Advice Songs

June 6, 2008 1:27 PM

I need songs that give advice for a mix I'm making. Any sort of advice is fine. For example, "Teach your children well" or "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover". Anything where the singer gives advice to the listener. Thanks...
posted by crapples to media & arts (98 comments total)

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Simple Man
posted by Partial Law at 1:32 PM on June 6, 2008

Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler"-- a classic.
posted by Bardolph at 1:33 PM on June 6, 2008

You Don't Mess Around With Jim - Jim Croce

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't the pull the mask off an ol' Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim
posted by amyms at 1:36 PM on June 6, 2008

Words of Advice for Young People - William S Burroughs

Mrs Worthington - Noël Coward

White Lines (Don't Do It) - Grandmaster Flash

Don't Take Your Guns to Town - Johnny Cash

House of the Rising Sun - The Animals

Express Yourself - Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band

Don't Go Home With Your Hard-On - Leonard Cohen

Love the One You're With - The Isley Brothers

Waterfalls - TLC

Do You Realize?? - The Flaming Lips

via
posted by B(oYo)BIES at 1:37 PM on June 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids....

Rocket Man - Elton John
posted by beachhead2 at 1:37 PM on June 6, 2008

Frank Zappa's "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow". Really.
posted by ddaavviidd at 1:39 PM on June 6, 2008

Let it Be.

Give Peace A Chance.

Advice for the Young at Heart - Tears for Fears

Don't follow leaders/watch parking meters - Bob Dylan
posted by fingers_of_fire at 1:39 PM on June 6, 2008

Express Yourself - Madonna

Don't go for second best, baby
Put your lover to the test
You know, you know, you've got to make him express himself
And, baby, then you'll know your love is real
posted by amyms at 1:39 PM on June 6, 2008

Take Your Girlie to the Movies (If You Can't Make Love at Home)

Really great sheet music cover art here.
posted by bubukaba at 1:39 PM on June 6, 2008

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys, either by Waylon Jennings or Willie Nelson
Women Be Wise by Bonnie Raitt
Hey Young World by Slick Rick
posted by iconomy at 1:39 PM on June 6, 2008

Hold On Tight -- Electric Light Orchestra
Walk This Way --Aerosmith
All You Need Is Love --The Beatles
Children Of The Grave --Black Sabbath
If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out --Cat Stevens
posted by optovox at 1:40 PM on June 6, 2008

Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen - Baz Luhrman
posted by amyms at 1:41 PM on June 6, 2008

Baz Lurhman's Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)
posted by Uncle Ira at 1:41 PM on June 6, 2008

Jimmy Soul - If You Wanna Be Happy (Get an Ugly Girl to Marry You)
posted by SPrintF at 1:42 PM on June 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Desiderata - various artists
posted by iconomy at 1:44 PM on June 6, 2008

Lil Jon - Get Low
posted by moift at 1:47 PM on June 6, 2008

Barstool, by Gary Jules

You just stay in the bar
For as long as you can
Y'know love is for sissies
It's whiskey that makes you a man

It also tells you how to stick someone else with your bar tab, which is invaluable.
posted by owtytrof at 1:49 PM on June 6, 2008

Love The One You're With --Crosby, Stills, & Nash
Honour Your Father And Mother --Desmond Dekker
You Can Get It If You Really Want --Desmond Dekker
Carry Go Bring Come --Desmond Dekker
Don't Be Cruel --Elvis Presley
Tell Her About It -Billy Joel
posted by optovox at 1:50 PM on June 6, 2008

"Hey Jude" has got to be the most famous song in this genre. (assuming it counts when the advice is directed at one specific person, not the audience as a whole).
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:50 PM on June 6, 2008

Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man Song) - Styx

Get up, get back on your feet
You're the one they can't beat and you know it
Come on, let's see what you've got
Just take your best shot and don't blow it
posted by amyms at 1:52 PM on June 6, 2008

About half of Jonathan Richman's discography...

But maybe best is "Let Her Go Into The Darkness"

Well, she's back with her old boyfriend,
he don't challenge her, he don't contend with her.
And she don't answer the cards you send,
and you're jelous of the time that he spends with her.

Just let her do into the darkness,
let her learn from all the things there.
Let her go into the darkness,
let her go, let her go, let her go.
posted by clcapps at 1:53 PM on June 6, 2008

You Get What You Give - New Radicals

But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
If you feel your dream is dying
Hold tight
posted by amyms at 1:54 PM on June 6, 2008

"You Don't Mess Around with Jim" - Jim Croce
"Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" - Frank Zappa
"T'aint what you do" - Jimmy Lunceford (Standard)
"On the Sunny Side of the Street" - Pick any... Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, etc.
"When You're Smiling" - Louis Prima (Favorite)
"Movin' Out" - Billy Joel
"Vienna" - Billy Joel
"Tell Her About it" - Billy Joel
"You're Only Human (Second Wind)" - Billy Joel
"Sing a Song" - Earth Wind and Fire

I could keep going, but I won't...
posted by Kimothy at 1:54 PM on June 6, 2008

I can't believe nobody's listed Michael Jackson's "Beat It."

