Monogram etiquette?

August 13, 2008 10:33 AM

If there's only room for a one-letter monogram, should it be the initial of the first or last name?

I want to buy monogrammed napkins that offer only one letter choice. I am a single woman who does NOT intend to change my last name if I get married. Should I use the initial of my first or last name? If it were a sweater or other personal item, I would use my first-name initial. But napkins seem not only more formal but also something that belongs to my "home," as it were. This leads me to think it should represent my family and, therefore, my surname. But all my friends say first name. And while there's plenty of rules out there about monograms, none seem to address one-letter monograms. So which one is the most proper and traditional?

posted by chaplinesque to home & garden (8 comments total)

It's up to you, but instinctively it makes sense to me to use your last name initial on a napkin monogram for all of the reasons (they belong to your home, etc) that you listed above.
posted by kate blank at 10:40 AM on August 13, 2008

I'd vote for last name because they are housewares and not personal items like pendants or sweaters. Also, I heard growing up that it was proper for a lady to use items monogrammed with a family name even if she had changed her name or had a different last name. (No sense not using maternal Grandma Smith's beautiful silver if your name, like your Dad's, is Jones)
posted by pointystick at 10:51 AM on August 13, 2008

Definitely the last name. The first name is highly informal, and if you're looking to formalize your napkins with a monogram, it's best to use your formal name. I also agree with kate blank because the last name signifies the "home" while the first name signifies the "individual".

My $.02
posted by namewithhe1d at 10:52 AM on August 13, 2008

Last name. It's my understanding that in the past when people got something expensive and personalized like a set of monogrammed napkins (or silverware, tablecloth, etc.), they got them with the intention of passing them on to the next generation. If you were married and had changed your name, then your children and husband would have the same initial and you could pass the napkins on to them.

As it is, I agree with pointystick that napkins monogrammed with your surname's initial could still be passed on to relatives. I have many older items monogrammed with H's and R's that I use in my home even though my current last name begins with an S-- most of them belonged to my grandmothers.
posted by weezetr at 11:04 AM on August 13, 2008

Another vote for last name. The only things I've ever seen first initials (as an only initial) used on are necklaces and bracelets.
posted by amyms at 12:24 PM on August 13, 2008

Another vote for last name, which is more traditional as well.

My husband and I have inherited things like this (mostly miscellaneous linen napkins and spoons) from both sides of the families, and the single initial ones are from the last names. We like to use them, even though the initials reflect a variety of family names/initials that don't match either of our last names. It is really nice to have great grandma's serving spoon still in use by the family.
posted by gudrun at 1:50 PM on August 13, 2008

Another vote for last name. Seems more formal and official. If you were getting stationery or something kitschy, then first initial.

Who knows, you could eventually marry someone with the same last initial.
posted by LiveToEat at 1:55 PM on August 13, 2008

A contrary vote for first name here. If/when you do get married/have kids, it might be nice to be able to give everyone their own napkins, with their own initial. With only one initial, last name isn't going to cut it. Even at a more formal dinner, it's nice to be inclusive on a personal level.

Of course, we solved that in our family with unique napkin rings for each person.
posted by crickets at 2:41 PM on August 13, 2008