Take this Job and Shove It?

June 24, 2008 11:52 PM

I need to complain about my job. Warning: Excruciatingly long.

I've been at my current job for 15 months. When I first accepted this position, I was in my first year of grad school and working in dead-end retail jobs. I was really excited about it because it was entry-level office work doing research. The job offered great benefits, way better pay, and a warm company culture with values like balance and teamwork displayed brightly on their walls.

I eagerly dove in to my work, glad to be doing a job where I could finally help people in a more significant way than just helping them buy new clothes. I got pretty good (and bored) on my first team and was transferred to a different team with more complicated work. I liked the challenge for awhile, but the novelty has definitely worn off.

Now in my final year of graduate school, and within months of beginning my required internship, I think I have outgrown my job and my workplace. I commute 35 minutes each morning to work at a place where I am bored 7-9 hours at a time. I struggle to stay awake.

Meanwhile, the company culture is very different than it was when I started. While I once found my workplace warm, connected, and tolerant, it now seems cold, quiet, and solitary. The coworkers that share my job title are aloof. I go to work, I work by myself all day, and I leave. Most days no one even acknowledges when I come or go.

We don't clock out for lunches or breaks, yet everyone meddles in other people's work and are quick to tell the supervisor if they hink someone is gone too long, or at least if they think someone isn't where they should be. The culture is actually quite sneaky and it bothers me that I can't trust anyone I work with.

When I first started working there, I made a very dear friend with one of my peers. She left for another opportunity out of state but returned periodically to provide extra help as needed.

I was psyched when she returned for good. But when I became upset after a coworker who publicly yelled at me for something she didn't understand, my "friend" told me that she "didn't want to get involved." Our relationship has been at most polite ever since.

I really liked my supervisor and we got along very well for the first 10-11 months or so. But now it seems like the only time I ever hear from her and the team lead, it is criticizing something I've done, asking me what the status is for a certain project, or asking me to allocate more and more personal time for work. Every day I get at least one phone call or email telling me to do more of this or that, or saying, "I'm concerned..."

Last week I was on vacation. Today I get a phone call from my sup saying that I am behind on my individual goals. I've only been back one day! And my work requires other people to pick up the phone when I call for information.

I know I'm not the only one feeling the push from management. As with almost every company, we are pressured to do more and more with less. My work requires a computer and internet connection. Yet our systems are so slow that there is normally at least a 15 second idle time each time I try to switch windows or click on a new tab in IE. My company wants us to spin gold out of straw with a rusty spinning wheel. And the micromanaging! Oh my god I have been in prisons that were less attentive.

I'm feeling really discouraged about this, and it's very draining to me. I don't like thinking about my work when I'm not there anymore. On weekends I try not to think about going back to work Monday morning. Nevertheless, I can't stop thinking about how much I hate going there everyday and trying to pretend everything is okay.

Every day I try to think of how to leave my job. I scour want ads, fill out applications for staffing agencies, and ask friends to keep their eyes peeled. But it's everything I can do to travel so far day in and day out when gas is $4.00 a gallon.

And my once stellar pay is dwarfed in the face of the rising costs of living. Between gas, car insurance, and car maintenance, the monetary cost of driving my car to this job is higher than it is to keep the job. Not to mention the cost of lunch (30 minutes is no time to eat lunch y'all), plus workclothes and shoes...Ugghh.

So there are all these irritating negatives that make me want to leave my job. But at the same time, there are other things I need to think about. At 15 months, this is the longest time I have been employed full-time in a professional setting. If I leave my job, will it look bad on my resume or hinder my chances of finding a good job elsewhere?

Also, I must admit that I have grown a great deal since I began working here. My understanding of workplace professionalism has developed immensely. But I still don't really see it very much on my job or understand why it is so important that I behave according to what I see as arbitrary rules that are of little importance in the grand scheme.

Eight months into the job, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Before I was kind of a loose canon, and this may have alienated me from my peers. But I don't talk impulsively or inappropriately now. Must they still hold it against me?

All in all, I'm still feeling very ambivalent about my job situation. I guess time will tell. Tell me what you think about this situation, and feel free to share your own experiences as well.

posted by mynameismandab to work & money (28 comments total)

Good job venting in the middle of the night, while most of the mods are sleeping.

My feeling? Life's too short to stay at a shitty job.
posted by knave at 11:58 PM on June 24

I'm not sure, but I think the questions are:

If I leave my job, will it look bad on my resume or hinder my chances of finding a good job elsewhere?

and maybe

Eight months into the job, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Before I was kind of a loose canon, and this may have alienated me from my peers. But I don't talk impulsively or inappropriately now. Must they still hold it against me?

