Is my girlfriend too needy, or is this normal for some people?
July 11, 2008 4:51 PM Subscribe
My girlfriend gets very sad whenever I leave for a day or two. We have been going out for many years. Is this normal? Does she need help? What can I do? Does she need friends?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (37 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I live with my girlfriend who is getting her PhD. She has her preliminary exam coming up which she must pass in order to get her PhD. My mom's birthday is close to her exam date and she insists that if I go visit my mom for a day (in another city), it will disrupt her studying and cause "instability" in her life. She is extremely emphatic about this subject of me being away for a day at a time. I am usually away for two days one night every week for work, and she says that every time it causes "instability" in her life and it affects her greatly.
She does not hang out with friends at all, aside from class/work, I am the only human being she interacts with. She feels like this is ok since I am so important to her, she revolves her life around me. Now, I'm not nearly as commitment adverse as the average guy, but this seems excessive and weird even for a girl. My theory was that it stemmed from her broken family, her parents had a divorce while she was in high school and her older sister just went through a divorce (she acted as a mother figure to her after their parents divorced).
We fought about this for a while. In a moment of weakness I promised her that I would not visit my mom for her birthday until after her exam. I told my mom and she said that was as ridiculous as I thought it was. Is this a known condition or is it just a type of girl or both?
I also get this feeling that her sister agrees with her and/or is like her. Same with her mom.