Help me make my apartment smell like a sexy man's home should smell!

August 21, 2008 10:02 PM

Help me make my apartment smell like a sexy man's home should smell! I'm especially looking for thoughts from women... What works? What doesn't?

I love the way certain people and places smell, and I'd like to find a way to make my home one of those places. I live in a 560 square foot open loft/studio type apartment. I don't smoke, have pets or any odors I'm trying to cover up. My doesn't smell bad. In fact, it doesn't smell at all. I'd like to change that.

Advice?

posted by 2oh1 to home & garden (60 comments total)

Speaking for myself, I like the smell of pine trees and welding, but only if they actually reflect the guy's personality.

I think clean and unscented is a pretty good thing to aim for in general, though. No room sprays!
posted by small_ruminant at 10:08 PM on August 21, 2008

Clean is a must. I also particularly like it if a man's apartment smells a little bit like their cologne - but be sure that it's nice cologne first!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 10:18 PM on August 21, 2008

Plants, maybe herbs growing in pots.
posted by mai at 10:18 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

It should smell clean. Possibly, if a fragrance is really in order, like citrus or lavender or a nice fragrant wood like cedar. But sparingly. Like, a couple of drops of essential oil in your laundry so your sheets and towels have a faint whiff of scent. Not like Yankee Candle Hell. Not like teenage boys who've gotten a hold of their first bottle of Obsession For Men.

You might look for cleaning products by Mrs. Meyer, which have wonderful scents that fade just like cleaning-product scents should, and leave a great fresh "just-cleaned" kind of aroma about the place. Nine times out of ten when I clean it's with a homemade unscented spray, but sometimes when I'm having people over, I'll run around with a bottle of Mrs. Meyers and wipe down the place, and it gives it a little something extra.
posted by padraigin at 10:22 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Candles are good for creating an aromatic ambience. If you're going for "guy smell" stay away from flowery scents. Vanilla and cinnamon would be good choices. Whatever scents you choose, just don't go overboard. Scent should be a background thing. Anything too overpowering screams "lounge lizard."
posted by amyms at 10:22 PM on August 21, 2008

The fact that it's clean and has no "natural odors" is a great start. I would stay away from any artificial scents -- room sprays, perfume, candles, etc. If you feel you must have a smell, there is, I believe, one right answer: bake your own bread. Make a bunch of dough, freeze it, and pop some in the over right before she comes over. For extra points, separate the dough into bagel-sized lumps and stuff half of them with cheese and half with chocolate.
posted by prefpara at 10:23 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I love it when guys/guys places smell like dirt. As in that sort of musky potting soil smell. With regard to dudes, I also love the smell of old leather and sawdust. Maybe because they are all smells that indicate the guy might be capable at many, er, things.
posted by Acer_saccharum at 10:26 PM on August 21, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Burn some Nag Champa incense. Open windows, let it mingle with the fresh night air. Close windows. Light a beeswax candle and you will arrive at the correct altitude.
posted by mamaraks at 10:31 PM on August 21, 2008

incense...

but open the windows, it'll stick to your furniture and clothing for a while...

but smells nice if you get stuff that you like...

and I also agree with herbs in a pot...

ESPECIALLY when you cook with them! I love the smell of fresh food
posted by guptaxpn at 10:38 PM on August 21, 2008

Laundry. Wash your sheets, blankets, throw pillow covers, afghans, towels, and any other fabrics you have lying around, often. Use a good detergent, like Tide, and use fabric softener sheets.

Also, keep your windows open for as much of the year as possible. It makes the apartment smell like the outdoors.

