November 20

How to be content in a new marriage?

I happily married 6 months ago, but since then have the urge to leave everything and escape. How do I sort through these feelings? [more inside]
posted by ilyilynot to Human Relations at 9:19 AM - 25 answers

Porn doesn’t necessarily bother me, but the medium does?

My boyfriend watches porn, which doesn’t normally bother me. But why do certain mediums he watches it on bother me? It feels a lot more personal and I’m not sure if/how to address it. [more inside]
posted by socky bottoms to Human Relations at 9:07 AM - 33 answers

Should I rehome my dog?

Family members have suggested that I rehome my dog. I am beyond pissed at them for suggesting this but understand their concerns. Help me figure out the best thing to do in this situation. [more inside]
posted by Malleable to Pets & Animals at 9:03 AM - 38 answers

Android email app

I would like an email app for my Android phone where I can view both my yahoo and gmail emails in a non-threaded style. I am fine paying for it. [more inside]
posted by latkes to Computers & Internet at 7:55 AM - 12 answers

Nuking the North Sea

Over on the blue, this thread is discussing wartime experiments in undersea tsunami-creating bombs. A while ago, I found a reference to cold war Soviet plans to nuke the North Sea, wiping out the oil field infrastructure and causing a massive tsunami that would devastate the north-eastern UK coast. This was before the Russian revelations mentioned in the thread. I've been unable to re-find my original reference or anything else related. Fantasy? Fiction? Real plan? Any atomheads know more?
posted by Devonian to Technology at 7:47 AM - 2 answers

Fillings for sandwich cookies that don't require refrigeration?

My family makes a few delectable sandwich cookies that unfortunately cannot be easily shared because the creamy fillings need to remain refrigerated. How do I determine which recipes would be safe outside the refrigerator long enough for, say, sending through the mail in the Great MetaFilter Cookie Swap? [more inside]
posted by Soliloquy to Food & Drink at 7:15 AM - 5 answers

deep cuts en francais

I am trying to find the teacher's edition of an old (1995-ish) French grammar workbook. [more inside]
posted by quadrilaterals to Education at 6:54 AM - 0 answers

Retirement Gift

Assume you know nothing about someone except that he is in his early 60s, Brazilian but living half the time in Florida, and an executive at a multinational corporation. What would you buy this person as a retirement gift in the $350 range? [more inside]
posted by something something to Grab Bag at 6:15 AM - 15 answers

Doing things that make you sad.

Ever since my mom became ill, I have been having a really hard time keeping in touch with her. I need to be strong and be there for her, but I subconsciously avoid calling or interacting in general. How can I get over the sadness and go back to being a loving daughter? [more inside]
posted by Tarumba to Human Relations at 5:12 AM - 12 answers

Meal Trains for Other Purposes?

Are there sites that are like those meal train websites (to help those with severe illness or mourning) but which help organise hangout times? Or a way to customise those sites for those purposes? [more inside]
posted by divabat to Grab Bag at 4:57 AM - 4 answers

Looking for a bath caddy

I am looking for a bath caddy with specific features. [more inside]
posted by drunkonthemoon to Shopping at 4:33 AM - 0 answers

Does split bills = cheap ? ( asking for splitting within 3rd dates)

Recently I have met one guy I really enjoyed sharing the intimacy with him, he's a new grad but unemployed for 6 months. [more inside]
posted by dadaxiang1204 to Human Relations at 1:45 AM - 32 answers

find this toy (transformer)!

My 4 year old son has become transfixed on a particular toy he wants. Problem is, I can't find it. Can you? [more inside]
posted by Cannon Fodder to Shopping at 12:47 AM - 9 answers

November 19

Reach Out, or Let it Be?

I’m trying to decide whether to make one last attempt at contacting a person I admire, or to let it go and move on. I'm a little concerned about seeming intrusive since I discovered the person through an older blog and only found contact information indirectly. [more inside]
posted by Carouselle to Human Relations at 10:31 PM - 9 answers

Books about cooking/learning to cook that aren't cookbooks

I love reading about other people learning to cook! Both in cooking schools and at home. Looking for more recommendations! [more inside]
posted by skycrashesdown to Media & Arts at 10:26 PM - 13 answers

How did you find your graduate school major professor?

I am probably going to apply for graduate school in the spring in the sciences. People who have a graduate degree in the sciences, how did you find your advising professor? [more inside]
posted by Foam Pants to Education at 8:39 PM - 7 answers

James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

Is it in poor taste for non-Jews to play/sing the Adam Sandler Chanukah song?
posted by Chrysostom to Religion & Philosophy at 8:32 PM - 14 answers

London in December with a child

I'm going to London between Christmas and New Year's, to meet another of my children, and hopefully catch some sights. I have maybe 6 days max in the city and some logistics questions. Both of us are decent travelers in Asia. [more inside]
posted by dorothyisunderwood to Travel & Transportation at 8:29 PM - 16 answers

Cox internet phone: how to record calls?

