Preparations/Procedures for Getting Child Placed at My Home

June 4, 2008 7:55 PM

Suggestions/Ideas/Advice for how to prepare/proceed for a sibling being taken out of the family home (and possibly into my own home)?

I have received information from a friend working in the system that there is a very good chance my younger sibling, with whom I am very close, will get taken out of my parents' home due to endangerment within the next few weeks. This friend has advised that when children are removed from their family home, it is preferred that they go with another family member. I am 23, recently married, employed full-time and a full-time student. I am certain that my husband and I would pass any of the requirements for foster care/family care. We would love to take in my sibling if this occurs, and I need to know what to do, how to prepare, who I can talk to, and how to deal with my family, who may or may not know about the possibility of my sibling's removal in the interim.

More information: We are in one state, my family is in another. Additionally, I have already spoken to the Guardian Ad Litem, who acted really strange and suspicious and basically brushed off my offers to assist in any way possible and my desire to take in my sibling if removal was to occur.

I'm looking for suggestions, ideas, advice, or anything else you have about how to conduct myself during this period, both so that I can prove I am a responsible and fitting person for the sibling to go with, and so that I don't give myself away to the family (telling them is not an option - I don't want to get my source into trouble). How do I proceed with the correct steps?

(I realize this is coming from a less than official source, but try to keep the uncertainty and relative shadiness out of answers as much as possible. Also, wasn't sure whether this should go into human relations or law & gov't - hopefully it's in the right spot.)

posted by anonymous to human relations (6 comments total)

I don't have a lot of experience in this area. However, as an uninformed bystander looking at your profile, I would wonder how you would find time to look after a minor if you are working and studying full time. So it would make sense to outline your schedule and your partner's schedule and to show that you can take any immediate steps to be more available. (For example, if you can reduce your course load, take a semester or two off, take family leave from work, change your work hours, telecommute some days/hours, etc. Perhaps you could telecommute for two hours in the morning and your husband could do two hours in the afternoon, so that you were both available before and after school. That sort of thing.)
posted by acoutu at 8:18 PM on June 4

How old is your sibling?
posted by Phire at 8:40 PM on June 4

I work for my local county's social services department. As far as I know, it's a federal legal requirement that the county department of social services where the child lives does what's called a diligent search to find any relatives that would be able to take the child. This is always preferred to a foster placement.

Don't let the interaction with the GAL deter you. There are several other people that you need to speak with. Call the main number for the social services department (sometimes called child protective services or human services or child and family services) in the county where the child lives. Ask for the name and number of the child's caseworker. You can explain you're a relative who's interested in being considered as a placement option. Also, ask for the name and number of the person who would coordinate an ICPC (may be the caseworker or may be someone who's in charge of certifying foster homes in that county). More info on ICPCs here. Another person to contact is the person who's in charge of ICPCs in your local county department of social services. Again, call the main number and ask to speak to who's in charge of doing home studies. You can explain your situation to that person. They should be able to help you or at least explain the process and give you some next steps to take. If an ICPC is initiated, it will be someone from your local county department that would do a home study on you to get you approved for the placement.

By the way, keep calling the caseworker if you don't hear anything back. Caseworkers are notorious for being overworked (and underpaid, I might add), so you may have to be persistent. The caseworker will not be able to disclose the details of the case with you. However, if a short term out-of-home placement is expected for the child, they may be less likely to initiate an ICPC. However, if it's suspected that a long-term placement is needed, or an adoptive home is needed, they should initiate the process. You can ask what the permanency plan for the child is; it's public information. This will tell you something. If it's 'return home' only, then they are anticipating that the child will go home. If it's a concurrent plan of 'return home' and 'adoption,' then it's less likely that the child will return home. The plan gets updated every three months at permanency planning hearings.

Also, a home study is a very intrusive process. They will do criminal background checks, want to know everything about your finances, check your house and make you child proof it. They will want to know what kind of discipline techniques you'll use, your own history of trauma or any emotional issues. You'll have to be frank about your family dynamics, both your family of origin and with your husband. In the county where I live, the home study workers want to know everything about your past; they even ask about your sex life. If you truly feel you're a good placement, then I would just suggest that you're as honest as possible about everything. So, it is good advice to start thinking about how you would fit a child into your life. You'll need to be prepared to answer that question.

I hope this helps and you can feel free to memail me if you have more questions. Good luck!
posted by crunchtopmuffin at 9:16 PM on June 4 [2 favorites]

Seconding crunchtopmuffin's advice and insight, which is excellent. The only thing to add is that, depending on your sibling's jurisdiction, he/she might have been appointed a CASA volunteer (a Court-Appointed Special Advocate) who sometimes works in conjunction with the Guardian Ad Litem (however, in some jurisdictions, the CASA and the GAL are the same thing). You might be able to get in contact with the CASA volunteer who might, in turn, be able to advocate for you as a guardian in the best interests of your sibling. Best wishes for all involved.
posted by amyms at 9:51 PM on June 4

If it isn't clear from the above, ICPC is "Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children"-it's a federal law governing the process of placing children from one state into the next. The bummer about your situation is that placing children out of state, rather than with relatives in the same state, always takes longer (and I've been in the field for 17 years). There is a requirement in the law that enables a judge in the sending state to make an order for an expedited homestudy by the receiving state, within 30 days if I recall correctly, but in my experience some states are fabulous about moving these through quickly, and some are really, really bad.

The other issue is that children aren't generally moved out of state immediately when there is a possible plan to reunite with parents. Relatives are always the first priority of placement, but generally keeping children someplace where they can have regular visitation with their parents trumps that. We don't normally send children to out of state relatives until the case has moved along and it's looking pretty clear the kids can't go home. If there is a chance they can return, placing them out of visitation range can really sabotage relationship between parents and children. Exceptions to this might be cases where it's clear immediately the child is never going home (eg parents are in prison for the long term, or have done something egregious like murder another child) or cases where the parents agree as part of a family decision-making process that this placement is in the best interest of the child.

Another suggestion I'd make to the above is to call your local Child Protection office and let them know your scenario; ask how they would proceed if they were asked to do a homestudy of you. Is there paperwork you can do in advance? Do they require training be completed before any placement (I think that would be unusual with a relative placement, but you never know)? See if there are pieces of this you can get out of the way now.

And you can always see if your parents would sign a release of information so their caseworker could share more information with you. The caseworker can ask them, or you can suggest it to them (depending on your relationship with them, of course).

Best of luck, though-man, this is hard stuff.
posted by purenitrous at 10:14 PM on June 4

If you're serious about this, you need to get a family law lawyer in the state and city where the child is ASAP. Child welfare laws and practices vary from state to state, and you need an expert. The advice from local practicioners on this thread may very well not be relevant at all to the states you're involved in.
posted by footnote at 7:34 AM on June 5