(I hate the smell of incense, cologne, and all air fresheners. I also have allergies, as do lots of other people, so I'd have to leave your apartment if you'd been spraying it with chemicals or burning scented candles or incense.)
posted by decathecting at 10:38 PM on August 21, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

Get some cedar blocks for your closets. Cedar smells so natural and healthy. We have Incense Cedar trees here in Washington, and the scent is just heavenly.
posted by Acacia at 10:48 PM on August 21, 2008

There are scents that are made from real things (some oils and expen$ive perfumes) and there are scents made from chemicals synthesized in a lab to mimic something. As a general rule you should avoid the latter. This includes most all cheap scented stuff like candles, incense, fabric softener, scented detergent etc.

Things that smell nice are old fashioned cleaners like Murphys Oil Soap, oiled wood floors & furniture, leather furniture, unscented but clean laundry, food (of course!), plants (put in ceramic pots near window for maximum effect) and good old fashioned fresh air. I love it when people leave their houses open to the outdoors the most of all. And books, books smell fabulous.
posted by fshgrl at 10:51 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

Open your windows and oil your wood furniture. Masculine, natural, and easy.
posted by MadamM at 10:55 PM on August 21, 2008

I like spicy smells. Cinnamon or something similar, via incense or oils.
posted by lacedback at 11:02 PM on August 21, 2008

I like sandalwood oil in a burner.
Bake some banana bread, instant chick magnet.
posted by idiotfactory at 11:15 PM on August 21, 2008

Jeez... a man's appartment that smells of incense, pine, wood, musk etc...

Isn't that a bit too Love Guru?

What's wrong with just plain clean smelling? IE, no smell at all. If you must adopt a scent, use something subtle like pot pourri.
posted by Mephisto at 11:18 PM on August 21, 2008

Mephisto, no man (living alone) should have pot pourri in his house. Ever.

Clean, natural and the smell of good cooking are the best options by far.
posted by puffl at 11:42 PM on August 21, 2008

My mom once owned a bottle of Ralph Lauren room spray that I adored. It was so expensive, I ended up rolling my own: just a combination of orange and clove essential oils. That little bit of clove gave it a spicy, 'manly' undertone that really worked... smelled like sexy christmas.

You can make homemade Febreze out of (1 part) fabric softener and (3 parts) water in a spray bottle; find a fabric softener you like (or an unscented one that you add fragrance to) and spray fabric that won't mark. The scent lingers in a nice, not too overpowering but still *there* sort of way.
posted by Gianna at 11:57 PM on August 21, 2008

Manly Man Candles. Good stuff. Lots of different scents -- Alpine Forest, Leather, Cedar, etc.
posted by davidmsc at 11:58 PM on August 21, 2008

I roast coffee in my apartment, and everyone who visits seems to like the smell. Bonus: If you like coffee, you'll *really* like coffee after you start roasting your own!
posted by xenyz at 12:15 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

(Just a quick note in case youre not sure- please do not follow ALL of the above. You'd kill a buffalo with that combination).

I'm 8thing fresh air for the record though. Just clean, fresh air.
posted by daveyt at 2:05 AM on August 22, 2008

Make coffee with one of these - you get this amazing nutty-coffee smell. Regular coffee smells good too of course.
posted by tiny crocodile at 3:52 AM on August 22, 2008

I'm going to have to say that incense is an INCREDIBLY individual thing and I know lots of people (myself included) that really hate it. I actually find it offensive. A nice clean fresh smell is best.

ALso, this comment hits it on the head.
posted by gwenlister at 4:27 AM on August 22, 2008

Smells in guy's homes I really like:

1. Clean. It should smell clean. Not like bleach or heavy duty detergent, just clean.
2. It should also smell a bit like your cologne - provided it's one I like. Fortunately for you, I've taken a survey among my girlfriends, and I can tell you the #1 rated cologne is Acqua di Gio (for men, naturally). We all go "oh, you smell SO good" for that one.
posted by neblina_matinal at 4:30 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

IANAW, but W have said nice things about my sandalwood/aloeswood candles.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 4:40 AM on August 22, 2008