We get our landline phone service from Cox as an internet based phone service. I'd like to record calls on this line. What is the best way of doing this? [more inside]
posted by mattu to Technology at 7:44 PM - 4 answers

I just need to vent

All the windows in my apartment can only be opened a little bit at the top (like this). How do I vent the kitchen when cooking? [more inside]
posted by airmail to Home & Garden at 7:24 PM - 11 answers

Recent hard science - not necessarily science-fiction - thrillers?

Oh hey look a book question. After a bunch of depressing non-fiction (pretty much everything from this previous Ask) it's time to lighten the mood with Kim Stanley Robinson's mammoth Green Earth. Anything else in this vein, perhaps a little more thriller-ly, but most certainly science-ly? [more inside]
posted by turbid dahlia to Media & Arts at 5:53 PM - 9 answers

Garage door opener mystery

A neighbor's garage door remote is opening my garage door. I have tried SO MANY things to fix it. Please help! [more inside]
posted by insoluble uncertainty to Home & Garden at 5:29 PM - 9 answers

Exploring SE Asia

Planning a getaway to SE Asia this Spring. Not experienced with international travel. How do I begin? [more inside]
posted by little_dog_laughing to Travel & Transportation at 5:22 PM - 21 answers

Fancy schmancy breakfast for drunks

I'm going on a ladies' weekend next week. We have a woman who doesn't eat red meat, and an egg allergy. I need a luxurious hangover type breakfast that doesn't have eggs! I'd intended to make an overnight type casserole (bread soaked in egg overnight, with ham and cheese) but that so doesn't work. She does eat turkey bacon. Any ideas? I'm a great cook but not experienced with the no egg thing.
posted by Ftsqg to Food & Drink at 5:10 PM - 24 answers

Reinforcing the recall command? Any tips?

When I first got my rescue dog, Huggy, mefi was very helpful in assisting me as a newbie dog owner. Thanks! I've had her now for almost two years, and it's been wonderful. Until yesterday, I would have said the one thing I was sure of in her training was that she was responsive to the recall command. And she always has been, until she wasn't and the consequences could have been dire. Is there anything further I can do to strengthen it, or is she simply doomed to life on a leash? [more inside]
posted by frumiousb to Pets & Animals at 4:49 PM - 8 answers

Are nous still enchantés?

Do French speakers still say enchanté(e) on first meeting or is it outmoded? What are possible (more) casual alternatives? [more inside]
posted by runincircles to Writing & Language at 4:47 PM - 10 answers

A lot of latte, with a little effort

My partner drinks a lot of lattes. I'm looking for a way to make lattes at home to cut down on cost, but am not sure the best way to go about it that's a) inexpensive and b) efficient. [more inside]
posted by brook horse to Food & Drink at 4:41 PM - 25 answers

Ongoing iron deficiency cause?

I've had iron deficiency for many years (not anemia apparently - I have a normal red blood cell count, although they are small) and have lately been going through All Of The Tests to find out why, with no answers yet. Anything else I should be thinking about or asking my doctors about? [more inside]
posted by fleecy socks to Health & Fitness at 4:35 PM - 15 answers

Cruelty free, organic, quality makeup... that makes a great gift?

My sister has requested cruelty free makeup for Christmas, and I'm at a loss.... I know I can just google "cruelty free brands" but can you recommend a great one that is also organic, sustainable, maybe that donates to a good cause, etc? And even better - recommend a nice palate or collection from said brand, that would make a good Christmas gift? [more inside]
posted by silverstatue to Shopping at 3:16 PM - 16 answers

Can I eat it? Red pasta sauce containing canned tuna left out all night

Last night I added some vegetables (broccoli and green peppers) and canned tuna to a jar of commercial pasta sauce, heated the whole lot until the vegetables were thoroughly cooked, ate half, put the remaining half into a loosely covered container about an hour later, and then forgot to put the container into the fridge (grrr!). It was sitting out for about 8 hours in total. Is this safe to eat?
posted by mydonkeybenjamin to Food & Drink at 2:33 PM - 17 answers

Two Buck Chuck, but Six

I am looking for a cheap, decent red wine as a stable for our liquor cabinet. Give me your best recommendations of bottles between $0-$10! [more inside]
posted by Suffocating Kitty to Food & Drink at 2:31 PM - 30 answers

