October 17

How do I discourage my annoying coworker from asking me to hang out?

I have a co-worker who really wants to socialize, but while I like her all right as a person, and we have some things in common, I find her incredibly difficult to work with. This makes me feel like I don’t want to hang out with her after work, which she is constantly trying to initiate. [more inside]
posted by TochterAusElysium to Human Relations at 9:50 AM - 16 answers

Easy to use, compact practice gear for keyboards and guitar

I want to practice guitar and keyboards on headphones. Please recommend equipment to do this - including a new cheapish guitar - as easily as possible in a tiny space. [more inside]
posted by kristi to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 9:47 AM - 10 answers

Why am I having a strong reaction to ending a short-term relationship?

I started dating someone I met online and things were going pretty well. I knew up front (and I told her on day one) that I didn't want a long-term relationship. I recently ended it (reasons explained below) but I'm still having some strong emotional reactions. The question isn't about our compatibility, I'm mainly curious if others have had similar experiences. [more inside]
posted by modernman to Human Relations at 9:36 AM - 18 answers

Is someone taking over my digital identity?

I've now gotten two alerts that indicate that either a new device has been added to my account or is using my account. Is someone taking over my digital identity? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by rednikki to Computers & Internet at 9:36 AM - 9 answers

Names of victims in Commonwealth v. Welansky (1944)

I've been looking for the names of the 19 victims of manslaughter cited in the 1944 case Commonwealth V. Welansky--the first criminal case from the Cocoanut Grove fire in Boston. According to Wikipedia, club owner Barry Welansky was convicted of 19 counts of manslaughter. I've reviewed a number of briefs related to the case, but none of them list names of the victims cited in the case. What are the names of the 19 victims?
posted by pxe2000 to Law & Government at 8:37 AM - 6 answers

Children’s Halloween Book ID

I’m looking for a chapter book (for 2nd/3rd graders) that probably came out in the late 80s or early 90s that had black and white illustrations [more inside]
posted by andrewzipp to Media & Arts at 8:15 AM - 2 answers

Alternatives to Love

I'm doing everything I can to "find someone", but started thinking that perhaps there are some other great experiences that would be more attainable that I could work towards. [more inside]
posted by seraph9 to Human Relations at 8:04 AM - 19 answers

School photo sticker shock

My two daughters had their school pictures taken for the first time. They are great photos, and there are even a couple of them hugging and smiling because the school takes extra pictures of siblings together. I want digital copies, but holy crap they are a lot more expensive than I was expecting! [more inside]
posted by insoluble uncertainty to Grab Bag at 7:34 AM - 22 answers

Batch deleting/setting to Only Me on Facebook for thousands of old posts

Hi folks. I am looking for a script to batch delete, or, alternatively, set to Only Me, all of my facebook posts. Removing comments and likes would also be great. I am also of course looking into friend audiences/making a public page/etc and into hand deleting/setting to Only Me, but I would really love a batch solution. Social Book Post Manager in Chrome on my Mac seems to be missing a lot of posts even at the slowest setting. What's worked for you? [more inside]
posted by Mistress to Computers & Internet at 7:23 AM - 6 answers

My Halloween costume involves food. How can I make this work?

My halloween costume involves food. Is there some kind of sealant or shellac I can treat the food with, such that it won't go bad or fall apart? [more inside]
posted by panama joe to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 7:05 AM - 20 answers

Decent hotel near the WFCU Centre in Windsor, Ontario?

I have tickets to the Arcade Fire show in Windsor on November 1 and want to stay in Windsor rather than trying to battle the tunnel traffic back to Detroit after the concert. Any recommendations for one within walking distance? [more inside]
posted by checkitnice to Travel & Transportation at 6:35 AM - 1 answer

Warm cookies for a crowd! Complication factor: no oven

How do I serve warm chocolate chip cookies to 150 runners? [more inside]
posted by grateful to Food & Drink at 5:40 AM - 17 answers

Do gravitational-wave observatories measure distance

Do gravitational-wave observatories give us a new way to measure distance? [more inside]
posted by rdr to Science & Nature at 5:33 AM - 9 answers

Was Morrissey ever optimistic?

I'm thinking about my next tattoo and I want to include a lyric written by Morrissey somewhere in it. But something...upbeat. [more inside]
posted by pyjammy to Media & Arts at 4:59 AM - 18 answers

One Weird Trick to Save Money

I've made a fair few lifestyle changes to save money, but I've still got a ways to go before I pay off my debt. What's the one lifestyle change that saved you the most money? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 to Work & Money at 4:42 AM - 42 answers

Pruning grapevine in summer?