In answer to the first question, no. People do it all the time. Considering the rising cost of living you mentioned, however, can you not look for work and find time for interviews while holding down your current job and pay?

In answer to the second, no, they mustn't, but they might for a while. That's just how people operate. If you give them time to get used to the newer you, their past problems with you will be distant memories.
posted by katillathehun at 12:02 AM on June 25

If I leave my job, will it look bad on my resume or hinder my chances of finding a good job elsewhere?

If you're miserable, find another job while you still have this one. For whatever reason, employed candidates are almost always more appealing than unemployed ones.

Your post is confusing, but as far as I can tell, the cost of gas doesn't stop you from applying anywhere, and certainly shouldn't stop you from attending interviews.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:03 AM on June 25

It's a job. They pay you to show up and do various tasks. If the money is not worth it, quit and get a new job but don't magically expect your new job to not require you to do largely exactly the same thing.

Or in other words: no one cares. Especially if you're a low skill worker and easily replaced, which you are if you're still in school. This is why most people have a life outside of work. Also why a lot of people your age frequent bars.

Yes you can get a job that fulfills you and is Doing Good Things. I have one. But you know what? I worked my ASS off for many years to get here and I continue to work my ass off every day. I see setbacks, hostile responses to my much loved initatives and deal with unrealistic expectations and inter personal issues every day. That's life, learn to be good at it. There are no short cuts. Accept that and you'll be eons ahead of most of your peers.
posted by fshgrl at 1:23 AM on June 25 [2 favorites]

As you're probably learning, your post is a little confusing to those outside of your head. Nonetheless, let's try to power through that.

At 15 months, this is the longest time I have been employed full-time in a professional setting. If I leave my job, will it look bad on my resume or hinder my chances of finding a good job elsewhere?

You're still in grad school. No one is going to be looking for extensive/long-term employment history. The required internship is to make sure that you have some real-world experience with your field of study; outside of that, it's all gravy. You are good here.

Also, I must admit that I have grown a great deal since I began working here. My understanding of workplace professionalism has developed immensely.

I've read your entire post, and this seems to be the only positive thing you have to take from your current job. Sounds like your jobs blows - the culture, the people, the work, the fulfillment - and you need to let go of whatever hangup(s) you think you have that are preventing you from walking out.

Today I get a phone call from my sup saying that I am behind on my individual goals.

He's right, but he has no idea why. You are neglecting your individual goals, like being happy at work. You know the right decision here: pull the trigger. Quit this job. Find another. Do what makes you happy. Stop doing things that don't.
posted by littlelebowskiurbanachiever at 1:51 AM on June 25

On behalf of MetaFilter, I give you permission to put in applications for temp agencies and for every job that even vaguely interests you (especially jobs you can walk or take a bus to), to use up your sick leave attending interviews, and to print out your resume a few dozen times on the work printer.

glad to be doing a job where I could finally help people in a more significant way than just helping them buy new clothes.
Outside of some very narrow areas of office work, most people will be made much happier by a set of new clothes than by anything an office admin worker will ever do for them.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 1:59 AM on June 25 [2 favorites]

Lets go with the clarification as katillathehun spells out unless the OP disagrees.
posted by vacapinta at 2:04 AM on June 25

I really hope your posted question stands, mainly because I hate people responding to someone asking for help by telling them their question is wrongly formatted. You're having trouble with people being aloof at your workplace, and the last thing you need is a "GYOB!".

In my last workplace, the office was riddled by politics. An environment that should have been genial was lonely and isolating. The head of the dept basically played people off against each other and had a small group of people he was very close to to help manage everyone. There were two people there who took different positions on what to do. one faught the system, and one left.

The guy who stayed and faught is still basically unhappy. They work with people who are either opposed to them, or who, like your friend, don't want to get involved, and probably distance themselves from him. He faught for certain rights at work which he was totally entitled to. If there were other people there like him, he'd be very popular, but there aren't.

The woman who left, found herself in a workplace without such pettiness, and loves her new job.

Its up to you to decide if these people are worth approaching and trying to build bridges with. Only you know them well enough to decide if they're good people who've allowed a bad situation to develop, or if they're just not very interesting people. You mentioned that you've been in prison. There are some people in research and academia who will find that interesting. They'll want to get to know someone with a life they've probably never experienced. There are some people thouigh, who will want to remain above you and think that this confirms all their suspicions about you. Another friend of mine, hasn't been to prison, but certainly comes from the more "common" part of town. she meets people who straight off the bat can't stand her. "you're good with people", she gets told as if its a bad thing, or as if thats all she's good at.

