14720 Ask MetaFilter answers by jessamyn (displaying 1 through 50)

When posting historical documents online, what’s the best way to deal with their inclusion of a racist slur?
comment posted at 8:40 AM on May-28-17


My friend rented an office in San Rafael, California with the understanding that the office would be air-conditioned. He has a medical condition that makes this necessary. They are not air-conditioning the office the way they promised. What legal recourse does he have? How can he find a suitable lawyer?
comment posted at 8:26 AM on May-26-17
comment posted at 5:30 PM on May-26-17
comment posted at 6:01 PM on May-27-17


A colleague (who is senior, better qualified, better suited in every possible way) just scored a major promotion. In no way was I ever in the running (I'm so junior that I hadn't even known the position was open) but it brought back all my carefully hidden anxiety about being adequate without being extraordinary at my job. Career snowflakes inside.
comment posted at 7:33 AM on May-25-17


One of my closest friends committed suicide, and left a shit storm for me to deal with. My emotions are a wreck. Can you help me navigate them?
comment posted at 7:53 AM on May-25-17


My (male) fiancé recently bought a hat to wear to our wedding. It is vintage (I'll post a pic when I get a chance--sorry, the camera on my phone is potato). What can I decorate it with that is NOT a feather?
comment posted at 8:25 PM on May-24-17


Hi! I’m interested in doing some research on collaborations between libraries and public media outlets. I am a full-time public radio employee (I’m an on-air host so what I’d be researching is not specifically job-related), and I’m not looking to leave my job. But I need a project! And I’d like to find resources not only for actually doing the project, but also for paying for it.
comment posted at 2:52 PM on May-24-17


My great aunt, whom I've had no contact with for five years due to her response to my decision to leave my abusive home, sent me a graduation card and money. I'm getting very passive-aggressive vibes and would just ignore it, but feel like the amount of money I've received obligates me to respond. Backstory inside.
comment posted at 4:15 PM on May-23-17


I've created a nifty new (free) website that could be useful as a reference and research tool, and I would like to share it with librarians (university level, primarily). What blogs, mailing lists, forums, etc... could I politely and non-spamily reach out to that might be interested in sharing such a resource?
comment posted at 7:24 AM on May-23-17


Are digital pen scanners worth it, or is there something else I should be looking at?
comment posted at 2:09 PM on May-21-17


I dropped my beloved hairbrush with natural bristles in my yet unflushed toilet: is it possible to make it sanitary and safe to use again, and if so, how? Should i just part ways with it?
comment posted at 12:19 PM on May-21-17


I hosted an old friend at my place for a few days. Before she left, she told me she loved staying with me because I had a comfortable home. While this made me feel pretty good about myself, I also thought I could ask the hivemind 1) what makes a home a comfortable one? and 2) practical ways to make short-term guests feel as comfortable as possible. Bonus points for things you appreciated as a guest in someone else's home.
comment posted at 8:00 AM on May-21-17


Understanding YANML or YANAL, here's the situation:
  • Mom passed away.
  • Her will gives her half of a summer cabin to my sister and I. (25% each)
  • The other half is owned by my two cousins (25% each).
  • I am the estate executor.

comment posted at 1:37 PM on May-19-17


When I was a kid (in the 80s), my family had a tape recording of a big dog walking around and growling and making himself known -- on an endless loop, as it was some sort of neverending cassette -- that we’d put on when we left the house to fool nonexistent burglars in our suburban neighborhood. Did anyone else have a dog tape?
comment posted at 5:30 PM on May-18-17


My partner and I have decided to move from our awesome but overpriced city to a more affordable area that is closer to both of our families. We will be doing this within the next year/year-and-a-half. I am very worried about breaking the news to my closest friend here, who can be very emotional and quick to anger.
comment posted at 2:39 PM on May-17-17


What would it take to be your favourite coworker/team member/subordinate/colleague?
comment posted at 9:34 AM on May-17-17


I want/need a new mouse for my iMac of roughly 2014/2015 vintage. It came with a battery-powered mouse...can I swap it for something rechargeable or plugged in?
comment posted at 7:14 PM on May-16-17


I'm in a sticky social quandary where a friend is asking me to lie to another mutual friend. Do you guys have any advice?
comment posted at 4:45 PM on May-16-17


