What should I do? What major should I pick?

August 3, 2008 12:15 AM

What should I do? What college major should I choose?

I'm really stress out about a lot of things. First let me give a little detailed about myself. I'm a third years college student and I'm LOST.

My first year of college went fine, I manage to passed all of my classes. This is when my major was computer engineering. During my second year I failed my Chemistry 151 class, after that I failed my Calculus class and it just went down hill from there.

During my second years I dropped all of my classes except one because I was doing miserable....So after all this trouble I decided to go see a counselor because I think I chose the wrong major. The counselor let me take a few test and give me a list of the major that might fit me. The top one was teacher.

Anyway, I talk with my family and everything and my sister whose have already finished college. After all the talk I decided to be a nurse.

So during the summer I took my first Biology class and failed it miserably, and right now I'm really depress.

Any help or suggestion?

* 1 week ago

Additional Details

1 week ago
* Another reason for my stress is my parent, they work really hard to pay for my tuition and I feel like I'm not doing my job.....I try really hard but I can't seem to pass the classes....

I really just want to finish school, have a stable job so my parent don't have to worry about me anymore....

Can someone point me in the right direction? So from what I see I'm not cut out for Chemistry, Biology or Calculus....What can I do?

posted by huyhoangbach to education (16 comments total)

This is a common problem among college students, so don't beat yourself up. Let's think about what would make sense for you.

A few questions:
1. What kind of school are you attending?
A large university? A small liberal arts college? A community college? In the US or somewhere else?

You should be able to find someone at the school who can help walk you through this process in person, over a period of time If we know more about what kind of school you're at, we might have tips about who to speak to. It also sounds like maybe you could take more advantage of services the school offers -- do they offer math tutoring? study skills classes? etc Those might be very useful, and while you're in school they are usually free.

2. Why do you think you're doing badly in these classes?
Are you uncertain of the material during class, or do you think you're understanding in class but you do badly on exams? Do you have solid basic math skills or is that a difficult thing for you? Do you have a hard time learning by listening? Are you having a hard time making it to class regularly? Do you have a good study routine, or do you put off studying until the last minute? Are there some parts of the material you find easy and some you find harder?

By the way - don't get stressed about these questions -- many bright and capable people run into these problems. The solution is just to sit back, and think in a strategic way about what those "trouble" classes have in common. This will help you to think about where your strengths are, and what areas you could work on. (whatever you can tell us, might help us to think of suggestions for your specific strengths)
posted by LobsterMitten at 12:33 AM on August 3, 2008

Forgot to add:
3. Are there classes that you have done better in? Or natural talents or things you enjoy?
posted by LobsterMitten at 12:37 AM on August 3, 2008

Something that's almost completely missing from all of the above, is what you enjoy, what you're good at, and what you value most in your studies/job/future. Did you notice that? Have you figured those out clearly yet?

These two bits really jumped out at me:
they work really hard to pay for my tuition and I feel like I'm not doing my job
followed by
I really just want to finish school, have a stable job so my parent don't have to worry about me anymore....

1) you have to do well at school for you, not for your parents
2) if their paying makes you feel guilty, consider taking some time out to earn some money, or working while studying, which, despite your stress about grades, can increase your personal accountability.
3) this is the only section which says anything about what you want, and what it says to me is not "I need a 4-year theoretical degree," it says "I want a stable job, with a decent income, that will give me options in life." Have you considered a technical/vocational degree? There are all sorts of opportunities (e.g. electrician, technicians for various health fields) that would tie into the things you've wanted to major in, have good earning potential, and get you out of school faster and with less calculus. If you save money and want another degree later, cool. If you don't, who cares?! You're working in a field you wanted to head towards, in a capacity that more matches your priorities/interests/skills.

Don't study something just because your advisor or parents told you to. That is a sure-fire way to continue not doing well, or hating yourself even if you do. Ask all my friends who are in med school because their parents wanted them to be doctors.
posted by whatzit at 12:40 AM on August 3, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Your listed name would seem to hint that you are Vietnamese (I could be totally wrong, after all my own name is completely misleading). You mention a lot of things that your family want you to do. I'm taking a leap here, but do you come from a culture in which there is a ton of pressure to do well academically and choose certain fields? I don't have any direct experience but I can sympathize... I've had a lot of friends struggle to meet really high expectations that they didn't choose for themselves.