Sometimes, a job and a workplace should be really good, but isn't. There's not much you can do unless you can change the entire staff. Seems like you're already looking to move on. If you get a chance that looks good. go for it.
posted by galactain at 2:34 AM on June 25

If you receive phone calls or emails from your supervisor where they state they are "concerned" with your performance, you had better figure out how to make them happy or start looking for a new job, real fast.

Productivity is only part of the battle at work. You also have to be productive at things your supervisors care about. You also need to develop the interpersonal skills to make your supervisor happy. You could do the work of ten people or whatever and it does not mean a thing if you rub your boss or your coworkers the wrong way.

It's just the way it is. This will not be the last time in your career you will encounter this sort of work situation with crappy culture and office politics.
posted by KokuRyu at 3:44 AM on June 25

At 15 months, this is the longest time I have been employed full-time in a professional setting. If I leave my job, will it look bad on my resume or hinder my chances of finding a good job elsewhere?

No. This will not damage you future prospects.

KokuRyu is right, sounds like you're starting to slip anyway, or your "attitude" has been noticed (if you have an attitude)

Clearly time to start casting around for another job. So be positive about the fact that you don't have to stay where you are, and the more steps you take to leave the place the better you will feel.

Is public transport an option where you live?

30 minutes is enough time for lunch, and is quite standard in the workplace. If you want more time for lunch, make it yourself the night before- go sit in the park or take a walk for 30 minutes or read a book.

Good luck
posted by mattoxic at 5:41 AM on June 25

You should leave this job as soon as possible. You have ill feelings towards it and your coworkers that are festering and will probably only get worse. Better to get out while things are civil.
posted by a3matrix at 6:07 AM on June 25

Welcome to Corporate America. I see you're enjoying your gift basket of bullshit office politics and underappreciation. I hope you enjoy your stay.

90% of people work just hard enough to not get fired for just enough money not to quit.
/Carlin
posted by Debaser626 at 6:20 AM on June 25 [2 favorites]

You're really, really overthinking the fact that you'll probably want to move on to another job once you're done with grad school this year.
posted by availablelight at 6:34 AM on June 25

I'll bite, even though I flagged you. One of the strangest things to first learn is that jobs change. The people, the culture, the work itself. Nothing stays as it was. It sounds like you're having a hard time reconciling what was once a great job with what you are currently facing. You can leave whenever you want. 15 months is enough time, particularly if you are still in grad school.

Other than that, you sound whiny and naive. I mean, nothing you wrote is really out of the ordinary. I commute 35 minutes to work, have worked with jerks, have worked with jerky bosses, haven't had enough money for stuff, have gotten yelled at, have been asked to create miracles, haven't had access to the technology I needed, etc. I mean, these things are not unique to you, even though it feels that way. And your friend was right to stay out of it. The office is not a playground where your friend stands up to the bully for you. You fight your own battles and your friend is there to support you.

And my once stellar pay is dwarfed in the face of the rising costs of living. Between gas, car insurance, and car maintenance, the monetary cost of driving my car to this job is higher than it is to keep the job. Not to mention the cost of lunch (30 minutes is no time to eat lunch y'all), plus workclothes and shoes...Ugghh.

Hi. Welcome to the real world. Unfortunately you are not any different from the billions of other working folks. And FWIW, 30 minutes is enough, especially if you are bringing (thus also reducing lunch costs).

Is it possible that you are not a people person? I mean, for someone in a career path such as yours, I would sort of expect that you'd be able to use your education to help you navigate the interpersonal challenges in the workplace. You seem to strongly dislike dealing with people (hated retail [customer-facing], hate the interpersonal crap in your current job, alienated yourself from your peers, got mad at your friend for not doing what you expected, etc) and things are not always hunky-dory when it comes to that. You don't seem to react well when things aren't going your way people-wise. In your line of work (or any for that matter), people will not act as you want them or tell them to act. Just something to think about.
posted by ml98tu at 7:08 AM on June 25 [1 favorite]

Hey thanks to everyone who has responded to my post. I think you're right that it isn't exactly clear and concise. In some ways, I think I left it intentionally vague.

Mostly though I was just needing to rant anonymously about my job dissatisfaction to a group of anonymous peers. I wasn't sure if I should take it to MetaTalk, so I figured I would put it up here and see what happened.

