Comments on: Do burglars read AskMeFi?

Question: Do burglars read AskMeFi?

DB Cooper — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:09:19 -0800

What is your most ingenious hiding place for valuables?

I am looking for suggestions for where to hide items such as cash, jewelry, spare car keys, etc. I know about hollowed-out books and fake cans of shaving cream, but I would like to hear some other creative examples that are not so well-known.

By: Penelope

Penelope — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:12:51 -0800

My friend kept hers in her tampon box when she was living in the Ivory Coast lol.

By: kimdog

kimdog — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:14:22 -0800

In the toilet tank in a waterproof container.

By: gwenlister

gwenlister — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:16:10 -0800

My friend kept hers in her tampon box when she was living in the Ivory Coast lol.

Holy crap, that is genius.

By: studentbaker

studentbaker — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:16:12 -0800

I put my valuables in a box at the bottom of my laundry basket. If I'm on a long vacation, I'll leave extra boxers spilling over the sides with a special pair that I decorated with chocolate syrup right on top.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:17:12 -0800

In a safe deposit box at the bank.

Not ingenious, but indubitably safe.

By: All.star

All.star — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:18:40 -0800

I have a hollow book that I keep stuff in, though not valuables.

By: Nelson

Nelson — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:20:49 -0800

inside a picture frame, between the backing paper and the picture

By: carsonb

carsonb — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:22:29 -0800

In the freezer, under the hot dogs.

By: ShooBoo

ShooBoo — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:23:08 -0800

There's always the fake soiled underwear brief safe.

By: Mitheral

Mitheral — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:25:50 -0800

Inside an inflated 16.5 spare tire. 16.5s are perfect for this because they don't have a locking bead, deflate the tire and it comes off the rim. Inflation is a might bit harder. Small tubeless tires like those on wheel barrows are often like this as well.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:30:16 -0800

I don't have an valuables to hide, but I wouldn't hesitate to hide them inside a litter box (protected from cats in some way).

By: bartleby

bartleby — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:35:20 -0800

this is a Hiding place, not a Secured hiding place, right?
What you're looking for in that case is commonly called a "diversion safe" = looks like something innocuous/boring ignored when hunting for valuables.
If you have the know-how to cut drywall, or have an installed outlet that has already been dismantled (unused phone jack wall plates work too and don't have the scary-electricity factor), these are nice, especially after being painted over, etc. ->
Outlet Safe.

By: rokusan

rokusan — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:40:59 -0800

I think a "diversion safe" is the big heavy bank-vault style safe you use as an end-table. It contains nothing, and the thieves get hernias trying to drag it out. A nice variation on that might be an old safe door, but nothing else, mounted flush against a wall. That'd be hilarious. In fact, that's such a swell idea that I think I'll put some of these behind EVERY PICTURE hanging in my house.

I've been burgled a few times in a few places, and though I never used it as a hiding place, the toilet tank lid was removed or ajar every single time... so I think that particular "secret" is long out of the bag. Blame Hollywood.

Also, books were all dumped from the bookshelves onto the floor two times. I was offended. I've never had book-safes either, but I admire them.

By: JaredSeth

JaredSeth — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:43:52 -0800

bondcliff's got it if you have an uncomfortable hunk of metal you're looking to hide.

By: paulsc

paulsc — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:46:13 -0800

In my fire resistant gun safe. The one my 60 pound, excitable ex-junkyard dog sleeps in front of, when he sleeps at all. The gun safe stands in the alcove outside my paranoid schizophrenic, ex-Army, brother's bedroom, right under the motion sensor for the wireless burglar alarm. Of course, none of that is what I think of as primary security, so WCityMike's concerns aren't mine.

I live in Florida, a castle doctrine state and the origin of Stand Your Ground. Come on down!

By: mygothlaundry

mygothlaundry — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:47:33 -0800

Sewn into a stuffed animal thrown in a kids' room with a bunch of other stuffed animals. Actually I've never done this, but I know people who have. I think a big laundry basket full of old T-shirts works well, as does inside a ziplock bag inside the opened bag of corn in the freezer or down inside the flour.

