Dear Mother, let me share the cover with my lover
July 1, 2008 5:11 PM Subscribe
What is the best way to communicate with my parent regarding my wishes for an upcoming visit from the girlfriend? Specifically, sleeping arrangements...
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (59 answers total)
Soon, my girlfriend of several months will be visiting me at my parents' home for a number of days. Neither myself nor my siblings have ever brought a romantic partner home, not even to watch a movie in a group during high school and certainly not for a stay of several days.
In discussions with my parents regarding this visit, they've brought up the subject of where to let my girlfriend sleep. Their consensus seems to be that I will sleep in a spare room, while she will sleep in mine. When this is mentioned, I either do not comment or say that we'll figure it out upon her arrival.
Their idea is not acceptable to me. I am a senior in college, and my girlfriend has graduated. At the end of this summer, she will be relocating to another continent for several months, so until next year our only convenient opportunities to see each other will be during the summer months.
Prior to leaving college for home, my girlfriend and I spent every night sleeping together in the same bed. To go from this arrangement to one where we will not even be in the same room is extraordinarily frustrating for us both.
Unfortunately, I have no choice but to host in my parents' home. I do not have the financial resources to acquire an apartment, and the unusual schedule of my college makes it difficult to fit into traditional lease and sublease cycles in the first place. I return home rather than remaining at college because it is extremely difficult to obtain summer housing at my school, which with few exceptions does not let students live in housing not owned by campus. (This is not a religious school). While I do intend to visit her at her home (currently also her parents' home), that will not be possible for a number of weeks.
My question (finally!) is this: what is the best way to approach my parents about this situation, and to convince them to take my side? To be clear, my goal is not to be given their blessing to have a week of nudity and wild sex, but simply to sleep together in one bed while clothed in sleepwear. My parents are not conservative, but their own admitted limited experience in relationships other than their own, the lack of history of anything like this from myself or my siblings, and their stated desire to keep us in separate rooms makes me nervous about how I approach this subject.
Any advice from those who have been in similar situation, or from anyone who wishes to provide some suggestions, is greatly appreciated.