I am the meeting facilitator for a fairly new activist group. We are lucky to be an intergenerational crowd, with active members ranging from ages 24 to 89! One challenge this presents is that several of our members are hard of hearing. Help me think of ways to improve the accessibility of our meetings for those folks.
comment posted at 2:07 PM on May-15-17


Everyone knows the black power salute of the olympians. And Colin Kapernick. But are there some lesser known examples of people in sport taking a stand for something they believed in? Politics. Racial issues. Sexual Equality. That sort of thing. Or any other actually.
comment posted at 10:37 AM on May-15-17
comment posted at 7:41 PM on May-15-17


Now that summer is coming, there will be 4 girls age 7-15 in my not-huge house for an extended period of time and I'm already freaking out about it. How do I cope with space invasion and a lack of control over the one environment I can typically control in my life?
comment posted at 9:39 AM on May-15-17


Hi. Thanks to everyone who helped with my last question, about acing my library page interview--it paid off, because I got the job! Now: do I pursue an MLIS or not?
comment posted at 7:41 PM on May-14-17


My sister has had significant, longstanding anxiety since her early teens (for the last two decades). She is always wound tight. When she's stressed out, she snaps at family (including me) and she's always stressed out. I can count the number of times I've visited her in the past decade and NOT been snapped at on one hand. I've had it. How can I get her to see that this is a problem?
comment posted at 12:15 PM on May-15-17


We're about to get an invoice from our financial planner. I suspect it's going to include both things I'm happy to pay for and things I'm not. What should I do?
comment posted at 9:15 AM on May-13-17


What are your favorite history mysteries or tragic tales of historical disasters? The creepier, odder, and more mysterious the better!
comment posted at 12:06 PM on May-12-17


Pull quotes in magazines and fancy layouts are often arranged artfully in the middle of a page and between columns and so on, but pull quotes online in a single article flow are trickier for me to figure out. Does one appear after that quote has already appeared in the text, or before?
comment posted at 8:20 AM on May-12-17


I don't want a portable A/C but, to all appearances, I have no other choice. Can you recommend the cheapest, most effective, smallest, lightest one you know (where I don't have to change the water, and which doesn't look like a small factory in my room)? Pretty please?
comment posted at 11:45 AM on May-11-17


Just bought a Macbook Air without realizing it has half the storage space of my old laptop. Oops! What are my best options for storing the movies and tv shows that are taking up most of the room on my computer?
comment posted at 8:50 AM on May-11-17


Streaming TV has completely sucked all the joy out of watching shows and movies. My biggest complaint is the way stuff is organized, endless lists of offerings that mean nothing to me, lots of crap based on something else I watched and did enjoy (I already watched that, so no, I do not want to watch the same type of thing twice.) I just can't anymore. Surely there is something good to watch? Looking for hacks and websites that make finding content easier. Please hope me. More after the jump...
comment posted at 7:28 AM on May-11-17


Using the NY Comptroller's website I discovered they have a record of unclaimed funds at an address I lived at 13 years ago. I tried to recover the funds using their online system but it insists I mail in a form with documentation. This was a long time ago and I don't have any documents listing this address. How do I get these funds?
comment posted at 6:11 PM on May-10-17


Asking for a friend, who is interested in the question of who "owns" (or controls) the internet. If there are other helpful ways to frame or think about this question, that would be valuable, too. Any resources on this topic are welcome. Thank you.
comment posted at 10:38 AM on May-10-17


I was reading this article on economic inequality and a Harvard professor was quoted as saying: "Smart poor kids are less likely to graduate college than rich dumb kids because of advantages that are available to them." Besides the obvious money -- what are these advantages (not limited to school, but career too)?
comment posted at 3:32 PM on May-8-17


I've been struck by a meme in 19th-century literature: women could love only once in their lives. In Trollope women pine for the man they loved (knowing they can never love again); in Goncharov's Oblomov the heroine, having "wasted" her love on the titular sad-sack, agonizes because now she can't love a worthy man. I can accept antiquated ideas in old novels (a man whose honor is impugned must fight a duel), but this seems so bizarre I'm wondering if people actually believed it or if it was an artificial assumption to provide plot motivation.
comment posted at 9:29 AM on May-8-17


Using Comcast (for home phone, TV and Internet) for some years but it's expensive. ATT bundled with the above three appears to give a big saving. What could possible go wrong? Your thoughts and advice needed please.
comment posted at 1:00 PM on May-7-17


