February 25

What does a healthy straight parents/queer child relationship look like?

Last week, I finally cut off my mother for trying to drive a wedge between me and my spouse again, repeatedly implying I was only angry because I must be mentally ill, and rewriting the last ten years of our relationship to make the problems between us purely the fault of my spouse's influence rather than the result years of increasing tension, mostly about my queerness. I want to know, as a sanity check, what good parent-child relationships look like even in the face of complications. Am I expecting too much? What is normal, and what is healthy? [more inside]
posted by sciatrix to Human Relations at 12:41 PM - 4 answers

Are there official poster graphics for advertising March for Science?

I want to put up posters around my institution to raise awareness of the upcoming March for Science. No posters seem to be available from the official shop page. I've mailed the organizers but haven't received a reply. I'm willing to print my own posters, and now am looking for suitable graphics. [more inside]
posted by StrawberryPie to Society & Culture at 12:27 PM - 1 answer

What are these ants doing?

Please explain this ant (and other small insect) behavior I'm witnessing. [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa to Science & Nature at 11:45 AM - 5 answers

Early violin (REBEC)

Help me understand some of the clues in a 75-year-old crossword puzzle. [more inside]
posted by theodolite to Grab Bag at 11:38 AM - 7 answers

I need advice to give my niece the best New York Experience possible.

Where would be a good area of New York for an 18 year old from Australia to stay to maximize safety for a lone traveler wanting to see all the tourist type sites. [more inside]
posted by wwax to Travel & Transportation at 11:05 AM - 5 answers

Will you buy me a house?

No, seriously, is there someone who will buy the house I'm living in and let me live there for a year? [more inside]
posted by turtlefu to Home & Garden at 9:53 AM - 6 answers

Should I get the Apple Store to check my Macbook for liquid damage?

I'm not certain if water got into my Macbook Pro. It's working fine so far, but should I bring it to the Apple Store to find out for sure? [more inside]
posted by Beardman to Computers & Internet at 9:39 AM - 2 answers

What makes a good pipe?

I have a good friend who is a master wood worker and made me a pipe as a gift. It sucks, and he admits it. Beautifully crafted, just doesn't work as a pipe. Very harsh. There must be some sort of science to this, but I'm at a loss. This has to be a solved problem, what do I google for this? [more inside]
posted by geoff. to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 8:59 AM - 8 answers

Cheap, boring, unhip housing needed in Boston or Metro West

Looking for an affordable place to live in the Boston or Metro West area for a childless couple on a single income who don't mind living someplace dull or unhip. Our main constraint is a commute to Natick. [more inside]
posted by nebulawindphone to Home & Garden at 8:57 AM - 6 answers

What does teen spirit smell like these days?

I'm looking for blogs, pin boards, Instagram feeds, web sites, collaborative projects, video, online artwork, web comics, and graphic novels and other online stuff that is very popular with teenagers. [more inside]
posted by alms to Society & Culture at 6:28 AM - 6 answers

Raising a child who has lost a parent

Looking to hear from people who lost a parent at a very young age. What helped you live a normal, happy life? What didn't? [more inside]
posted by ficbot to Human Relations at 6:04 AM - 8 answers

Very simple budgeting apps and ideas

My adult brother has learning disabilities and a spending problem. He has now his first real job at thirty+ and I think this is a good time to make a new attempt at budgeting. he thinks that knowing how much things have cost is the same as having a budget, and now I just found out that he has spent about 400 euro on Overwatch skins (in game micropurchases). [more inside]
posted by Iteki to Work & Money at 4:53 AM - 8 answers

I'm afraid of my new landlord

Odd situation came up in which I thought I asked something reasonable, and now the landlord wants me to consider to dissolve the lease. I want to stay, but also how do I protect myself in the future and how do I best deal with this? [more inside]
posted by buttonedup to Home & Garden at 4:15 AM - 43 answers

February 24

Can I ask this stranger to be my friend?