By: dobbs

dobbs — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:48:51 -0800

Buy two identical kitty litter trays that stack. Put the valuables in the bottom one and the litter in the top one. If they're the kind with a rim/lip, cut it off the bottom one so that it's better hidden by the lip/rim of the top one. If you wanna get old-school, crack the lip of the top one and then tape it up with duct-tape while surreptitiously taping the two trays together.

By: dobbs

dobbs — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:54:20 -0800

Oh, another place is taped to the underside of the drawer in the bottom of the stove. I think thieves often check the underside of dresser drawers but dunno about stove ones.

By: nasreddin

nasreddin — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:58:18 -0800

I once kept $300 in Chapter 3 of Das Kapital ("Money, or the Circulation of Commodities").

By: UrineSoakedRube

UrineSoakedRube — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:59:47 -0800

According to the star of Burn Notice, you should go with the inside of your walls. Not a very realistic proposal, but now you know what an actor who plays an ex-CIA agent thinks.

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:02:12 -0800

It Takes a Thief has been replaying on the Discovery Channel for the past few weeks. On the show, most of the burgled family's super secret hiding places are found pretty quickly, including ovens, bottom of the hamper, beneath mattresses, and so on.

The only one I saw that was successful was a hidden panel in a bedframe.

By: vkxmai

vkxmai — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:09:50 -0800

Along with exposed brick, my 1970s-era apartment also has a lot of masonite paneling. I obtained a matching length of it and installed it on the inside top of the closet, which has masonite paneling facing out but nothing behind it inside the closet.

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:12:43 -0800

[Enough with the jokes. Answer the question, please.]

By: timepiece

timepiece — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:21:33 -0800

I read a whole book on real burglars, and the best advice therein was to throw them something to make them think they'd hit the jackpot - meaning they'd think that was it and leave.

Decide what NOT having your entire living space tossed/destroyed would be worth to you - leave the cash equivalent in a money clip near the front door/on your dresser, as if you forgot it. Depending on your neighborhood and what they might hope to get, this might be $100, or it might be $500.

Meanwhile, hide everything else in the walls. The book also pointed out that most people tend to hide things in personal areas (i.e., bedrooms), so those get searched more thoroughly. Hide stuff in the garage, or the laundry room.

By: timepiece

timepiece — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:47:20 -0800

I do think the tampon/other feminine products box was genius, as are the kitty litter suggestions (saw that used in a book once, but I can't remember where). Also - at the bottom of the kitchen trash can, under the bag (but only if there's trash in it).

By: Mrs. Buck Turgidson

Mrs. Buck Turgidson — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:54:41 -0800

Behind the fridge.

By: yohko

yohko — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:57:55 -0800

The toilet tank and in the freezer have been in movies, thus are not good hiding places. In some area burglars will look in the freezer for meat to take.

What you need to keep in mind is that burglars will search your house in a quick and destructive way. The book you think is well hidden amongst other books may not be after someone shoves the entire bookcase over.

Of course it would be foolish to post a hiding spot one uses on a public forum, but here are a few ideas. You could hide things in the crawl space, burglars don´t usually venture into that area. Buy a large heavy worthless electronic thing and hide stuff in there. Reupholster your couch with valuables hidden inside.

You might also want to let any heirs you have know about where these valuables are. I think the serial numbers on that money were recorded though. You might leave the story of what happened after you parachuted out of the plane for them to publish posthumously. I´ll buy a copy.

By: what-i-found

what-i-found — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:06:49 -0800

I heard about hiding cash rolled up inside a closet rod.

By: junesix

junesix — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:11:44 -0800

In the toilet tank in a waterproof container.
Read this 2-part interview with a burglar. The toilet tank is one of the first places they look because homeowners think a burglar wouldn't look there.

Places like picture frames and kitty litter boxes don't work well because burglars are going to grab anything of value and trashing the place as they go. So the painting along with the money will be stolen to be sold and the money in the kitty litter is going to be found as soon as they kick it over. Same goes for laundry hampers. They're also going to run their hands along every dark nook, cranny, and undersurface.

Most burglars are crack addicts looking to grab anything of value as quickly as possible, not international jewel thieves. So anyplace that would be tedious to dig through, completely out of the way, and of no value would be ideal. Consider the bottom of a bag of heavy snow chains beneath all the junk in the garage or in a stuffed kids toy among discarded toys like mygothlaundry suggested.

By: donovan

donovan — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:30:29 -0800

Have used the hollowed out book method, which I think works if you have lots of books.

