33 answers
Help me figure out my own nature when it comes to passion in long term relationships. Yes, it's quite a bit late for me to be asking this.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 24, 2011 -
14 answers
I'm attracted to a new co-worker, it's making me act all stupid, and there's no escape. What techniques or strategies can I use to turn myself back into a sensible adult when I'm around her?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 10, 2011 -
19 answers
A few years ago I heard a story on NPR about research that found people are attracted to others whose names are similar to their own, like "Fred Garrett" might find himself attracted to "Margaret Johnson" because the "garet" in "Margaret" is similar to "Garrett." I've searched for it to no avail. Does this ring a bell? Anybody?
posted by wsg
on Oct 4, 2011 -
7 answers
How do I deal with my partner drastically changing his appearance in response to his baldness, and the way it affects my attraction to him?
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posted by Vinegaroon
on Aug 19, 2011 -
18 answers
Sexually attracted to men, emotionally attracted to women. My sexual orientation? I don't know. Lots of detail. I need support. Help me.
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 7, 2011 -
27 answers
I’m a 31-year-old straight woman living in the US and not at all religious. I've never been a big fan of physical contact unless it's with someone that I love. I never remember a time, where I looked at random guy or celebrity and thought, "Wow. I'd really like to kiss him." As I get to know a guy, I might or might not become physically attracted to him. It typically takes several dates though.
This weekend, I'm going out for the 4th time with a guy who I am still not sure about. I like spending time with him, but I am almost dreading going out again because I feel like after four dates, I should at least kiss him. I don't think I'm ready to kiss him though.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 29, 2011 -
35 answers
The clichéed two-part catcalling whistle that is performed at the sight of a hottie -- almost exclusively a man whistling at a woman -- that sounds
like this. Rising, then falling. Where did that particular "tune" come from? What is the earliest recorded instance of its use? How was it popularized?
posted by Greg Nog
on Jun 16, 2011 -
9 answers
Is it normal to be a female and not have many (okay, any) close guy friends? Should I actively pursue friendships with guys?
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posted by sunnychef88
on May 6, 2011 -
33 answers
My boyfriend and I live together, and the relationship is great, but things have gotten very 'comfortable'. I think it's time to take everything he thinks he knows about us and turn it upside-down (in a good way)! How though?
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posted by Sa Dec
on Apr 20, 2011 -
40 answers
It seems I don't have a lot of sustained interest in meeting new people or hanging out with people in general
other than people I'm attracted to romantically/want to date.
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posted by clever anonymous username
on Dec 19, 2010 -
11 answers
Is it my weight, or my being self conscious about my weight, that is making me unsuccessful picking up women?
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 27, 2010 -
38 answers
About a week ago, I was lying down on my bed not feeling well emotionally - I had been very low feeling and had lots of anxieties and stressful feeling for months.
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posted by antgly
on Sep 27, 2010 -
11 answers