Anyway, I agree with the posters above: You'll only do well if you study something you really care about for it's own sake. Easier said than done, especially if your parents are offering to pay, but I've rarely seen people make it through difficult programs on parental pressure alone (and they're often miserable if they do).

That said, maybe you have your own reasons for wanting to be a nurse, in which case you shouldn't give up. Talk to advisors and professors about things like tutoring, ask them what you can do to be a better student, and don't give up.

I've been kicked out of university for bad grades, and for me it was humiliating to ask for help. While much of the "help" is useless, some of it has been really substantive. In any case, you shouldn't let your pride get in the way.

To summarize: Resolve to study something for reasons that are your own, use university resources to figure out what went wrong before, don't give up.
posted by phrontist at 3:10 AM on August 3, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

So from what I see I'm not cut out for Chemistry, Biology or Calculus....What can I do?

Well, if you still want to teach, what about teaching something outside the sciences?
posted by DarlingBri at 3:30 AM on August 3, 2008

To build a little on phrontist's assumption that you are Vietnamese - it appeared to me in reading your question that you have a pretty-good-but-not-complete mastery of the English language. Please don't take that as an insult, I don't mean anything by it other than that I noticed a few words that should have been pluralized (i.e. adding an "s" at the end) or were otherwise misused (i.e. you are not "depress" - you are "depressed").

I only point this out because I think perhaps if you are studying at a university where the teaching and all of the study materials and tests and so forth are not in your native / primary language, you might be putting yourself at a disadvantage right from the start.

If this is the case, perhaps consider examining whether it takes you longer to read things than it does your peers, whether you finish tests / quizzes after most people seem to be done, whether you have more trouble communicating verbally than others, etc.. If you do come to the conclusion that there is a language barrier, no matter how big or small, between you and your ability to learn, I'd suggest you drop your studies and focus completely on mastering English, so that you are able to learn without having the language issue slow you down. Another alternative would be to complete your studies at an institution where the teaching / learning materials are in your native / primary language.
posted by allkindsoftime at 4:01 AM on August 3, 2008

Failing chemistry, biology and calculus definitely doesn't mean that you're not cut out for any job requiring those subjects. If you failed chemistry because you found it impossibly dull then you might want to consider whether you'd enjoy a career involving lots of chemistry (ditto for calc and bio) but college students fail classes all the time. They even fail classes in their majors and classes that provide the foundation for everything they're going to need to know for their careers.
That said, it sounds like you're not choosing careers for the right reasons. I've never heard of anyone who made any sort of important life decision based on the results of some aptitude test from a guidance counselor (and in my own attempts to pick a major I've been asking lots of people how they decided to do what they do). Do think about which classes you enjoyed (even if your grades in those classes weren't great) and what you enjoyed about those classes and maybe ask those professors for advice about how to go farther in those topics.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 6:20 AM on August 3, 2008

What do you love to do the most? What gives you the most joy in life? Pursuing a career in these things will ultimate lead to financial success and mental stability.

I realize that "follow your joy" is probably the oldest career advice still on the books, but it works well.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 6:32 AM on August 3, 2008

It sounds like you're facing a lot of parental and cultural pressure to succeed. That's really rough! Unfortunately, it can also make following your own instincts really difficult.

I had quite a few friends who were pressured to go to college by their parents and wasted a lot of time and money there. Some were simply not ready for college when they were initially attending--at 18, 19, or 20 it can be really, really difficult to figure out what you really want. These friends flunked classes until a feasible career goal finally hit them, in their late twenties or early thirties--and then, in almost every case, they excelled in their coursework. A few friends went to college because their parents wanted them to but deep down wanted to be things like cafe managers or makeup artists, things that didn't even require college degrees. In these cases, they kept flunking classes until they completely flunked out and were able to go do what they really wanted.

