Cheap Birthday Activities in Portland, Oregon

October 12, 2004 5:41 AM

Today is my 21st birthday. None of my friends have any money, I have 50 dollars to spend, and I can drive. What can I do for my birthday in and around Portland, Oregon?

Ok, now I have 70.

posted by Keyser Soze to sports, hobbies, & recreation (27 comments total)

Escort?
posted by Pretty_Generic at 5:44 AM on October 12, 2004

21st birthday? I'd say the obvious.
posted by jonmc at 8:12 AM on October 12, 2004

Alas, for the passing of Henry Ford's!

I'd grab a mini-keg of beer and head for Cannon Beach or Seaside and make a roaring beachfront fire and have a windy, chilly campout.
posted by norm at 8:18 AM on October 12, 2004

Keyser's turning 21? Tomorrow's going to be a banner day on AskMe. :-)
posted by jpoulos at 8:22 AM on October 12, 2004

Happy birthday, keyser soze. My advice: Get on a subway, find a bum, and give them a $70 gift certificate to the nicest restaurant in the area that can provide a good meal for that amount (or for half that amount, if you'd like them to be able to bring a friend. Use your aforementioned driving ability to drop them off there.

Helping others: a good way to kick off your adulthood.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:22 AM on October 12, 2004

Go pour a beer into the crater at Mount St. Helens.
posted by bondcliff at 8:22 AM on October 12, 2004

2 words: Lap Dance.
posted by jonmc at 8:31 AM on October 12, 2004

1. Use this to go on a tour.

2. Think of something you've never done, then go do it.

3. Be a tourist. Visit Pittock Mansion, the Gorge, Mary's, Voodoo Doughnuts...anyplace you would recommend to a visitor.

4. Write down all the things you've accomplished so far, and figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life.

5. I'm kidding about #4.
posted by frykitty at 8:48 AM on October 12, 2004

Whatever you do, try to get carded as many times as you can. Even if you've had a fake ID all along, there's nothing like the real thing, baby. No bouncer in the world can stand in your way now.

Happy birthday, Keyser - !
posted by scarabic at 8:55 AM on October 12, 2004

Happy birthday, man!

I drank a couple of stouts on my 21st and palled around with my buddies. Depending on your buddies, it might be your best option - I wouldn't necessarily change anything about my own; I like those guys.

On the other hand, there's nothing like either miniature golf or a good ecdysiast's emporium, depending on how rowdy you like to get. If you pick this option, read this for some shockingly bad advice. $70 won't ordinarily get you too far, BUT it being your 21st birthday should get you fawned over all night - the first thing you want to do in there will be show your driver's license to the girls.
posted by ikkyu2 at 9:11 AM on October 12, 2004

I did karaoke. It was great. I was too drunk to appreciate the fawning though. I'm told I received a lethal dose of ethanol, in fact.

30 shots of Old Krupnik's Honey Liqueur plus cocktails. Lovely stuff.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:15 AM on October 12, 2004

Happy Bday!

Um, bars will give you free drinks.

WHO WANTS TO BUY KEYSER A CD OR SOMETHING?

stupidsexyFlanders , that's very cool.
posted by Shane at 9:28 AM on October 12, 2004

There's always the Sandy crawl. Start at the Sandy Jug and hit as many bars as you can (one drink each) on the way down to the Sandy Hut (going in the direction of where Sandy and Burnside converge if that's not obvious). Gustav's/Rheinlander is conveniently placed in the middle to provide the food sop up all of the alcohol, avoid having an Optimator there as it will slow you down too much.

The bars on Sandy are so divey that they'll probably comp 1/2 your drinks, you'll get free or reduced price lap-dances, and you're definitely going to get carded--probably more than once.

If you're still able to walk when you get to the Sandy Hut you can either wander over the river to the bars on the west side of Burnside (the Marathon has $0.21 pitchers on your 21st birthday, so you could take your cheapskate friends out) or you could head toward SouthEast hitting as many of the low rent strip clubs as you can handle along the way (I'd suggest Sassy's if you go this route...).