Al Yankovic's "Eat It" will also qualify.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:55 PM on June 6, 2008

Would "How To Build A Time Machine" by Darren Hayes work? He doesn't actually explicitly describe how to build such a device, but it's an interesting song.
posted by divabat at 1:56 PM on June 6, 2008

Morphine's Do Not Go Quietly Unto Your Grave is pure awesome.
posted by otolith at 1:58 PM on June 6, 2008

Schoolhouse Rock: Lolly, Lolly, Lolly Get Your Adverbs Here
posted by DarlingBri at 1:59 PM on June 6, 2008

Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin
posted by amyms at 2:00 PM on June 6, 2008

Rick Springfield - Don't Talk to Strangers.

Sheesh, between this and the Huey Lewis and the Squirrel thread I am going to get all my cool points revoked.
posted by dirtdirt at 2:01 PM on June 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oh and Accentuate the Positive (Don't Mess with Mister In-Between.)
posted by DarlingBri at 2:01 PM on June 6, 2008

Cocaine blues-Johnny Cash and others

Come all you hypes and listen unto me,
Just lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.
posted by TedW at 2:01 PM on June 6, 2008

Know Your Rights (The Clash) gives some pretty good instructions.
posted by pointystick at 2:02 PM on June 6, 2008

Daughters by John Mayer
posted by mynameismandab at 2:03 PM on June 6, 2008

Of course, the ultimate advice song would have to be Dear Abby by John Prine!
posted by TedW at 2:05 PM on June 6, 2008

Shut Up Already --NOFX
Keep 'Em Separated --Offspring
Knock Me Down --Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sympathy For The Devil --Rolling Stones
Never Say Never --Romeo Void
If You're Going To San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers in Your Hair) --Scott McKenzie
Go Your Own Way --Fleetwood Mac
Superstition --Stevie Wonder
Dare To Be Stupid --Weird Al Yankovic
Join Together --The Who
posted by optovox at 2:06 PM on June 6, 2008

Vonda Shepard, Tell Him:
I know somethin' about love
You've gotta want it bad
If that guy's got into your blood
Go out and get him
If you want him to be the very part of you
That makes you want to breathe
Here's the thing you do...

Smokey Robinson, Shop Around:
'There's some things that I want you to know now'...
posted by whatzit at 2:07 PM on June 6, 2008

And REM's Good Advices has some slightly nonsensical advice.
posted by otolith at 2:07 PM on June 6, 2008

Take This Job and Shove It --Johnny Paycheck
posted by optovox at 2:08 PM on June 6, 2008

Hip To Be Square --Huey Lewis & The News
posted by optovox at 2:14 PM on June 6, 2008

Spanish Pipedream by John Prine

Blow up your TV, throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home.
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try and find Jesus on your own.
posted by triggerfinger at 2:15 PM on June 6, 2008

“Wild World” – Cat Stevens
“In the Middle, In the Middle, In the Middle” – They Might Be Giants
“Wishin’ and Hopin’” – Dusty Springfield
“On the Radio” – Regina Spektor
“You Learn” – Alanis Morissette


More cautionary tale than advice, but a personal favorite:
“Shankhill Butchers” – The Decemberists
posted by Palmcorder Yajna at 2:16 PM on June 6, 2008

The Shoop Shoop Song (It's in His Kiss) by many people, notably Betty Everett. (Am I really the first to mention this one?)

Words of Love by The Mamas and the Papas.
posted by CrunchyFrog at 2:20 PM on June 6, 2008

Everybody Hurts
posted by ALongDecember at 2:20 PM on June 6, 2008

Better Things --The Kinks
Don't Forget to Dance --The Kinks
posted by optovox at 2:20 PM on June 6, 2008

No sex in the Champagne Room -Chris Rock
posted by Jakey at 2:22 PM on June 6, 2008

'Don't Shit Where You Eat' - Ween
'With a Little Bit Of Luck' from My Fair Lady

And if you're looking for bad sources of advice, 'Old Blevins' - Austin Lounge Lizards
posted by spamguy at 2:22 PM on June 6, 2008