A true story of successfully hiding other types of "valuables" . . . a friend of a friend works as a pro domme and would often travel with a fairly expensive set of gear (which I'll leave to your imagination). After having had gear pilfered from her checked luggage, she resorted to this trick: before leaving, gear was placed in a bag marked "dirty" and latex toys sprinkled with some powdered chocolate pudding mix were placed on top as the first thing one would find if they opened the bag. Nothing ever went missing from her luggage again!

By: spamguy

spamguy — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:35:56 -0800

My old, antique dresser has a false back. There's nothing in it now but I used to keep money in there as a kid when $100 meant more.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:56:38 -0800

It worked for hiding my "friend's" pornography from his parents, so why not try hiding valuables in a roleplaying game box (like Battletech).

By: Lyn Never

Lyn Never — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:51:37 -0800

When I travel, I keep some of my spare cash and a photocopy of my documents in a tampon box. I guess a pregnancy test, box of hair dye, or other insignificant boxed bathroom supply could work at home.

Behind or beneath a heavy appliance, especially one that can't easily be tipped over in the available space (like in a tight laundry room).

DO tell someone if you've got stash spots. After my grandmother's death, we had to inspect every aerosol can in the house to see if it was actually one of those safes, and jewelry and cash was tucked away all over the place.

By: Redhush

Redhush — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:46:15 -0800

the underside of formica counter tops is dark, hard to look up into, and nearly the same color as a manila envelope. plus noone's going to tip your cabinets over since they're screwed to the wall. just don't forget it's there come remodeling time, or some subcontractor's gonna get a nice involuntary tip

By: theora55

theora55 — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:51:22 -0800

Don't keep cash; keep traveler's checks. They still don't collect interest but they can be replaced.

I've used the hollowed out book in a business, and it worked; they took the loose and rolled change from the cash drawer, but the deposit was in a book, and was safe. My sense of security was not intact.

If there's space under the kitchen counter, behind a drawer, you could attach a small container there - it's dark.

By: Zeker

Zeker — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:05:55 -0800

There's nothing like a safe to keep your money in. A friend of mine, however, made good use of his rottweiler during high school. He attached spare house keys behind the dog's ID in the collar. You could hardly notice them there, and even if you did you'd have a hell of a time getting them.

By: Bella Sebastian

Bella Sebastian — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:34:08 -0800

Unscrew the cover of an air vent and hide stuff up there. Just don't forget it come moving time.

By: krippledkonscious

krippledkonscious — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:38:30 -0800

I used to stash stuff inside disemboweled VHS tapes. I'd take out the actual magnetic tape to make space, but leave the reels in (if they were visible through the window). The fact that VHS tapes are almost obsolete might actually improve the security - my 18-year old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles VHS must be even more repulsive than ever in the age of DVD/Blu-Ray.

By: Fiasco da Gama

Fiasco da Gama — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:45:42 -0800

Spoilers:
If I recall it correctly, the end of Maclean's novel Ice Station Zebra hinged on a hidden pistol in the fuel tank of a tractor in the Arctic. It was safe and undamaged for the climactic scene because unlike the rest of the base, the petrol didn't freeze up.
There was also Asimov's short story where a murder was discovered because one of the scientist-suspects hid a piece of undeveloped film with a latent image outside on a moonbase, without thinking that the sunrise would expose it.
Long time since I've read either though.

By: arcticseal

arcticseal — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:23:31 -0800

Kitty litter as a safe was used in "The Matlock Paper" by Robert Ludlum.

For my personal goodies, I like bank safety deposit boxes and offsite backups.

By: storybored

storybored — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:57:54 -0800

I remember a gov't official was busted for corruption not too long ago and the FBI found his money quite easily.....in the freezer.

By: astrochimp

astrochimp — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:02:58 -0800

I once hid $100 as a teenager inside an old-ish computer case (one obviously not worth stealing).

Unfortunately, it was hidden so well that I promptly forgot about it. Fortunately, I felt like I'd won $100 once I discovered my overly-ingenious hiding place. Good thing I was a tinkerer and prefer dismembering old computers than simply throwing them out.

By: jpdoane

jpdoane — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:09:39 -0800

In a safe deposit box at the bank.
Not ingenious, but indubitably safe.