I have a grapevine (for table grape) that is just starting its second summer. It has two main trunks and I don't want it to have any more, but it's put out a third one from just above the graft and it's going kind of crazy with leafing up and putting out side canes from this. Is it better to cut it off now or just let it do its thing and cut it back next winter when the vine is dormant? [more inside]
posted by lollusc to Home & Garden at 3:44 AM - 2 answers

What to get a 25yo Chinese-American girlfriend

My Chinese girlfriend is turning 25. Lives in Shanghai but very Westernised having studied there. Conservative parents but not conversative herself. She likes coaching and soft skills - personal empowerment and conflict resolution. Blogs. She lives quite modestly. Likes cute gadgets. Creative and colorful. Has a bright sunny but gentle personality. Loves western sitcoms and drama. Paints but not very well. Wears Kate Spade. Any ideas? Help. I'm stuck.
posted by vizsla to Human Relations at 1:20 AM - 12 answers

Imposter syndrome turned up to 11

I messed up at work and I can't stop ruminating about it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Work & Money at 1:16 AM - 12 answers

Advice on retraining as a clinical psychologist in the UK

I'm looking for help and advice on changing career to become a clinical psychologist in the UK. Much more inside... [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Education at 1:15 AM - 3 answers

October 16

What happened if you had a transverse/sideways baby?

If you had a baby that never turned head down by 36 weeks, what were the options or instructions given to you? I'm mostly curious if your doctor recommended admission to the hospital in the last 2 or 3 weeks of your pregnancy due to the risk of premature labor and cord prolapse? [more inside]
posted by KatNips to Health & Fitness at 8:31 PM - 11 answers

What is this melody?

I've had this melody bouncing around in my head for the last few days. I believe it is a theme song from an old children's show. [more inside]
posted by cacophony to Media & Arts at 8:27 PM - 3 answers

Patterned shirts

I want to wear patterned cotton knit long sleeve shirts. I also want tunic tops in knit cotton patterns. Gudrun sjoden is good but expensive. I also want cotton leggings, especially if they come in colors/ patterns. I got a pair from uniqlo but their pattern is mostly striped. I'm in the US. Ideas?
posted by azalea_chant to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 8:21 PM - 1 answer

How urgently do I need a plumber?

How urgently do I need to replace my 8-9 year-old electric hot water heater, and do I need to worry about some water underneath it? The water came from me knocking the release valve, not a preexisting leak. [more inside]
posted by Special Agent Dale Cooper to Home & Garden at 7:54 PM - 9 answers

Can a house appraiser (US) use local asking prices as comps?

I am in a legal dispute over the value of a house in PA. I want the value to be lower, the other party want it higher. We are therefore using appraisers. The report from the other party's appraiser came in, and it's a little higher than expected. On closer inspection, in calculating value from comparable sales in the neighborhood, it appears that the other appraiser has included some asking prices (i.e. pre-final sale) in the report, and these are being represented as actual closing prices. [more inside]
posted by life moves pretty fast to Work & Money at 7:04 PM - 4 answers

Becoming a drug counselor in San Francisco

I am interested in getting certified as a substance abuse counselor in the San Francisco Bay Area. I'm looking for feedback on different certification programs in the area, as well as general feedback from anyone who works in the field of substance abuse counseling. [more inside]
posted by désoeuvrée to Work & Money at 6:55 PM - 4 answers

Gift cards as "gratuities"

YANML. I know that dollar-value-equivalent gift cards given to employees as a bonus, gift, or award are considered taxable income under US law. Mostly, I've seen this in the context of "Widget Inc. is giving each of its employees a $100 gift card to Acme Stores, as a holiday bonus." But what about when Widget, Inc. gives its employees gift cards to Widget, Inc.? What about when Widget charges the cards to a customer's credit card in place of an agreed-upon "gratuity"? [more inside]
posted by armeowda to Law & Government at 6:33 PM - 8 answers

Should I have eaten it? Deceptive herring edition

So I bought some herring in a jar. It was in the refrigerated case but I...sort of forgot about that when I got home, because seriously, it should be shelf-stable, right? [more inside]
posted by Frowner to Food & Drink at 5:35 PM - 11 answers

Please help me identify this adorable vintage mouse doll

My boyfriend is in the process of selling the majority of his vintage toy collection, and I thought this particular toy, a vintage mouse with suspenders and the cutest teeth, should stay with us. My boyfriend refers to him as "goofy nerd mouse guy", but I'm itching to find out his true identity. [more inside]
posted by sucre to Grab Bag at 5:18 PM - 7 answers

