What to do with all these extra finger condoms?

August 15, 2008 6:35 PM

What to do with all these extra finger condoms?

A friend of mine needed to use one of these for work. Unfortunately, this was a one-time thing, and he's now stuck with an entire box of them. So tell us, hive mind, what should we do with the rest?

Here's what we have so far:

1. Decorating very small cakes.
2. Small balloons.
3. They're too durable for water balloons.
4. One can only tell so many tiny penis jokes.
5. Finger puppets?

Any other ideas?

posted by dinty_moore to grab bag (20 comments total)

Go fuck yourself? Haw haw haw.

Are they latex-powdered? If not, they could be useful as itty bitty goodie bags, for M&Ms at parties/weddings, or sorting beads if you're a beader. Maybe use twist-ties to close them or jsut knot them off.

Making a fabric/mail out of them would be pretty awesome. You could do a cap with unrolled finger condoms stitched together in a web. Floppy or stuffed, it would be a weird dreadsy look.

Or just deploy them one at a time on random objects in public, for example, a carrot at the grocery store.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 6:45 PM on August 15, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Maybe ask your local pet care non-profit if they ever need these. I used to have a cat that got a dermal medication that I applied with those. Maybe your local no-kill facility might have a use for them.

Or "rubberband ball style" / finger condom ball. See how high it bounces.
posted by dog food sugar at 6:53 PM on August 15, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Take up finger painting, without having to wash your hands!
posted by bad grammar at 6:54 PM on August 15, 2008

Bathing caps for parakeets.

Save some for when you go on a crime spree and need to not leave fingerprints.

Fill them with heroin, swallow them, and cross an international border.

See how their use changes the dynamics of thumb-wrestling.

Or just toss them in your medicine cabinet -- they're handy to have when you slice a finger chopping veggies.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:59 PM on August 15, 2008

Please, just throw them away.
posted by wfrgms at 7:12 PM on August 15, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

Leave them at work for others to use when they have open finger wounds.

Save some for when you go on a crime spree and need to not leave fingerprints.
I've been thinking about this. Don't ask why (because the answer is that really I'm just a big nerd who thinks too much, which is kind of embarrassing). But would several layers of liquid latex, or maybe new skin, work better? The problem with using finger condoms for this would be that you'd actually leave fingerprints on the finger condoms. Fingerprint technology is always getting more advanced. With a liquid barrier, you could avoid getting your fingerprints on the barrier itself much more easily.

Fill them with heroin, swallow them, and cross an international border.
Is it also true with finger condoms that "double bagging" actually increases the chances of breaking? They're not used as rigorously, so they wouldn't rub against each other, so maybe it is better to double bag. I guess just use caution. But seriously, don't do this.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 7:22 PM on August 15, 2008

The problem with using finger condoms for this would be that you'd actually leave fingerprints on the finger condoms.

Well, you'd take them away from the scene, and destroy them later.

Or, maybe you could donate 'em to an academic chemistry department or a free clinic or something?
posted by box at 7:35 PM on August 15, 2008

How many are in a box?
posted by contraption at 7:51 PM on August 15, 2008

You could always mail them to me. I always say this, but no one ever listens. I'm telling you: Mail me your finger condoms, and I'll do an art project with them. And I'll post it to Projects.
posted by brina at 7:56 PM on August 15, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Box, what I mean is your fingerprints on the condoms can actually transfer to other surfaces.

Now, to add some actual advice and avoid this comment being total chatfilter... ummm...
...
Profit!

Yeah, I got nothin. I'm going to stick with leaving them at work for others, so they don't have to buy a whole box when they really only need one.

Oh! Or fingerpaint. Easy cleanup.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 8:19 PM on August 15, 2008

Give them to a local restaurant that you like as a kind of weird 'thanks for all the great food I've eaten here' gift.
posted by djgh at 8:20 PM on August 15, 2008

Counting money, or condoms for elves.
posted by ottereroticist at 8:57 PM on August 15, 2008

The practical joker in me would want to make mini-condom packages 'for the smaller man' and leave them scattered near or on a prankee's desk.
posted by pjern at 9:01 PM on August 15, 2008

Protecting matches or a lighter from water in a survival kit.
Giant rubber band cannon.
Who can fit the most fingers in contest.
Stuff with rice or lead shot and juggle.
Spare lid for a water bottle.
Turning pages in a book.
Finger puppets!
Best use of contest at work.
Weirdo popsicles.
posted by zengargoyle at 9:33 PM on August 15, 2008

Polymer clay artists use them so they don't leave fingerprints on their work.

Check out Polymer Clay Central and click on message board. I think I saw a post the other day about someone looking to buy some.
posted by sisflit at 9:48 PM on August 15, 2008

Goshdarnit, I got beaten to the polymer clay advice!

-- If your friend decides he wants to unload them, I'd be interested.
posted by bettafish at 12:34 AM on August 16, 2008

Restaurant cooks use them when they injure themselves. Donate them to a soup kitchen or shelter or someplace that feeds the unfortunate folks.

Or, you know, penis jokes.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:38 AM on August 16, 2008

Save these for an awesome secret santa gift!
posted by grateful at 2:06 PM on August 16, 2008

I had finger surgery and had to use some of these to keep my bandages clean. I'm saving them for some time in the future if I ever have an injured finger again. Novel idea.
posted by IndigoRain at 6:38 PM on August 16, 2008

Keep them in case you need to remove impacted feces from someone.

Or insert a suppository.

Or finger someone. (I suggest this)
posted by sondrialiac at 7:46 PM on August 16, 2008