Alot of what I wrote was an attempt to capture some intangible aspects of my job, like the dying optimism that used to excite me so much at first. We talk a good game about teamwork, but I detect very little team spirit in my office. People are tired, stressed, chronically fatigued, unappreciated, with inadequate tools to do the job in a timely manner, yet are still expected to crank out projects like a donut factory.

When I was explaining the individual goals issue, the point I was trying to convey is that I had barely warmed my seat and already they are on my case about something that they couldn't possibly have updated information about.

In the work I do we have to call various people and organizations for specific information not available online. As it is summer, and since people are people, we often are not able to speak with someone on first attempt at contact. The more time we spend trying to get ahold of people, the longer it takes for our work to be complete.

As one of the posters said, I might have sounded whiny and naive. I am okay with that. I have slowly become more and more unhappy at work and needed a channel to release the immense stress that I feel every time I think about how my job (which as you can tell is often). And I am thankful for the feedback from those people in the Real World who tell me not what I want to hear, but what I need to hear.

I appreciate your input and am talking things over with my fiance to sort out how our budget would change if I left.
posted by mynameismandab at 8:00 AM on June 25

The thing about entry-level jobs? They're entry-level. You're supposed to leave them pretty quickly and move on to bigger and better things.

Get on with it.
posted by ook at 8:01 AM on June 25

Thirty minutes for lunch? I like lunch, its my favourite meal of the day. Lately I've been averaging 30 mins but I would chafe at being limited to 30 mins. Don't people need time to think or do errands? Find a new job where you can take a decent lunch.
posted by captaincrouton at 8:17 AM on June 25

A job is a job. Build your experiences and resume' from each one....spin it positively and you don't need to worry about the length of employment as much. You've got plenty of time to find the kind of job that you enjoy.
posted by samsara at 8:30 AM on June 25

Find another job and get outta there. It sounds as if they've begun being unhappy with you/your work, you've begun being unhappy with the job/workplace, and once anyone's gotten into that mindset, it's very difficult to get people to change their minds.

And 15 months? It's not nothing. Don't worry about how it looks and focus on your own happiness.

(Though FWIW I have to nth the other posters saying your situation is fairly normal. If you can't take it, though, and you're unhappy, and your bosses are noticing, it may be best to try something different.)
posted by alpha_betty at 8:34 AM on June 25

Mostly though I was just needing to rant anonymously about my job dissatisfaction to a group of anonymous peers. I wasn't sure if I should take it to MetaTalk, so I figured I would put it up here and see what happened.

Honestly, it's really not appropriate in either place. We've let this stand on the good faith assumption that you were motivated by a question and got carried away with the ranting, not ranting and propping it up with some questions to keep up appearances.

Please don't do this sort of thing again.
posted by cortex at 9:11 AM on June 25

I wasn't sure if I should take it to MetaTalk, so I figured I would put it up here and see what happened.

Do you mean metachat.org?
posted by availablelight at 9:57 AM on June 25

My understanding of workplace professionalism has developed immensely. But I still don't really see it very much on my job or understand why it is so important that I behave according to what I see as arbitrary rules that are of little importance in the grand scheme.

You're saying to me that you have been unprofessional at this position, and you feel like everyone is cold to you, that they over-supervise you and are always on your back, you don't feel like you need to "behave" so you probably have a bit of an attitude.

To me, it seems like you're on the chopping block. They're looking for an excuse to get rid of you. So look out for that and toe the line until you find something else, eh?
posted by sondrialiac at 10:15 AM on June 25

I was psyched when she returned for good. But when I became upset after a coworker who publicly yelled at me for something she didn't understand, my "friend" told me that she "didn't want to get involved." Our relationship has been at most polite ever since.
W
hat was she supposed to do? Defend your honor in a duel?

Dial down the drama a little bit next time.

Us vs. Them in the workplace will leave you very, very alone. Most people, given the choice between you and their job, will pick their job. Don't make them choose.
posted by sondrialiac at 10:19 AM on June 25

I didn't expect the friend to do anything but listen. That's all I wanted. I guess that was expecting too much.

Chalk it up to experience. Lesson learned. Over and out.
posted by mynameismandab at 4:15 PM on June 25

Mostly though I was just needing to rant anonymously about my job dissatisfaction to a group of anonymous peers

ah but I don't think we are your peers, I think the folks on metafilter are more the peers of your boss, or maybe her boss. That combined with the fact it's intern season and I, for one, am wondering how many whiny-ass students I can stuff into the supply closet and still lock the door probably explains the lack of sympathy.