Movies about dangerous romantic relationships

What are some films that are primarily about codependent/abusive romantic relationships? I'm looking specifically for movies where the protagonist "escapes" the relationship in the end. [more inside]
posted by egeanin to Media & Arts at 3:24 PM - 34 answers

Computer repair scam: what to do after a coworker fell for it

Coworker fell for the phone call saying that their computer had been compromised. They have a mac, they gave remote access, they paid money by credit card to the scammers. Computer is used for work as well as personal use. They do not do any banking on it. They do use the work Dropbox. What do we need to do?
posted by sciencegeek to Computers & Internet at 3:19 PM - 7 answers

Anyone for vinyl?

I have to redo a bathroom floor and thinking roll vinyl is the way to go? [more inside]
posted by silsurf to Home & Garden at 3:10 PM - 10 answers

'We may not have much, but we have each other'

In search of books about simple living and appreciating the little things. [more inside]
posted by castlebravo to Society & Culture at 2:59 PM - 23 answers


I'm generally a very gassy individual, but have always ruled my the activation of flatulation with an iron fist. Of late, my grip on power has weakened, leading to some unfortunate situations. What is the most acceptable way to handle this? [more inside]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts to Society & Culture at 2:37 PM - 21 answers

Buying a dimmer

I'm getting a new light fixture for my kitchen ceiling and I want to get a dimmer. Do I need one or two? [more inside]
posted by FencingGal to Home & Garden at 12:28 PM - 4 answers

How do I winter?

I need jacket recommendations for an upcoming trip, plus general tips for staying warm. [more inside]
posted by jschu to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 11:58 AM - 23 answers

Cheer up, bucko.

I wish to be cheerful, mortals. [more inside]
posted by Evilspork to Human Relations at 11:50 AM - 24 answers

Confessions Of A Flappy Bird: How to stop flapping my hands when I talk?

Whenever I do public speaking as a hobby, I get great feedback except for one thing -- I flap my hands too much! If you're a Former Flapper, how did you train yourself out of the habit? [more inside]
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 11:39 AM - 11 answers

How to connect to a server on an iOS device.

At work, I have a network server that I can connect to from my Mac by going to Finder>Go>Connect to Server> and then clicking on the name of the server (i.e. smb://name02). Is there a way I can do this same thing on an iPad and/or iPhone? [more inside]
posted by 4ster to Computers & Internet at 11:38 AM - 2 answers

ISO Anecdotal Accounts of ADHD medication in younger children.

Our kid (male, 6) has been diagnosed with ADHD. We’re being advised by our (trusted, super awesome, not overprescribing, very reasonable) medical professionals to explore medicating him. We’re looking for anecdotal accounts of how a younger child in your life reacted to medication for ADHD. [more inside]
posted by furnace.heart to Health & Fitness at 10:42 AM - 13 answers

How much will it cost to reüpholster these chairs?

I just bought this chair and another just like it. I love them...except for the floral upholstery on the cushions. The green upholstery I am into. How much, more or less, will it cost me to reupholster just those floral parts? The bottom cushion comes off; the back one is attached. I'll also go ahead and get new foam for both because it's a little too soft, what's on there. I think the fabrics I was looking at ran about $25/yard.
posted by Smearcase to Home & Garden at 10:39 AM - 8 answers

Black & White Halloween Costume Ideas

Mr. Millipede (m, 40) and I (f, 36) have been invited to a "black and white" themed Halloween party. Help us come up with costumes. Stringent stipulations inside. [more inside]
posted by millipede to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 10:26 AM - 43 answers

Buying a new phone and switching to Virgin plan

I have a question about purchasing a new iphone and then transitioning to a new Virgin mobile plan. [more inside]
posted by andoatnp to Technology at 10:07 AM - 4 answers

My deck needs help.

My deck needs help. The basic structure is OK, but it looks terrible because it was painted/stained different colors and decorated with lots of unnecessary trim that's now rotting. I've patched it up in a bunch of crazy ways and am ready to throw in the towel. Maybe some of it can be saved, but I suspect everything visible (railings, decking, and skirting) needs to be replaced. More than I can do myself. Help? [more inside]
posted by ndg to Home & Garden at 9:45 AM - 5 answers

What's the best barebones laptop for writing?