In both cases, the individuals involved did eventually figure out how to pursue their passions. However, it's a shame that they wasted as much time and money as they did when either waiting or pursuing what they really wanted in the first place would have gotten them to the same goal. Because of this, I'd really, really recommend taking a leave of absence or just leaving school for a few years so that you can figure out what you really want. If you think you might be interested in teaching, try working in a school system. Get a job so that you can feel independent and start really thinking about what you want. It might take a few years to figure it out, but that's okay. This is your life; you only get one shot, and it's worth taking the time to do it right.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:01 AM on August 3, 2008

A couple of things that are missing from your discussion. The major one is why you are failing the classes. Looking at this as being an issue of "being in the wrong major" may not be getting at your real problems. Are you just not understanding the material - is it an all around problem (poor marks on homework, doing poorly at tests), or do you feel like you can grasp the material but you can't get it together on the tests (maybe indicating something like test-taking anxiety)? Do you have trouble following the discussion in class? Do you feel like you're following along, but after the fact you can't reconstruct the discussion from your notes? Trouble reading the material? Did you have trouble with math and science in high school - have these always been problem topics for you? Or perhaps you just started too far ahead of the material you started with in college - are their more basic fundamental courses you could start with - adding a some time to your education but giving you the fundamentals to make the bridge? Have you looked into tutoring? If you're too focused on carrying out your education as rapidly and cheaply as possible you might be failing to make the investments that will allow you to succeed. Were you dealing with depression prior to your performance problems, i.e. is the fundamental problem that you're having trouble getting out of bed to get to class, can't keep your mind on your studies, can't focus to do your homework and study for tests? Was there ever any indication of a learning problem, i.e. did you always struggle with reading, or keeping your focus and attention - did you just manage to eke out acceptable performance in high school or are you a former good student finding yourself struggling for reasons you don't understand? If you discuss more what is specifically causing your school problems you might get some good specific advice about turning it around.

It's also not clear to me why you left computer science. I assume chemistry was not a requirement, if calculus is, well, lots of people fail courses they need for their major - they take them again, get tutoring or other help, pester the teacher during office hours to help them understand the toughest material. I had a friend who had to take organic chemistry three times. Were you doing poorly in your computer classes as well? Do you like computers? Why did you choose this major in the first place? Similarly, you took tests that suggested you had an aptitude for teaching. Not to say you should just do what a test tells you to, but you don't really explain why this option went off the table.

These things seem related. You aren't examining possible reasons for failing courses except that, basically, they're the wrong subjects for you. And it isn't clear why you are choosing the majors you are, except that you're looking for something you can succeed at. That shouldn't be the only criteria.
posted by nanojath at 9:51 AM on August 3, 2008

You need to give us a bit more information. You talk about classes you failed, but what classes did you do well in, and what classes did you enjoy the most? What are your hobbies or interests outside of school? Do you like to read, and, if so, what are your favorite authors/genres?

Do you like little kids, in which case primary school teaching might work, or does that not interest you at all? In that case, perhaps consider more specialized teaching, like English as a Second Language? Do you know a language other than English well?, if so, you might become a translator.

Give us a bit more to go on.
posted by gudrun at 9:55 AM on August 3, 2008

nanojath: A couple of things that are missing from your discussion. The major one is why you are failing the classes. Looking at this as being an issue of "being in the wrong major" may not be getting at your real problems.

Agreed. My suggestion would be to read a book on study skills (taking notes, time management, how to study for tests, etc.). A list of recommendations. Or take a study skills course, usually offered through your college's student resources center. Or both.
posted by russilwvong at 12:23 PM on August 3, 2008

I've noticed others have asked whether you're Vietnamese. I'm Chinese, and I understand that in most (if not all) Asian cultures, there's a lot of pressure from family/parents to be "successful", and to them, success = college. I think secretly they also want youth in that factor: if you're young and smart, to them you look better to others than if you're old and smart.

It really sounds like you were pressured into college just to satisfy your parents. Realize, however, that college is not for everyone; it's not one-size-fits-all. Some people I know got full-time jobs before going into college, and some never went into college at all, and they are bright and fun people. Remember, this is about you. Not your parents, not your relatives, not your peers. This is your life, and you should do with it as you see fit. If you feel trapped in college, consider taking a year off and getting a job or going to vocational college. Or take just a class or two and work at the same time. Either way, talk to your counselors/advisors, see what they say. The problem you should bring up is not "What classes?" or "What major?" It's "Is college right for me? What paths can I take besides it?" Personally, I think it's better to get a job and then maybe go to college; you'll gain real-world professional experience.

If you do choose to stay in college, find out why you're failing. Are the classes boring? Are you having trouble studying? What interests you? Take some time to sit down and think for yourself and ask yourself these questions. And ask your friends! If you can't study alone, find a study group. Trust me, friends arguing and bitching over homework can be quite fun and enlightening. Find a couple of school clubs to join, maybe some academic clubs like math clubs or art clubs, whatever you find interesting. Even if it's only mildly interesting, go to one of their meetings and see what it's like. Meet new people. College isn't just about studying and grades. It's about meeting new people and making connections.