Unless you happen to live near a river

By: peeedro

peeedro — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:46:26 -0800

When my apartment was broken into every obvious container was searched; every drawer, hamper, shelf, storage container, the dryer, the freezer, were emptied onto the floor and inspected. A burglar will go through your medicine cabinet (prescription and otc drugs can be resold), so I'm not sure the tampon container is a good idea. I would not hide something in a book or under clothes or food. When I was broken into, they took cash, jewelry, leftover pasta, and toiletries (deodorant, clean underwear, and makeup). If you want to hide personal things, do not put them in or under other personal belongings.

If I had something small and of great value to hide, I would put it in a light fixture. There are usually two or three screws to pull out to get into the junction box in the wall or ceiling. No thief would take a light off the wall, especially if he needs the light to look into other more obvious hiding places. (And please don't start a fire or electrocute yourself doing this.)

In my current place we have a trap door into the crawlspace hidden under some rugs in the bathroom floor. If I wanted to hide something I'd make a shelf on the side of one of the floor joists within arm's reach. It has the advantage of being out of sight as well as something that deters people from searching for because of the heebie-jeebie factor of sticking you arm in a dark and damp hole that possibly contains spiders and snakes and ghosts. Or if you have a sump pump, put a waterproof bag in your sump pit instead of the toilet tank.

By: wingless_angel

wingless_angel — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 04:48:05 -0800

As timepiece says, I also tend to leave a bit of cash in my top drawer as a deterrant to trashing the rest of the house. I will also leave out an old spare laptop and other things that I wouldn't mind losing as much as my main computer.

I sometimes leave spare sets of keys at work, unlabelled so it's not clear what they are for.

Earlier this year I had to take out a lot of money to pay for a rental deposit in cash. I was staying in a hotel at the time and it was extremely difficult to find a hiding place there. The hair colour or tampon box suggestion sounds like a good one for those situations.

Agree that it is important to tell others what you have done - I know of people who have hidden their wills and other documents, but sent letters to relatives with instructions on finding it.

By: oxford blue

oxford blue — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:14:39 -0800

Unscrew the cover of an air vent and hide stuff up there. Just don't forget it come moving time.
posted by Bella Sebastian at 10:34 AM on July 22 [+] [!]

No Country for Old Men, anyone? The Doctor would suggest a location one second out of sync with reality, but that might be a bit hard.

It really depends on time and the particular item. You could hide something really well, but if they have enough time/motivation they'll find it. So don't hide anything truly valuable or irreplaceable. Put those sort of things in a deposit box, as suggested.

If you have time, and a spare person to help you, try out a few different ideas; hide a ring in the frozen peas, and give your friend 30 minutes (or whatever the average time for a robbery is) to find it. Look at where he looks, where he doesn't, what fools him, what doesn't, and adjust based on the results. Then, swap roles (they hide, you find) and rinse and repeat.

As the old saying goes don't lump all your eggs together in one basket; hide a few items in one place, and a few others in a completely different location. Sometimes you can hide things in plain sight, as well.

My current hiding place is the between a slide in shelf and the wall of my wardrobe. There's a little gap where I can keep a few flat things (like a key).

By: abdulf

abdulf — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:00:44 -0800

If you have a carpet floor, you can hide documents under the padding.

Hiding things behind light switches, electrical outlets and ceiling fan motors works well too because checking every fixture is time consuming.

If you have live in a house you can put it up your chimney.

By: fogster

fogster — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 08:47:26 -0800

Haven't done it yet, and haven't been robbed, but I've always wanted to pick up an old safe and use it as a decoy. Keep it empty (or full of junk) and locked, and put it in a closet. I'd always hoped that they'd think they'd hit the jackpot, spend a while hauling it out the door, and take off.

And I hope they don't come burn my house down when they realize it was empty.

By: Emintx

Emintx — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:50:51 -0800

I like to store things in my doghouse. It smells rather funky and with the roof shape, it is great for holding/storing stuff that won't be hurt by the outdoor heat. I like the idea of leaving decoys out to be found. I have a few old crappy broken laptops that would be great stacked up for this very purpose. A spare key can be sewn to the skin-side of the dog's collar.

Hhhmmmm... I wonder if it would be worth it to pack my old computer case with bricks as a decoy, too. That would be funny to put in a police report.