Professional networking faux pas

June 4, 2008 12:11 PM

Through a weird wormhole of coincidence, I'm meeting up with a person who is leaving her job at a magazine. I happen to be good friends with a guy who just passed the first round of interviews to replace her, and I know he wants this position badly. Is there anything I can do to take advantage of this coincidence on my friend's behalf?

... or is that ingratiating and tacky? While I'd love to jump in and say, "Hire this dude, he's fantastic!" I'm sure she won't appreciate my reckless enthusiasm. Should I just not bring it up at all lest I accidentally sour her to one or both of us? Maybe just try to weasel out what her superior is looking for in her replacement?

This is a weirdly coincidental, well-timed meeting facilitated through a mutual friend who thinks the editor and I would get along, being in similar positions and the same age, etc. I've never met the woman before, so I have no level of pre-existing friendship that might compel her to forgive me if I cross any lines of professional propriety.

Are there any guidelines or etiquette that should be evoked in these sorts of situations? I'd love to help my friend but I don't want to make the editor uncomfortable.

posted by Viola to work & money (14 comments total)

Sounds like you are mixing business and pleasure, and I would avoid it. Your plug would probably have very little effect, anyway.
posted by beagle at 12:17 PM on June 4

Anything you say to her carries the risk of it backfiring. She could think that you deliberately cultivated the meeting to benefit the friend, that he was behind it and not hire him because of it. Keep your mouth shut.
posted by 8dot3 at 12:23 PM on June 4 [1 favorite]

Sounds like you are mixing business and pleasure

True, but that's the demoralizing point of "networking": getting drunk around your barely-superiors and fannying up their skirts. In this case I don't see how the vacating editor has much say--she's not hiring her own replacement, and of course you're biased towards your friend. The only proactive approach I'd suggest is not mentioning your connection to the other guy, ask her about the details of her job, why she's leaving, etc. Then report back to your friend before he interviews in the second round.
posted by zoomorphic at 12:25 PM on June 4

I'm already hedging on my own advice. It's probably okay to drop one or two casual questions that you'd probably ask anyways about her job, but reign them in before the third beer.
posted by zoomorphic at 12:29 PM on June 4

My first inclination is to agree with beagle. But, is there a chance that, if Editor's publication hires Friend, and she is training or working with him in a transition role, your relationship with Friend will come up regardless? Will it then seem weird that you didn't mention it?

I think I would do this:

Go to the meeting with the Editor. After we've shaken hands and got into a bit of small talk, say something along the lines of, "In the interest of full disclosure, I want to make you aware that I know John Smith, who is currently interviewing for a position at Publication. I don't intend for us to talk about his job hunt or anything along those lines -- but if it ever came out later that I knew him, I wouldn't want you to think that this meeting was somehow engineered with ulterior motive. So, I just wanted to get that out in the open!"

Then I would move deftly forward to another topic.

My guess would be that the Editor is going to be of one of a few minds:

A. Not inclined to discuss an ongoing candidate search with outsiders, either way, for confidentiality and loyalty reasons
B. Has heard something about Friend's status, and might be willing to make a couple of harmless polite comments, once she gets a feel for you, in which case she would bring the conversation back around eventually.
C. Is a loosey-goosey type who will happily talk about Friend, the position, the hiring manager, the coworkers, the publication. She's leaving anyway, right?

But since you can't predict which, and you don't want to professionally hurt yourself or your friend, I say you should decide not to say anything at all, beyond your early disclosure -- and then she can initiate something if she cares to.

If she does bring your friend up, I would just say, "Well, I think he's fabulous, but he's a friend, so I'm biased. I'm sure everything will work out like it's supposed to."

And then move on to another topic. You've been positive, professional, and transparent. It might not affect your friend's gig, but it certainly reflects well on you.