Candles are not "manly".
posted by gjc at 5:01 AM on August 22, 2008

Just plain clean is nice. Whatever method you choose, make sure to keep any gym bags, hockey bags, or sports equipment that you might have equally fresh (or, preferably, elsewhere).
posted by OlivesAndTurkishCoffee at 5:19 AM on August 22, 2008

seconding cedar blocks. cedar is a great smell.

also, if you want some essential oils in a potpourri sort of thing (or just putting a few drops on a tea light candle), i'd go with cedar and rosemary which just smells clean and brisk.
posted by rmd1023 at 5:19 AM on August 22, 2008

Nthing the clean smell. Do some laundry (the Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day lavender detergent has a nice, subtle residual smell), open windows and turn a fan on to help circulate air (even briefly-- you don't need to leave it on while your guest is there). Dust regularly. The don't forget to air out the bathroom. I like the smell of "manly" soaps and shower gels, so it's always nice to walk into a bathroom and smell the ghost of that kind of clean.

If you smoke, don't do it inside your home.
posted by Heretic at 5:25 AM on August 22, 2008

*Good* incense smells really nice. *Bad* incense is going to smell awful.

I really really love Nag Champa. It's fairly strong, one stick should give your whole apartment a nice sort of incense-y glow without making it smell like a hippie just died in there.

Places to get good incense: Chinese/Tibetan/Indian "boutiques." I'm sure there are some of these around, I can find at least one almost anywhere. The sort of store that sells little buddha statues and caters towards the bourgeois bohemian crowd. Also, natural foods stores sometimes carry incense.

Places to get bad incense: Any place where it comes in a plastic bag or "10 For $1!" with scents like "Sex on the Beach" and "Fuzzy Navel." I don't know who thought that FRUIT scented incense was a good idea, but it's really, really not.

Also scented candles can be nice, but find something *lightly* scented. A floral scent goes well in the bathroom to make it smell like you poo roses. And a food-y vanilla or cinnamon (I really, really love spice scented candles) is good in the kitchen. You don't want a candle that is going to smell like a vanilla bomb exploded in your apartment. Yankee Candles are a pretty safe bet, but don't get anything you can't identify. Cinnamon = Good. Rainforest Dew Drop (or whatever) = Bad.

Stay away from plug-in airfresheners. Those things are foul.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:38 AM on August 22, 2008

(I'm male, but) different people respond to different smells, and one person's 'sexy' is another's 'sleazy bordello' or 'perfume factory' or 'allergy torture chamber.' Safest, I think, to have an apartment that smells like nothing.
posted by box at 5:45 AM on August 22, 2008

I think coffee or tea (especially a strong chai) is a nice neutral scent, though some people hate the smell of coffee, so mileage will vary.

If you have hard floors, what you mop with can scent the room very lightly. I have tile, and I mop with hot water, a few drops of unscented dish soap, and a couple of drops of whatever scent oil appeals to me at the moment. I'm on a tea run right now, but I also sometimes like citrus (lemon, orange, lime, or earthier lime leaf or lemongrass), almond, or a linen scent. I pick my oils up at natural food stores, or occasionally a Bath and Body Works kind of place. You can also make a room spray of any oil - dilute with denatured alcohol or vodka (I promise, it leaves no booze smell) in a spray bottle, and spritz lightly. A few drops of straight oil in a glass dish left somewhere near an air current is enough, as well.
posted by Lyn Never at 6:38 AM on August 22, 2008

As usual, I agree with box. No really, it's scary how often I agree with box.

Know what's sexy? It's the smell of a man that's confident in himself, and who doesn't EVER think about what a "sexy man's apartment" smells like. You're skirting dangerously close to The Ladies' Man or Fedora Guy here. Stop thinking of ways to add scent to your apartment, and live your life and let the smells of you living your life be part of it. Clean smells great. Everything else is just artifice. You like candles? Good - burn them.....because YOU like them, not to make your apartment sexy. You like a precious little bowl of potpourri that you stir with a spoon? Well put it on your table then, but do it because it's part of who you are, not to impress anyone. Surround yourself with things that are an extension of who you are, and if who you are is wonderful, women will gravitate towards that.

