BabySlashDogFilter: Getting that second dog
June 2, 2008 10:10 AM Subscribe
BabySlashDogFilter: Should we get a second dog when we are expecting our first child?
We have a nine month old Cairn terrier that is very much spoiled and loved. It is as much as part of our family as a dog could be. We are also expecting our first child in December. My question is this, should we get another dog to be a play buddy to our current dog so when the baby arrives the dog is less effected by the loss of attention? Or will having two dogs be too overwhelming for first time parents?
Essentially I am asking if having one dog begging for attention out weighs the work required for two dogs keeping each other company?
Thanks!
We have a nine month old Cairn terrier that is very much spoiled and loved. It is as much as part of our family as a dog could be. We are also expecting our first child in December. My question is this, should we get another dog to be a play buddy to our current dog so when the baby arrives the dog is less effected by the loss of attention? Or will having two dogs be too overwhelming for first time parents?
Essentially I am asking if having one dog begging for attention out weighs the work required for two dogs keeping each other company?
Thanks!
Also, you have to consider that a second dog is also a loss of attention (from you) for your first dog, just like the baby will be. That's a lot of change in a few months for a dog or a person.
posted by robinpME at 10:27 AM on June 2, 2008
posted by robinpME at 10:27 AM on June 2, 2008
I strongly advise against deciding on a second dog until AFTER the baby arrives (congratulations). It is almost impossible to convey, to someone who has not yet experienced it, what the first few months with your first baby can be like- wonderful but, also, absolutely draining and, often, stressful. Don't take on another creature that will need and deserve your attention. After 3 to 6 months with your firstborn you will be able to make a much wiser decision about this and your terrier can wait, at least, that long.
posted by InstantSanitizer at 10:38 AM on June 2, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by InstantSanitizer at 10:38 AM on June 2, 2008 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: Our dog is great with other dogs. We often take her to doggy day care centers for the social aspect. She is not a calm dog and has A LOT of energy. We were thinking we would get another Carin terrier. In fact, possibly a brother/sister as we are friends with the owner of our dog's parents.
posted by birdlips at 10:47 AM on June 2, 2008
posted by birdlips at 10:47 AM on June 2, 2008
not an expert, but here's my anecdote:
My parents had a dog when I was born. Mild temperament, total sweetheart. I was their first kid. They got another dog when I was almost a year old. I don't remember much about the dog they had when I was born, because it died early on in my life, but the dog they got a year later was my greatest friend for my entire life. They managed to have two dogs and one boy just fine, from shortly before I turned 1 until my baby brother was born when I was 2 and 1/2. Both dogs were complete sweethearts. Not biters, barkers or primadonnas or anything. As an example, I'm told that when I was a toddler playing with the dog I didn't understand that you shouldn't grab the dogs privates when it's rolling on its black while you're playing with it. According to my parents I would regularly grab ahold of the poor boy's thing while we were playing together, and the dog never once turned on me and bit me. That's how gentle a good dog should be around a baby. I imagine that they waited until I was almost 1 to get the new dog because that was when they felt okay with the routine of caring for me. Either way, the right dog can handle a new baby. As for YOU, that depends on some things you haven't mentioned:
do you have a yard? in other words, will you have to walk the dog personally or can you simply let it out every couple of hours? taking 30 seconds away from the newborn is no problem when you're just opening the back door for the dog. Taking 20 minutes away to walk the dog, 4 times a day can be draining. Doing it to walk 2 dogs can be exhausting.
as someone upthread said, I'd wait on the second dog. it won't make your current dog feel any better to have a playmate before the baby arrives, and when the baby DOES arrive it'll feel even more marginalized. additionally, the first year with a baby is insane. but at about a year, experience tells me that with the right dog it can be a great addition to the family. it has to be a completely gentle dog, though.
posted by shmegegge at 11:16 AM on June 2, 2008
My parents had a dog when I was born. Mild temperament, total sweetheart. I was their first kid. They got another dog when I was almost a year old. I don't remember much about the dog they had when I was born, because it died early on in my life, but the dog they got a year later was my greatest friend for my entire life. They managed to have two dogs and one boy just fine, from shortly before I turned 1 until my baby brother was born when I was 2 and 1/2. Both dogs were complete sweethearts. Not biters, barkers or primadonnas or anything. As an example, I'm told that when I was a toddler playing with the dog I didn't understand that you shouldn't grab the dogs privates when it's rolling on its black while you're playing with it. According to my parents I would regularly grab ahold of the poor boy's thing while we were playing together, and the dog never once turned on me and bit me. That's how gentle a good dog should be around a baby. I imagine that they waited until I was almost 1 to get the new dog because that was when they felt okay with the routine of caring for me. Either way, the right dog can handle a new baby. As for YOU, that depends on some things you haven't mentioned:
do you have a yard? in other words, will you have to walk the dog personally or can you simply let it out every couple of hours? taking 30 seconds away from the newborn is no problem when you're just opening the back door for the dog. Taking 20 minutes away to walk the dog, 4 times a day can be draining. Doing it to walk 2 dogs can be exhausting.
as someone upthread said, I'd wait on the second dog. it won't make your current dog feel any better to have a playmate before the baby arrives, and when the baby DOES arrive it'll feel even more marginalized. additionally, the first year with a baby is insane. but at about a year, experience tells me that with the right dog it can be a great addition to the family. it has to be a completely gentle dog, though.
posted by shmegegge at 11:16 AM on June 2, 2008
I would wait. We have 2 little kids and just added our 2nd dog; she's not even a puppy and it's still been more work than I expected. I can guarantee you'll have your hands full with an infant!
