14942 Ask MetaFilter answers by jessamyn (displaying 1 through 50)

How to be empathic about anxiety without giving myself anxiety at the same time?
comment posted at 7:59 AM on Sep-25-17


I found a brief news article from 1935 stating that none of the Radcliffe College Class of 1935 had worn makeup at their graduation. The article played this for laughs, but it seems there must have been some larger statement or protest. However, I can't find anything else online describing this event (assuming it was true and not concocted by the reporter as 1930s clickbait).
comment posted at 12:13 PM on Sep-23-17


It's hot. There's a squirrel that likes to sleep next to our window AC. We're going out of town. Squirrel experts of MeFi, what are the chances this thing is going to invade our apartment and terrorize our cats while we're gone?
comment posted at 9:10 AM on Sep-23-17


Difficulty Level: Canadian with no family doctor. For my entire life, I guess, I've really struggled with anxiety (probably depression), excessive worry, low-self esteem, and so on and so forth. I have had a rough year and my situation right now is really not... ideal. I am seeing a therapist, but I am having soo much anxiety. Is it honestly time to see a doctor for some sort of medication? How do I proceed without a family doctor?
comment posted at 7:33 AM on Sep-23-17


I have been a fan of his for some time, but can't seem to find anywhere online mentioning this, including his own site. I figure he would have certainly expounded on it somewhere, which I am curious about. Anyone? Thanks! : )
comment posted at 10:36 AM on Sep-22-17


Has the website bolt.cd shutdown?
comment posted at 7:51 AM on Sep-22-17


I work at an American startup. I remotely manage a two person team that is based in London. My boss tells me that it is inappropriate to compare the salaries of the two people, even though the rockstar performer is being paid less - and is a woman. I don't understand why. I could use advice on how to handle this as well as the overall sexist culture.
comment posted at 7:57 AM on Sep-22-17


Our 23-year-old lives with us. My partner and I are trying to figure out expectations, division of expenses, and how to encourage our child toward adulthood, and I'd love to hear about what other parents do. There are complicated factors having to do with disability, so do read, please.
comment posted at 6:26 AM on Sep-22-17


I'm looking for data I could use to populate a library catalog that I'm building. A while ago, I posted this on Projects. Now I'm at the point where I'm working to build my own catalog to test it out. The only problem is that I need some records to fill it with. Ideally they would be between 10,000 and 30,000 and only books.
comment posted at 1:46 PM on Sep-21-17


You have a book that you are halfway done. It is not what you expected. You hope it gets better but it doesn't. Do you finish the book or call it quits? How long does it take for you to decide that a book isn't worth the effort anymore? What do you do with this book when you are done with it? Donate, Trash, Put on a shelf.
comment posted at 7:41 AM on Sep-21-17


My podcast (you can find the link in my profile) is embarking on the 50 States Beer Project. I need your help in finding the best of the best in each US state (except Alabama, as I've already done that one). Difficulty: women who work in the industry.
comment posted at 9:57 AM on Sep-20-17


I feel like I need to stop working for a certain freelance client for my own mental health, and I'm not sure what to say to this person.
comment posted at 8:53 AM on Sep-20-17


I have subscribed to snacks from Nature Box for quite a while, but have grown increasingly annoyed with their website, pricing model, etc. I realized the only thing they make that I don't know how to replace with grocery store items is their instant oatmeal, specifically the apple-cinnamon variety. It has little dried out cubes of cinnamon-y apple, and when you pour boiling water over, the apple chunks become rehydrated and delicious, but not too sweet. Anyone know if there's a good brand out there that sells something like this so I could do my own instant oatmeal at the office instead?
comment posted at 7:18 AM on Sep-20-17


What are some books where the protagonist is naive/spoilt/sheltered and goes through a life changing experience that makes them worldly and resilient?
comment posted at 6:52 AM on Sep-20-17


You are a purse-carrying individual who drives a vehicle. Where do you put your purse for the drive? And how does a passenger in the front seat change your answer?
comment posted at 8:14 AM on Sep-19-17


My family is thinking of getting a cat. I would like my kids to have the experience of a cat birthing a litter and raising its kittens until it's time to give them away. This would be just one litter, and then we'd have the mother cat spayed. What is the best way of accomplishing this?
comment posted at 9:22 AM on Sep-18-17


My friend died. I am struggling with, I am sure, extremely normal feelings like "what's it all about anyway?" How do I work through this? My heart is telling me to quit my job and run away to the countryside but I'm fairly sure this is temporary craziness brought about by bereavement.
comment posted at 9:30 AM on Sep-18-17