My Mom died in January and she lived in another city. Starting about two weeks after her death, letters have been coming in the mail addressed to me (with my last name spelled incorrectly), and some to my Mom, with generic "we want to buy your house" solicitations. I get at least 5 a week. Should I... A. Hope the letters stop and ignore them or B. Return them to sender or something? I am afraid "returning" them will look like interaction, which will not make them stop. TIA.
comment posted at 8:36 AM on May-7-17


Bob lives in Smallville, USA, population 2,000. He has no family, friends, or job, and he keeps to himself. He takes a trip to Metropolis, a thousand miles away, whereupon he dies and is found by the Metropolis police. What happens to his house?
comment posted at 11:43 AM on May-6-17


Hi Mefi, I know you are not my lawyer but this is more of a sanity check question. A relative lives across the country and needs to deliver a document in the Bay Area by courier. They have asked me if I could do this, since, in their words, friends and relatives can legally act as couriers if needed. According to them, the envelope would contain an official court document. I would need to deliver it to someone in person, then fill out an affidavit listing the name, time, place, and appearance of the person. After that, I would need to get the affidavit signed and verified with a notary. Is this legit and would it cause me any legal hassles down the line (assuming I deliver and fill out the affidavit with accuracy)? I want to help my relative but I also want to make sure all my bases are covered. Thank you!
comment posted at 8:19 AM on May-6-17


I'm hosting a Kentucky Derby party but I do not own a TV. Can I stream the race online? Better yet, is there a way to watch it through Roku?
comment posted at 1:06 PM on May-4-17


I recently (< 1 yr ago) joined a tech company with very good perks, notably free meals, snacks, coffee, a gym, game rooms, etc. My spouse is a stay-at-home-mom. She expresses jealousy and resentment frequently and it's making me feel awful.
comment posted at 10:41 AM on May-4-17


as its finally so sunny and nice out, i'd be interested in hearing any recommendations you might have on some hella tight dark, creepy, murdery (mystery?), noir/horror movies or series. brownie points for small towns / rural ..places - don't mind if they're old, or done on a small budget or anything, just feel like putting a little bit of spook in the atmosphere this weekend.
comment posted at 10:14 AM on May-4-17


I need a cheap couch (loveseat) but not a terrible couch, what should my budget be?
comment posted at 9:22 AM on May-4-17


My daughter has been privately teaching ESL students online for a few years for a few hours a week, and taking care of me while I was recovering from cancer. She was just offered a new job, and is unsure how to explain this part of her job history if it comes up in her pre-employment screening as she's never filled out a 1099 or any tax form for it. How can she explain this issue if it is brought up? We are both worried sick that this will torpedo her new job offer.
comment posted at 9:16 AM on May-4-17


How do I video game? I have a TV, a Playstation 2 with only one working controller, and a very old Mac with Steam.
comment posted at 7:44 AM on May-4-17


I have about a month off with minimal responsibilities (obligations maybe 1-2 days/wk) and it's making me depressed. Too much time doesn't sit well with me. I can't leave completely and take a real vacation because of things I need to take care of at home. I'm looking for ideas and small projects to occupy my time. I've got the binging on television down. What else can I do?
comment posted at 6:42 PM on May-3-17


I'm looking to make a career shift towards the world of technology. How do I articulate what kind of job I'm looking for, what kinds of steps can I take towards making this happen, and did you do this?
comment posted at 12:34 PM on May-3-17


I have a long, ongoing feud with my mother. She is a narcissist and a drama queen and everything revolves around her and her needs. I am 47 years old and this has been going on forever. We recently stopped all contact. Last contact I had with her was mid-March when she hung up on me for the second time in as many months. I am disinclined to have any contact. However....
comment posted at 9:48 AM on May-3-17


I have recently been tasked with coming up with fun, different superlative awards for my fellow nurse coworkers to be distributed during Nurse's week (next week).
comment posted at 11:57 AM on May-3-17


I am autistic, and find the romantic relationships within my peer group incomprehensible. I also have difficulty with media depictions of romance - they are comprehensible, but inevitably I do not understand the emotional arc. I would like to read accounts from autistic people of their serious longer-term experiences with love/romance for a better gauge.
comment posted at 6:19 AM on May-3-17


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