Don't Stop --Fleetwood Mac
posted by optovox at 2:23 PM on June 6, 2008

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Monty Python

If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing...
posted by triggerfinger at 2:24 PM on June 6, 2008

from 'Old Blevins', one of my faves:

I could tell he had some wisdom to impart
Some story that was etched and burned and stamped
Upon his heart
Then his eyes began to glisten
'Cause he could see that I would listen
We sat there at that bar 'til nearly three
And this is what Old Blevins said to me
He said "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
In Tijuana blah blah blah back in 1963
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
You should have been there blah blah blah
Is what Old Blevins said to me
posted by spamguy at 2:27 PM on June 6, 2008

Mamas Don't Let your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys (Willie Nelson)
Advice to the Graduate (Silver Jews)
You Can't Talk to the Dude (Jonathan Richman)
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 2:27 PM on June 6, 2008

As misogynistic as it is, Burt Bacharach and Hal David's Wives And Lovers:

e.g.

Day after day,
There are girls at the office,
And men will always be men.
Don't send him off
With your hair still in curlers.
You may not see him again.
posted by DandyRandy at 2:30 PM on June 6, 2008

Golden Boy (Mountain Goats)
Brush Your Teeth (Raffi) (SHUT UP)
Get a Haircut (George Thorogood)
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 2:30 PM on June 6, 2008

Daniel Johnston - Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Your Grievances
posted by hydrophonic at 2:31 PM on June 6, 2008

Don't You Worry Bout a Thing by Stevie Wonder

Just the Two of Us by Will Smith

Feel the strife but trust life does go wrong.
But just in case its my place to impart
One day some girls gonna break your heart
And aint no pain like from the opposite sex
Gonna hurt bad but dont take it out on the next son.
Throughout life people will make you mad
Disrespect you and treat you bad
Let God deal with the things they do
Cause hate in your heart will consume you too
Always tell the truth, say your prayers
Hold doors pull out chairs, easy on the swears...
posted by triggerfinger at 2:33 PM on June 6, 2008

"Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D
posted by 23skidoo at 2:40 PM on June 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

A few obligatory Paul Weller examples:

The Jam, "Town Called Malice": "You better stop dreaming of the quiet life / 'Cos it's the one you'll never know / And quit running for the runaway bus / 'Cos those rosy days are few / And stop apologizing for the things you've never done / 'Cos time is short and life is cruel / And it's up to us to change in a town called Malice."

The Style Council, "Walls Come Tumbling Down" (dig the ultra-'80s hairdos and dancing!): "You don't have to take this crap / you don't have to sit back and relax / You can actually try changing it / I know we've always been taught to rely / Upon those in authority / But you never know until you try / How things just might be..."
posted by scody at 2:43 PM on June 6, 2008

Thou Shalt Always Kill - Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip
posted by triggerfinger at 2:43 PM on June 6, 2008

"Wise Up," by Aimee Mann.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 2:49 PM on June 6, 2008

"Stand By Your Man," by Tammy Wynette. But see, inter alia, Hillary Clinton.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 2:51 PM on June 6, 2008

"A Kiss is Not a Contract" - Flight of the Conchords
posted by kiripin at 2:54 PM on June 6, 2008

"Slumber" by Bad Religion.

Probably not the kind of advice you're looking for.

I'm not too good at giving morals
And I don't fear the consequence
If life makes you scared and bitter
At least it's not for very long
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 2:55 PM on June 6, 2008

"Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town," by Kenny Rogers
"Rikki Don't Lose that Number," by Steely Dan.

Each contains pretty important advice, if you are Ruby or Rikki, anyway.

Also, "Clyde, Don't Spend the Day on AskMe," by various artists.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 3:00 PM on June 6, 2008 [3 favorites]

Give A Little Bit - Supertramp
posted by amyms at 3:02 PM on June 6, 2008

Ren and Stimpy's "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence" always set me straight.
posted by leapfrog at 3:09 PM on June 6, 2008

Ernesto Aeroflot - Advice for a Youngster
Excellent advice for anyone really, free, and a fine song to boot.
posted by Durhey at 3:27 PM on June 6, 2008

"In the Middle" by They Might Be Giants

Don't cross the street in the middle in the middle in the middle in the middle of the block.
Use your eyes to look out. Use your ears to hear.
posted by Gucky at 3:50 PM on June 6, 2008

Eagles, ""Desperado"

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

Lynyrd Skynyrd, "The Needle & The Spoon"

Don't mess with the needle or a spoon
Or any trip to the moon
It'll take you away
Lord, they're gonna bury you boy

posted by kirkaracha at 3:58 PM on June 6, 2008

Parts of Waltz (Better Than Fine) by Fiona Apple.
posted by howiamdifferent at 4:03 PM on June 6, 2008

Oh boy, you need a song called "Always Keep An Edge On Your Knife" by Corb Lund & the Hurtin' Albertans.

