Or forever hold your peace...

July 24, 2008 3:42 PM

Looking for any anecdotes about what actually happens when someone tries to stop a wedding.

Think of the classic romantic comedy scene: the love interest is marrying her fiance. The wedding ceremony is about to be completed, when suddenly, the protagonist rushes in and stops the wedding with undeniable proof that the groom is a major douche. The groom tries to fight him, the protagonist wins, and everyone in the audience claps as the love interest and the protagonist embrace.

Has anyone ever been to a wedding that someone tried to stop? What happened? Has there ever been a real wedding where the the people in attendance took the side of someone else against the groom?

Thanks

posted by fingo to human relations (11 comments total)

I thik the "speak now or forever hold your peace" bit refers specifically to people with knowledge that one of the parties is already married and thus not free to marry again, rather than an opinion or evidence that one of them is a "douche".
posted by zadcat at 3:55 PM on July 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I asked a similar question once.
posted by Mercaptan at 3:59 PM on July 24, 2008

Someone asked this at yahoo and got one decent answer.

There's also this interesting BBC story about a 13 year old's classmates stopping her forced wedding, but before the day of. Doesn't go into much detail.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 4:05 PM on July 24, 2008

zadcat - the original question doesn't deal specifically with that part of the traditional wedding ceremony. I think most modern weddings (in the US, at least) leave that part out entirely.
posted by muddgirl at 4:10 PM on July 24, 2008

never mind, just read the title :(
posted by muddgirl at 4:12 PM on July 24, 2008

I always thought the "speak now or forever hold your peace" was more of an admonishment to friends and relatives in attendance, meaning "If you think something is wrong with this marriage, say it now or never say it in the future."

e.g. If Aunt Gertie thinks your new hubby is a dick, she can say it now at the wedding ("speak now"), but if she chooses not to say anything then she relinquishes her right to ever complain about him in the future ("forever hold your peace").
posted by amyms at 4:29 PM on July 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

When I was going through marriage counseling with my husband and our Episcopal priest, he pointed out, as Zadcat states, that the line "...or forever hold your peace" is a request for someone to come forthwith information that one of the parties is previously married and thus not free to marry .
posted by lleachie at 4:43 PM on July 24, 2008

lleachie has it. "speak now" is the last chance for someone to inform the priest that one of the couple is not free to be married. it's not intended to be an opportunity for unrequited lovers to proclaim their affection.
posted by thinkingwoman at 5:04 PM on July 24, 2008

undeniable proof that the groom is a major douche

I don't think there is such a thing, hence the consensus in askMefi threads that, no, you should not try to warn your ex's new flame about what your ex did and what s/he's really like - you won't be taken seriously (at best!) and it just isn't going to work.

The closest wedding-instance of this that I know of, is that at the merest suspicion that a certain person might think of objecting to a wedding, a restraining order was considered, and people behind the scenes at the wedding were instructed to keep a look-out for, and deny entry to, this person.
posted by -harlequin- at 5:08 PM on July 24, 2008

The two people I know who objected to weddings and made thier feelings known before the wedding did it months before the wedding (as they should have to avoid being drama twats).

In both cases the wedding still took place, the friendships, however, ended. It was not something that would make a good sitcom or dark comedy, it was a perfect example of the sad, unfortunate paths that human lives take.
posted by Ookseer at 11:54 PM on July 24, 2008

Think about it this way. Movies are fake; really fake. The "Hackers" scene when they are actually penetrating systems. The virus in "Swordfish." Every representation of college ever produced by "MTV."

Traditionally few people will marry someone they don't want to (at the time). And if anyone thinks of doing the cool movie thing of objecting, think of what that will do. There is a lot of money that goes into a wedding and a lot of careful planning. Not to mention a lot of people present on both sides of the aisle.

I think that if someone is a major douche, it would be the individual with the audacity to stand up and say that of the groom with all of his family and close friends in attendance.
posted by thebreaks at 6:02 AM on July 25, 2008