Also, our first dog seems more upset about the addition of the new dog than she did with the arrival of either children. And your current dog will probably be best friends with the new baby after he/she's old enough to be "fun".
posted by texas_blissful at 11:38 AM on June 2, 2008
Also, our first dog seems more upset about the addition of the new dog than she did with the arrival of either children. And your current dog will probably be best friends with the new baby after he/she's old enough to be "fun".
posted by texas_blissful at 11:38 AM on June 2, 2008
I would think about the effect on your existing dog carefully. As robinPME observes, this may just add an additional source of blame for loss of attention from you. We got a second dog to keep the first one company and exercise her more. It did work -- she plays hard and seems to like him a lot. But she is also still obviously really insecure about us having a second dog, even after a whole year. She will get up and force you to fuss her, whenever you are paying attention to dog2. If it all gets too much, she will chase him back up to his chair (he doesn't seem to mind, but she obviously really has her nose in a sling). So think that this may be traumatic, rather than calming to the dog.
You also have to remember that dogs are pack animals. One dog relates to its humans as its pack. Have more than one and they will relate to each other more -- and reinforce each other's behavior, especially when one is being aggressive. (The courage of the pack). I have noticed this a lot in the last year -- our normally quiet border collie happily joins in dog2's game of scare the passersby away from the fence, when she would just ignore them before. This is a known problem with "attack" breeds, but most dogs tend to need additional training when kept in groups rather than as a solo pet. You may not want to take the risk of increased aggression, with a new baby.
posted by Susurration at 12:07 PM on June 2, 2008
You also have to remember that dogs are pack animals. One dog relates to its humans as its pack. Have more than one and they will relate to each other more -- and reinforce each other's behavior, especially when one is being aggressive. (The courage of the pack). I have noticed this a lot in the last year -- our normally quiet border collie happily joins in dog2's game of scare the passersby away from the fence, when she would just ignore them before. This is a known problem with "attack" breeds, but most dogs tend to need additional training when kept in groups rather than as a solo pet. You may not want to take the risk of increased aggression, with a new baby.
posted by Susurration at 12:07 PM on June 2, 2008
I strongly advise against deciding on a second dog until AFTER the baby arrives (congratulations).
Seconded. The percentage of dogs that show up in the rescue group I work with b/c they didn't work out with a new baby is pretty high.
posted by inigo2 at 12:36 PM on June 2, 2008 [2 favorites]
Seconded. The percentage of dogs that show up in the rescue group I work with b/c they didn't work out with a new baby is pretty high.
posted by inigo2 at 12:36 PM on June 2, 2008 [2 favorites]
I strongly advise against deciding on a second dog until AFTER the baby arrives (congratulations).
Seconded.
Thirded.
posted by trbrts at 1:16 PM on June 2, 2008
Seconded.
Thirded.
posted by trbrts at 1:16 PM on June 2, 2008
I'll add to the chorus saying to wait...you're probably thinking that the first and second dog will entertain each other, and need less attention from you. That will not happen. Instead you will have two dogs that want attention from you.
posted by emyd at 2:09 PM on June 2, 2008
posted by emyd at 2:09 PM on June 2, 2008
fourthing. (fifthing?) the "wait" sentiment.
what you CAN do is identify the things your lil cairn baby loves, and do those even more often. e.g. even more time with the other dogs at day care.
dogs don't have the same stress we do about position in the pack. if handled properly, a dog can ease through a transition like this just fine. just be firm and consistent. a dog doesn't need the kind of compensation that humans tend toward. if the normal pack order is mom-dad-cairn, and now the pack order will be mom-dad-baby-cairn, the dog should be fine with it -- as long as you're consistent and gentle. but lavishing the dog with attention sometimes (e.g. when you ahve the time and energy, and are feeling guilty for having 'neglected her') and then completely ignoring her other times will only reinforce her fear at not-knowing where she belongs in the pack.
consistency, repetition, order, routine. all these things make dogs comfortable and secure. and they don't need to be routines that necessarily make sense to you.
good luck! and, congrats!
posted by CitizenD at 3:37 PM on June 2, 2008
what you CAN do is identify the things your lil cairn baby loves, and do those even more often. e.g. even more time with the other dogs at day care.
dogs don't have the same stress we do about position in the pack. if handled properly, a dog can ease through a transition like this just fine. just be firm and consistent. a dog doesn't need the kind of compensation that humans tend toward. if the normal pack order is mom-dad-cairn, and now the pack order will be mom-dad-baby-cairn, the dog should be fine with it -- as long as you're consistent and gentle. but lavishing the dog with attention sometimes (e.g. when you ahve the time and energy, and are feeling guilty for having 'neglected her') and then completely ignoring her other times will only reinforce her fear at not-knowing where she belongs in the pack.
consistency, repetition, order, routine. all these things make dogs comfortable and secure. and they don't need to be routines that necessarily make sense to you.
good luck! and, congrats!
posted by CitizenD at 3:37 PM on June 2, 2008
I strongly advise against deciding on a second dog until AFTER the baby arrives (congratulations).
nth'ing
posted by Ynoxas at 9:54 PM on June 2, 2008
nth'ing
posted by Ynoxas at 9:54 PM on June 2, 2008
Response by poster: After reading all the comments and discussing this with my wife we have concluded that we will wait to get a second dog. Thank you for all your advice it was very helpful!
posted by birdlips at 6:57 AM on June 3, 2008
posted by birdlips at 6:57 AM on June 3, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
My gut says one dog is plenty for your current situation, but more info would help.
posted by robinpME at 10:26 AM on June 2, 2008