Number one rule of complaining about your boss: pick your audience wisely.
posted by fshgrl at 5:57 PM on June 25

Okay one last thing, then I'll never do a post like this ever again:

I am really thankful to Everyone who responded to me. Even though you might think I just wanted sympathy, I am also a big fan of the reality check.

My parents both grew up really poor in a rust belt town. Not just poor--lard-sandwiches-for-lunch and stealing-milk poor. My dad worked in a factory for 35 years and my mom worked odd jobs. Now they both work for a bus company.

Coming from a family with a poverty legacy, I am not personally acquainted with anyone of the managerial class. I have made every professional connection and acquaintance myself. With that information, an admission: there are a lot of things about working in an office environment that I do not understand--no one in my family has worked in an office. The rules of the labor class are different than the rule of the educated and managing class.

I find myself stretched tenuously between these two worlds. On the one hand, I am an educated person with a high IQ who knows that I can do whatever I want to. On the other hand, I carry around with me the pride and history of a family with different social norms and ways of conducting oneself.

I have found adapting to the world of the managing class extremely difficult. I feel like I'm in a foreign country where everyone expects me to behave a certain why but nobody explains why. I don't speak the language and I can't talk openly at work about what's really going on. It's like everyone wants to pretend class differences don't exist and don't matter, but they do. And it's really hard trying to adapt to someone else's culture with no guidance or support.

So it is refreshing to get input from the other side. I am always open to seeing things from another perspective.
posted by mynameismandab at 7:28 PM on June 26

Thanks for posting this update--it really puts things in perspective. I am from a similar background and sometimes have difficulty with the same things.

I was trying to make a point above but perhaps made it too harshly.

You were trying to say "please listen to me, I need a friend to talk to" but she (and I) heard you say "I want to get you actively involved in a conflict by gaining your sympathy". But she didn't want to get involved in that kind of conflict--especially not with the kind of person who would scream at you! If you acted coldly to her after that incident, it confirmed her belief that you tend to be dramatic and aren't interested in keeping things cordial in the office. Rather, you have a list of people who are for you or against you, and act accordingly. This doesn't have to be the truth for people to see you that way. What you might consider normal within a friendship is not necessarily what others consider normal.

As I learned the hard way in college, people often have people who they consider friends, but they don't have real loyalty to them. Friendship means something lighter and more fluid, and they generally have a lot of "friends" who they don't really feel loyalty for. They're just people whose company they enjoy, and would help if they were in trouble. But they don't have the same bond with them. It's confusing.

This brings me back office politics in general. Your friend might have had experience with a super-negative office clique. These cliques are usually made up of people who spend a good deal of time whining about work, whining about the boss and coworkers, gossiping in a mean way, snubbing people who they don't like, forcing people to choose sides in petty personal vendettas, and generally poisoning the professional atmosphere.

She has probably learned the hard way to avoid these kind of people like the plague. You spooked her, and she wanted to let you know that she would not participate in the kind poisonous bullshit I described above. She didn't mean to alienate you completely, she just wanted to set the boundaries of the relationship because complaining about people in the office makes her really uncomfortable.

That doesn't mean you're a psycho office gossip. However, perhaps you can see this from her perspective and forgive her a little bit for what was probably a miscommunication.

You might want to think about not complaining about the office while you're at the office, just to be safe and keep your coworkers from seeing you as a source of drama and difficulty. Yeah, I know, no one outside of work knows how frustrating it is when the office manager gives you the silent treatment.

Hope this made sense. You'll learn and do better as you get acculturated. Class and background matter so, so much, Don't beat yourself up if you take a while to learn.

Good luck!
posted by sondrialiac at 5:56 AM on June 27

Thirty minutes for lunch? I like lunch, its my favourite meal of the day. Lately I've been averaging 30 mins but I would chafe at being limited to 30 mins. Don't people need time to think or do errands? Find a new job where you can take a decent lunch.

Since leaving teaching about six years ago and taking up a career that involves a lot of "relationship management" (and a lot of expectations about productivity), I haven't had a job where they tell you how long you can take lunch. And the thing is, I have so much stuff to do, I don't really LIKE taking lunch. I keep working.

If I do take lunch, I make the most use of that time possible. I try to have lunch with old connections, new connections or people I work with (spending time with, and getting to know people, are crucial for success in any field).

But on the odd time I've spent lunch hour in the bookstore or even taking a walk, I've always felt lousy about not making better use of the time.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is job survival and ultimately job satisfaction is a lot like planting and tending to a garden. The more time, work and energy you invest into it each and every day for the eight or so hours you are there, the more satisfaction you will get.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:40 PM on June 30