39th birthday party ideas in Seattle

I'll be in Seattle with 10-20 of my coworkers for my birthday. Party suggestions? [more inside]
posted by crazycanuck to Food & Drink at 1:18 PM - 8 answers

Asking work/life advice for a friend down in the dumps

A good friend of mine is spiraling (aren't we all in the US) and I'm at a loss as to help him. Mostly looking for practical actions but "headspace shifts" also acceptable. [more inside]
posted by zinful to Human Relations at 12:44 PM - 7 answers

Advice on how to unlock an Ipad

My father has a 2nd generation ipad mini that he cannot use because he has forgotten the password, and Apple customer support has been no assistance. Please help me help him use his device. [more inside]
posted by parkerposey to Computers & Internet at 12:33 PM - 7 answers

Can I chance a hormonal IUD if hormonal BC pills didn't work for me?

I took hormonal birth control pills briefly a dozen years ago and stopped because they gave me migraines. Am I crazy to now consider a hormonal IUD? [more inside]
posted by anderjen to Health & Fitness at 11:34 AM - 13 answers

Name that thing: 1920s house edition.

This thing must have been for a phone at one point. What I don't understand is the space below. It looks like some kind of speaker grille but I can't figure out what it would have been for. There's a big hollow space behind the grille but there's no obvious way to open it. Maybe the previous owners screwed the shelf on in such a way that prevents it from being opened? If I were to access that space, can anyone think of something useful / interesting that could be done with it? Thanks!
posted by sewellcm to Home & Garden at 11:13 AM - 11 answers

Where and how and why are my photos?

I migrated my photos from Apple Photos to Google Photos and hate it. I can't migrate back, so now my photos are in multiple places. All I want is 1) all my photos in one place where 2) I can share to Facebook and 3) I can upload to Shutterfly. My next step is to hire a teenager, but I am hoping I don't have to. [more inside]
posted by arcticwoman to Computers & Internet at 8:40 AM - 3 answers

Underrepresented or Up-and-Coming [Indie?] Games?

Where can I find underrepresented or up-and-coming games that I can post onto my YouTube channel that thousands of others aren't already playing? [more inside]
posted by TinWhistle to Computers & Internet at 8:27 AM - 6 answers

Online Dating and Expectations

Are my online dating expectations reasonable, or should I try being more open/giving people more chances? [more inside]
posted by bearette to Human Relations at 8:09 AM - 22 answers

Will no one rid me of this vile video buffering?

My phone data plan has been mysteriously eaten for ~3 months, despite no change in browsing habits. I disabled image loading in Firefox and that helped some with data usage and also helped me ID a culprit: unwanted video buffering. How do I stop video, especially HTML5 video, from buffering? Note: I am not interested in youtube only hacks, or Facebook's stop autoplay. The buffering data use is the injury, the autoplay is the insult. [more inside]
posted by jointhedance to Computers & Internet at 8:01 AM - 6 answers

What to do with my (literal) emotional baggage?

I have been decluttering and I find myself unable to throw out coursework/dissertation copies from undergrad/grad school as well as equipment etc. associated with failed passions/dreams. [more inside]
posted by whitelotus to Religion & Philosophy at 6:38 AM - 22 answers

Good way to acknowledge being "uninvited" to a party?

I accepted a party invite by a casual acquaintance on FB, but looks like they've now uninvited me. I'd like to let her know that a) I won't show up and b) no hard feelings. Main aim is to minimise future awkwardness, so maybe I should just say nothing? What would you do? [more inside]
posted by hirsutebob to Human Relations at 5:41 AM - 13 answers

Advice on troubling relationship incident

While we were having a fight, my partner kicked me accidentally and I don't know how to feel about it. We usually get along well (we are both very anti-confrontational). I grew up with a verbally abusive parent and I am used to smoothing things over as much as possible. I feel like I don't have any perspective from which to look at this incident and tell if it is really worrying, or just an accident, or a small red flag to keep an eye on. Any opinions are welcome. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations at 5:37 AM - 39 answers

Recommendations for Christmas for a very special baby?

I am looking for recommendations for toys/books etc that Santa could bring. I especially want to find things which other Downs kids have loved and found useful for aiding their development. [more inside]
posted by mrbenn to Grab Bag at 4:10 AM - 5 answers

Income tax on repayment?

Will I pay tax on my daughter's repayment of the loan we took out to buy her house? [more inside]
posted by Peach to Work & Money at 2:31 AM - 5 answers

Deducting closing costs in off-market home sale

In working out the details of a real estate sale between siblings, should closing costs be considered in the price? [more inside]
posted by lalas to Work & Money at 12:13 AM - 20 answers

November 18

How do I know what kind of programming skill to ask for in a project?