Never sell the old .22, son, never sell the old .22
cause the old .22’s shot a gopher or two
so don'tcha never sell the old .22
Aim it to the left a little low, son, aim it to the left a little low
cuz the old iron sight fires high and to the right
so aim it to the left a little low
Always tip the glass when you pour, son, always tip the glass when you pour
cuz if you don't tip the glass, well the foam, it comes fast
and runs from the table to the floor

Always keep an edge on yr knife, son, always keep an edge on yr knife
cuz a good sharp edge is a man's best hedge against the vague uncertainties of life
yes, a good sharp edge is a man’s best hedge against the uncertain vagaries of life

But i never could sharpen no knife, like the one who gave the advice
And I never could sharpen no blade, quite the way he sayed


And so on, for a few more verses of need-to-know tips on living the good life.
posted by roombythelake at 4:04 PM on June 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Lots of great advice songs in the American tradition. You can find all kinds of recordings of any of these. The New Lost City Ramblers (or just Mike Seeger solo) did versions of some of them that I like.

Why Do You Bob Your Hair, Girls?
Why do you bob your hair, girls?
It is an awful shame
To rob the head God gave you
And bear the flapper's name.
You're taking off your covering,
It is an awful sin;
Don't never bob your hair, girls,
Short hair belongs to men.

Blad Headed End of a Broom
Oh boys, stay away from the girls, I say
Oh give them lots of room
They'll find you and you'll wed
And they'll bang you till you're dead
With the bald headed end of a broom

The Girl I Left Behind Me
Come all you rambling, gambling boys, and listen while I tell
If it does you no good, kind friends, I'm sure it will do you no harm,
If ever you court a fair young maid just marry her while you can
For if ever you cross over the plains she'll marry another man.

It's a Shame to Whip Your Wife on Sunday
Well, it's a shame to whip your wife on Sunday.
Yes, it's a shame to whip your wife on Sunday.
When you've got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,Thursday, Friday, and Saturday
It's a shame to whip your wife on Sunday.

East Virginia Girls
Come all ye East Virginia gals and listen to my noise
Don't go courtin' those West Virginia boys
If you do, your ration will be
Corn bread and 'lasses and sassafrass tea

Working on the New Railroad
Single girl, single girl
Go out whenever you please
As soon as you get married
You'll have babies all over your knees
I've been all around this world

...and so on. They're really great!
posted by bubukaba at 4:10 PM on June 6, 2008

R.E.M.'s Stand is pretty straight-up advice.
posted by carbide at 4:12 PM on June 6, 2008

Sorry, and Nada Surf's Popular is a veritable design for life in the spoken part.
posted by carbide at 4:14 PM on June 6, 2008

Balance Beam by Blue October provides a list of advice on "how to get the girl"
posted by davey_darling at 4:22 PM on June 6, 2008

"Tread Lightly," by Kirsty MacColl.
posted by shallowcenter at 4:30 PM on June 6, 2008

'How to Roll a Blunt,' by Redman.
posted by box at 4:35 PM on June 6, 2008

Notorious BIG - Ten Crack Commandments
posted by schwab at 4:48 PM on June 6, 2008

Well, the chorus of "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana says "forever in debt to your priceless advice.." Liz Phair's album whitechocolatespaceegg has a couple of these - "Love Is Nothing" [like they say], "Polyester Bride," "What Makes You Happy" and my favorite, "Shitloads of Money" [It's nice to be liked, but it's better by far to get paid.]

REM - Don't Go Back to Rockville :) :) :)
Hank Williams - Mind Your Own Business [then you won't be minding mine]
Smog - When the Power Goes out [In the grocery store, you just take, take, take]
En Vogue - Free Your Mind [and the rest will follow]
2Pac - Keep Ya Head Up
Javis Cocker - Don't Let Him Waste Your Time
Jane Birkin - Fuir le bonheur de peur qu'il ne se sauve
Pet Shop Boys - Go West [life is peaceful there..] (this is a Village People song but the PSB version is fantastic)

Flipper - Life [Life is the only thing worth living for!!!!]
posted by citron at 4:49 PM on June 6, 2008

Somebody mentioned "Desiderata" but I would contend that "Deteriorata" by National Lampoon contains much better advice.

For example

Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.

Know what to kiss.....and when!

Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.

And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

Also

"Coconut" by Harry Nilsson ... "You put da lime in da coconut you drink 'em both up..."