I met a really cool-seeming guy at the pet store today. I'm married, not interested in anything romantic AT ALL, but I don't have a lot of friends in this town and I'd like to make more. Can I contact him? Also: I don't even have his contact info -- I just found him online. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations at 11:10 PM - 25 answers

Um actually.. I've been unemployed the past 2 months

Applied for a job at a large slow-moving company while I was employed, became unemployed before interviews, was referred to another job within the company and didn't mention I was unemployed during application/interview process. Now it's been 2 months since I've been unemployed, but nobody at this company knows and I'm likely to get a job and have a background check. I do, however, have a chance to fill out a correct application, but it will be inconsistent with my previous application/what I said in the interview for the 2nd job I applied to. Is this a huge deal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Work & Money at 11:09 PM - 5 answers

"Could I have the direct number for HR, please?"

My boss asked our receptionist to contact me via my personal email / cellphone. The problem? The receptionist happens to be my wife. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations at 11:09 PM - 15 answers

Help me describe my ailments!

YNMD, I know-- just want some help with how I describe things to a doctor. I've been feeling a number of small discomforts continuously for the last two months. In combination, they are debilitating at times. Doctor said there is nothing wrong, and I wonder if I need to refine my descriptions. [more inside]
posted by atetrachordofthree to Health & Fitness at 8:32 PM - 12 answers

What a Pain in the... Ear

I've been experiencing hearing loss in my right ear since December 20, 2016. It has been 2 months and some change since my hearing has been normal. Both ear drums are perforated, it feels like it needs to "pop," but that is not an option because of the holes. Has this happened to anyone else? Any suggestions from this community on what to do? Only looking for anecdotal advice or experiences, no medical advice necessary. [more inside]
posted by Jewel98 to Health & Fitness at 8:05 PM - 7 answers

how to best help First Nations kids/families?

I'm looking for the most bang-for-buck way to help people in Canada. I'm looking for ways to channel my feelings of fear and rage into positive action. [more inside]
posted by lizifer to Grab Bag at 6:50 PM - 6 answers

Is there a way of categorizing a set of words by emotion or tone?

I'm trying to brainstorm something by comparing a set of words together. [more inside]
posted by lkc to Computers & Internet at 6:22 PM - 9 answers

Where to mail-order frozen soups and stews in US?

For time management issues I need to buy frozen soups and stews in the US. Got any leads for me? [more inside]
posted by cda to Food & Drink at 6:04 PM - 10 answers

Er, What Rights *Do* I have at the Border?

US citizen flying into the US. Do I have to give the Border Patrol access to all my computer files, social media, etc.? Can they ask for my social media passwords if I don't bring a computer? What rights, if any, do I have at the border? I have nothing to hide, I just don't like gummint poking its nose in my bidness.
posted by Native in Exile to Law & Government at 5:05 PM - 23 answers

"The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle": English vs. Russian translation?

I recently started reading "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle" by Haruki Murakami in English and I'm quite enjoying it. However, I learned that the English version — although well-translated — omits several whole chapters from the original! I also happen to speak Russian, and I discovered that there's a Russian version by Sergei and Ivan Logachev which is apparently translated from the original Japanese. (The page count seems to confirm this: 600 for English vs. 770 for Russian.) However, I could find no information about the quality of this translation. Would anyone happen to know whether the Russian version is a high quality translation, and if so, if it's worth reading over the English version on account of the additional content?
posted by archagon to Media & Arts at 4:35 PM - 7 answers

Are top-name artists giving their new albums away on archive.org?

Noticed today that Kate Bush's recent live triple CD Before the Dawn is available for download from archive.org, plus there's the 2016 LP from Leonard Cohen, You Want It Darker. Are these legal downloads? Did I miss an announcement from the archive.org people?
posted by porn in the woods to Media & Arts at 4:26 PM - 4 answers

What is the scientific principle that governs how big animals get?

After seeing the trailer for the latest King Kong movie, it got me thinking about why animals only get as big as they do. Is it because they evolve in an ecosystem and natural selection doesn't want you getting bigger than the food supply can managably feed? Is there a scientific principle that governs this that people have named? Is it a DNA thing? I guess I'm wondering what prevents gorillas from growing 100 feet tall. Could there ever be a mutation that allows this to happen? Thanks!
posted by Sully to Science & Nature at 3:03 PM - 11 answers

Recommended bathroom literature (literally)?

