Therapy now or later?
August 12, 2008 7:06 AM Subscribe
Depression-filter: Was I depressed, should I seek therapy now and can it happen again?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (17 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I think I was depressed from about August 2006-February 2008. August 2006 marks the time I received my 1st year grades in law school. February 2008 marks the last semester of law school.
I think I was depressed. Some symptoms: I stayed isolated, slept in, skipped classes and did poorly in school. It didn’t start until after first year grades came back. I think that, combined with rejection from employers and being picked on by professors did it.
I did contemplate suicide a couple of times during law school, but never went through with it. I didn’t want other people to suffer just because I was unhappy. I don’t think I was just being lazy. I know I just didn’t want it anymore.
These days I'm doing better. Exercise helped and making friends outside of law school helped too. I graduated and have taken the bar exam. Though I don't have a job, it feels like the worst is over.
I'm afraid though the bad times will happen again. I don’t take failure personally anymore but I haven’t regained my confidence in myself. I don’t think I deserve good things in life, which is probably how I rationalize receiving bad results.
For example, the other day I sent in an application to the US Army J.A.G. Corps (military lawyers). They’re basically one of the few places that hire new law graduates without only looking at grades. I spoke with the recruiter and he cautioned I might be assigned to a combat zone. I wasn’t bothered at all. Somewhere I was thinking, “Great, now I won’t have to commit suicide, I’ll be a hero and my family will get some insurance money.”
I don't know how therapy works. I don’t have any money now. I’m doing pretty good now, relatively speaking, so should I just wait until I can afford it or is it worth seeking out now?