I'm looking for a quiet and discreet place where awesome people gather.

July 8, 2008 6:24 PM

Where can I anonymously complain on the internets?

Not just complain. I would like to become part of a web community where I can actually talk frankly about my work, life, conundra and so on and give support to others doing the same, but I'd like to be more frank and open than I can be in such a public place as MetaFilter. I don't want people, if they identify me, to feel like shopping me to the newspapers or my online enemies.

This question might sound a bit counter-intuitive to be posting anonymously on Ask Metafilter, but I'm looking for somewhere with broader guidelines and less visibility than here.

I'm doing a bunch of high profile shit at the moment and I am totally fraught with mental illness and feel way over my head, plus I have a bunch of practical problems. I want to discuss them in a place with intelligent and absolutely discreet people.

If I get into too much detail on a public forum I fear that who I am will be uncovered, and my frank opinions will fuck my shit up.

I am willing to consider any medium - IRC, websites, freenets, whatever - but I want to hear about where to go to get the privacy and frankness I wish.

Note; I am looking for reasonable people - I define this widely, but I am not looking for a den of sociopaths. More a hidden shangri-la of awesome. I know this is a big ask. ;)

posted by anonymous to human relations (18 comments total)

um, sock puppet account? Also a good thing to do, if you're into it, is to get a throwaway e-mail address and write an account each day to that address. Then, go back and read it at the end of the week.
posted by parmanparman at 6:31 PM on July 8, 2008

I'm not sure this is quite what you're looking for, but there are numerous online support groups you could join that I'm sure all have anonymous forums. Maybe finding a group of people who are going through the same shit as you will help to unfuck it?
posted by phunniemee at 6:32 PM on July 8, 2008

You could make up a semi-related alter-ego to use: instead of being John McCain, you're an anonymous person running for state Senate. Instead of being the head spokesman for Pfizer, you're a lead spokesperson for a telecom company. This way you can vent the issues without fear of being found out.

With what little you give us to go on (I think you were being deliberately vague), I'm inclined to recommend that you consider meeting with a counselor/therapist. They're bound by law, ethics, and by wanting to keep their career, to preserve your confidentiality. I really can't think of many forums where people would want someone to come on and vent.

In terms of privacy, you might look into accessing whatever you use via a proxy server (but be careful what you choose) or via Tor.
posted by fogster at 6:56 PM on July 8, 2008

There may be fora that are specific to your particular situation; there's a library_mofo community on Livejournal for example, for library staff to bitch. Most commenters are anonymous and lock their posts so that only community members can read them. (One commenter did get fired for his postings; he posted frequently and without locking his posts, though.)
posted by Jeanne at 7:02 PM on July 8, 2008

Remember that if your complaints constitute actionable libels (or someone motivated to do something about them *thinks* they do) nobody can guarantee your anonymity.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 7:07 PM on July 8, 2008

Haven't actually used this site, but I happened upon it the other day: Peegly

Described as an online "feeling sharing" site.
posted by ISeemToBeAVerb at 7:23 PM on July 8, 2008

Standard anonymity/security disclaimer: unless you are expert enough to know exactly how secure/anonymous you are and where the tradeoffs are, you aren't, not at all. The internet is a very complicated series of systems, any of which can be accidentally or maliciously compromising your carefully constructed persona.

Actual advice: you won't be able to vent about the things you want to vent about without someone finding out. It's surprisingly easy to identify a person: I don't have a cite but I have heard that a high proportion of the population (of the US) can be uniquely identified by gender, birthdate and zipcode alone, high profile activities will just bring that bar lower. Ephemeral places can be logged without you knowing, permanent place (such as forums) are subject to all manner of intimidation and social engineering attacks against anyone with access, not to mention the bottomless pit of despair that passes for computer security in most online forum applications.

tl;dr: Either do the legwork to establish a truly anonymous blog (buy a laptop for use as your persona and don't ever do anything else with it, use public wifi, generate a random password instead of your dog's birthday) and hope you're discreet enough about your disclosure or give up the technical side and start looking for a therapist/lawyer/doctor.
posted by Skorgu at 7:24 PM on July 8, 2008

I am not sure what you're describing exists, and second the sockpuppet idea. Can you conceal or alter identifying details?