Who are good (scholarly) reads on bathrooms? I've found a few books, but most seem oriented as pop-history of the weird. Interested in the Institution that is the Modern Public Bathroom. I want to better understand the "why?" of this space. What laws, economics, religions, aesthetics, etc. created this thing? Keen on literature that discusses non-US countries, too, either as a focus or comparatively.
posted by cichlid ceilidh to Society & Culture at 2:55 PM - 15 answers

Car Wash Undercarriage Wash Question

When you take your car through a typical gas station car wash, and select the undercarriage wash option, does the undercarriage spray last for a set time, or does it go on for as long as your car is over the spray jets? Whenever I get this done, I'm never sure if I should drive over the spray more slowly or more quickly, in order to get the most thorough wash.
posted by Enemy of Joy to Travel & Transportation at 2:38 PM - 3 answers

Forwarding IMAP email to a Gmail account

I have an email account that is accessible only via IMAP. It does not support automated forwarding. I would like to scrape all of the emails from this account and forward them to my Gmail account. [more inside]
posted by mr_roboto to Computers & Internet at 2:25 PM - 4 answers

Minor car accident, damage to both cars, no injuries. What to NOT do?

He stopped on a very sharp turn under an overpass and I couldn't stop in time. Minor damage to both cars, no injuries. We took pics of each other's drivers' licenses, license plates, and insurance cards, and the damage to each others' car, then drove away. No police or bystanders involved--it's an intersection that has lots of fender benders so people don't pay attention. Do I just call my insurer? Is there something I *should not* do or say? I'm insured but am I likely to be totally screwed if I don't have the right kind of coverage? I find this stuff pretty confusing. I don't live in a no-fault insurance state. Is this good or bad?
posted by anonymous to Work & Money at 2:24 PM - 6 answers

Neurosurgeons required to have proficiency in outside interest?

In When Breath Becomes Air, the author mentions that the field of neurosurgery is unique in that it requires students to become proficient at something other than neurosurgery. He said people often choose writing or research since they complement the field. But is this really a thing? Are students actually required to do this to become a neurosurgeon? I am having a hard time Googling this.
posted by LKWorking to Grab Bag at 1:56 PM - 7 answers

Activities for the hip and homebound

Woman in her 30s can't leave the house (for the very long term) and is bored and isolated. Also has no wifi. What can I send? [more inside]
posted by OrangeVelour to Human Relations at 1:15 PM - 34 answers

Like a DS, but Bigger

I'm looking for suggestions for (good) games for the Wii U that can be played 100% on the gamepad, without turning on the TV. [more inside]
posted by anastasiav to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 11:21 AM - 5 answers

Creating simple beats in GarageBand

I am a GarageBand newbie/occasional user looking to create super-simple, sort of lo-fi beats I can then track some acoustic guitar and vocals over. Right now my only option seems to be to select one of the built-in loops, which are all super produced-sounding and complex, and then dragging that beat along the timeline until I get it out to where i want it. What I would like to do is something like I believe you can do in Ableton, where you have 16 little squares and you can assign each a different sound -- kick, snare, etc. -- and once I have that sequence dialed in, drag it into a new track and just select the amount of time I want it to loop for. Is anything like that possible in Garageband, or is the only option to drag the prerecorded loops along the timeline? I am not looking to play my own drum track on the keyboard.
posted by Clustercuss to Computers & Internet at 10:51 AM - 6 answers

Questions about how iMessage Works Overseas

I have several questions about how iMessage works overseas when you're using a foreign SIM card in your cell phone. Specifics below the fold... [more inside]
posted by bluecore to Computers & Internet at 10:21 AM - 6 answers

What charities are directly helping migrant farmworkers?

I want to send money to a place where it can be of direct impact for migrant farmworkers. Is there a great non-profit that is in the fields helping? I don't need it to be union organizing or Congressional lobbying; in fact I'd prefer that it not be. I am thinking day-to-day survival stuff like provision of medical care, food, education for children, housing, direct immigration help, etc. [more inside]
posted by AgentRocket to Human Relations at 9:37 AM - 6 answers

After breakup and an abortion, how much time should we spend together?

I was seeing a woman for six months last year, and then broke up with her in December. (Things were getting too serious too quickly, and I felt we were incompatible in several important ways.) I sent a long email explaining my reasons. I said I thought we shouldn't see each other anymore, for both our sakes. Eight days later, she took a pregnancy test (after a couple of days of feeling fluey) and found out she was pregnant. She let me know the same day. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations at 9:35 AM - 20 answers

Does self-striping yarn follow rules?