Believe me, you're not the only one going through this. I went through this shit in my first couple of years, with the whole parents/major/classes thing. So think for yourself, live for yourself. Do what feels right for you.

Good luck!
posted by curagea at 1:38 PM on August 3, 2008

If you are indeed from a culture where parental pressure is strong, I feel for you (well, I feel for you anyway). I'm not sure the other posters here appreciate how difficult it is for those in the culture to just break away from what your parents want. I'm only in university to get my parents off my back, and every semester I keep ranting about how I hate it here, I wish I was doing something else, blah blah...and now it's my final semester. I didn't have the courage to leave, and I'm considered a rebel in my culture. Imagine how the "non-rebels" feel!

It sounds to me like your heart isn't into your degree (whether it's your major, your university, or the fact that you're doing the degree) but there are factors stopping you. Your parents seem to be a strong one. What do you fear will happen if you break away from your parents' wishes? Will they stop supporting you anymore? Could you be cut off from the family? Would you bring about shame? Could it be more like my family situation, where they won't actually stop supporting you needs-wise but will guilt-trip you to hell?

I would suggest finding a trusted friend or mentor that could help you through these hard issues and give you support no matter what you end up doing. I understand how difficult it can be to get parents to understand your motivations - they tend to think more about themselves and their status rather than their children's happiness! (or, if they claim "happiness", it's what their idea of happiness is.) By having that outside support, you'll find that it's OK to be who you are, and that the world won't end just because you aren't a science major.

My heart goes out to you. Please feel free to send me a MefiMail or email me - divabat[at]gmail[dot]com - if you want to talk.
posted by divabat at 3:34 PM on August 3, 2008

I agree with other posters that it'll be helpful to post why you are failing the classes.

That aside, I don't think you should make any life-changing decisions based on test scores or career assessments. I have quite a few failings during my college years (where do I even begin?) but one thing I did *not* regret was continuing on with major.

I get the feeling that you think failing classes equals to failing in life/jobs/whatever, but it's not true. Myself, I failed a class in programming but now I'm known as the unofficial techie person on the business side. A classmate failed 5 math classes (I think multiple times for 2 of the classes), a few writing classes, and some other classes but now excel at the work place doing math ALL day long. Got a HUGE year end bonus in the first year. Another friend got straight A's, double majored, wrote 2 thesis, and graduated with honors had the hardest time finding work. Couldn't do it for over year after graduation.

Basically what I'm saying is that while there's some correlation between school and
your performance on the job, it's not 100% and a few tests will never tell you who's going to do better in the real world.

As for your major / career, a lot of posters are telling to do what you love but if you were like me back in college, you probably don't know what you love or what you're good at. That's okay, that's why college and internships exist. What might be helpful for you, and sometime I wish I did more of in college, is to take some time off and get an internship in an area you THINK you'll be interested. This will give you time to explore your strengths and weaknesses in the real world but also allow you to generate income so you don't feel like you're wasting your parents money/time.

Hopefully you're still reading this but if you have any questions, feel free to contact me.
posted by vocpanda at 12:49 AM on August 5, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Wow, I post this last week and got tons of responses....I'm really happy that you guy are trying to help me out. Not only about school but life also.

There seem to be a lot of question about my post so let me clear them up.

First, yes I'm Vietnamese. If you don't know about Asian culture, they are very strict. I was born in Vietnam and my parent told me the reason we moved to the US is for my future...That put a great deal of stresses on me.

*My English is not perfect because it's my second languages but I managed to passed all of my English class with and OK grades (A and B)

Anyhow, many of you ask why I'm felling classes...I think the main reason is I'm somewhat of a procrastinator and I put thing off to the very last minute. Secondly I do very well in classes but poorly on tests. For the moment those are the only reason I could think of.

I first pick Computer Engineering because I love computer since I first touch it and I just love working with computer. I have check with the school and Chemistry is a required subject for my career path.

Oh yeah, the college I'm going to is called Glendale Community College. I plan to finish two years there then transfer to ASU...

I'm not sure if I'm leaving out anything but I really really appreciate all your help and concern. I have register for the Fall Semester, I'm going to take BIO 156 again, this time I will not procrastinate and focus more in class.
posted by huyhoangbach at 12:00 AM on August 6, 2008