Do not ever again refer to yourself as a sexy man. I'm telling you this for my own good.
posted by iconomy at 6:44 AM on August 22, 2008 [14 favorites has favorites]

I personally go fo the smelling of sizzling bacon in the morning. Now that's sexy!
posted by kidsleepy at 6:45 AM on August 22, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

I think I agree completely with iconomy.

I'm a female, and I hate potpourri, incense, scented candles, all the room sprays I've ever seen, the smell of too much detergent, fabric softener, etc.
posted by Penelope at 7:00 AM on August 22, 2008

I say go with Scentsy - get a cool burner and a manly fragrance like "Thunderstorm" or "Leather."
posted by Sassyfras at 7:24 AM on August 22, 2008

Detergent, as in clean sheets, couch throws, etc. Steaming fabric furniture twice yearly (if safe for that fabric-- check).
Cedar in the closets only.
Bathrooms are the only place one can break the "air additives" rule. 1-2 drops of a citrus oil or a lavender oil in the toilet bowl after you use it. Lid up or down, a gentle barely-there scent will hang in the air-- not enough to consciously notice.
posted by oflinkey at 7:29 AM on August 22, 2008

As a single gal myself, when I'm at a gentleman caller's place I personally like it to smell a little like him, a person's scent is part of what turns me on. I also completely agree with iconomy's comments, if you have anything extra in the place, be it coffee or incense, it should be there because you like it and it's a part of who you are. Ultimately, in my book, a sexy man is one who is confident in himself and who has a life and a home that reflects that.
posted by Palmcorder Yajna at 7:38 AM on August 22, 2008

A man's dwelling should smell as a man does - of diesel fuel, fresh steak, sweat, leather, dust, and smoke. Anything less is just being a metrosexual.
posted by echo target at 7:46 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Freshly cut plywood and circular-saw oil. Women can't resist the smells of home improvement.
posted by nicwolff at 7:56 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Freshly cut plywood and circular-saw oil. Women can't resist the smells of home improvement.

This is actually sort of true for me. Other things that impart their own smells just by being in your house [and what other people said, some people like this stuff, some don't] and what iconomy said about not trying too hard...

- oiled and polished furniture
- old books (my fave)
- leather furniture
- coffee
- plants (I feel that plants just make the air better, no idea if that is true or not)
- rugs, esp ones with natural/animal fibers
- wool blankets
- paint/markers/rubber cement
- window coverings (think bamboo/wood)
- open windows generally (depending on where you live)
- your own scents in the bathroom, whatever those are, but not all over the house
- smoke if you're a smoker. I'd much rather a smoker's house smelled like smoke then smoke cover-up

I'm female and one of the first things my current bf said when he walked into my house was "this place smells GREAT" (it was a combination of some incense I liked and rising bread dough) and I'm always convinced that was an early positive imprint on our time together.
posted by jessamyn at 8:56 AM on August 22, 2008

There was a study awhile ago that measured the increase in blood flow to male and female genitalia when introduced to certain fragrances. Here's what I found from Google.

# women showed the most sexual response to the fragrances of licorice candy, cucumber, baby powder (each 13%); pumpkin pie and lavender (11%)

I can't seem to find a link to the female findings, but for the woman out there here is a summary of the male findings.
posted by robofunk at 9:12 AM on August 22, 2008

OK, this is only for those who would consider incense.... Stop reading now if you wouldn't.

If you do, I highly recommend Japanese incense. It's a bit more expensive, but the scent is a lot more subtle. Plus, the burn "cleaner" IMO as it is solid incense without a wooden core. Morning Star is very reasonable and they produce some more neutral (i.e., not floral) scents. I personally like the green tea scent a lot.