Is there a general rule about variegated and/or self-striping yarns I can follow (or not) to stripe the colors evenly? (I'm guessing it's something with the working gauge?) Or is the color variegation mainly designed by manufacturers and not standardized with any particular method? [more inside]
posted by blnkfrnk to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 9:25 AM - 10 answers

How to help a 15 month old child deal with the loss of a pet?

We have one pet: a 12 year old black lab. We have one child: a 15 month old girl. To our great sadness, the dog doesn't have much time left with us. This is going to be hard enough on my wife and me, but our daughter adores the dog like a sibling and I have no idea how to help her understand when he's gone and doesn't come back. Anyone gone through this before? [more inside]
posted by jermsplan to Pets & Animals at 9:25 AM - 13 answers

SF Bay Area Condo Purchase For The Unambitious

I am considering looking for a modest 1-bedroom condominium in one of the less-gilded areas of the Peninsula, starting in Redwood City and extending north up to Daly City and targeting a sale price of $575K or below. Please help me understand the feasibility and logistics of such a purchase. [more inside]
posted by 4rtemis to Work & Money at 9:12 AM - 3 answers

Help Me Find a Phone Game to Play while Feeding my Baby!

I'm looking for a game I can play on my phone while feeding my baby because otherwise it is very, very boring. Please give me your suggestions! [more inside]
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 8:47 AM - 24 answers

Summarize good internet security and privacy practices... GO!

I'm fixing to teach a course on extremely basic digital organizing for self-described very non-tech-savvy people. The one thing I'm a bit shaky on is how to briefly and effectively summarize internet privacy issues and internet security best practices for people who may only have a tenuous hold on what the internet even is. [more inside]
posted by soren_lorensen to Computers & Internet at 8:40 AM - 6 answers

Repairing a kitchen dish soap dispenser pump

My kitchen sink has a Moen soap dispenser. Inside, it uses a plastic pumping mechanism with a spring inside. After a couple months of use, the mechanism gets gunked up and no longer pumps. I've replaced it 4 times at ~$20 a shot. Is there anything I can do to fix it or replace it with something better? [more inside]
posted by krunk to Home & Garden at 8:20 AM - 7 answers

This thing about cities, language and anarchy that is on the tip of my

Ugh, this is on the tip of my brain. I read a blog post reviewing a book that talks about how cities are standardized, or normalized or otherwise legitimized using either policy or language or possibly the land grid system promoted by Jefferson. It may have been an anarchist-anthropologist who was posting about this. I do recall that that the setup for the blog post may have said something like [word x] means literally to "make legitimate" or something like that. It may have had something to do with James C. Scott's Seeing Like a State. I ask because I'm teaching a class on the Introduction to Rhetoric and came across this line: "Important to Pico's philosophy was the conviction that humans employ language to order teh chaotic world of nature." So I guess I'm trying to dig up the original concept of making cities readable through imposing law or language on them. Thanks, smart Mefistianeros.
posted by mecran01 to Law & Government at 8:18 AM - 8 answers

Sanity check: whether to break up after (minor?) infidelity

Following the discovery of a partner's recent one-time unfaithful behavior, a great deal of soul-searching has led to no clear answers on how to react. Is still-present love from both parties enough to warrant relegating this event to the past, or is it wiser to adhere to a strongly held principle that such behavior is unacceptable, recognizing that there were growing doubts about compatibility anyway? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations at 7:33 AM - 35 answers

Mailing a large suitcase for repair

I need to mail a reasonably large (eagle creek 28 inch) suitcase for warranty repair. The warranty doesn't cover shipping to the designated repair location (it turns out), though it supposedly covers everything else. So I would like to do this cheaply -- but I just can't quite figure out what a good way might be. Has anyone shipped a large suitcase for repair and can tell me a good solution? [more inside]
posted by advil to Travel & Transportation at 7:20 AM - 8 answers

What jacket does a cosmopolitan man in black wear?

6' lanky dude seeks black jacket. Dress me, Ask me. [more inside]
posted by PMdixon to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 6:59 AM - 5 answers

Should I speak up to my guy friend, and if so, how...?