Good luck, and Happy Birthday!
posted by togdon at 9:28 AM on October 12, 2004

I just went to a haunted house next to TGIFriday's near Washington Square--13th Door--and it was actually pretty fun. It's $15 a pop. So I'd use your $50 to get you and an easily frightened friend drunk or high, then wind through the maze.

There are several other haunted houses in the area, too. The one at Jantzen Beach looks scary.

For a totally different, but very nice, birthday treat you could take yourself out for dessert. When my friend turns 25 on Thursday I'm taking her to SE Division and 34'sPix, which has the most awesome non-ice cream desserts you'll ever find. There's also Staccato Gelato two blocks north of E. Burnside on 28t, which has yummy, organic Italian-style ice cream. Another kind of ice cream--rich and filled with candy--is available at Cold Stone Creamery, on Hawthorne and 34th.

If you feel like celebrating your old age with booze, Mint, at 816 N. Russell, is rumored to have the best bartender in the Pacific Northwest. I've never been there, though. Happy hour is 4 to 6:30 p.m., according to their web site.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:12 AM on October 12, 2004

Ok, now I have 70.

happy birthday. how did you make 20 dollars in a minute?
posted by matteo at 10:48 AM on October 12, 2004

happy birthday. how did you make 20 dollars in a minute?

two words: lap dance.
posted by jonmc at 10:53 AM on October 12, 2004

Happy birthday! Have a blast, and do tell us what you did.
posted by languagehat at 12:31 PM on October 12, 2004

Happy birthday! It's a pity your friends are all broke, I had mine go out with me and pay for it on my 21st. Nothing like having friends buy you 5 or 6 drinks and then drive you home after an evening of fun.


And jonmc, aren't lap dances what you're supposed to get on your 18th birthday?
posted by cyrusdogstar at 12:51 PM on October 12, 2004

Happy birthday, KS. I second trying to get carded as often as possible. Bonus points if you end up at a bar where there's a bridal shower type thing going on. A bride-to-be whom I didn't know was instructed by her bridesmaids to nibble on my ear. Or perhaps she wasn't instructed at all...

Makes me nostalgic for Chetti's, where I spent my 21st nine years ago, then many many nights afterward.
posted by emelenjr at 1:10 PM on October 12, 2004

Happy birthday. If you catch this before six (pearwaldorf at gmail dot com) I'll buy you a drink at the Market Street Pub. If not, work your way down West Burnside or 21st and 23rd. Bars a-go-go, and they'll all give you free drinks on your 21st.
posted by calistasm at 2:46 PM on October 12, 2004

Happy birthday! I went to Dave & Buster's after turning 21, thinking I would feel all special since they're 21+ without an adult chaperone, until I realized that most of their clientele is in fact 10 year olds and their mothers. Huh. Anyway, I third the idea of getting carded over and over, for no reason other than the satisfaction of proving that by God, you are not a tall 14 year old.

Today's my birthday too! I celebrated by spending the day painting.
posted by Hypharse at 3:29 PM on October 12, 2004

Happy birthday Hypharse, good odds.
posted by Keyser Soze at 4:20 PM on October 12, 2004

calistasm, thanks for the offer. I would go but I am going to have dinner with my family. Thanks for the offer, that is really cool.
posted by Keyser Soze at 4:37 PM on October 12, 2004

Boldog Szuletesnap, Keyser... (Hungarianfilter, since you scared the poop out of the Hungarian mafia....)
posted by zaelic at 4:54 PM on October 12, 2004

Leave the car keys at home - you have 70 bucks for travel. Have fun in what ever you do - Happy Birthday to You...and manyyyy...more.
posted by thomcatspike at 5:15 PM on October 12, 2004

Happy 21st Keyser!
posted by Tarrama at 5:37 PM on October 12, 2004

Happy birthday, Keyser!

stupidsexyflanders: neat idea, but in Portland we don't got no subways, so if you want to be cool you talk about the MAX.
posted by cortex at 7:34 PM on October 12, 2004