Shoyeido makes a nice line as well. I like their "Daily Incense" line.

Ultimately, I do agree that that ineffable "clean" smell is hard to beat. But, sometimes lighting a match is so much quicker. :-)
posted by robabroad at 9:16 AM on August 22, 2008

Coffee? You must be joking.

Yeah, make your date think about getting to and being at work. That will get her knickers off...


The iconomy post above is the correct answer.
posted by Zambrano at 9:44 AM on August 22, 2008

No no no on the Nag Champa! Sorry, but No!

If you feel you must burn incense, burn about a quarter stick of the Japanese stuff and that's it! No more!

Otherwise I agree with jessamyn, (or MadameM, if you want the quick and easy version.)
posted by small_ruminant at 10:10 AM on August 22, 2008

(And candles are fine in a guy's apartment. I like the beeswax ones with no extra scent.)
posted by small_ruminant at 10:11 AM on August 22, 2008

(Just to clarify, Nag Champa isn't a bad smell, but it's been co-opted by hippies, stoners and college freshmen, none of which groups knows restraint.)
posted by small_ruminant at 10:19 AM on August 22, 2008

Please. No incense. Unless you want to take the chance that your guest will develop a ripping headache and/or become violently ill. I'm not hating on the incense lovers out there, I used to really like it but just can't tolerate it anymore and as you've seen in this thread, it's pretty controversial.

I think the clean, fresh smell is best. Having a clean house is the obvious way to acheive this, but regularly opening the windows to air things out really helps as well, especially when it's crisp and cool outside.

Here are two other things that I'll mention because I see they haven't been mentioned yet:

- I don't know how it is in your apartment, but I don't have a tumble clothes dryer (or any dryer). I hang my clothes out on the line to dry them, but when it gets cold and wet that's not an option so I hang them on the radiators to dry. Not only does this dry my clothes quickly but my house smells gorgeous afterward - like clean laundry but not overpowering.

- I will often buy flower bouquets with eucalyptus in them. Fresh eucalyptus is one of the best smells in the world. If flowers are too girly for you, you can get arrangements that incorporate it with other green, leafy plants (no flowers) or you can buy eucalyptus wreath or even just plain eucalyptus - fresh or dried. Believe me, eucalyptus is fantastic - fresh, clean and natural. If you DO like flowers, buy bouquets that have lilacs in them. Lilac is a nice springy smell which is strong enough to lightly scent a room.
posted by triggerfinger at 11:04 AM on August 22, 2008

It seems that many of you say a "clean, fresh smell" is best - but what exactly is that? I keep my home clean, which is probably why it has no smell at all. Sure, when I do laundry, there's a brief smell of laundry, but since my closet is near my bathroom, the smell doesn't travel.


"Do not ever again refer to yourself as a sexy man. I'm telling you this for my own good."

Oh, I know. I was just saying it here to be funny - and also imply that dating is part of my goal. My last apartment had a smell to it - though I have no idea why. I once had a date tell me it smelled like Christmas to her. I thought it kind of smelled like wood...?


"Please. No incense."

Agreed. I know some people are really into it, but not me.
posted by 2oh1 at 12:02 PM on August 22, 2008

P.S. I didn't say I was a sexy man, which explains why I could use all the help I can get.
posted by 2oh1 at 12:04 PM on August 22, 2008

Before you go too crazy, you may want to consider the fact that strong scents trigger migraines in many people. Something you can choose to use (like candles, for example), rather than scents that are ever present, may be best. Then you can ask your guest whether she has an aversion to strong scents before adding them to the air.
posted by chaplinesque at 12:06 PM on August 22, 2008

Murphy's Oil soap smells wonderful...use it on your hardwood floors and woodwork/walls in the house. Also...bacon...it makes me tingly.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:52 PM on August 22, 2008

If you do get incense, get really good brands that have natural ingredients, preferably simple stuff, nothing with fruit or flower flavors. I think the best way to scent your space is with essential oil diffusers. I like the Amrita ball which plugs into an outlet directly; you put little pads in and drip oils on the pad. The smell is aerated gently and slowly so you can leave it for several hours and the effects last for days. Get really good quality oils and choose what you like. For guys I would go with woody, spicy, resinous oils, specifically: vetivert, frankincese, sandalwood, cedar, clove bud. You can change things around by adding a drop or two of something to create a more complex aroma. For that I like some lighter florals like lavender which isn't too feminine but still brightens up all those heavier masculine oils.

