The Ethics of Jumping Ship

June 11, 2008 1:48 PM

Do I tell my boss about a possible job change before or after my 2-week vacation?

Career etiquette question: I have been approached by a company I would love to work for. It's not a done deal, but I have another meeting with them the day before I leave for a two-week overseas vacation, and won't have face time with my boss between that meeting and my return. My direct boss is awesome and deserves a heads up, but I'm not sure if I should mention it before it's a done deal.

If I did tell him before I left for vacation, that would obviously give him more time to search for my replacement, but since it's not a "done deal", I'm reticent. I don't want to look like I took vacation and then came back only to leave him high and dry either. Any ideas? My throwaway is [e-mail] . Thanks!

posted by anonymous to work & money (10 comments total)

Can you ask for a two week delayed start date after your vacation if you get the job? This way, you get to go on vacation and you give your current employer two proper weeks notice. If you frame the fact that you want to leave in good standing correctly with the new employer they should be ok with that, right?
posted by Burhanistan at 1:55 PM on June 11, 2008

but I'm not sure if I should mention it before it's a done deal.

You shouldn't, because even if things look absolutely 100% solid, there's a possibility it could fall through at the last minute. If you say "I'm leaving" and then that ends up not happening, things could be awkward.

If you're really concerned about your (soon to be) former workplace, try negotiating a later start date with the new gig to give a little more time to find a replacement.
posted by Nelsormensch at 1:56 PM on June 11, 2008

If it's not a done deal it's not a done deal.

Even if it were, there's nothing wrong with taking two weeks off to think about a career move. People do this all the time.

Whatever you do, DO NOT give notice until you have a written offer from the other company.
posted by thomas144 at 1:58 PM on June 11, 2008

I would say it depends on your relationship with your boss and the standards of your field. In my field, it is expected that if you have a good, mentor-type relationship with your boss, you will let them know when you start looking for another job. In return, they're supposed to help you with leads, references, etc. This is not about an official notice, more like a professional courtesy.

Some fields are much more formal, and some bosses you just would not want to tell until you had an offer letter in hand.

For instance, at my last job, I had two bosses, the president and the director. I told the director (who was a great boss, tried to be a mentor) that I was applying for things and he promised to help any way he could. The president was crazy and unpredictable, and so I did not tell her until I had an offer and was quitting.

If you do decide to tell your boss, I would lean towards doing it in a less-formal way. Instead of saying "I wanted to give you time to find someone else," frame it like you want his/her opinion. That's how I did it with my director. This allows your boss to save some face, and also might yield some information you might not have (as far as the other company's reputation, etc).
posted by lunasol at 2:32 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oh, and i'll second what the others have said. Don't do anything nearing official without an offer in hand. I've had situations where I was all but certain I would get an offer, and it fell through.
posted by lunasol at 2:45 PM on June 11, 2008

If you do have a concrete offer, I'd at least give your boss a phone call while you're away (or i transit) or something so he gets a heads up.
posted by wangarific at 3:39 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wait until you return and have your offer in hand, then notify your boss and give proper notice, and explain that you didn't give them a heads-up before your vacation because the offer wasn't solid, and because you wanted to make your decision while on vacation so that you could have some non-working time to think the whole thing through. A few words on it being a tough decision and that you didn't want to say anything prematurely as you didn't want to worry them while you were gone would be nice as well.
posted by davejay at 5:54 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm in a similar position myself, and would love to see what you come up with in this. Here's my take:

Definitely wait until after your vacation. It's not that I don't trust Daddy Warbucks, but your boss would probably have to be crazy to pay for you for not working all the while knowing that you are intending on leaving in less than a month anyway. Especially if there's no law protecting you from it.

I don't know where you are and I'm not a lawyer, but if it's an at-will state (where you can be dismissed at any time for any reason), your employer might even be able to "fire" you while you're gone on vacation.
posted by mynameismandab at 8:00 PM on June 11, 2008

You definitely wait until you have a formal written offer before saying anything, but once you have that, before your vacation would be much kinder, or as soon as possible in any case.

If you get the offer the day you go on vacation, it would be nice of you to contact your boss during your vacation, even if that's just by telephone... but stopping by to visit would be even better.

In other words, first be smart... but then also then be kind. Good bosses are rare and shouldn't be discarded, the same way that good employees shouldn't be tossed aside.
posted by rokusan at 9:34 PM on June 11, 2008

Don't tell. If asked, simply say "yeah, I did meet with them before I left, but I wanted to give it serious thought and the vacation let me do that."
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:40 AM on June 12, 2008