My (36F) friend (46ishM) of 20+ years really wants a girlfriend, and he "talks" to me about it (email). I typically mind my own business and I don't give advice, but now I wonder if I should, and if so, how? [more inside]
posted by little_dog_laughing to Human Relations at 6:31 AM - 18 answers

Regression under stress - how do you cope?

When I'm under certain kinds of stress, I regress to a more childlike state. It feels like my brain is melting and all I can do is cry uncontrollably (when I get alone). What are some other ways out? [more inside]
posted by 3491again to Human Relations at 6:22 AM - 6 answers

Questions for Health Physicists

I am an engineer looking to switch into a Health Physics career. I have a few questions for any Health Physicists out there. [more inside]
posted by Evernix to Work & Money at 4:10 AM - 6 answers

I, Emote.

Is it scientifically possible to create artificial sentience? [more inside]
posted by Crookshanks_Meow to Technology at 1:01 AM - 8 answers

February 23

What kind of herbs, though?

My potential new therapist says she works with an herbalist. What is an herbalist, and is this a red flag? [more inside]
posted by colorblock sock to Health & Fitness at 10:47 PM - 25 answers

Improve my cat's litter box experience (and my own...)

I've read such glowing reviews that I'm considering getting a Litter Robot, but I thought I'd ask the experts here whether they think my particular problem with my cat's litter box methodology will be solved by it before shelling out nearly AUD$900. [more inside]
posted by eloeth-starr to Pets & Animals at 10:40 PM - 24 answers

Is it really that weird that I don't own a microwave?

I had a new friend over to my apartment tonight for the first time, and he noticed I didn't have a microwave and commented on it. He seemed really surprised. Other people have commented on it over the years, as well. Is this really that strange? [more inside]
posted by Automocar to Society & Culture at 9:35 PM - 78 answers

Please help me fulfil my destiny (or products sold on the internet).

Our small side-product/project went viral, and our previous international warehousing / mailhouse / fulfilment house isn't cutting it and nobody else is returning our calls or emails. Can anyone recommend any specific businesses that might be able to help - Preferably in Europe or Asia. [more inside]
posted by LongDrive to Shopping at 8:34 PM - 3 answers

Reliable service from Singapore to Legoland in Malaysia?

Family of four staying at a hotel in Singapore is hoping to visit Legoland in Malaysia around March 21 or 22. We would like a reliable method of getting there, and to be able to spend as much time as possible there. We need to return to Singapore the same evening, and are hoping for a hassle free method. What’s the smoothest way to do this? We don’t have a smartphone, if that matters.
posted by Prof Iterole to Travel & Transportation at 7:49 PM - 3 answers

How to get Glossy spray paint mist off carpet?

Sprayed a metal handrail on my steps with glossy spray paint. Looks good, but a fine mist of black paint is covering my light tan carpet. Can anybody recommend a cleaner? I have a steam cleaner. The area is about 10 x 10 plus steps. Ugh
posted by Coffee Bean to Home & Garden at 7:46 PM - 9 answers

College Student in my class with MAGA hat

College professor here, at a majority-minority state school. Recently one of my students came to class with a Make America Great Again red baseball cap. It was during an exam so I only saw it and him briefly and had no practical way to react or comment (even if I had wanted to). [more inside]
posted by soylent00FF00 to Education at 7:30 PM - 46 answers

Bean Sprouts recipes

Every time I buy beansprouts (usually either for pad thai or summer rolls) I have a massive amount left over, because the asian market only sells them in bigass bags as big as my head. Please give me your favorite recipes that require a WHOLE LOT of mung bean sprouts.
posted by Greg Nog to Food & Drink at 6:13 PM - 14 answers

Charity auctions near Boston

I have been volunteered to be the auctioneer at a charity event. The auction part of the event is low-key enough that I think it will be ok that I am not a professional. But I also think it might be a good idea to scope out some other charity fundraisers and auctions to get some tips. [more inside]
posted by yet.another.boston.question to Grab Bag at 5:53 PM - 0 answers

Heading to Birmingham, AL for a concert, looking for places to dine out

Where to eat in the Avondale neighborhood in Birmingham, AL on a Sunday afternoon in March before a show? [more inside]
posted by ralan to Food & Drink at 5:51 PM - 5 answers