"Cocaine" by J.J. Cale or Eric Clapton

"It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock and Roll) by AC/DC

"So You Want to Be a Rock and Roll Star" by the Byrds

"T-Bone Shuffle" by T-Bone Walker

"The Shape You're In" by Eric Clapton

"Think" by Aretha Franklin

"Do Right Woman, Do Right Man" by Aretha Franklin

"Try Me" by James Brown

"Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits ... "Look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it"

"Route 66", by Bobby Troup, or Nat King Cole or Chuck Berry or The Rolling Stones....
posted by wabbittwax at 4:53 PM on June 6, 2008

If You Find Yourself Caught In Love - Belle and Sebastian
Whole song

Can't Con An Honest John - The Streets
Whole song

Fake Streets Hats - The Streets
"If you don't like what's going down
You need to change something round
And what you can't change you've got to change the way you thought about"

Several Arrows Later - Matt Pond PA
"you should not want to sound they like do
you should want to sound like you
you should not want to sound they like do"
posted by o0dano0o at 4:54 PM on June 6, 2008

"Flabbergast" by Komeda

Sample lyrics:
Clean the apartment, throw a party, don't be shy
Maintain a converstation, develop taste in art
And read a book of Jean Paul Sartre, Wittgenstein, Jung, and Freud

Also, "Gotta Work" by Amerie.
posted by miniminimarket at 4:58 PM on June 6, 2008

Chinese Translation by M Ward.
posted by zerobyproxy at 5:56 PM on June 6, 2008

The Smiths say: Accept Yourself
posted by Free word order! at 7:03 PM on June 6, 2008

Imagine, by John Lennon.
posted by bryon at 7:39 PM on June 6, 2008

Pretty much everything on Will Powers' Dancing for Mental Health qualifies ("Adventures In Success", "Kissing With Confidence"...).

A bunch of club tracks in the early '90s, like Love Corporation's "Palatial", were basically dance beats laid down over personal-growth tapes.
posted by Lazlo at 8:06 PM on June 6, 2008

Thanks a ton! Great suggestions. I got several that will really fit the bill. You guys have pretty diverse taste -- which is cool too.
posted by crapples at 8:30 PM on June 6, 2008

How about "Whip It" by Devo
posted by travis08 at 8:35 PM on June 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

'Ten Don'ts for Honeymooners' by the Monochrome Set.. though, I doubt many would need to be warned not to 'ski naked down Mt. Everest with lilies up your nose'!
posted by Mael Oui at 9:44 PM on June 6, 2008

The Staple Singers, "Respect Yourself"
posted by kirkaracha at 9:46 PM on June 6, 2008

"Learn How to Fall" (Paul Simon); "New York Minute"/"The Heart of the Matter" (Don Henley--I love his comment at the beginning of this clip: "...It took 42 years to write and about four minutes to sing"); "Clarity" (John Mayer).

Not the best or clearest of choices, but...
posted by t2urner at 10:25 PM on June 6, 2008

Relax!
posted by nadise at 11:40 PM on June 6, 2008

Oh, duh.. Laid Back - White Horse [don't]
posted by citron at 11:51 PM on June 6, 2008

Rob Clarkson - Don't Sleep With Your Best Friend. - but it's probably a bit obscure to find.
posted by pompomtom at 12:10 AM on June 7, 2008

Day & Night - Nina Simone

The Chelsea Hotel Oral Sex Song - Jeffrey Lewis
All around the world there may be folks singing tunes
For the love of other people that they barely knew
And it puts a smile on my face, yes it do
And let me tell you that you ought to be smiling too
So the next time that you're feeling kind of lonesome and blue
Just think that someone somewhere might be singing about you
posted by hippugeek at 12:11 AM on June 7, 2008

Don't Sleep in the Subway!
posted by Merzbau at 12:16 AM on June 7, 2008

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
posted by TedW at 3:55 AM on June 7, 2008

I'm not sure if these have been said, but "Try a Little Tenderness", "How To Fight Loneliness" and "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying" might fit the bill.
posted by srah at 6:20 AM on June 7, 2008

You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd" Who knew?
posted by 100watts at 11:59 AM on June 9, 2008

Only the pithiest from my library! Where would we be without King Missile - How to Remember Your Dreams?

In order to remember your dreams,
you must think of them as if they were little kittens:
When you wake up in the morning, before you get out of bed,
sit up and say, "heeere, kittykittykittykitty (...)"
If this doesn't work, you must go into the kitchen and pour out a saucer of cream.
Place it by the foot of the bed, and say, "heeere, kittykittykittykitty (...)"
-- When the kitty gets the cream,
the dream is remembered.
posted by katje at 1:39 AM on June 30, 2008