I'm 23, female, and about to get married to someone with a much higher sex drive than mine (I attribute this to his having very few sexual relationships prior to me, while I have been much more active). At first, we had the usual new-relationship-constant-sex thing that most people do, which lasted a few months, and now two and a half years later he's still expecting to have sex daily (or multiple times daily). It's not that I'm less attracted to him, but I have certainly gotten busier and less sexual - for me, 2-3 times a week would be sufficient, if not too often.
We have attempted to address this several times and come to a stalemate where compromises are concerned. He just doesn't get why I was able to have sex so often before, but can't now. Also, he seems to think that when I don't feel like having intercourse, it isn't too much to ask for me to help him manually. I disagree - while I'm not opposed to this sometimes, there are days where I just don't have the capacity for sex in any form.
So what I'm asking is, how does one work out something like this? I assume most married couples have discussed this and come to some sort of conclusion, but how, and what is it? Is it wise or normal to say "We'll do it x times a week, and if one of us does not want to, then y or z."? Is there another solution we're not seeing? What kinds of compromises or agreements do you have or know about?
I know that there are other threads like this one
and this one
which include suggestions on a happy married life - I need suggestions of this kind in regard to a happy married sex