If you developed a potentially worrisome medical issue, how much do you expect your partner to proactively follow up on it? By follow up, I mean actions such as generating their own questions or doing their own research?
comment posted at 9:17 AM on Sep-18-17


After the current bump in online chatter regarding Natalie Imbruglia's 1997 hit "Torn" actually being a cover of a relatively obscure song by relatively obscure group Ednaswap from 1993, I'm curious just how many of the songs I know and love are actually covers by popular artists of unknown/obscure bands/songs.
comment posted at 1:10 PM on Sep-16-17


I'm currently getting by with a 4S, but TMobile has dropped support; I now get 2G speeds at best for data, and cell coverage is spotty now, too. I am not a heavy phone user, so I could limp along and make it work for a little while -- I mostly need text/email/music functions -- but since a refresh seems unlikely to happen until at least Spring 2018, am I frustrating myself needlessly? Obviously, I keep phones forever, so being as futureproof as possible is an important consideration.
comment posted at 12:14 PM on Sep-16-17


How would you respond to a stranger/acquaintance who makes negative remarks about your partner/family/friend's hobbies (even when they are not present)? Specific examples will be appreciated. I need short effective comebacks which 1) are not overly rude 2) show my 100% support to the person being made fun of 3) make it clear I will not engage in further conversation if they do not stop.
comment posted at 8:17 AM on Sep-15-17


For my own personal safety, I need to get my old Flickr account shut down. I own the account but I cannot access it and I don't have either a Yahoo account or any recovery email or phone number connected to it. I need to log it in and either turn it private or shut it down.
comment posted at 9:54 AM on Sep-14-17


I would appreciate any suggestions on this letter I intend to send to the 6 bottle shops within a mile (1.5km) of my abode that I frequent much more often than is good for me. Doing this was suggested by the facilitator and encouraged by my group therapy pals.
comment posted at 6:22 AM on Sep-13-17


I have a property that we're not in a lot, so the air inside gets stale -- and this is most noticeable in the basement, which apparently traps humidity.
comment posted at 8:24 AM on Sep-12-17


I'll turn 50 in about seven weeks, and I've started having hot flashes. But this isn't a question about that. Instead, my problem is that every time I have a hot flash, I'm reminded that I'm going to be dead in 25-30 years, and its starting to really make me upset.
comment posted at 7:20 AM on Sep-11-17


I made a work error - not a serious, business destroying one, but a stupid one that was easy to avoid had I planned ahead - and I can't stop dwelling and beating myself up for it. Help me figure out how to get out of this circular thinking and move forward.
comment posted at 7:02 AM on Sep-11-17


My new downstairs neighbors run their bathroom fan for a total of two or three hours every day. We hardly run ours at all (maybe 20 minutes per day max, just while showering). What is normal bathroom fan usage?
comment posted at 9:39 AM on Sep-10-17


So I've been to the place that serves these amazing jackfruit sliders, and I'm excited that they shared the recipe and I can try them at home. But three tablespoons each of cumin and coriander for 16 ounces of jackfruit? That seems a little crazy to me. Can it be right? I have the ingredients ready to go and I can stay at home for the hours of cooking, so I'd really like to make them today, which means I can't contact them and ask.
comment posted at 9:41 AM on Sep-10-17


Virtually everyone, even with 20/20 vision, needs reading glasses at some point in their 40s. Or do they? Is there any way to stop or even stall the inevitable? I read about an app called "Glasses Off" that supposedly strengthens eye muscles but the reviews were very mixed. Wondering if anyone knows any strategies for avoiding the dreaded glasses. (Yes, I should ask my eye doctor, but I don't have one.)
comment posted at 6:01 AM on Sep-10-17


I have a legal right to something; I know. But in this situation involving my apartment building manager I also don't want to be an ass. How do I proceed?
comment posted at 6:04 AM on Sep-10-17


I have some not-great pictures of one a rodent in our garage, cunningly evading a rat trap and eating it's bait without setting it off. But what kind of rodent is it?
comment posted at 2:54 PM on Sep-9-17


How did they measure and test typing speed before computers? Also, how would I measure and test typing speed on a computer, but without Internet or software other than Word?
comment posted at 2:30 PM on Sep-9-17


I have a bad cold. I need some relief but despite many, many attempts have never successfully swallowed pills. What is my best choice of OTC medicine to get? No pharmacist available. Usually I get children's meds but any other choice?
comment posted at 1:57 PM on Sep-9-17


