Is it worth it to date someone under these circumstances?
August 1, 2008 9:19 AM Subscribe
Is it worth it to date someone under these (non-exclusive) circumstances?
posted by anonymous to human relations (24 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I am not very familiar with the concept of dating several people at one time.
I've started seeing someone with whom I had an immediate and undeniable connection. In fact, when we first met he was saying a lot of things about the future and even mentioned "marriage" several times (although in a joking manner). My initial impression of him is that he wanted a relationship that would be emotionally intimate.
When we first met I learned that he had just ended a serious relationship. Well, his ex recently visited from out of town and he told me that they slept together. I'm not really mad about this, as he was totally honest with me about it and had been clear all along that ours was not an exclusive relationship. The thing that bothers me is that I know that he was very happy her and that the only reason they aren't together is that she moved across the country. However, he said they had "tried to work things out but it's not going to happen."
He told me that he really likes me...in fact, that he's "crazy" about me but that he simply isn't ready for an exclusive/serious relationship since his last relationship ended so recently. I do believe that he is an honest, (not a "player" or a "liar") but my fear is that I'm being too naive to read between the lines and that perhaps he is saying that I'm "not the one" for him. Also, he's a bit younger than me (mid 20s) and I wonder if this contributes to his desire to avoid getting serious too quickly and that maybe he's just going to be in party mode for a while.
I think we could be very well suited for each other, but I'm not sure I like the "terms" of the relationship (i.e. "not serious until further notice."). However, I haven't known him that long (only a little over a month) and I know that a lot of people date longer than that before they agree to be exclusive. Also, I am allowed to date other people if I wish (but I would rather be exclusive with him).
I am a sensitive person. Am I setting myself up for disappointment if I date him under these circumstances? I don't mind going with the flow, but only if it seems like there might be a possibility that this could turn into something more serious.