The only other really safe option would be to reschedule your meeting with her -- for after your friend is either in or out. You could tell her at the later meeting why you rescheduled, and explain that you just wanted to avoid the appearance of conflict of interest.
posted by pineapple at 12:38 PM on June 4

You don't know her. You have no relationship with her. She has no reason to take your recommendation with anything more than a grain of salt, and she's probably not in a position to do anything about it even if she did.

Don't do it - you're not helping your friend, you're making your interaction with this woman appear to be transactional in nature (to make the recommendation) and not relational (starting a long-term relationship between two people that might hit it off professionally). It doesn't help anyone in the end.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 12:49 PM on June 4

Anecdotal: This happened to me a few years ago. I was the person leaving the position. A friend of mine found out his friend was interviewing for it. He put us in touch, I told the guy exactly what to tell the interviewer, and tada. Guy got hired.

So it can help. But I could see how it could go wrong too I guess.
posted by poppo at 12:51 PM on June 4

I think there's a gray area. No, do NOT say, "Friend X is interviewing for your old job, you should definitely hire him." But in the journalism world, everyone, and I mean everyone, knows how cut-throat the industry is, and how often jobs rely on chance meetings and lucky happenstance connections. She won't take a very slight to a friend personally, and she has probably benefitted from a similar favor in the past.

Take pineapple's advice about a full disclosure, which gives the Editor the option of saying a few things.

"Oh cool! It's a great job for x, y, z reason."

"How coincidental." [shut down]

"Put him in touch with me if you think he's any good. I can at least offer him some advice."

That's a bit unorthodox in other professions, but in the media world it's downright common. We're generally pretty sympathetic to shameless networking, even if we cringe at the word.
posted by zoomorphic at 1:02 PM on June 4 [2 favorites]

ahem, "very slight nod"
posted by zoomorphic at 1:03 PM on June 4

I pretty much agree with pineapple that it would be more weird not to mention it than to mention it. Especially if you get a good first impression from her, and assuming she's leaving on good terms, I would just casually mention it as the coincidence that it is.

Publishing is small, and people like to help each other get jobs. If you both work in the industry, and you both already know she's leaving, really, why wouldn't you know someone interviewing for her job?

I wouldn't be offended at all if something like this happened to me. Then again, I may be more like pineapple's #3 loosey-goosey person.

If you're really concerned, perhaps just wait until you're pretty sure you both get along. That way if she mentions it to her boss, it's "hey, I met someone who knows one of your candidates! She was nice." and not "hey, I met someone who knows one of your candidates! She was crazy." But really, I think it's unlikely to have an effect, and more likely to have a slight positive effect than a slight negative effect.
posted by lampoil at 1:11 PM on June 4

Yeah, on revisiting, pineapple's got it.
posted by beagle at 2:08 PM on June 4

Totally with zoomorphic and pineapple on this one. I have had many jobs in the editing/publishing/magazine/wordy-people fields and in every one, networking helped me either find or get the job. It is a small, small world out there and someone's word is worth a lot. This is generally accepted in the wordy-business community.

(Of course, having a stellar resume and great references helps -- but when your great references have someone in common with the interviewer? Even better.)
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:37 PM on June 4

I agree with pineapple. You might want to de-emphasize the "full disclosure" "ulterior motive" stuff though (don't think of my ulterior motive!). Could you just tell it something like this -- "So, I hear you are leaving, that's great! In fact, it's funny, I found out just the other day [ie, after our meeting was arranged] from another close friend [ie, not the one who set up the meeting], and it sounds like he's thinking of applying for the position, ha ha. Weird coincidence, huh, what a small world? So, where are you headed off to?"
posted by salvia at 5:50 PM on June 4

I agree that pineapple's points were sound. I would just add that, even if the vacating employee is not going to make any recommendation, it is still possible that some other information might be helpful to the friend. She might mention the managing editor's preferences as to certain types of writing, or the fact that she rides a Harley, or any of a number of other things.
posted by megatherium at 7:01 PM on June 4