All that said, if you have someone coming over later in the day, plug the ball in early enough so that you can unplug it a few hours before anyone comes over. That way it won't smell like you are TRYING to scent your place but instead that is just always smells yummy. I have mine plugged in every few days just to keep a kind of baseline scent going.

Another option is to use cleaning products that smell good. I like to clean my floors and bathroom with Trader Joe's cedarwood and sage cleaner, or sometimes Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap. The smell is great when you are cleaning, and lingers very subtly after you are finished. I make sure all my cleaning products smell good if only for that reason. Also, any toiletries that you use will kind of scent your bathroom so choose wisely there as well. Whatever you do, go natural....those chemically produced smells are nasty, nasty, nasty IMHO.
posted by kenzi23 at 2:10 PM on August 22, 2008

No smell = good smell. Just clean the house well the day before she comes over so the fumes won't be totally overwhelming and you'll be gravy. Trust me, we're just excited not to see piles of laundry everywhere and the bed rumpled like a troop of sorority girls just piled out of it this morning.
posted by CwgrlUp at 3:53 PM on August 22, 2008

Bacon makes me hungry. Cook it up! (But don't use fake bacon scents, because then you'll get a bunch of dogs in your apartment. Just kidding :))

Definitely no scent or clean scent. I strongly suggest no scent because "clean" is a bit subjective in terms of scent. If you do go that route, make sure your cleansers are lightly scented. And as suggested by many others, go natural. And by "natural" I don't mean bodily scents like farts! (though that would personally make me laugh)

On the other hand, my beau has blankets that has that sweaty, hasn't-been-washed-for-years smell (and on him too), which normally would be stinky, but somehow when it's him, I bury my nose in them. Just saying.
posted by curagea at 4:02 PM on August 22, 2008

Cinnamon or coffee are very sexy smells (to me, anyway). Bonus points that they don't tend to set off allergies, like florals or incense can. And they don't make the impression you're trying too hard (i.e. cologne).

cinnamon or coffee. mmmmmm....
posted by InfinateJane at 4:02 PM on August 22, 2008

Every guy I've ever dated has smelled like himself...mmmm. And so have his sheets.

You have a smell that you probably don't notice, but it's there and it's yummy.
posted by sondrialiac at 4:38 PM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Where are you women friends while all this is going on?

I'm not saying that you, as a man (sexy or otherwise), might not have a fully accurate sense of what means "doesn't smell at all." I'm just saying a female nose in your home would be of help.

One hopes that before you drag women back your sexy-smelling lair, you will get to know them well enough to have a sense of where they stand on lemon verbena, melon, cinnamon, graphite powder and whatnot.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 10:50 PM on August 22, 2008

I dated a guy for a few years a few years ago who was the wrong guy for me but I still get weak-kneed remembering how his house smelled EVERY weekend: an intoxicating combo of bacon, fresh roasted espresso, and dryer sheets. yum!
posted by Jezebella at 8:37 PM on August 23, 2008

I second Murphy's Oil. If you have wood floors you should be using it anyway. And everyone loves the smell of bacon.

Also, your place does have a scent, you just don't notice it because you spend a lot of time there. Our brains adjust to the scents we are most used to and consider those the "norm", so when we smell something different we notice. Then when we go back home we don't notice the smell.
posted by junipero at 12:01 AM on November 15, 2008