We're big and getting busy. How can we get busier?

July 12, 2008 8:12 PM

Sex positions for overweight people? NSFW details inside

A friend and I recently began having sex, but have run into a problem. I'm a man, BTW.

I'm a bit overweight (6 feet, 225). She is obese (5'7', 200).

I tried missionary, but my penis had problems staying inside her, since I couldn't get it all the way in. After a bit of trying, I was able to climax.

I'm wondering what sorts of positions people like us can use for maximum pleasure.

Thanks!

posted by anonymous to human relations (10 answers total)

Doggy style.
posted by All.star at 8:18 PM on July 12, 2008

All.star's on it. Rear entry is probably your best bet. Lying on your side might also work out.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 8:26 PM on July 12, 2008

Girl on top "cowgirl" style works quite well also.
posted by Captain_Science at 8:30 PM on July 12, 2008

A google search for "overweight sex positions" turns up a lot of results on that subject (and more and more). It's a common concern, and there are a lot of webpages discussing this issue.
posted by Forktine at 8:33 PM on July 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

There's a great book called Big Big Love by Hanne Blank, which is now sadly out of print. But it's a great resource, and it's worth tracking down (maybe via your library). Hanne also has a website.

I can say from personal experience this is usually a winner: woman on her back with legs spread, man kneeling between her legs and penetrating. It may work best with a pillow under her butt to better line everything up. This is a very accommodating position because it keeps bellies out of the way, and both of you have easy access her clit and breasts. It's also great because you are face to face.

Doggie style is also pretty good, although it may take some practice to get the trajectory right, especially with your height differential. Again, make use up pillow as props (under her knees, or stacked under her belly). It might also work better if she kneels on the edge of the bed (depending on the height of the bed), and you stand behind her. Also be aware that you can penetrate deeper this way... so take it slowly.

Having her on top might also be good (straddling you, facing forward).

Also... have fun and laugh a lot. It can be awkward and silly, but just keep trying new and different things and you will find what works.
posted by kimdog at 8:37 PM on July 12, 2008

Hmm. My wife an I are in the ballpark of the dimensions you mention, and we have no problems with the missionary position. The only thing that is tough for us is doggy style or anything standing up, as I am taller than you and she is shorter than your ladyfriend. Perhaps you each just need to work on adjusting the angles of your hips/pelvises to find a combination that works for you? I also think kimdog's advice to "have fun and laugh a lot" is absolutely wonderful. Don't make it a stressful or embarrassing situation, but rather a game and an experiment.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:47 PM on July 12, 2008

Also... have fun and laugh a lot. there best advice there is.....
posted by digital-dragonfly at 9:29 PM on July 12, 2008

Don't limit yourselves to intercourse. She's got two hands and mouth, and so do you.
posted by orthogonality at 1:17 AM on July 13, 2008

You might find some wedge-shaped foam cushions helpful. Also seconding side-by-side rear entry as a lovely lazy position.
posted by happyturtle at 2:07 AM on July 13, 2008

"woman on her back with legs spread, man kneeling between her legs and penetrating"

Dude, fat, schmat, this position is awesome for any couple.
posted by kate blank at 4:22 AM on July 13, 2008 [1 favorite]