How can I stop my brother's drug habits?
July 13, 2008 3:02 PM Subscribe
How can I confront my brother on his (illegal) drug habits in a way that will make him actually change them; and not just hide his habits from me/lose his trust in me.
posted by anonymous to human relations (19 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I am 21 and my little brother is 17. My parents have been divorced since I was 16 and he was 12. I was little affected by it as it was all in all a good thing from my point of view (my parents fought every time they were in the same room as long as I can remember). After the divorce my brother moved in with our mom and I with our dad, but while I could drive and see whomever I wanted, he was confined to my mom's house and saw our very busy dad very very little.
Now that he is 17 and has grown up with practically no father figure in his life, he spends 90% of his time with his friends, and the rest of his time working out or at school. The problem is this- all of his friends and him are very habitual drug users, this includes coke, ecstasy, shrooms, acid, and of course lots and lots of alcohol. I know this because I used to do drugs on occasion (not anymore since seeing a lot of friends go down dark paths), and we used to talk about what we'd do. I was never habitual about any of it- I run a small business, go to school, get my work done, and have never been in trouble with any authority.
Last month he got a DUI after passing out at the wheel on the freeway and crashing into a sidewall at 3 AM (going 5 MPH with no passengers, but still far too stupid). He blew a .24, and he told me he was on ecstasy at the time as well. This means he will not have his license for a year at least, but he hasn't been to court yet so we're not sure about the final consequences. A week later he was arrested for being drunk underage at a rap concert. He has been looking for a job for forever but has not found one, does not seem to do anything productive with his time, and is still partying all the time with his friends.
My mom has no control over him, nor me, we never quite took her seriously because she yells about almost everything. My dad is good at keeping control but he is remarried and lives about an hour away and doesn't want to deal with my brother, I'm pretty sure he just wants him to turn 18 so he doesn't have to deal with him anymore. My brother is not an idiot, most of his friends are, but he just seems to have a twisted worldview when it comes to goals and authority. I know if I tell him to simply stop doing it I'll just become another authoritative enemy to him. so MeFi- how should I confront him?