First off, let me begin by saying I'm out of my depth here so I will try to present this question as clearly as I can. I have basically no tech skills/knowledge, and the only reference point I would have for this project would be a database (relational?) like Access running queries to compare subsets of information against each other to come up with a report that integrates info from different databases and questionnaires. [more inside]
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis to Technology at 9:52 PM - 9 answers

Not Ready to Dive In

Should I abandon ship whenever someone tells me they’re not ready to dive into a relationship? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by AlexandriaParis to Human Relations at 9:29 PM - 23 answers

What does it take to move abroad?

I am curious about what it takes to move to or spend significant time in another country, especially during a time in my life where most of my peers are "settling down" and launching their careers. I've lived/worked abroad briefly, but nothing on the scale of 3-5 years. [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit to Travel & Transportation at 8:13 PM - 18 answers

Book recomendation: fiction by authors who excell at anthropology + psyc

I love reading fantasy and science fiction, but my two favorite books are actually slightly off from the norms for these genres: "hyper-realistic culture-focused fiction" is what i'll call the target genre for this book search. All recommendations are welcome! :) And if you can tell me a bit about why the book(s) you recommend fit this category, that too would be much appreciated! :) [more inside]
posted by ch3cooh to Media & Arts at 7:52 PM - 31 answers

I can't find this damned Christmas tree...

Last year, when it was too late to buy a Christmas tree, I saw a beautiful, pre-lit artificial Christmas tree on a blog, and now I can't find it again. [more inside]
posted by ersatzkat to Shopping at 6:06 PM - 12 answers

Help me win our Christmas decorating contest

The small private university I work for as a departmental Christmas decorating contest each year. The winners always have some sort of theme and I need help brainstorming ideas for this year. We have basically no budget, but tons of enthusiasm. I work for the business school and our offices are located in a one-story house on campus. [more inside]
posted by shesbookish to Grab Bag at 5:49 PM - 8 answers

Seeking stylus-based note taking and synching app with a certain feature

I have a feeling I haven't seen this because it doesn't exist, and perhaps it CAN'T exist! But here it is: [more inside]
posted by DMelanogaster to Computers & Internet at 4:36 PM - 2 answers

A very specific question about a very frustrating social network.

In a fit of alcohol-induced brazen networking, I sent a Facebook friend request to someone I've been wanting to connect with. Now, much more sober, we are not connected, and I see the default "Add Friend" button on their profile instead of the "Friendship Request Sent" icon that usually shows up when a request has been sent but neither accepted nor rejected. I know one possible explanation is that the request was already received and rejected -- but what if I actually never pressed the button? [more inside]
posted by telegraph to Computers & Internet at 4:23 PM - 5 answers

Species which went extinct because of super-specific sex?

I'm sure that I've read about species (animal or plant) which went extinct because they had some specific sexual habit or preference or requirement which turned out to not be very robust in the face of change. However, I'm having trouble thinking of any examples now. Is this a thing that actually happens? Can you think of examples?
posted by clawsoon to Science & Nature at 3:51 PM - 14 answers

What's irritating the skin on my upper back?

Several years ago, the skin on my upper back (on and around the shoulderblades; not in the middle) started getting dry, flaky, bumpy, red, and mildly itchy. What might be causing this? Could it be my shampoo? Or a reaction to some other irritant? You are not my dermatologist. [more inside]
posted by escape from the potato planet to Health & Fitness at 2:59 PM - 14 answers

VW mechanic in Sacramento?

Seeking a mechanic in South Sac or Elk Grove who specializes in Volkswagens, especially one familiar with the old air-cooled engines. Thanks!
posted by Rash to Travel & Transportation at 2:48 PM - 3 answers

Easiest way to clean floured countertop

I've been ramping up my baking on the way to Christmas and cleaning the countertop is the most annoying part of the whole process. Help [more inside]
posted by tedious to Food & Drink at 2:03 PM - 17 answers

Books/Articles on tattoos in Mexican culture

[ResearchFilter] I am trying to find information about tattoos in Mexican culture for a class project, and am coming up blank. I'm looking for recommendations on both the info itself, and tips on how I can find resources better on my own. [more inside]
posted by motioncityshakespeare to Society & Culture at 1:50 PM - 7 answers

Need a Cookbook in Japanese

I want to buy a beginning American cuisine cookbook in Japanese in the United States. Help? [more inside]
posted by ceramicblue to Food & Drink at 1:07 PM - 3 answers