What is the cheapest, thinnest, lightest laptop with the best keyboard and the longest battery life? Open to new or used options. Processor speed and other specs don't matter much. Apple is a no-go. I currently have a Lenovo X201, which I like for the build quality and upgrade-ability, but it feels heavy in my bag.
posted by matkline to Computers & Internet at 9:43 AM - 14 answers

The phantom menace

I bought a standalone preamp to supply phantom power to a condenser microphone. But the microphone isn't working – I just get a weird loud buzz. Any idea what's going on? [more inside]
posted by Beardman to Technology at 9:39 AM - 16 answers

How did the Don know?

A question about The Godfather. [more inside]
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell to Media & Arts at 9:32 AM - 3 answers

Literally so important

Where can I buy Hampton Creek “just.” eat-it-raw cookie dough in San Francisco? [more inside]
posted by stoneandstar to Food & Drink at 9:01 AM - 2 answers

Ended it, now Flooded with Confusion

Three weeks ago I ended a relationship of three years. On one level, I know it had to happen. On another, I’m completely thrown, and hoping for some perspective. Thanks in advance for reading—there’s a lot here, and it means a lot that y’all are listening. [more inside]
posted by bluecastle to Human Relations at 8:30 AM - 43 answers

Chandelier Options for Low Dining Room Ceilings

Our house has relatively low ceilings (7.5 feet). I'd like a dramatic light fixture in the dining room, but a lot of chandeliers need too much vertical space. Link me your best flush mount or "flat" chandeliers. [more inside]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero to Home & Garden at 7:58 AM - 9 answers

theft/damage/accident protection for prescription glasses?

You'd think the Google would be forthcoming with something on this, but it's really not, and neither my insurance company nor my optical provider strangely have any advice on this. My new prescription is way pricey because of my aging eyes; and I'm not talking about insurance coverage that pays for your frames/lenses - I mean, in case something happens to them. Suggestions? I see a place like Lenscrafters has a sort-of-warranty thing for theirs, but it's not very comprehensive, and I'm already wearing them. [more inside]
posted by bitterkitten to Work & Money at 7:36 AM - 10 answers

How to reproduce a fragrance

My favorite fragrances keep getting discontinued. [more inside]
posted by triggerfinger to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 7:28 AM - 3 answers

How to offer a domain to a specific company?

A few years ago I bought a generic domain because it seemed like a great deal and like it might be useful for my own projects. Now I've decided I'm probably not going to use it, and I want to offer it to a specific company that I think might be interested before putting it up for a general auction on a site like Sedo. What is the professional way to handle this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Technology at 4:48 AM - 4 answers

Getting Over Fear: the Art Edition

How do you create when you don't like being watched while you do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations at 4:48 AM - 12 answers

Freeloading Husband

That would be me, apparently. Is my wife correct? [more inside]
posted by teselecta to Home & Garden at 4:29 AM - 76 answers

Places to go in London for a freelance app developer

Recently moved to the UK and wondering what places I should go to for meeting creative and nice developers. [more inside]
posted by johngoren to Computers & Internet at 3:55 AM - 3 answers

I love sudoko and KenKen! What other puzzles might I like?

I can sit for hours and focus on sudoku, killer sudoku, and KenKen. The rules are clear and self-contained, and they don't require external knowledge or vocabulary to complete (unlike crosswords, for example, where I might get stuck if I don't know someone's last name). What other puzzles are like this?
posted by cadge to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 2:42 AM - 17 answers

Body wash that doesn't smell like food or flowers?

Just what it says on the tin. I am tired of coconut vanilla sweetpea hydrangea mint or whatever and I like clean, fresh scents that are more reminiscent of fresh laundry than anything I'd eat or decorate with. [more inside]
posted by xyzzy to Shopping at 2:15 AM - 30 answers

October 15

Same song, different feeling

Looking for suggestions of songs with alternative arrangements or cover versions that interpret the same lyrics with different emotional notes: breezy, slightly off-putting, sad/deary/Sinister. [more inside]
posted by divabat to Media & Arts at 10:53 PM - 55 answers

High Calcium, but low Parathyroid. What now?

You are not my doctor, but perhaps you've been found to have high calcium levels in your blood and can offer some insights into my situation. My calcium serum levels are high, but my parathyroid hormone level is NOT - it's very low. [more inside]
posted by armoir from antproof case to Health & Fitness at 7:17 PM - 4 answers


My new landlord has told me he hates paper checks. I would love to pay my rent automatically and electronically each month. I have his routing and account number but cannot figure out how to pay him rent without one of us having to set up new accounts or pay fees. Any ACH/EFT experts in the house? [more inside]
posted by JannaK to Work & Money at 7:07 PM - 19 answers