My temper has always been on the short side, and I'm really getting fed up with it. The little things (eg: getting cut off in traffic, hitting my head on a cabinet, unhelpful customer service, when the restaurant's out of what I want) especially get to me. I get totally carried away with feeling angry and end up being rude or short with people. Acting this way is not in line with my values. I want to be kind and generous with strangers and make their days better. Especially I don't want to mess up my relationship with family, friends, and (most of all) my girlfriend. Has anyone else had this problem and overcome it?
I've tried (with varying success): counting to 10, harmless acts of destruction (breaking a pencil), deep breaths, just being more aware of when I start to become angry (so I don't get carried away), and viewing my anger as a separate entity to be fought and overcome.
Happy to provide more info if it's useful in answering.
posted by Gravel
on Apr 11, 2013 -
35 answers
Death of a parent and a breakup- how to disentangle the two, get a virtual lobotomy regarding the breakup, and for heavens sake just fucking move on regarding the breakup.
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posted by xm
on Feb 27, 2013 -
20 answers
I have some very poor ingrained behaviors that center around low self-esteem. Has anyone been successful in interrupting the chain from emotional reaction->saying stupid things->causing upset and hurt? If so, how?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 8, 2013 -
8 answers
My theory is that, of all the emotions, people find anger the hardest to deal with. I know people don't like strong emotions in general, but they seem to be worse at coping with others' anger than in the case of other strong emotions. Why is that?
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posted by EatMyHat
on Feb 1, 2013 -
51 answers
I've been dealing with terrible health anxiety for several years, coupled with being incredibly short and angry with my wife when in the midst of a panic attack or uncomfortable symptoms. My wife is fed up and I need to make this better. NOW. I need recommendations for therapists that take Premera and any other ideas people have for dealing with this.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 8, 2013 -
4 answers
Menstruating women of Metafilter: Did/do you find that the older you get the more emotional you are around your periods?
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posted by kanata
on Dec 31, 2012 -
42 answers
Looking for recommendations of effective books/workbooks/web resources on emotional intelligence, abandonment issues, anger, fear, jealousy, trust issues and self-compassion. Bonus points for including all of the above and being available on Kindle.
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posted by f3l1x
on Dec 30, 2012 -
6 answers
People don't change. If accepting that reality is the way to peace, how do I reconcile it with being married to someone with whom I'm incompatible in fundamental ways? (I am committed to this marriage because we have a young child who means the world to me and needs me.) Do I need to stop believing there could be core change in another person's outlook on life?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 4, 2012 -
27 answers
My sister-in-law is not fond of my girlfriend and it's affecting my relationship. I'm hoping to get perspectives from others that may have experience with a similar situation.
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posted by miit
on Dec 4, 2012 -
57 answers
I really need help with being married to -- and raising a young child with -- someone who's living with long-term anger issues, depression, anxiety, and OCD (obsessive fear of doing violent things). I feel alone, sad, exhausted, and in way over my head.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 15, 2012 -
9 answers
I sort of lost it at a semi-work function. Should I apologize to my colleagues who were present? We work in the web industry and were having a sort of day where we all get together in one room and fix bugs, discuss new features, etc. Present were people from our company as well as other users of the software.
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posted by starpoint
on Aug 6, 2012 -
47 answers
I am a highly educated 27 year-old female, and I am at a loss as to what to do with my extreme emotions.
How does one manage a burst of emotions so as to deal with the situation in an effective and calm manner? Specifically, I need advices on redirecting or channeling my anger and sadness in a way fast enough that I can still remain in the scenario (even more specifically, when in conflict with my mother)... but one that does not involve self-mutilation.
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 21, 2012 -
23 answers
What's a good name for a blog on (interpersonal, not politica) conflict resolution and relationships?
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posted by sweetkid
on Jul 19, 2012 -
30 answers
Help me understand Anger and its relation to self-esteem, loving relationships, circmstances, and daily life. Are you or have you been and angry person ? to what extend have you been able to spot the causes and / or gotten better ? How did it feel ?
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posted by Jireel
on Jul 13, 2012 -
10 answers
My girlfriend has suffered a lot, and is very angry: she wants me to confront my housemate for his passivity to the abuse she endured. Should I? Long and complicated.
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 6, 2012 -
52 answers
How and why does meditation work? How does one do it properly (that is, in the way in which one may extract the most benefits)?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 29, 2012 -
29 answers
What methods have worked for you in terms of keeping a rational mind when you feel yourself becoming (rationally or irrationally) angry?
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posted by oink
on May 31, 2012 -
16 answers
This was me. That problem was resolved by him killing himself in our flat. While i was there. Sleeping. Now I have different problems, mainly what the heck do I tell people?
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posted by anonymous
on May 29, 2012 -
38 answers
I am angry at everyone who tries to be friendly with me because of a repeated thing that has happened to me socially and with my family as well. I really don't want to become bitter and friendless but I either feel like I'm putting on an act or I get angry.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 22, 2012 -
19 answers
I need professional help with trying to save my marriage to a person who has had profound anger, anxiety, and depression issues since childhood. I need help with leading her toward restarting therapy (and potentially toward reconsidering her insistence on no chemical treatment). Our relationship is in serious jeopardy and we have a child.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 21, 2012 -
16 answers
Change your pushable buttons. Everyone has triggers, or certain things that really bother then.
How do you get over or at least temporarily move passed something that pushes your really big buttons?
(when you can't tell the person to %&$@ off, or dissect the situation)
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posted by misformiche
on Mar 3, 2012 -
14 answers
I still have my eyesight (for now), but the diagnosis has triggered serious anger and midlife crisis issues.
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posted by bad grammar
on Feb 25, 2012 -
23 answers
I need some information about coping with a bipolar family member whose personality/behavior has changed drastically since she began getting treatment. Specifically, she has been going into hurtful rages and tirades (all verbal). I'm her closest family member, and I don't know if she's just really really angry with me about stuff or if her medication/treatment is a factor. This is very long, I'm sorry.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 4, 2012 -
14 answers
Acute anger treatment. Have you sought it or helped a loved one seek it? What are some treatment options and/or some family help organizations?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 6, 2011 -
2 answers
Help me figure out if this is a relationship dealbreaker-- my husband recently dragged me out of my chair, against my will.
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posted by DianaV
on Nov 26, 2011 -
66 answers
I'm looking for advice on how to help my five year old with some behavioral issues.
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posted by Cuke
on Nov 22, 2011 -
19 answers
I'm 10 weeks pregnant and I am so angry! I have less patience, tolerance, and empathy for everyone and everything. How do I calm down and get a grip?
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posted by fiasco
on Oct 15, 2011 -
29 answers
My father has anger issues and my family's reactions makes me feel like everything is falling apart. Can I do anything? If I can't, what can I do to cope?
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 14, 2011 -
23 answers
After years of not-quite-emotionally-healthy surroundings, I'm usually tense and awkward around people when they get angry because I'm expecting them to inevitably turn their anger towards me. My boyfriend totally doesn't do that! But now I realize that I don't know what normal people are supposed to do when their S.O. is frustrated.
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posted by sometimes_a_pony
on Aug 18, 2011 -
13 answers
A question about adult autism anger management issues in a housemate context.
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posted by lover
on Aug 14, 2011 -
30 answers
