Comments on: Is there any fool-proof way of inducing a sickness?

Question: Is there any fool-proof way of inducing a sickness?

defenestratedego — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:49:44 -0800

I have found myself in quite a tricky situation and I think the only way to get out of this would be to fake an illness. Is there any not-harmful-in-the-long-term way to do this? It would be a plus if a reasonable doctor can't think of it. In case it helps, I live in New York and I can have most of the OTC medicines.

By: cellphone

cellphone — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:51:41 -0800

Depending on the situation, faking an illness may be fraud. Be wary.

By: spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints

spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:53:07 -0800

What kind of illness are you talking about here? Do you need to be out of commission for a day, a week, month? Are we talking the common cold, or lupus?

By: orangemiles

orangemiles — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:53:48 -0800

I can't think of a possible place where a lie is the best answer. Why not be truthful in this situation? The world needs more strong people to stand up and tell the truth, even if it is hard to do.

By: box

box — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:56:02 -0800

Perhaps you could fake some kind of psychological condition.

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:56:54 -0800

Could you tell people you have Fisherman's Mouth?

It's a little unclear how much depth you need here: do you mean you need to actually manifest some genuine symptoms to convince someone that you've got a fake illness? It's pretty easy to give yourself non-fatal food poisoning, but you really DO NOT want to put yourself through that to get out of going to a concert or something.

By: desjardins

desjardins — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:57:51 -0800

We really need more info here. Are you trying to cut classes or play hooky from work for a day or two? "Projectile vomiting" is really all you need to say there - no one will want you to come into work after that and you generally don't need a doctor's excuse for food poisoning.

By: VioletU

VioletU — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:58:53 -0800

Assuming this is a short-term thing, and the reason you're asking is because the person who you'll be making the excuse to is a doctor, why not go for the "intestinal distress" thing? Migraine? Menstrual cramps? (Okay, maybe that last one won't work for you..)

If you're looking to fake something for longer than a day or two, at most, then I'm in agreement with the "just be truthful" thing. Otherwise, an "emergency out of town trip" might work..

By: Phalene

Phalene — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:01:59 -0800

If you need a doctor's note to get out of whatever (court date, work, contract), that's probably fraud.

If you're merely coming up with a tactful excuse for why you missed Aunt Judy's third wedding, you had a medical incident that you will be evasive about, but if pressed, describe in detail the runny yellow dysentry, where you ejected the stringy lining of your intestines, as it was that bad, and spent the day on the toilet, rehydrating and crying.

By: selfmedicating

selfmedicating — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:02:36 -0800

Dude.

You have posted a total of 2 askmefi questions:
"Is there any foolproof way of inducing a sickness?"
"How do I send picture postcards of a city without being in it?"

I suspect that faking an illness is not actually going to fix the underlying problem.

By: Grither

Grither — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:03:36 -0800

Gastroenteritis is how I got out of a final or two back in the good old college days (which was only about two or three years ago).

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:20:11 -0800

Is your like some kind of hackneyed sitcom? In real life this is a crime, sometimes a felony, called fraud. If you collect any sort of unemployment, tax credit, health care money, etc then you can be in serious trouble that could lead to over a year in prison.

No doctor will back you up on this as this can cost him his license.

If you really need a day or two off or whatever just say you feel sick or that you hurt your hand or foot or something. Buy a little OTC splint. I doubt you can properly fake a serious or long-term illness.

By: unixrat

unixrat — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:26:01 -0800

Food poisoning is simple to get and will take you out of commission for a week+. There's an outside chance of death, so it's not all puking rainbows and crapping kittens.

Though I suspect that this question will be closed soon.

By: missmagenta

missmagenta — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:27:30 -0800

I think we need more information about what tricky situation this illness is supposed to get you out of and not just because we're a nosey lot - what you're trying to get out of will tell us how severe an illness you need to fake and how feasible your request is.

Don't underestimate the power of the mind though - sure you can't give yourself something seriously medically wrong just by the power of thought but you can give yourself a fever and if you're particularly sensitive, vomiting.

Would diarrhea do? Thats easy, eat a really hot curry followed by lots of juicy fruits like grapes and plums.

By: ml98tu

ml98tu — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:30:04 -0800

What are you trying to get out of? Why is lying the best option? Are you actually intending to make yourself sick or just come up with something believable?

Could you reduce your fluid intake to become dehydrated? It's pretty hot in NYC right now so going outside or standing on the subway platform might accelerate the process. To be honest, it is not a safe plan and I would not to do it myself.

I think mkultra has it. If so, just take the damn thing, you can take it a bunch of times and you are probably more prepared than you think.

By: defenestratedego

defenestratedego — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:36:27 -0800

It is a personal, "Aunt Judy's third wedding" type of situation and I would end up losing face.
Sorry for being a total wus.
I think Orangemiles is right... I should just cough up.
Thanks.

By: desjardins

desjardins — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:39:39 -0800

Good for you, you'll respect yourself in the morning. Aunt Judy will get over it.

By: meso

meso — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:56:01 -0800

What desjardins said.

And you'll feel so much better for it, if not immediately. Accessorily, you won't have to regret forever "I should have told them the truth".

Good decision! *pat on the back*