Later this month, we're taking our first long-distance train trip, on the Coast Starlight from Seattle to Los Angeles! We gather that delays can be part of the Amtrak experience. We're considering heading immediately to Anaheim to hit Disneyland first thing the next morning. Is it reasonable to plan to catch a connecting train, or should we make other plans? We don't particularly want to rent a car or be stranded. Schedules/details within.
comment posted at 1:50 PM on Sep-9-17


I'd like help finding where to buy inexpensive LED night lights with manual on-off switches, like this discontinued Safety 1st night light. Now most night lights are auto-on, light-sensing, which means they tend to flicker in moderate light situations. Bonus points for an LED with warm tone light.
comment posted at 6:55 AM on Sep-9-17


I KNOW IT'S TRUE I JUST CAN'T PROVE IT. I am having the world's dumbest argument with my brother about triangles. He says if you have two triangles, with two pair of proportional, corresponding sides, then the triangles have to be similar. I say no, you totally can have two non-similar triangles with two proportional, corresponding sides.
comment posted at 7:17 PM on Sep-8-17


I'm going to be in Boston in mid-February, 2018, for a few days (which days are yet to be determined). What should my family and I do while we're there that requires advance planning? For example: when we went to DC, I got tickets to the African-American History Museum months in advance. I used to live in Boston but I don't know what's going on now. We've got adults, teens, tweens, with a variety of interests.
comment posted at 2:27 PM on Sep-6-17


By the standards of MetaFilter and the rest of the world, my mini drama with my mother may not amount to much. That said, my mom drives me a little nuts and has a LOT of questions. So many questions. Constantly.
comment posted at 9:44 AM on Sep-6-17


How can I unpack my emotions about a friend's recent decisions?
comment posted at 11:38 AM on Sep-3-17


Web development for cats, the perfect AskMe question: An animal adoption org in Durham is trying to move to an easier-to-maintain web system. They are considering one approach (Wordpress, with interest in a couple of significant plug-ins) and have talked to one web development firm so far. Looking for insight on their technical approach and also advice on overall approach or other firms.
comment posted at 9:29 AM on Sep-2-17


1. Preferably inkjet, but I'll consider good value b&w laser printers. 2. Preferably for less than 200 dollars. 3. Preferably sold at Amazon, Best Buy, Walmart, or Newegg.
comment posted at 12:17 PM on Sep-1-17


The other day I bought a bottle of bleach at the market. Normally for this kind of item I'd look for the cheapest generic version. However, the Clorox brand has a no-splash pour spout that works well, and for that my clumsy butt is willing to pay an extra 70-80ยข. We've had questions about worthwhile splurges on the higher end. What are some practical* examples of features that are a relatively cheap upgrade?
comment posted at 9:07 AM on Sep-1-17


Pretty much as per the title: I've just learned that my SO's ex will be at a weekend group event with us and is angry I'm attending. As an introverted, semi-anxious person, I'm looking for some tips for how to power through. Details within.
comment posted at 7:15 AM on Sep-1-17
comment posted at 9:43 AM on Sep-1-17


Are there any examples of non-human animals intentionally curtailing either resource consumption or reproduction in a way that would indicate a kind of understanding of ecology? Are there animals that, given super-abundance of resources and/or lack of predation will alter their behavior in such a way that obviates population boom and bust or general unbalancing of their ecosystem?
comment posted at 6:41 AM on Sep-1-17


Outside my apartment window, there is a persistent, 24-hour, fan noise hum that pulses at a low vibration. It would be different if it were steady, but it pulses like an alarm, but low. It's driving me crazy. It even sneaks in through earplugs. I went looking to find it, but there are complications in terms of zeroing in on it. I need to find a way to stop it.
comment posted at 5:38 AM on Aug-31-17


For some time now (I don't believe it was always this way), Google Books has been padding its search results with books that do not themselves contain the search terms entered. Is there any way to only get results that are actual books containing one's search terms (and not just results from across the web)?
comment posted at 6:11 AM on Aug-31-17


I want to try peppering my projects and daily tasks with motivating rewards, but I'm having trouble thinking of enticing things to reward myself with. I don't want to use food, since conflating eating with merit seems potentially harmful. Any ideas? All suggestions are helpful.
comment posted at 12:57 PM on Aug-30-17


I have been posting pictures on Flickr for over a decade. I just like having my pictures in one place and I don't need feedback or anything like that. But I would like to follow some interesting people.
comment posted at 7:48 PM on Aug-29-17
comment posted at 7:49 PM on Aug-29-17


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