If you just need to vent, I am happy to oblige, as I'm sure many MeFi members would be. Bonus: I am professionally discreet. MeMail me anytime.
posted by prefpara at 7:45 PM on July 8, 2008

How about a discussion board more specific to what's bugging you/your issues right now. There are online support groups for pretty much anything nowadays.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 8:38 PM on July 8, 2008

Do you need to do this online? It seems like.. you want to talk frankly about what you do and who you are, in a way that would make it quite easy to identify you without even doing much searching, but you want to have this discussion online with a bunch of strangers? It seems like you are going to have to rely on their trust because even if you took the time to create a completely untraceable account and such, that would be pointless, as the very nature of what you said would make it easy to tell who you are. Plus, internet forums and IRC chats can be saved and stick around.

Wouldn't it be better to go find a real life support group for people with similar troubles, if there is a mental health one in particular for what troubles you..? Those people you'll meet face to face, of course, but there are privacy rules going in, and there wouldn't be a written record of what you talked about either. Plus, high profile is relative, I bet most average people at a group like this wouldn't be in your field(s) and wouldn't think you were high profile.
The other reason this seems like it might be good is that.. if you're in a web field or medium and have a high profile there.. enough so that your "enemies" are "online enemies".. go offline.
posted by citron at 9:27 PM on July 8, 2008

Stick to IRC chatrooms. Unless someone has your computer bugged, the messages are sent to whoever is in the room when you hit enter and that's it. They won't be logged on a server or show up in a google search. There are plenty of communities out there, and all sorts of illegal shit goes down in IRC rooms more or less undetected. Just be careful who you talk to. Alternately, you could get together with some friends and bitch about work over a beer at a dive bar.
posted by waxboy at 9:34 PM on July 8, 2008

Nowhere.

Just nowhere.

Too much anonymity and masking and you're not truly getting things off your chest and you're unable to form trusting relationships. Too much sharing and you're risking recognition. This is the reason I have never been able to journal online in any satisfying way. On top of that you always, always leave a trail of identifying information.

Get a therapist, or make real-life friends. Honestly, I feel like there's no way to get any real satisfaction out of the scenario and with the limitations you've posed.
posted by loiseau at 10:04 PM on July 8, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I run a site called Anonyblog.

The username and password are on the front page.

Post whatever you want. Be sure to transfer the entry to Anonymous and it will get published.

It doesn't get more anonymous than that...

The community that gathers there is all over the place, from kind people to jerks.
posted by Argyle at 10:05 PM on July 8, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

Look for a small, obscure Livejournal clone or a like-minded, maybe friends-locked Livejournal community (like Jeanne said earlier).
posted by dreamyshade at 10:10 PM on July 8, 2008

Maybe you could use some group counselling.
posted by orange swan at 6:29 AM on July 9, 2008

Metachat.org?

I share your concern about maintaining privacy, but MeCha is full of nice people, and ranting is allowed. Works well when you are warm-n-fuzzy with other ranters. It's not just for ranting/whining/complaining, but it might provide the outlet you seek. Don't worry about naming, you can choose any name; doesn't have to be synced w/ MeFi.
posted by theora55 at 9:24 AM on July 9, 2008

plus, MeCha is fun, and having some fun is often more productive than complaining.
posted by theora55 at 9:25 AM on July 9, 2008

Only a year too late, but I participate in a totally underground forum (not indexed by google, SSL encrypted, completely off the map, on a secret URL that only the initiated know about, no way to register for it without knowing someone on the inside, and even once you're inside you have to gain the community's trust before being allowed in on all of the conversations).

Ping me for an invite.
posted by MesoFilter at 11:40 PM on April 10