Logistics?

August 7, 2008 9:27 AM

SexEd-filter: Need some physical advice to help out a great relationship otherwise...

My new girlfriend and I are hitting it off on many levels - intellectual, emotional, "same point in life", etc... We're also ( as far as I know and from what she tells me....) doing ok on the sexual aspect thus far. Here's where it gets a little weird in terms of mechanics:

She's quite a bit heavier than I am physically, and I'm not as well endowed ( 5.5" long if it matters ). Right now we're still in the missionary and related positions, and I love cunnilingus so that's always on board. Previous experience leaves me wondering though.

My question is: What other positions and techniques or maneuvers are there that will allow me to spice up our sex life should this relationship continue on into the long term?

As an example: doggy-style does not work for both of us. The stimulation is there for me, but unfortunately not for her. ( Yes, I could finish and then finish her, but that gets sort of old. Per my ex-gf ).

I know I might be putting the cart before the horse here, but still - I'm crazy about this woman. I've tried finding porn to help out, but truth be told, it all seems exploitative regarding the women and never seems to focus on satisfying them. ( even with the more endowed males ).

Help!

posted by anonymous to human relations (13 comments total)

Your partner on top? Reverse cowgirl? T intersection?

And for what it's worth, which is not a whole hell of a lot, your exactly as well endowed as the average male. Congratulations, you have a mean cock!
posted by DarlingBri at 9:46 AM on August 7, 2008

Doggystyle plus her own manual stimulation. Also note that changing the angle that her nethers are being penetrated can make a HUGE difference in feeling for her, depending on whether her back is parallel to the ground or at an angle.

Spooning (note that for best results true spoonage doesn't occur, she is leaning forward or possibly to her side a bit towards you

Her on her back on the bed, ass propped by pillows if necessary, you standing beside bed

And of course, average sized cocks are perfect for anal.
posted by waraw at 10:08 AM on August 7, 2008

Yes, I could finish and then finish her, but that gets sort of old. Per my ex-gf

Why are you letting your ex-girlfriend have a voice in the conversation about your current sex life? Oh, wait, you're just assuming that your current girlfriend will feel the same way about sexual things as your ex-girlfriend? Well, that's even sillier.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:08 AM on August 7, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

So, basically her thighs and buttocks are big and a little in the way sometimes? Am I reading into this correctly? Well, It's always helpful to have a wedge pillow, and an elevated missionary configuration with a lot of leg-splaying/tilting is a recommendable position, for g-spot lovers. Or, if it's a really tall pillow or stack of pillows, you can even be kneeling. Or stand and use the edge of the bed. The wedge would be a big help for rear-entry, too, it's like being in a put-me-over-your knee position. Though I second waraw's recommendation to encourage simultaneous manual stimulation for her, it can be so awkward to pull off while face-down.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:22 AM on August 7, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

To be literal and a bit *groan* cheeky, what you need to do it put the pussy on a pedestal!!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:24 AM on August 7, 2008

nthing woman on top. I cannot say enough for it.
posted by parmanparman at 10:57 AM on August 7, 2008

This might be a little too much for a little relationship, depending on your comfort level, but try some Liberator shapes. That is good advice no matter what. ;-)
posted by Silvertree at 12:26 PM on August 7, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

i am usually the fattymcfattersons in a relationship, and doggy style was one of the few things that rocked my world. is she lifting her ass enough? leaning down and hugging a pillow and such?
posted by misanthropicsarah at 1:05 PM on August 7, 2008

It can be a little tiring for the woman, but a great position for maximizing sensation is to have her lay on her back and rest her ankles on your shoulders. Similar to missionary position, but it can provide better depth of penetration and allow direct manual stimulation, either by you or her.
posted by lekvar at 1:08 PM on August 7, 2008

The best way I've found to maximize the length you've got is for the woman to be on top and for you both to sit up - works best sitting on a couch or leaning against a wall/headboard.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:58 PM on August 7, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Depending on height of parties involved/availability of appropriate furniture, have her bend over the arm of a couch or chair--ie, get that ass up in the air! The bootius maximus should be drawn taut if you're doing this correctly. This will allow you to penetrate more deeply and... vigorously, as the cushioning of the ass will be reduced. It may strain the back of her legs, so have her do some stretches before you try.
Once you get the hang of it, she should be able to manually stimulate herself.
posted by Benjy at 5:12 PM on August 7, 2008

Try sitting on a chair that has no arms. Ask her to climb aboard either facing you or facing away for a modified reverse cowgirl.
posted by dagnyduquette at 5:26 PM on August 7, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

seconding lekvar's suggestion, I'm overweight and like to keep my legs up high, it helps penetration a lot. And in that position I always pull the pillow out from under my head so that my back isn't tilted up at all.
posted by saffry at 6:45 PM on August 7, 2008